How to involve a toddler in the birth process?

[schmell]

Hi all,

I have a nearly 2 1/2 year old daughter and am due to have my next bub in about 10 days. I would love to have her involved somehow in the birth or labour of her sibling :eek: . Of course I realise that she is only 2 1/2 and have organised for her Nana to look after her while I am labouring. Nana is quiet happy to come and go from my place and take her out (park, shops etc) until we go to the hospital and then stay near the labour ward with her and bring her in when we can both (her and I) deal with it or if she wants to see mummy or daddy. The hospital is happy for children to be present as long as they have someone who is not a 'support person' to look after them.

Has anyone else had their little ones present during labour or birth? How did you do it? How did they cope? How did you cope?

Any advice would be much appreciated. As you can imagine not a lot of books go into great detail on this topic! And all my midwife has told me is the hospital policy on it :rolleyes: !

[kamckellar]

Hi There,my Son Was 20 Months Old When I Had My Second.he Was At The Hospital While I Was In Labour And Was Brought Into The Birthing Suite When I Asked For Him.it Comforted Me Knowing He Was Around.we Had A Friend There To Look After Him And We Supplied Toys And Food For Him.he Was Brought In The Moment His Brother Was Born And We All Had A Big Family Cuddle.if You Think Your Child Can Handle It Then Have Them There.i Got Told So Many Times That He Was To Young To Understand But As He Is Now Nearly 7,he Was Disappointed To Miss His Twin Sisters Birth As It Was An Emergency Csr.so It Hasnt Affected Him And Because He Feels As If He Was Apart Of It,it Makes Him More Protective Of His Bro. He Feels Like He Knows Everything About Preg And Birth As Ive Always Included Him And My Other Son In All Aspects Of It.they Read All My Magazines(well Look At The Pictures) Come To Dr Appointments And Scans.they Rub Cream Into My Belly And Giggle Trying To Find When The Next Kick Is Coming.so Basically If You Want To Have A Child There And Its Fine With The Hospital Go For It.let Your Little One Be Apart Of It With You. Hope It All Goes Well.liam 6,ethan 4,isla And Keely 23 :) Months

[mumof2girls]

My sister has 6 kids and the 3 girls watched the 3 boys be born (not all at the same time 1 at a time) and they really loved the experience. I had such bad deliveries that I didn't want my oldest child present when my youngest was born, but she was outside the room so as soon as she was born she was able to participate & she helped my hubby with the bathing etc.

I also bought a gift to her from the baby that we gave to her on her next visit (when she the baby a gift) and she was rapt. Most people forget about the others and they can feel left out with the baby getting lots of gifts. We made up a package of things like coloring books & books for her to read, special bracelet from the baby to her, all sorts of little things that made her feel very special at the same time as her sister was getting attention.

I know this is more for after the birth but it maybe an idea to think about. Hope all goes well, I know how long these last days feel.

[Mumof2+1]

Hi darl,
I'm 36weeks pregnant with my third bub. My other two children are 8yrs & 6yrs.
We have given them both the chioce to come in during the labour. My daughter(8yrs) wants to be there & will be videoing the birth, but my son wants to wait outside and come in at the last minute just as baby is arriving. He might come & go throughout the labour but that will be up to him. We explained to the kids that mummy might scream, cry, swear etc. while in labour & that is why my son doesn't want to be there for that part. He said he doesn't want to see mummy in pain.(How cute)
My opinion is that it would be great for your daughter to be present & that she will handle the birthing process fine. The only question is wether she'll be able to handle seeing you in pain. In saying that though, I believe if you explain everything to her & have someone there to take how out if it gets too much, she will be fine. Good-luck with everything. Let us know how she goes.

Trish
xxx

[schmell]

Hey all,

Well Nyssa did very well during the birth of her sister. I spent most of the time at home except the last 45 minutes.

I explained to Nyssa that I had a sore belly and baby would be here soon and whenever I had a contraction she would put her hand on my belly and tell me "It's OK Mummy". She would come running from whatever she was doing as soon as she heard me make a sound. So sweet and it really did help with the pain as she is so lovely.

Just before my waters broke I was in the bath and she stayed in the bathroom with me the whole time and had her watering can and was pouring water over my back and my belly. She thought it was great to be able to pour water on Mummy for a change!! Every time my partner stuck his head in she would tell him "It's OK, I looking after Mummy".

Once my waters broke I took her aside and told her that I was going to see the doctor now and her godfather was going to take her to the hospital to see Mummy and Daddy there (I had already told her this earlier but told her again so she didn't think I was abandoning her). She went quite happily in the car and by the time they got to the hospital (only five minutes behind us mind you) Sienna was born and so when Nyssa came into the delivery ward (by her own choice) the first thing she saw was her baby sister and then gave me a cuddle and then sat with Daddy while I fed Sienna.

While I went for a shower (my DP came to help me) I told Nyssa that she was in charge of watching Baby Sienna and she and her godfather stayed with the new arrival until we got back and then we were whisked into the maternity ward and Nyssa hasn't let Sienna out of her sight since!!

I was so happy that Nyssa coped so well. She wasn't fazed at all by me having contractions or my waters breaking or the blood that was still visible when she came into delivery to see us. Her godfather had told her on the way in that Mummy might have blood on her and checked if she still wanted to go in. She did and was fine.

Sorry to ramble but I am so proud of my little girl and so happy that she seemed to enjoy being involved!!

[mumof2girls]

Congratulations on what sounds like a good labour and birth, it sounds like your little girl knew what to expect so she wasn't surprised at all and that's why she coped so well , you should be so proud of her :)

My daughter was similar when I was pregnant but I wouldn't have here at the delivery (I had real bad deliveries & didn't want to scare her) and she would help me at home by bathing, picking out clothes etc and my 2 girls are so close it is amazing & I think it all had to do with her being a part of the process of during & after baby arrives!

Again Congrats & good luck