Screaming ALL DAY LONG! GRRR!

[SassyMummy]

I have always been proud and happy with the fact that my daughter is a very happy little girl. She doesn't whinge too much and is just generally happy and outgoing.

She's 8 months old now, and has recently started to SCREAM as if she's BEING MURDERED whenever I move away from her. It doesn't even need to be out of her line of sight...just more than about 30cm away from her and she screams blue murder.

It's a bit better if someone else is around to distract her...but it's started to just really get on my nerves. I have to leave her screaming while I have a shower...and I worry that someone is going to think I'm mistreating her. I COULD always carry her around with me...but NO! She's heavy and I don't want her to think she'll always get her own way.

If I'm sitting on the couch, she'll spend most of her time sitting at my feet or, more commonly, standing up holding onto (and sometimes sucking or biting on) my legs, until she THEN starts crying because she wants to be cuddled.

When I go to the toilet she follows me down the hallway...usually bawling the entire way, even though she can clearly see me.

Is there any way I can get her to get over it? It's REALLY getting on my nerves and sometimes I just yell, "COULD YOU JUST SHUT UP?!" Not in her face...but just to get my own frustration out. I try my best to be a good and happy mother...but it's hard when you're trying to cook dinner but you have to put bub in the playpen so she doesn't touch the oven and burn herself...but she SCREAMS and WAILS so loudly it's all you can hear or think about!

Also - any ideas as to WHY she does it? I mean, I think it's a separation anxiety thing...but I would have thought the fact that she could still SEE me would calm her down a bit...

[Baby Girl]

Separation Anxiety definitely......

Some bubs 'suffer' worse than others. DD1 used to scream if I put her down or handed her to someone else for about 6 months (sorry) but she did improve over that time. DD2 sooked if she was put down from about 8 months until about a week ago. So each bub varies.

It does sound like she is worried about you being too far away. The best thing I found was extra cuddles and making bub feel safe and loved and included. In my experience, by not picking them up or sitting with them worsened the reaction as I was confirming the fear that they couldn't be close to me if I didn't give them that extra bit of cuddling. They coped better for it.

This page talks about separation anxiety and has a few books listed that may help.
http://www.cyh.com/HealthTopics/HealthTopicDetails.aspx?p=114&np=141&id=1848

Good Luck.

[caro224]

Hi!
I know exactly what you are going through. My daughter is the same and she is 1 1/2. You could sometimes smack them for it (which I'd never do of course!!), but I learnt 1 thing over the last 6 months (sorry): The more you work against it the worse it gets. The more you accept it and gives her the feeling you want to be close to her too, the better it becomes.
I really really know how difficult this is, but it'll pass! It will, but you can't do anything to make it pass quicker. Sorry, but that's what I expierienced.

Just keep in mind, they just love you so much and when it comes really worst, I imagine something happened to her and how much I'd regret not to have her as close as she wanted me to. I know this sounds cruel, but it does the trick. :o

I hope I could help you a bit

good luck :)

[Briswegian]

I always told my child exactly what I was doing, even if I thought he was too young to understand. I always gave a big cuddle and explained...mummy's going to the toilet now but I will be back in one minute. Then give them something engaging to play with and then come back and expalin that you've been to the toilet and you've come back because mummy always comes back because she loves you very very much.
I don't know if it helped him but it sure helped me to stay calm!
Danielle

[Jem]

Yep, ds2 follows me around everywhere.. and when im trying to cook dinner he is at his worst.. pulls himself up onto my legs and whinges... can get very frustrating.... now i just pop him into his highchair and give him some finger food while i do the cooking... might not last long, but gives me a bit of time :D

[kids]

defnately separation anxiety - this is about the time for it to start. you both have to learn to deal with it.... take her with you when you can or if you leave the room just for a few minutes make sure you tell her you will be back soon.

my godson had it bad - from 5 months to 2.5 years - so bad that you only had to walk between him and his mum and he would scream for an hour! most kids dont do that tho and get over it within a couple of months

[abo84]

My DD I have always been happy with, she has never been shy and would never cry going to stangers for a hold, she has never really been away from me, but at the moment everywhere we go she just cries and wants me to pick her up, she is 18months, and its getting to hard to hold her for long times as Im pregnant with number two.

So I dont know whats wrong with her, she has all her teeth, she isnt sick. All I know is I cant leave, and Im finding myself getting upset with her as Im not use to it she has always been very good.