Typical gender roles

[Angelmist♥]

Do you believe that men should 'bring home the bacon' while women look after the children.Is there male 'jobs' in your household? ie: taking the rubbish out, cleaning the guttering?

Is there female jobs around the house? Like clean the toilet, wash up, prepare dinner?

I would be really grateful if you could answer the poll for a sociology assessment.

Thanks!

[SassyMummy]

Well yeah, I think that if a woman is staying at home looking after the kids/house then the man SHOULD be the one working. That doesn't mean I think that all women should be SAHMs... there are some great SAHDs out there too... and some parents choose to both work.

We don't really have "male" jobs in this house (or female jobs either)... I actually always tell DP I'm the man because I do the "male" jobs... like putting furniture together, lugging heavy stuff around, etc.

Because of DP's working hours, nothing would ever get done if I waited until he had time.

Some things he has to do though, because I'm just physically not able to do them. That reminds me... there's 2 heavy boxes on our bedroom floor that he was supposed to move downstairs about a week ago...lol. If I could do it myself, I would... they're just too heavy.

He's also a chef (or rather, 3rd year apprentice), so he does the cooking when he's got days off too (not always, but a lot of the time), and he actually cleans the house better than I do... I hate cleaning.

[Ana Gram]

No, I don't believe in traditional gender roles. Whoever is capable of doing it, should do it.

[Sarieslittlemen]

I couldn't actually answer your poll. I believe yes I get to stay home with my boys. I carried them I gave birth to them so I should get to be the one home with them. But my husband also has the potential to earn more money than I do, so naturally it makes sense for him to go to work.
We both believe that one parent should be at home with the children. I work also, but I do it at night so our children can be with me during the day.
As for mowing, I love it. I do the mowing 99.9% of the time. Admittedly it would be nice if he offered every now and then to do it, but I enjoy it so it's assumed that I do it every time. I also take the rubbish out most of the time. If it were up to him it would stay on the kitchen bench indefinately.
I do 90% of the work around the house because I'm the one here most of the time. On the nights I work DH usually does the washing up and bakes the bread for me. Just have to get him to pick up after the boys once they're in bed instead of getting straight on the computer.

[missie_mack]

We dont rally have gender roles in our house :no: For a long time I was the main income earner and even when I go back to work working part time I will earn as much as DH does working full time. We do have things that DH does but its not because he is a man is just that he can. We share most jobs in the home like cooking washing mowing lawns etc. When I go back to work if DH hasnt got another contract he will be a SAHD. I believe things are pretty equal in our home. We always wanted to be partners and equals in everyway.

However I do hear constantly from our parents about good jobs for men and about how certain jobs dont pay enough for a man. It just frustrates the hell out of me. My FIL thinks poorly of our situation because I earn more money than DH :mad:

[Angelmist♥]

My FIL thinks poorly of our situation because I earn more money than DH :mad:

That's the kind of view point I'm desperate to find missie:D. FWIW I'm not a believer in gender roles either I just have to study them for a sociology assessment!

Hmm maybe I should just go around asking the over 50's for their input:eek:.I know my MIL has a lot to say about it:rolleyes:

[MummaBear03]

As a single parent I'm everything, so there are no roles. My bro and his wife are trying for their first and the way they are doing it is like this:
She stays home with Baby for the first year (she's got the boobs and couldn't be bothered expressing :p)
He stays home the second year while she works
The one that's home is the one that also looks after the general upkeep of the house and does majority of the meals also. In saying that though if the floors don't get done then the one that works has no qualms in doing it. The yard is something they've always done together, they have their own gardens and they pay a kid from their street to mow their lawn. This seems very fair to me.

[shanz]

i ticked yes, only because DH is the breadwinner in this house. He had a full time job when i fell preg, i was just working part time so in that respect it made more sense for me to stay at home. I also wanted to breast feed and couldnt express so would have had issues there.
We dont have gender specific roles in this house, we both just do what needs doing. In saying that hubby usually does the lawns, gutters etc because DS is a bit of a mummies boy, but now DS is in Daycare 1 day a week i do what i can on that day.
If i could earn as much as DH then i would be the one working, but i really think it would take some convincing to get me away from DS, i think i would be jealous of DH if he got to stay at home with DS!

[chameleon]

I didn't vote in the poll because DH is the breadwinner in our family but I don't think it has to be that way, it just made more sense to us as he already owned a business and I was in a dead-end job.

I do most the housework and cooking but only because I am here. He works such long hours it wouldn't be fair to ask him to be mopping the floors when he comes home at 7.30pm. He also does a lot of outside chores, looks after our cars and does work on the house when it needs it.

Even if I could earn more than DH I don't know if I'd want to be working though- I love being with DD all day, and it would drive him crazy!

[noniwaldron]

DH is the 'cash cow' (his expression) at the moment; I haven't worked since Nov last year. I have my own business as a graphic designer working from home so naturally it makes sense for me to stay home with Tyler who is 9 weeks. I am just starting to pick up some work again, so I can juggle both along with housework.

I also do the majority of the housework but that's not because of my gender; DH would do it without question if he was a stay at home dad. There's a few things I see as bloke jobs ie: mowing, fishing hair and crud out of our homemade watering tank system (i know it's my hair from the shower, but ew), climbing up in the roof to put buckets under the leaks when it rains, and moving huntsman spiders outside :)

Having said that I'm little miss independent and would do all those things if i owned my own home and lived by myself.

TBH I've never seen DH clean a dunny since I've known him but I'd hope that if he suddenly took on the homemaker role he'd still do everything to my standards ie: wash up more than once a week :rolleyes: (do some guys just not 'see' filth?)


