More getting to know you....our journey so far

[farmmummy]

Okay so I pinched this one from the November thread. The idea is to tell every one about ttc journeys, pregnancies, births etc. I have 3 to get thru to will take a bit to do so I'll do one every now and then to let others have a chance to have their say.

[farmmummy]

Well I left school at 16 and went to work as a Jillaroo, when I left my job I went home to mum, visited a friend and met her older brother (5 years older) and we hit it off. I was 17 by then. I moved into a house with him and his mate (not happy living with mum so I moved out to get away) then after living with him for 4 months I fell pregnant (really not planned but I love her all the same). Relationship wasn't a real stable one due to my hormons and Mental state at the time (didn't realise I had issues) and not really understanding partner. Any way we ended up moving in with his parents (who I didn't like and they didn't like me) so things were always strained.

The birth: I had an appointment with my GP on the Thursday he said "next time I see you you'll have a baby" the next day was the appointment with the Dr at the hospital and she said "your no where near ready to have bub" mind you I was already 2 days over due. Over the weekend I kept having braxtons then on the Sunday while visiting my mum she asked if I was having back pain which I was. we both thought I was in labour. I went back to partners parents and went to bed early.
Early hour next morning my partners father woke me up at 4 am having an epileptic fit I'd been having contractions since 1am and figured no point going back to sleep so I got up and had a cup of tea. When partner went to go to work I got him to drive me to mums on the way past he was going to stay but mum said no don't worry about it.
At 9am I had a show so called the hospital which was still an hour away so they told me to slowly make my way over. We called partner to say what had happened and my step dad took me to partners work who then took me to the hospital. I arrived at 10am and the midwife said I was 4cm dialated and would have this baby by end of her shift (after she asked if I was 14 then said I shouldn't laugh because we get 14 year olds in -by that time I'd been 18 for 2 months). So after giving me a bed and loads of walking by 8pm that night I was in really bad pain and only 5-6cm dialated. Bubs back was in line with mine so she pain was worse and very slow. They took me to the labour suit and broke my waters, I really didn't know what pain was till then lol. still everything was slow and painful. We tried heat bags and gas (scared **** out of me I couldn't consentrate because it was too high) so I opted for epi. So after that Mum, Partner and I managed to sleep til about 1am when I said to a midwife that I could feel pain again. She checked and said "you know where the head is? Next contaction push" so at 1:57am Tuesday 30 September Alana Jayne was born 54cm long and 8lb 9oz. Slight tear but not worth stitching.
After wards:
Because all was straigt forward we were aloud to be realised to local hospital near mum. Only problem was the staff there didn't know how to look after babies even thoe they are suppose to. So at 3am we were transported back to the hospital at Ipswich in an ambulance because the staff didn't think her breathing was right. We were put into the childrens ward. Then about 8am the midwife who admitted me on the monday took us back to maternity and we were given a private room and I had to keep Alana with me because we'd been out of the hospital and in the childrens ward so she could have picked up something. I had depression before I had even fallen pregnant (didn't know) and Alana had reflux and colic so was very difficult to settle so I was a mess even before I left hospital. The first night back in the hospital there was a nurse put a sids monitor on Alana which kept going off all night. the next morning the midwife who booked me in appologised for this and worryign me.
At Home:
Things didn't go well from the start. I was sitting in the lounge with Partners parents when I asked if it was hot, I kept getting hot and cold. His mother said "Oh some times woman get hot and cold flushes, any way went to see mum and she took me to the dr as soon as I told her what Partners mum had said. I had matitus and didn't believe I could breast feed which was sooo painful to begin so I gave up. She still wouldn't settle unless she was being held and lead to all sorts of problems. Partners parents started interfearing and I left with Alana. After me going off my nut at his familty etc I ended up putting a restraining order on him and he had to put one on me. Then after talking it over he put me up in the local pub and I admitted that he should take Alana for a while. Before we went to court he convinced me to give him temporary custody which I did (as much as I feel guilty about it I think at the end of teh day it was better for her sake) I then moved into a caravan park and after a while partner and I got back together and moved up to cloncurry with Alana to get away from family interfearance. Which at the end of the day didn't work out as I found I could live with out him so he took Alana back to his mums and I went back to mine. I started TAFE in Ipswich traveling daily and then moved down there. He came and stayed with me some but then work dried up so he went back to his mums with Alana and we broke up for good. While in mediation about visitation for Alana he lied and made me look like a fool and then went against the whole bloody order and the last time I got to see her was on Chirstmas eve 2000. I know she still thinks of me as she talks to my mum and grand mother about me (but I don't talk to them I only talk to an aunt and uncle on that side of the family other than that I stay away better for my own health and relationships that way). I ended up meeting the most wonderful man of my life, my now husband....

