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View Full Version : Celebrants - a law unto themselves? - v. long vent!



chillifly
31-03-2006, 22:14
I just wanted to share my experience with a supposedly 'high quality' naming day celebrant who offers a 'unique service. To be honest it's more of a warning as in my opinion this women should not be allowed to practise. I'm on the north side of Brisbane and she's on the southside - PM me if you want her name so as to avoid her.

We were after a different type of ceremony - a welcoming and blessing rather than just a naming ceremony. This chick, I will call her Jay, promised a unique ceremony, and said she was willing to do whatever you wanted, that she was very flexible and wrote the ceremony as you liked it. She is a member of two professional associations and claims to have 100% customer satisfaction feedback.

We had a meet with her and she is a bit 'toffee-nosed' and talked and talked and talked and talked (mainly about herself and NOT related to anything), but we liked the service she offered and the price was right ($160 + $25 for excess travel).

So we went ahead, filled in her 7 page questionnaire and she sent us the first draft. First draft was clearly a rehash of another ceremony and didn't really reflect what we wanted. So, we changed it to what we wanted (incl fixing up her spelling and grammar), sent it to her, and she sent it back, changed back to the way she had it (incl. the spelling and grammatical errors). :banghead:

Anyway, we went back and forth like this for about a week. We'd change something and she'd change it back or decide she didn't like what we'd said and try to do it differently. We spent ages sending her really comprehensive, clear and nice emails saying 'no, please do it this way' (the way we want!!!). We were so concerned about the way she was speaking to us in the emails - she was so rude and offensive; I ended up in tears she was so rude. It was hard because we were trying to be so nice because we didn't want her to ruin the ceremony on the day. We had serious issues with just how professional she would be. We discussed cancelling (THAT'S how rude she was!), but as my brother and DH's parents were flying up especially, it was just too late to try and find another celebrant, so we persisted.

Eventually we got there and then it was on to the naming day certificates. We asked her to send us a copy of them (didn't trust her after what she'd been up to with the ceremony). Thank god we did, because on every certificate in the biggest print was 'I Jay .......... herby certify...........'. My god - who cares about her?!?!?!?!? Why she thought we would want her name all over these certificates I have no idea. So, we told her to can all the certificates and to make up a special one. She got extremely ****y with us at this stage (another teary session at our end) and ignored what we wanted for the one certificate. So I actually made the certificate myself, emailed it to her and said, please just print this out. Could she do this?!?!? Nope.

She did the certificate up as she wanted; we asked her to change it. She changed it to what she wanted again; we asked her to change it. Nope; so DH rang her and emailed her when couldn't contact her and then she changed it - still being extremely rude in how she spoke to us in her emails. Then she made up this other certificate which was absolutely atrocious (she'd taken the photo of DD and cropped it so she looked like an alien - disgusting!!!), but we were really getting concerned about what she'd be like at the ceremony so we said, 'oh how beautiful' :barf:

Anyway, we ended up cancelling because I had to have surgery short-notice (which we told her about and she was still really rude and nasty - thanks for your sympathy and understanding!) and it didn't go best-case scenario so I didn't get out of hospital until the morning of and would have been no good for the ceremony. She wouldn't accept the cancellation though and even rang my mother to find out what was going on. My mum thought she was ringing to harrass her for money. We explained that we couldn't give her another date to do it, because we didn't know when my brother and DH's parents would be up next. She FINALLY accepted it and DH asked about a refund which we were entitled to according to the contract we signed. She said yes for the $25 travel excess and would do her 'maths' as to the remaining amount and let us know.

In the end she only refunded the $25 despite the fact HER terms and conditions say she will only charge a 'reasonable amount for work already completed'. And she made the cheque out in my maiden name - a name I haven't gone by in 2 years; I can only assume to make it more difficult for us to bank the cheque. Nasty, nasty, nasty. I had to take my marriage cert. and DD's birth cert in to the bank to prove my name change. When we asked why she'd only refunded the travel excess (why had she charged us for performing the ceremony when she'd not performed it???), she said she'd had to do a lot more work on our ceremony - 27.5 hours to be precise, a total load of codswallop!!! and her own fault for not listening to us even if it was - talk about ineffiency if so!!) - and as far as she was concerned had earnt every cent of it. She sent us the souvenir ceremony copy (complete with errors and things we'd asked to be omitted), certificates and cd (with the atrocious croppig of the photo) - and all of which had her name in big bold print all over them. Yuck, yuck, double yuck!!!!