As far as work goes, unfortunately I'm unlikely to earn as much as him as he has heaps of OT opportunities and gets extra $ for being on call and stuff, otherwise I would love to work and for him to be a SAHD. The only prob would be BF, Tyler is 9 weeks and expressing is labourious and time consuming and just not practical atm. Yeah I like spending time with Ty but could do that when i got home. Working and a moderate level of workplace stress just makes me a happier person. Plus I can already see that Ty recognises me more and is bonding with me more and I'd love for him to have that bond with DH.

Maybe next year (fingers crossed :fingerscrossed:) I would love to get a real job and fold my business, just have to convince DH!

[Berrie]

...

[canberramomma]

True equality means that everyone should do their bit, regardless of whether it is a 'naturalised' gendered role.

Unfortunately, in our society, equality is often taken to mean that certain sections of our society should do more than half the share of work.

[missie_mack]

That's the kind of view point I'm desperate to find missie. FWIW I'm not a believer in gender roles either I just have to study them for a sociology assessment!

Hmm maybe I should just go around asking the over 50's for their input.

Yep I think you would hit a jackpot.

Even my mother who I always felt was a feminist is slipping as she gets older. I've often heard her refer to jobs as not paying well enough for a man to support his family- which is ironic she would ever say that considering she was a single Mum with no child support for 20 years :rolleyes: :eek: I remember my grandparents discussing things like this and when my Mum wanted to be an industrial chemist talking her out of it to be a bank teller (despite having the grades and aptitude to do the earlier) I even heard a woman at work (maybe in her 40s) saying that she thinks poorly of the men who work in my position because its white collar and 'puncy' despite the fact most are earning $60k + I am always shocked that people still believe these things in this day and age.

It all does my head in because all we are ever told is that we can do anything we want and are equals.... but it seems that all stops once you get married! And somehow his career should always take precedence over mine as he is a man. My job will always be considered trivial by many older people as I am able to give birth to babies! Everyone seems to forget that my career is what bought the home and most of its contents. Nobody seems to remember that DH who was approaching 30 when we married came to the relationship with no physical assets (not that I really care)

DH cops it too though because being a man so many people expect him to be handy with tools and he is constantly being picked on for not having a shed with tools. Poor DH while being a brilliant scientific mind is also a extremely clumsy at times and would end up hurting himself (and the house) if he attempted a lot of projects people suggest he should be able to. Even people we have employed to do work have often commented that my husband should be able to do that. I also find it ironic that often reciepts are written out to Mr [insert my surname] despite the fact they have never seen that there is actually one and we dont happen to share the same surname LMAO They look a bit confused when I ask them to change the receipt (if Im using it for tax purposes etc) because Mr [my surname] is my grandfather :laughing: My husband has been given many funny looks when out shopping with my son and taking him to change rooms and everyone use to know my husband by sight in the country town we lived in because he was the only man who carried his son in his own baby carrier.

Does that help more?? :D

Yanno I really am quite lucky. I think most of the time I married the type of husband everyone dreams of having. While he may not be handy he is clever and my equal, partner. We approach everything as equals without any gender concerns. Just because I earn more money etc doesnt make him any less of a man :no: Infact I believe it makes him a better man and a better lifelong partner :goodvibes:

[Angelmist♥]

Woohoo thanks Missie!Yep that does help a lot more!

[Angelmist♥]

I want to thank everyone who took the time to answer my questions:hugs:.

Keep them coming if you're interested:D

[Refresh]

We are pretty traditional here. We feel that DH is best suited to being out and working, being the breadwinner and I am best suited to raising/teaching the children and keeping people fed and house neat etc.

We just naturally take on these roles but it doenst mean that I dont go out and do a (tiny) bit of work sometimes or that DH doesnt help with the laundry (he often does but I prefer him not to!)

We are two equally important people that have become one through marriage who have different roles in the family.:)

[Refresh]

Oh...and it is ABSOLUTELY his job to take out the rubbish:D:yes:

[cho]

Your poll was hard to answer, maybe you need to change the options. There is no middle ground kind of responce.

[Angelmist♥]

Oh...and it is ABSOLUTELY his job to take out the rubbish:D:yes:

Hehe is in our house too;):yelclap:

[taurusmum]

I didn't answer the poll because I think there is no right or wrong answer- it just depends on your individual relationship. For instance my mother always cooked and my dad cleaned because mum thought his cooking was too horrible for anyone to have to eat.

Right now, we have a 6 month old and I am at home FT while DH works. Previously I had always worked, and at one time had been the main income earner while Dh went through unpaid company restructuring and unemployment.

Both of us share the cooking and laundry, although I clean more often (things being dirty/messy do bother me more). He insists on putting the groceries away because I apparently have no system, and does all his own ironing. Taking rubbish out can be done by either able bodied person regardless of gender and tasks that neither of us want to do, such as dusting behind the fridge or doing the skirting boards get done by a cleaner who comes in once every 2-3 weeks. Neither of us are interested in gardening so we chose to live in a flat.

Fortunately DH recognises I am not just sitting on my butt all day while at home with the baby (he admits he doesn't think he could do it). I am planning on going back to work PT soon both for financial reasons and also because I have never not worked as an adult and I would like to remain in the workforce.

[forbetoel]

I believe that if at all possible that there should be a loving parent at home with a child until they start school. If it can't be mum, then a great dad is just as good.

[forbetoel]

My FIL thinks poorly of our situation because I earn more money than DH :mad:

How frustrating, annoying and just well...wrong!!!