[PrincessT]

Nikki - do you think you may see Alana in the near future? Sorry if I am being nosy - I just feel that you have selflessly given up so much and you are a wonderful mum! I understand you must miss her so much.
xxxx

[farmmummy]

Teena I would love nothing more than to see her but I really don't want to upset her life I know she going really well and I don't want to upset the calm she has. I know she has a step sister and half sister and I don't want to upset her life. I think when she is older and can make a decision for herself and make up her own mind about the way things panned out. And on a selfish note her father just makes my blood pressure rise and all I want is blood.

Once pregnancy down 2 more to go....Any one else going to share???
Nikki - do you think you may see Alana in the near future? Sorry if I am being nosy - I just feel that you have selflessly given up so much and you are a wonderful mum! I understand you must miss her so much.
xxxx

[farmmummy]

Well Matt and I have been together now for just over 7 years and married for only 4 years. In 2004 we married in May, andmoved house (town) in November to a small country town from Ipswich. Then I found out I was pregnant in April 05, again not planned (well not so early) I had only started a new job and I was on the pill believe it or not.
Prengnacy went fairly well untill 32 weeks when Sarah thought she would turn up early. The meatworks had just shut down so Matt was traveling over to Toowoomba. I said it didn't feel right and I would travel along and visit the hospital if it was nothing (which I thought it ws) I would be visiting a friend in Kingaroy.
They put the monitor on and said your not going any where. Even thoe I wasn't dialating I was contacting every 3 minutes. After a drip and drugs they stopped the attempt (but the peadiatric recovery team was on stand by in Brisbane). So I had to leave work on maternity leave earlier than I had planned because they said to take it easy.
On my last anit-natal visit (was due in 2 days) I told the midwife I'd been having what I thought were braxton hicks. She went and got te doctor after examining me. When the Dr came in and gave me a quick internal I was already 3 cm dialated at 9am. They asked me to stay in Kingaroy, do some shopping etc in case my waters broke because Sarah hadn't dropped and they worried if my waters broke the cord would flush out and be jammed by her head. So I went to visit one of the other inspectors wives and went to lunch with her and her friend then after going to pay a bill at the post office she took me back to the hospital where they admited me. I was only 5cm dialated again Sarah's spine was in alignment with mine it was slow (not yet unbearable). So Matt was called and drove very quickly to be with me. Just as he got there they broke my waters and the pain started to increase. I asked for an epi and was taken to the labour suit. I was checked out to see if I could still have one and I was 6cm so they gave me the block and it was great for oh about an hour. The midwife was the only one on that night (small rural maternity hospital) and the heartbeat was slowing at one stage she couldn't find it so they put a probe on her head and let it go at that for a little bit until it stopped reading. When the midwife went to check what the problem was the probe had come off and she was ready to push.
The Midwife asked if I could feel my contractions to which I happily replied not a thing. But I watched the monitor and started to push when I was having a contraction and started to push. At 6:57pm on the 23rd November Sarah Grace came into the world at 54cm long and 7lb 8oz.
After:
Well nothing really special happened we managed to breast feel really well and she grew and put on weight really well. I went back to work awhen she was 3 months and still feed her till she was about 9 months. Alsways slept really well and is a beautiful child. We are trying to potty train at the moment and not doing too bad.

[PrincessT]

I'll go next!!!

Baby Number 1 - Nickname Baby V
TTC - DH and I got married relatively young. I was 22 and he was 24. We had no issues with it as we were financially stabe and he had been together for just over 4 years. We knew we were not ready for a baby at that time as we wanted to work hard and have some money invested and go on numerous holidays before TTC. This we did and had been married 6 years before falling pregnant in May 2005. It didnt take us long to concieve and we were really lucky everything went smoothly.

Pregnancy - When I was 12 I was involved in a massive MVA. It was in 1989 in Kempsey and 2 buses collided head on. 35 people were killed and I sustained spinal injuries. I was in hospital for 2 months and was told that I would have to be very careful if I chose to fal pregnant as the strain on the spine would have to be monitored. When you tell this to a young girl you laugh it off, telling it to a 28 year old woman is different. Thankfully under the guidance of my doctors and my chiropractor I had a blissfully stress free pregnancy. I worked up until 33 weeks (it was Christmas, otherwise I would have kept working) and was really fit.

Delivery - in light of my spinal dramas. I elected to have a c-section and was encouraged by my spinal specialist and my OB was fantastic about it. We worked out how we saw it going and I must say, I was rather glad that it was going to be stress free and quite planned.
On Jan 22nd after a day out at the fish markets, I came home for a swim and was lying in peace when my water broke. I was 37 weeks, so a little early! My OB was overseas, so his stand in came and took over. We briefed about my c/s option and he was happy to go ahead with the delivery. It was very quick and smooth and exactly what I wanted. Allegra was born at 9.10pm.. a little on the small side at 2.2kgs but perfect.

After - We had feeding problems with her for about 2 weeks and batted with it. She ended up becoming a great breast feeder until 10 months, when I had just had enough. She is now a heathy and very funny 2 year old.

Mine is so uneventful!!! Hope I didnt bore you all xxx

[farmmummy]

Okay please some one else post here too, at the moment its all been about me and I really would like to hear othe ladies stories....This is the hardest one for me to type for obviouse reasons and has taken till now for me to get my thoughts together to type it.

Sarah was 15 months and we got a BFP, we were planning on another bub but not going to ttc until October last year. I wanted to try for a winter baby for a change. Again I was on the pill, stronger than the one I was on with Sarah. It really threw all our plans out the window for the the Farm. At the begining Matt was at home the meatworks was open again and then one morning I got up to save a green frog from the cat (no where near extinct at my place) when I felt a wet sensation I looked down and saw liek a water with a tinge of blood in it so I went to the toilet and there was loads of blood. I put a maternity pad on and got Sarah and myself and jumped into the car and speed the 40klms to the maternity hospital. I literaly speed, and the normal half hour trip didn't take that long but I still managed to fill the pad in that short time. I was stuck there all morning at the hospital thinking the worse and no one to tell me any news. Finally after drs finished the rounds they gave me an internal and all was ok so I got a blood test and referal and got to go home keeping out of mischief. I had my scan and there was no reason for the bleed to be so heavy. You could see where the blood came from tho. So I had to let Matt go on the horse ride without me (really not happy about as I'd put so much work into my filly who I'd just spent lots of money on breaking her in). Just before the ride I started to bleed a little for no reason againand this time Matt was with me and he could see the blood had soked thru my shorts. The bleed was at 10 weeks and I had a scan at 11 weeks I asked about the sex then and she said it was a boy but check at 20 weeks, which I did and even I could see it was definatley a boy. I went to a friends wedding (I was in charge of keeping things rolling smoothly) and at the end of the night I got a fever and flue like symptoms which i got over a few days later. Other than that and a bout of food poisening I was okay until the end when I started to puff up a little. That is the only time they took my urine sample - I was going with the hospital only because my gp had left just before I found out I was pregnant and the other doctors made me feel like I was getting the brush off - It happen to be just fluid retension so no problems there.
The meatworks had shut down early on after the bleed and Matt spend a fair bit of time in Rockhampton. Towards the end they moved him to Ipswich and then the week before I was due he was home.
Three days before my due date I had my anti-natal and bub was very high up still. Dr said when he makes a move then he will come quick after that. So we had lunch at the local pub and then went home. That night we all went for a walk up the drive (1klm) we got 3/4 and sarah decided to have a poop which was really bad because she didn't want to walk any more even going home. So Matt and I took turns carrying her down to the house me half jogging.
That night at midnight I got up to empty the thimble and I had a sneezing fit -I get heyfever and sinuse) and I was sure I felt a pop. I went back to bed and thought I was just a little gummed up IYKWIM from trying to induce said baby. I cleaned myself up and then went back to bed and it happened again so I got a towl. Laying in the darkness I said to Matt who was a sleep "I think my waters have broken" then not 5 minutes later Sarah woke and came into us and woke Matt up. He asked me if I was okay and I told him what had happened. He asked me what I wanted to do, I told him to back to sleep because there were no contractions.
The big day:
At 4:45am I got out of bed while they still slept and was about to do some banking when Matt came in and asked me what did I want to do as still no contractions. I phoned the hospital and they told me to come in. So I made Sarah and Matt eat breaky (with the two girls I brought the food back up so wasn't going to do that again) then father and daughter had a bath. I did dishes, dressed Sarah, took rubbish out and then went to the hospital. About then the contractions started to come but they didn't seem to be regular to me. We got to the hospital just before 7:30am and they made me eat breaky to help contractions start up properly (Didn't have enough sugar to feed my body) Once that happened they kept me on the monitor till 9am contractions coming regularly then. We walked for an hour every time I had a contraction I had to bend my knees slightly and wiggle my hips because surprise surprise Jack's spine was in line with mine and he was still so high. Then at 10am we went back to my room I was getting closer and the pain was increasing. The midwife came in and said we'll go up to the labour suit in a few minutes she had to wait for the other lady who had been induced after being 10 days over to come up to because she was the only midwife on that day. Another reason for staying in our room as long as possible was because she didn't want to panic Sarah who walked around very patiently with me and kept me consentrating on things. Not even 5 minutes later I had another heavy painful contaction come over me and the midwife bussled in and said that's it up we go.
I got to the nurses station and hung off the rail as I had another contraction then with Sarah's help made it up stairs to the labour suit. I just got upstairs and on the bed intime to start pushing. After about 20 minutes pushing and almost standing against the back of the raised head of the bed John "Jack" Leslie was born 34cm head and 50 cm long and only 6lb 12oz at 10:57am on the 18th October 2 days before due date, no drugs at all and no stitches. Sarah was with us the whole time and a perfectly well behaved little girl, wise beyond her years (some times) It turned out that there wasn't any one to look after her because her grandparents went up to the Cape for their annual holiday and we had no one else to baby sit some days I wish she hadn't been there but I'd never change what happened she wasn't even afraid. The lady who was induced also had a boy exactly 1 hour after jack was born. I was so happy because I had my pigeon pair and my family was complete...for such a short time. I'm not going to go into what aspired next but if you are interested my greif Journal is on Bubhub. I guess it will also explaine why I've been stressing so much not just because I nearly lost Jack so early but because we lost him in general and I couldn't bare that to happen again.