We said you didn't do the ceremony, how can you charge for it?? So she comes up with, I charge $5 an hour, so I'll refund you $4.75 - what a load!!!!:mad: If she'd done what she was told, she would have been lucky to have spent 5 hours on it, but because we had to fight her the entire way, we then got ripped off financially according to her own terms and conditions.

So, if you want someone who doesn't do what you want, puts her name in big bold print on everything, and is rude and offensive and makes you cry, then this is the celebrant for you!

Anybody else have a good or bad celebrant story? The two times I've dealt with a celebrant I've had absolutely atrocious experiences!

I feel better now - although I'm still sending in a letter of complaint to the two associations she's a member of.

Thanks for listening

JenNT
31-03-2006, 22:22
Hi Amy, That woman sounds like she has no work ethics at all, or people skills:confused: I guess it just wasn't meant to be.
I was wondering how you went with your gb surgery....i didn't think you would be up and about by the w/e,its not pleasant.
Glad to hear things are improving and I hope your revised naming date goes much more smoothly
cheers Jen:hugs:

Faithcomesinnumbers
31-03-2006, 22:24
That is bad business. I am so sorry to hear of your bad experience and your surgery. Does anyone have any legal advice that could help? :detective: I don't know alot about this. :confused:

andrewsmum
31-03-2006, 22:26
:eek: :eek: :eek:

I'm sorry you had such a bad experience. I'm glad you are going straight to the authorities with your complaint. I think should be entitled to the full refund (going by the fact that she never performed the ceremony).

I cannot believe there are people like that out there. Surely she should have been a bit more accommodating of your needs.

Good luck with the authorities.

cwsmum
31-03-2006, 22:38
I feel better now - although I'm still sending in a letter of complaint to the two associations she's a member of.

You could also complain to the consumer affairs people, I'm sure they'd love to hear about someone like that :D

leilani07
01-04-2006, 09:55
Oh dear, what an awful experience! :mad: I am going to PM you to get her name (eek! need to avoid!)
Sorry I don't have any helpful info for you, I have dealt with Celebrants only a few times, and the ones I have had experience with have been fine. Hope you have better luck next time :hugs:

lukaelmo
01-04-2006, 10:21
You poor thing, but it is better that the ceremony didn't go ahead, it sounds like she would have ruined the whole day. I hope you operation went well, and that you find a new, lovely celebrant.

Do send those letters of complaint, nothing more satisfying than a good complaint in the right ear :D .

chillifly
01-04-2006, 10:40
Thanks ladies :hugs:

Sorry it was such a long vent but I do feel better. My letter to the associations will be much longer though!!! :D

JenNT - I posted in the gallbladder thread (will find and PM you). I actually thought of you when I found out they hadn't been able to do the keyhole and had done the incision instead (in 4 nights instead of 1). You were so right!!!! Should have listened to you in the first place :o Very painful at first, but I'm steaming ahead now. :smiliedance:

Faithcomesinnumbers - lol! If I had the money I would so go after her!

Andrewsmum and lukaelmo - I agree with you on the complaining. I always make sure that if I have a really good experience somewhere that I write/email the appropriate party and let them know (I even did it when I got my car serviced once as I was so impressed), and I do the same when I have a really bad experience too. I think the problem with these associations, is that all you do is pay to become a member, but nobody really seems to check on whether they follow their codes of conduct or not. I know in my heart of hearts that nothing will probably happen, but I know that at least I have made them aware that a problem exists, and hopefully if more people complain about her (although I don't want to wish the bad experience with her on anybody else), then they might be able to do something...

cwsmum - hadn't thought of that; good one!!

Thanks leilani07 (love that name!)

Take care ladies

Cheers

melbourneprincess
01-04-2006, 23:04
This is absolutely shocking!!!

If I were you I would ring consumer affairs and they will let you know what you can do to get her to refund the full amount.

I wouldn't be surprised if other people had complained about her ahead of you as well.

Good luck with it!

BJelly
02-04-2006, 06:22
Hi,

I'm so sorry to hear of your awful experiences. It sounds like there's something very wrong with that woman.

We have used celebrants twice - once for our wedding and again for a naming ceremony. We have had really lovely people conduct our ceremonies. But I have to agree there are some oddballs out there. It is very important to give yourself the time to interview celebrants to find the right one, and also because if you find they aren't any good, then you have enough time to find a good one.

We almost ended up in the same boat as yourself. I had lined up a celebrant for the naming, I knew it didn't feel right, but I didn't want to be rude and kept trying to talk myself into staying with her. I ended up biting the bullet and changed celebrants with only a month to go to the naming ceremony and that was the best thing - it cost us a bit more, but it was so worth it. We ended up with a lovely lady who was very professional and a pleasure to work with. We will definitely be using her again if we need a celebrant.

