Friends Parents

[tahnismum]

Hi Everyone
I just need to vent and get advice from you as well please.

DS was invited to a birthday party on the weekend which was held in a park. At the party was all of his school friends (8 year olds). Unfortunately for us the park was across from one of DS other friends (not school friend) When he realised that DS was in park friend and his dad came over. DS was very polite and introduced said friend to other classmates. As time went on at least 1/2 hour ( i had left at this stage) said friend was still hanging around wanting to play with DS. DS went to play with other party guest as they had a clown who was playing party games with them. I received a call from said friends parents that night telling me how disappointed they are in my son because he had totally ignored said friend and that friend was extremely distressed ( apparently he is now undergoing therapy not sure how true this is but this is what dad had told me). I very politely explained that son was invited to a party and that it was very unfair of said friends father to except my son to leave party to play with said friend. Dad was extremely outraged at this stage that I had actually confronted him and has now told me that said friend will contact my DS when he is ready to "be his friend again". At this stage I had had enough and said that my DS was not going to be emotionally blackmailed by said friend and not to bother calling us. I know that I should not have done this as kids they would have worked everything out in there own sweet time, but I was so outrage that this man excepted so much from my 8 year old son.

Cheers Shireen

[jamb]

hope this doesn't sound to harsh but - what a jerk of a dad, said kid doesnt have much chance with that kind of example. the dad sounds very childish and I am with you when you say you don't want your son being blackmailed/pressured to behave a certain way just because said son is incapable of socialising with kids unknown to him. good on you for standing up to him!

[xkwzit]

Hi Shireen
No wonder you need to vent. I can't believe the behaviour of said kid's parents :eek: ! Your boy sounds like he did a great job! I'm so glad you stood up for him - he has done nothing wrong.

If the kid is actually in therapy it would probably be because his parents are disfunctional. I think it is unreasonable of them to expect your son to do any more than he did. In their place I would have explained to said kid that "friend" was busy right now and made plans to play another time, take said kid home and distract them with some fun thing. Kids need to be able to deal with the odd disappointment or two, I think that part of our parenting job is to teach them how to cope with it. It is certainly not to insist that the rest of the world revolve around said kid. He is going to have to deal with that sooner or later, regardless of overprotective, neurotic parents (OK a bit harsh - but I don't feel like being diplomatic :p ).

Having said all that, let the kids sort it out by themselves. I'm sure that said kid will have forgotten this episode very quickly (if allowed to by aforementioned neurotic parents) and will contact your boy sometime - just let them get on without bringing up the past. Although if neurotic parents prove to be repeat offenders, you may need to change your mind. Life's too short to spend it with people who bring you down for no good reason.

Cheers