[*Chels*]

Okey dokey heres a bit about moi.
I met my DH through friends-had the hots for him the first time I met him,but I was only 20 and he was 28 so I thought he was ancient:laughing:
We hang out for a few months,then went exclusive.We had a holiday over New Years on Gold Coast(we are kiwis) and decided to move there.After the holiday and a week before my 21st I found out I was pregnant.And I got an engagement ring for my bday.

Um labour....Sunday morning I went out shopping with my bro,and was having cramps.Got home at 1pm and had had my show.Got excited that I could have my baby soon!Laboured through the night,went to hospy at 9am Monday morning.Riley was finally born at 5.30pm that night,after 2 1/2 hours of pushing and just gas.

When he was 7 weeks old,we left NZ with nothing but our clothes and a few treasured items and began our new life in OZ.
Now we have been here for over 2 years.We got married in May last year and all our whanau and friends from NZ came over and it was the best time of my life!!!
We decided around Xmas to TTC,and it only took 1 month:D
So here we are!I am loving being preg this time round-maybe coz I was prepared this time!
Am booked into birth centre and want a drug free water birth this time.
:ecomcity:

[farmmummy]

Thanks Teena and Chels for sharing makes me feel better that some one else has posted.
:yelclap: Keep thoes stories coming. One of my fav sections in Pregnancy and Birth is the delivery stories:)

[mum2ethan]

Hi all here is my story: (sorry bit of a long one) I am 24 years old I had my DS when I was 22, my DP just turned 29 on Monday. We met thru friends (his ex is actually really good friend of mine) I have known DP for about 10 years but we have only been together for 7 of those. He already has a gorgeous son, who is 9, so I have known him his whole life. We are not married, no plans of it anytime soon, we have discussed it but that’s as far as it has gone. We just have a fair bit on our plate at the moment. We brought a house about 6 months ago (got a great price it was DP’s dads house) and DP just brought a business last month, so it is a bit scary and exciting in a way. I have lived in Darwin my whole life. Love it here. My parents moved to Cooktown, QLD when I was 21 and even tho is see them at least twice a year and talk to them nearly every day I miss them like crazy!!!

TTC#1: Well we weren’t trying and it came as a complete shock! I was always an “im never having kids I would rather animals” person haha well that has changed!! DP wasn’t really happy with the news because he had a 7 year old and thought he was “too old” for another baby… Well how I found out was my sister (she is 2 years older than me) was trying for baby #2 and we were taking a make up class and the smell of the make up was making her sick, well she found out she was pregnant, and told me she knew I was and to take a test (I just thought it was wishful thinking on her part) and I knew I was as well but was in denial I guess. So a week later I took the test and yes a BFP!! So my sister and I were 2 days apart in EDD. (I think I jinxed myself because I said the only way I would ever have a baby was if I were pregnant with my sister) HAHA so I was due on the 27h July 2006. We told the family at xmas time I wrapped a baby book up and opened it infront of everyone…

Pregnancy: Well everything went relatively smoothly I had MS up until 19 weeks, the last day of my MS was the day before I went on a 4 week holiday to Gold Coast (funny cos I booked the holiday about 4 months before finding out I was pregnant so had heaps planned like sky diving, swimming with Dolphins etc…) so I couldn’t do any of that. Had a great relaxing holiday and came back all refreshed. We didn’t want to find out the sex of the baby we wanted it to be a surprise even tho I knew it was a boy. Towards the end of the pregnancy I started to get high blood pressure so they were keeping an eye on that. My mum and younger brother came up for the births of my sisters and my bub. My mum and DP were going to be there for the birth. A few days before going into labour I got a few BH, we had a big bet going about who will have the baby first, who will have a boy or girl. Just a bit of fun!

Labour: Well I was 2 days overdue (still actually enjoying being pregnant believe it or not) mum was making me drink prune juice, have sex, go walking, clean the cupboards out to try and bring it on. That morning she was going to wait til I have woken up and make me clean the bathroom… Well I woke up at 10am (I really miss those sleep ins lol) to find the dog was sleeping next to me, mum said she had let him in because he was at the door whinging and carrying on. So I got up went to the toilet and saw I had my show, about half an hour after that I started getting period type pains. So she gets me to take the dog for a walk around the park that’s behind our house. The whole day the dog was by my side and wouldn’t leave me alone, mum was saying he can sense something was happening. Towards lunchtime it was starting to get a bit more intense but I could still walk thru them and not have to stop what I was doing so mum was saying its not that bad. So we went to my sisters place as she has solar hot water and would last longer then 10 minutes!! I went into the shower at about 2pm, and my sister called DP who was at work to let him know that I was in labour, he then said to her (I think he was pretty scared only thing I can think of) cant she wait until ive finished work at 4:30?? When she told me that I called him back and said stay at work doesn’t look like it will be happening anytime soon… We called the hospital and they said to come in when I want, even if its just to check me so mum took me there at 4pm I was 3cm so they said I can stay if I want of go home so I went home (about 25 minutes away) We decided to stop at the shops and get something to eat, then the contractions started getting a bit serious I had to stop what I was doing to breath thru them (the poor ppl in the shop the look on their faces!! Lol) Made it back to my sisters shower, she brought a chair in and mum was rubbing my back when I moved and the noise from the water and a plastic chair sounds like the funniest fart LOL so I started cracking up laughing saying it wasn’t me it was the chair, mum is cracking up, mean while im having contractions and laughing (soooooo painful but couldn’t help but laugh) my sister comes in because she can hear us cracking up asking whats going on which makes us laugh even more… mum had to walk out we were laughing so much. When we had calmed down she came back in and as soon as I saw her I started laughing again, she was trying to stifle her laughter which made it worse! She couldn’t believe I was laughing thru contractions. It was really painful!!!!! Well it was about 5pm and no sign of DP so we called him and he was at a friends house (I didn’t get mad as I was trying to concerntrate on what I was doing and trying to keep everything happy and calm) so I was like im in labour where are you?? He said he will be here soon he was on his way (I really think he was very scared) 7pm no DP call him again he is at his parents place… ahhhhhhhh trying not to get mad!!! By then things were starting to really heat up. Finally DP turns up at 7:30pm mum is asking if I want to go to the hospital I kept saying no im fine here, so they had dinner a stew, I didn’t feel like eating but mum made me eat some toast. 9pm, its almost unbearable mum is like ok we are going to the hospital, im saying no I don’t want to go yet but she takes me to the car and I tell DP to go home on the way to feed the dog! So we make a quick stop and he feeds the dog, driving to the hospital with all those bumps! Gee painful! I keep telling DP to stop speeding, mums telling him to hurry up! Lol get there and im 6cm went to go into the shower when they said they will break my waters. So they did and bub had done a poo inside, so I was hooked up to monitors and not allowed to go into the shower (so not what I wanted, I wanted to be active and walking around)they got the gas for me and hot water bottles because after they broke my waters the pain was unbelievable!!!! Then they asked if I wanted pethidine, I said yes! So after about half an hour I was back into a rhythm and going well. DP said he actually thought I was sleeping because I looked so peaceful. At about 12:00am I remember hearing in the background what sounded like bubs heart rate slowing (I thought I was just really high and hearing things) next thing I know there are about 5 drs and midwives in the room saying he is in distress and might need an emergency c/s if things don’t progress in half an hour. I was also starting to get high BP and temp, I then started getting the urge to push midsaid to try and hold off and if I cant then to let her know. Then all the drs and midwives were back in the room checking to see if I was 10cm and I remember looking at the monitor and seeing it was turned off and the midwife quickly switched it back on to show the dr and bubs heart rate was just over 20bpm!!! So they told me to push NOW even if I didn’t feel like it (the look on mum,DP’s face just said it all and I was trying not to freak out) they were just standing there not knowing what was going on or what to do! The drs got the ventouse out and DS was born 30 july @ 12:49.He was 9lbs 4oz, 57cms long, hc of 35cm. I ended up with a 3rd degree tear that I went into surgery for I only held DS for 1 minute before they took him to the special care nursery and me up to surgery. Meanwhile as they were wheeling me out some freaky looking guy was walking down the hall with a security guard behind him calling for backup, they guy had this creepy look in his eyes like he wasn’t all there IYKWIM. And he walks straight into the room I had just given birth in! mum and DP were still in there and the security guard was saying don’t touch him, or talk to him he will snap, so mum and DP left and followed where they took DS, but I keep thinking what if they hadn’t gotten DS out when they did and that guy walked in when I was half way thru giving birth?? It freaks me out to even think about it. DP said it looked like a war zone in that room!! Well surgery lasted 2 hours got into my room at 3:30am didn’t get to see DS until 6:30am, stayed in hospital for 3 days,

After: I had no troubles breastfeeding, fed him until he was 14 months, I still have problems with my tear and my bowel movements, which is making me want to have a c/s this time around. We had only been TTC this time for 3 months and hoping we don’t have as much trouble as the last one!!
Thanks for reading (if you made it this far as it is pretty long lol)
Oh and for those wondering about my sister she had her little girl 11 days later.

[Shera]

Farmummy, you are so brave. I'm sure that everything will work out well for you and Alana in the future, at least you know she's happy & well. I am so sorry for your loss of Jack. :hugs:

My story thus far is really boring so I'd advise against reading unless you are suffering from insomnia.

I had a fantastic (but sheltered) childhood in a semi rural town, dad was the local dentist & mum was a SAHM & fabulous cook! I have very fond memories of getting off the school bus & walking up our long she oak lined driveway & getting a scent of delicious home baked treats waiting for us. My siblings & I hardly ever stayed indoors or watched tv, the exception was Secret Valley & Monkey, or when we had permission to put on records & dance around the lounge to Abba. We were always outside playing games, riding our horses, swimming, riding bikes & giving concerts to our (must've been) hard of hearing relatives & friends.

Anyway, after leaving school at 17 & after having lived in such a sheltered little bubble, the real world was a shock for me - I had never even kissed a boy till I turned 18. How things soon changed - My mum was furious with me for not attending Uni as it had been expected. So I moved to Brisbane to live with my Grandma & got a job in a pharmacy. I soon met a young man (18) & we began a relationship soon after, I fell pregnant at 19 & it was a total surprise as I had only been intimate with my boyfriend a few times & we had been very careful - I was a virgin before I met him & now I was pregnant.

My mum was furious & terribly disappointed in me as was my grandma - they had high hopes for me & saw having a child so young as being detrimental to future success. My dad's parents who were strict catholics were supportive of me however & so was dad. However, my daughter's father was overwhelmed by the responsibility & found it really tough (I can't blame him as he was only 19 too). I was told to have an abortion by several people, but for me this was not an option, I would keep my baby & 13 yrs later I have NEVER regretted my decision to have her.

I knew I was having a girl from the time I found out & had a relatively easy pregnancy, I only gained 9 kg, had minimal morning (night) sickness & was fit & active all the way through & worked till I was 36 weeks.
Labour was a different story! I had a long painful labour with my DD (26 hrs all up) & 1 1/2 hrs of pushing she was posterior until transition & then miraculously turned, I felt like I was ripping in half when I had to push & screamed my head off (I have a really loud scream & low pain threshold) - the poor midwife! The midwife was incredible, she got me through the labour even when my uterus stopped working because I was exhausted. I managed with only the gas for 10 minutes & only minor lacerations & grazing. Nikita was born weighing 7lb 11 1/2 oz or 3.2 kg in Beaudesert hospital, 6 days past the EDD, she was a beautiful little baby, but very demanding. I walked out of the hospital 3 days later wearing the jeans I wore before I fell pregnant. I breastfed for 6 mths until I was hospitalised for severe mastitis - I nearly died. Nikita fought the bottle big time but eventually took to it - 3 years later she had trouble parting with it! I had suffered severe PND up until DD was 6 mths, I felt like I was going insane at times, I started to hear her crying even when she wasn't & walked around in a sleep deprived daze Nikita NEVER seemed to sleep for longer than 15 minutes at a time, I was terrified of picking her up & carrying her around (she seemed so fragile), thank heavens I lived with my parents who were so supportive, especially my dad.

My relationship with Nikita's father had deteriorated to the point where I had to end it, he had been unfaithful several times & he was proving himself to be a poor role model as a dad. Nikita was 8 mths when our relationship officially ended.

On New Years Eve of 1995, my parents house burnt down - I had been staying in Brisbane with my Grandma & Nikita. On New Years Day we found out. I was initially devastated as EVERYTHING we owned, bar a few items of clothing I had at Grandma's was gone. I didn't care about the clothes, furniture & material goods, but it was horrible to lose our treasured photos & home videos, yet no one was injured or killed so we were really very lucky.

I moved to back to Brisbane to commence work and study (mum finally got her wish for me to go to uni). I lived with Grandma again & next door to my aunt who also had a daughter only 1 mth younger than Nikita. My aunt & Grandma baby sat for me, I was very fortunate as DD never had to go into childcare.