I'll PM you her details.

Briannabear
02-04-2006, 06:39
You poor thing... that celebrant sounds just awful!!
There are some shockers out there thats for sure!
An old client of mine had a celbrant marry them. She was rude and disgusting. She had the audacity to even call the bride a witch (meaning *****, not the literal term), all because the celebrant forgot that her brother was meant to do a reading - all she did was remind her! :eek: (If you knew this girl you'd understand why thats so bad - she's so sweet).

hayleylea
04-04-2006, 07:22
oh that sucks! makes me glad that im organising my naming ceremony myself without a celebrant! they were all $250 up my way and i couldnt justify that. I have made the whole ceremony up to what i want, its very personal and a family friend is doing the ceremony. I just couldnt justify spending that $250 where there are really no legalities about it! It was hard finding all the info for mine but once i got it all it was good to do it myself! :) i hope you have better luck next time...if there is a next time!

Dancing Girl
04-04-2006, 12:04
Hi Amy

You mentioned that this lady said that she was a member of 2 professional associations. I would phone each of them and talk to the Manager about your experience, then send a letter as well. You might get some action quicker through the associations rather than through consumer affairs. It might also be a good idea to send copies of the emails sent/received with your letters to show she blatantly ignored your requests (and therefore charged you more).

It also seems strange that she came up with an 'hourly rate' after you demanded a refund - she probably worked backwards so she didn't have to refund too much money!! Every other service that charges by the hour state their hourly fee up front - why couldn't she!?! That whole 'reasonable cost' thing seems rediculous :thumbsdown:

Good luck :)

chillifly
05-04-2006, 16:45
thanks gals!

melbourneprincess - I wouldn't be surprised if other ppl hadn't complained either

BJelly - ty for the pm. Glad you had more sense than me. Part of sticking with her despite concerns was time restraints. Won't make that mistake again!

hayleylea - good for you :thumbsup: Hope you have a really great day - let us know

dancing girl - I'm a chicken on the ph :o Will definitely be including copies of emails she wrote. I agree on the hourly rate thing too and now that you've mentioned about the up-front hourly fee, will be mentioning that as well. I wonder if she was planning on charging us extra to perform the ceremony??

UPDATE:

Sent an email to her ending with:

"If you honestly believe that you earnt every cent of that sixty dollars, and can in good conscience live with yourself knowing what you have and have not done, then keep it. If not, then you have our address and can send us a cheque. No need to email us back - just do what you think is the right thing to do. We will accept it right or wrong. Overall, I guess it comes back to professionalism doesn't it?"

Today we received a registered letter from her saying:

"Enclosed is my cheque for $160. blah blah blah..... It does not consitute an admission of your entitlement to any refund, which the terms of our contract and the work I carried out precludes. blah blah blah.... "

Woo hoo!!! :smiliedance: :smiliedance: Have no idea why she returned the entire amount (incl the non-refundable $100); I guess her conscience got the better of her. That said, I'm still going to complain to the associations about her behaviour during the process.

Thanks again ladies!

2littleprincesses
08-04-2006, 12:24
Wow, what a terrible experience. We were married by a celebrant, he showed us some examples of other ceremonies he had performed and we "cut and pasted" a few to have it how we (well I) wanted it. After all, it was OUR ceremony. We had a fantastic wedding.

Glad you got your money back, although I do think that if she did some preparation she would be entitled to some payment. I know you said she made it long and drawn out, so I don't think she should be able to say that she worked for 27.5 hours.

chillifly
08-04-2006, 16:25
Glad you got your money back, although I do think that if she did some preparation she would be entitled to some payment.

Yep, totally agree. Who knows why she refunded the total amount :confused:
There was the $100 non-refundable booking payment and then $60 for the final payment. We knew we wouldn't get back the $100 and didn't expect to, but we did expect to get some portion of the $60 back and that was the amount we queried with her. I even said to her that she should keep what it genuinely cost her to work on our ceremony, so we think the reason that she refunded the whole amount was so she can say we weren't clients and thereby not affect the 100% client feedback she claims to have and so the associations won't take the issue any further with her. My MIL thinks she's probably trying to make us feel bad, but it's her decision and we did tell her we would accept whatever decision she came to, including no refund.

All supposition of course......

Glad you had a better experience than us. We did the same thing as you for our wedding, except the celebrant stuttered and stumbled her way through the entire ceremony. We must be really bad at picking celebrants :rolleyes: