Sad and confused

[braydensmum]

Hi how are you all? I am 21 years old and new to all this, but I thought it would be a good opportunity to vent and maybe get some advise...

I have a beautiful 7 week old baby boy, who I love more than anything in the world - I never new it was possible to love someone so much... Whenever I look at him I feel all gooey inside... I'm sure you all know the feeling!

Before I found out I was pregnant I had just started taking anti-depressants, but I had to stop when I found out I was pregnant, and I was fine throughout my pregnancy, just the normal hormonal upsets.

But since I have had bubs I have been crying all the time - at least a couple times a day. The poor little mite has reflux, so he doesnt' sleep much (awake every 2 hours at nite and sleeps for maybe 30 mins about 3 times a day) and cries alot. I feel like I am failing him by not being able to help him, and I know this sounds awful but I am starting to resent him for it and I hate myself for feeling like this towards him. I feel like I am the worst person in the world...
In the evening I get worse, because I am so tired and worn out I just curl up on the bed and bawl my eyes out, I don't know what is wrong with me. I don't want to look back in ten years time and remember that all I did was cry with my new baby, I want to have happy memories of this time.

I know I sound like a sook, but is it normal to feel like this? What should I do?

Thanks

Braydensmum :confused:

[Mumof2+1]

Hi darl,
You poor thing. Just wanted to let you know it is completely normol to feel the way you do. When I had my son(my second child), I cried all the time and every little thing upset me. Fortunatly he didn't have reflux. He sleep all night & most of the day. Some would say he was the perfect baby. And yet I still felt depressed alot of the time. I found out later I had Post natal depression. You might have abit of this(not saying you do) but it is a possibility, especialy if you had abit of depression before you were pregnant. And rest assured it has nothing to do woth loving your baby. You are not a bad person or mum just because you're depressed. Being a mum is a hard and stressful job at times It's only natural that you're going to feel depressed or overwhelmed sometimes. Not getting any sleep doesn't help either. Don't be afraid to ask for some help from your partner or family. Also, go & talk to your doctor about how you're feeling. Don't be embarassed. Your not the first mum to experience this, & you won't be the last.
In the mean time, we are all here to support you.
Best of luck chook. Hope things get better soon. :)

PS Congratulations on your new bub.

Trish

[Crazyfamily]

I want you to know I know how you are feeling. When my 3 year old was a baby he had reflux and I just got through each day. I survived on about 3 hours of broken Sleep a day for the first few weeks. Even though he was my third baby I didn't realise he had reflux and after I got him medication and it was working properly life was much better. My doctor tried to tell me I actually had post natal depression but I didn't think so. Looking back now I know I was suffering from exhaustion. Has your baby been put on something for reflux?? There are many different things the doctors try. My little one was on losec which is very strong but was a huge relief for him. Do you have someone who can help you out for a while. I remember that although I didn't want to leave my bub just having someone else with me and hold the baby for a while to give my arms a rest was helpful. My baby screamed so much that I even had people approach me at shopping to see if they could help.
I know hearing my story dosn't help you at all but I want you to know I am thinking of you and I really do know how you are feeling.
Take care and accept any help offered. Even adult company can make it seem not so bad.

[braydensmum]

Thank you so much for your replies, I know I am not the only person going through all this but it is really nice to hear from it from others...

Call me naive but when I was pregnant I always thought babies just ate and slept, and that it would be easier!

I have my six week check up on Thursday, so I will talk to my GP then.
I have my family and partner for support, both work during the day, but they are there when I need them. I know I complain alot, but when friends come over to keep me company or when I go over other peoples place I feel really awkward and not confident with baby, I expect everyone to look down on me and tell me I am doing everything wrong.
I have bubs on Infant Gaviscon, some days it seems like it works, others it doesn't. I mix it up and put it in a bottle for him, but he always spits it back in my face - any advice on getting him to take it better?? :o

Anyway thanks again for your support and making me feel better!

[Xavvysmum]

I found the family health clinc at the hospital I gave birth to be great. They run mothers groups, have appointments available for mothers with midwifes and pediatric nurses, so try contacting your hospital or clinic in your area. Or just call Qld health as they run them. Or try Womens Info Link for information on post-natal support - 1800177577