I was 21 & had no interest in relationships with men, I was happy to be a single working/studying mum as far as I was concerned meeting a man was not a priority. However, when I least expected it, I met an interesting man when I was out with friends one evening - I say interesting because I had never met anyone like him before! He was 26, unusually good looking, incredibly intelligent, sensitive & funny. I only saw him as a friend at first but within 4mths of contact with, I couldn't imagine my life without him in it - I was madly in love & thankfully he felt the same. He was great with DD who was 2 when we met & he also has a lovely daughter from a previous relationship, so our daughter's have grown up together & have always been close - they are now great mates (they rarely argue!).

Yet, when I was 27 & had been seeing my DP for 6 yrs, I fell pregnant unexpectedly again (using precautions & once again I knew I what sex I was having), we had discussed having children together & decided it would be best till I had finished all of my studies in a couple of years, but DS had other ideas! DP was upset & angry as he felt he wasn't ready to be a dad, he then left me & I had no contact with him until he rang me in my 34th week.

I felt so betrayed, I had trusted this man for 6 yrs & he walked out on me, DD & our unborn baby. I started to think that my original feelings about his character were severely flawed, how could I ever trust another human being if the one I had complete faith in, could do this to me? I did learn to trust again though. When DP came back, he was so upset & apologetic, I eventually trusted him again but only after seeing how wonderful he was with our DS & how much he wanted to help me.

I was really depressed throughout my DS's pregnancy, I cried every day, struggled to get out of bed & suffered bad 'night' sickness. Nikita was so sweet though & I feel guilty about not being there enough for her, she was always hugging me & telling me that she loved me.

I was ravenous most of the time in my 2nd & 3rd trimesters & craved foods like white bread, chicken & gravy rolls, chocolate milkshakes, ice cream & sara lee chocolate cake & pecan pie. I put on 22kg & suffered terrible back & pelvic pain at the end of the pregnancy, I couldn't sit down for more than 10 minutes at a time. I was drinking raspberry leaf tea 3 times a day which gave me strong braxton hicks contractions & by 39 weeks I was ready to have Dante.

I went to the Mater public to give birth after seeing a private ob for most of the pregnancy. I ended up at the hospital when I was only 4cm dilated, but had to have an emergency c section due to foetal distress & poor positioning of Dante. Dante weighed 8lb 2oz (3.3kg's I think). The staff at the Mater were exceptional, but the after care was apalling. There were never enough midwives on the ward & they were so rushed. My catheter bag overflowed a couple of times & even after pressing the buzzer 3 times, someone only came after 20 minutes. The bathroom was filthy (blood on the floor) & I had no support getting to the bathroom even though I nearly passed out from the pain every time I stood up & walked. I couldn't wait to get out of there & left after 3 days. However, I would go back because the staff were wonderful, but only if I went private.

5 years on & I'm still studying! (doing a masters now). My DP now says that having Dante was the best decision I have ever made & we are now engaged & getting married in Tuscany next July. The best present we received was the news that I am pregnant with baby no 3 - another surprise! But a very welcome one. I am going to a public hospital again even after my bad experience because I have a much better chance of a successful VBAC under the care of midwives.

DF- 37
Me- 32
DD - 13
DSD- 11
DS- 5
EDD - 5/10/08

[PrincessT]

Shera - what a great story. You should be really proud of yourself. Being a single mum would be so difficult but you were young also with little support from the father.
I hope you get the VBAC you want. Midwives are usually supportive so you are in good hands.

[happyhips]

Hi everyone, thank you for sharing your stories. It's interesting reading peoples different experiences and very inspirational, particularly yours farmmummy.

My story-
After one particularly bad long-term relationship I hit the jackpot with my DH when I was 24. We had know each other for about 10 years. I'd always thought he was gorgeous but up himself so wasn't interested in him until I moved into a share house that he was living in. It blossomed from there and we married in 2004. I fell pregnant after about 3 months of trying. Couldn't quite believe it.
Pregnancy went smoothly. We found out we were having a boy at 18 wks so were very excited and couldn't wait to meet him.

The birth - I was a beast. I'd put on 19 kilos and was soooo ready to get the baby out. I'd been booked in to be induced as my bp was getting a bit high but ended up going naturally 4 days past my due date.
I had to go into the Mater that morning to get monitered as a precaution but at lunch time they gave me the all clear. I rang my friend up and she invited me over for dinner that night. Everything was going smoothly until we sat down to eat. I was feeling cranky and really really constipated. I even announced to the whole table that I was constipated and kept going to the toilet to try to do a poo. After a while of that the period pains started. We thought that maybe something was happening and decided to go home. By this time it was about 10pm. DH put a watch to see if there was any consistency to the pains and they were smack bang 5 minutes apart. He panicked and rang the hospital but they said coz it was my 1st baby it was probably ages away. I didn't notice any mucus plug or anything by the way. By 1am the contractions really started to kick in & the pains were 2 min apart. We rang the hospital again and they told us to come in but it would only be for pain relief. I couldn't believe it as thought should go to hospital at 5 min apart. Anyway, we got there, scribbled some mess @ admin and got put straight into a delivery room. I was already 6 cms dilated and it was happening fast. I ordered an epidural straight away however had to wait a good hour or so for 1. I can remember being in the shower and zoning out when a contraction came. I finally got my epidural and lay in the bed feeling such relief. The midwife went to examine me and my waters poped and gushed onto her shirt. She was so lovely she just laughed and put on an apron. Unfortunately the water was full of meconium and the babys heart beat was showing distress. I was 10cms dilated and ready to push. Pushing was quite hard as I couldn't feel what I was doing but they got a mirror so I could see his head crown. It was at this point that his HR really slowed and they told me I have to get this baby out NOW!! It seemed that he was a bit stuck and as they were reaching for the knife to give me an episiotomy I felt his head move and I pushed really hard and his head popped out. He had the cord wrapped around his neck twice (1 of my birth fears) but they were able to pop it over his head without too much trouble. The rest of his body slid out @ 3.40am and they took him away to suction etc.... They told me he was still in a bit of distress and had to take him straight to the special care nursery. I held him for about 10 seconds. I just couldn't believe that I'd just had a baby was lying in the delivery room all by myself. It was like it never happened. I had some tearing which they stitched up but nothing too major. I was wheeled in to see my baby. It was heartbreaking to see your new baby hooked up to a drip.

Afterwards - I got Jasper back at about 7pm that night. It was nice to finally have my baby with me. I stayed in hospital for 2 nights. I didn't find breastfeeding 2 hard but adjusting to being a parent and just the overwhelming feelings of being a mum to a tiny baby were slightly difficult for me. I'm not great with change and I don't think change gets much bigger than having a baby. After a few weeks I settled in to it a bit more and felt kind of in control. I ended up breastfeeding Jasper till he was 14 months. He would still be going if it was up to him.

Thanks for reading. Can't wait to read some more myself.

:flowerz:

[~*clairesmum*~]

me n scott meet through a friend that iw as living with at the time, we started going out in feb 05, got preggers in dec 05, turned 18 in aug had claire in sep06,

preg: it was alrite had ms which was throwing up everytime i cleaned my teeth, at about 6mths preggers got bronkitis(sp) went 4wheel driving lol it was fun, at the 28wk blood test i found out i had really low iron which i clicked onto y i was still so tried nothing besides that went wrong

labour: by the time i was 6days over i had enough so i went to my 41wk app to get a induced date, plus cause scotts family was going out on saturday the 23rd, the date was 22nd i went in at 4pm, did an internal n i was 1cm, they gave me first lot of gel scott left at about 8am n nothing was happen besides i was in heaps of pain no stoping etc.... at about 9pm they gave me panadol n sleeping tablets as i wasnt going to hvae bub anytime soon, well at about 10pm i called nurse again, as i wanted to no wat the hell was happen, they gave me 1/4th of peth which stoped the pain but now i could feel the contractions, which were 2mins apart, i was 4cm so they count from now onwards as labour,

i called scott n his mate dropped him off as he had no licence at the time, they both cam in n his mate mel started writing my contrations, well scott was helping me get through them i was still in my room at about 12am i called my mum so she could come up n scott call his mum n seh said call me when shes pushing, they were leaving for there trip at 7am that morning,

well mum came up scott n mel went for a smoke me n mum went for a walk i didnt get far when i wanted to push scott n mel just got back in time n they put me in the labour ward, i went into the scot called his mum at about 230am, scotts mum came up n i went into the shower i was pushing for an hrn nothing i tryed gas but didnt like it, after an hr they got the doc in n i was out onto the bed, they found out i had an inverted cervix that is y claire wasnt comeing out the doc put her hands up n with one push claires head was out, mind u the

sleeping tablets they gave me started to work so i fell a sleep plus my contrations stoped well i couldnt feel them anymore, anywho i push her out n at 4:40am on the 23rd of sep 06 claire carolyn was born at 36.5cm head, 51cm long n 4140g(9pd3) 2 small stiches n some swelling

afterwards: breast feeding went really well for the first wk then i got cracked nipples etc... was going to give up but claire had another story my nipples cleared up when we went to buy her formulla n at 8mths she went down to 1 feed n shes 18mths on easter sunday n shes having her last breat feed then:(

[Shera]

Yes, thank you everyone for sharing, it's so great to hear about different life & birth experiences.
Thank you also Teena for your kind supportive words. I loved that you had a positive c section experience.

Emily - 32
DF - 37
DD - 13
DSD - 11
DS - 5
EDD - 5/10/08