Toddler won't stay in bed!

[Drags21]

:mad: My 2.5 yr old toddler has been in a big bed since Feb this year and after some hard nights was going to bed, staying in bed and sleeping through the night. For the past 3 weeks after putting him to bed at 7:30pm he gets out of bed at least 10 times a night and not getting to sleep until 10pm. I have tried putting him to bed earlier, but that hasn't worked. I have tried the Supernanny technique and that hasn't worked. The last couple of nights after the third time of getting out of bed, I told him that I would shut the door and turn the light if he got out of bed. Sure enough he got out of bed so I turned the light off and shut the door. Naturally he went off, I bawled. But after a minute I went back into his room and he jumped into bed and didn't get out. I was hoping that someone would have a better idea than my last one as I think this was is going to make him scared of the dark, and it's horrible. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance! :o

[Rell]

My daughter is usualy pritty good at going to bed but when she plays up we first go in and warn her then we take something away from.eg a teddy, pillow or light. She has a small night light aswell so she isn't in the dark. If she is quiet for 5 min she has the item back. nine times out of ten she is fast asleep when we go back in. The key to whatever method you choose is to be consistant as soon as you give in one night its like starting all over again. The other thing to consider is the bed time routine. We sit in bed and read a book to our daughter then give her three books on her bedside table for her to "read". She looks at the books until she falls off to sleep, often with a book still in her hands. This is what works for us, it may or may not work for you and your child. Also are they still having a daytime sleep. If yes you might have to look at how long they are sleeping or even cutting this out altogether. My sister had to do this when her 2 year would not go to sleep until about 10pm each night. I hope you get something out of what has worked for us and you have your son in bed sleeping well every night. :)

[Lee75]

We had a similar problem with our toddler only she is still in the cot...Yes she would climb out over and over and over...It sent us mental!!!!
I called Tizzie from save our sleep (we were already registered with her for her help) because it was really odd that my daughter was doing this - she was really good at bed time and sleep time in general, and this just came out of the blue.

To cut a long story short we tried a few different things before the final strategy worked.... My daughter was too young for the "lights out/door shut strategy" and we ended up standing by the cot and just consistently laying her down each time she stood up. We did have a chat to her before bed as to what our expectations were too...

We found (and you may too) that something in particular set Ashleigh off. In our case it was that we had loosened her boundries throughout the day- so we needed to tighten them a bit and be quite consistent.

I think the most important thing was that we needed to be consistant...

I know Tizzie has an article on staying in bed and if you send a PM to me I'll send you her website details...

Best of luck

Leanne

[Laurasmum]

Hi All especially Drags21.

This is the first time I've used this site so please bear with me.

I was very interested to read your comments on putting your 2.5 year old into a big bed, and we are experiencing the same problems with our 2.5year old now. We put our little one into a big bed 3 weeks ago, ever since then I've probably slept an average 2/3 hours a night, so I'm prety exhausted to be honest!

The usual routine now is bed at 7pm after bath, milk, stories etc then a battle for 2 hour's+ to get her off to sleep the first time. Its then a average of 3/4 times a night of waking and coming to find us all upset.

We've pretty much exhausted all theories ie. gradually leaving the room over a couple of nights, sleeping with her till she falls to sleep and we're currently trying the 'telling her we're leaving the room before she falls asleep so she can learn to fall asleep on her own' technique. This one only seems to work then shes cried and screamed so much shes so exhausted she eventally agrees to to let us leave the room. We tried closing the door and of course she went crazy and it was horrible, so we are forced to keep the door open now with a night light on.

There seems to be two schools of thought on this subject either have them with you in your room in your bed or on a seperate mattress or continue with trying to convince them to stay in their own 'lovely, cosy, wonderful' bed (which is what we have decided to do, as basically mummy and daddy want a life too!)
So I just wondered how long it took you to get your little one eventaully settled and if anyone could offer any tips

Yours hopefully !

[Kirstlea]

Hi Drags21

My daughter is also 2.5 she has been in a big bed since April last year and its been great until recently.

We tell her its time for bed and she says no and tries to hide. So what we have been doing is telling her when the big hand on the clock gets to the top (or bottom) she has to go to bed so make the most of play time. This usually works.

She also used to have a night light but we recently realised that it makes shadows on the walls that scared her, she is now much happier without a light.

Who would have thought. Anyway maybe thats the problem as to why he doesn't want to go to sleep.

They are so complex

The last resort is in a stern voice "go to sleep now or there will be trouble". This ALWAYS works.:rolleyes:

Haven't had to explain what kind of trouble there will be yet, which is great cause I don't have an answer. hehehe.

Something else that might help for the future new mothers (babies) we have always shut Pagies bedroom door when she goes to bed, even during the day. When we go to bed at night we always opened her door. This has always been the routine since she went into her own room at 8 weeks.

We are pretty lucky really, she does ok.

Good luck

Kirsten

[Chickadee]

Here's our story. I have no advice but at least you'll know you're not alone. My daughter moved into her big bed soon after her 2nd birthday at the end of november. I started a thread on it somewhere.

We've had nothing but trouble. When she was still in her cot her bedtime routine was to have a few books read to her and then into her cot, leave some books and a bear with her, turn off the light and shut the door. She would rarely fuss and would amuse herself quietly till she fell asleep. She was an angel at bedtime.

Since she has started in her big bed she constantly gets up again, taking up to 4 hours to actually exhaust herself and fall asleep. We have tried:

- co sleeping in her bed: she plays.
- co sleeping in our bed: she plays.
- leaving her books to read (anywhere from 2 to 20): she reads them and then gets back out of bed.
- consistently putting her back in with minimum eye contact and no talking. She just gets back out as soon as I leave the room. Repeat for 2 hours.
- telling her forcefully to stay in bed: worked once and never again.
- shutting the door: screaming
- leaving the door open: she plays and then comes back out to the lounge. Repeat for 2 hours.
- earlier bedtime: she plays/gets up till 10 or 11pm. One night it was 1 am I think
- later bedtime: this at least saves us 2 hours of putting her back to bed every few minutes, but doesn't get her enough sleep.
- being really active in the afternoon to tire her out (she no longer naps either): made no difference at bedtime
- a nightlight: she likes it, it lets her see to play :rolleyes:
- sitting in the doorway of her room with no eye contact: this sort of works. She doesn't get out of bed but does keep checking that I'm still there (and will scream if I leave). So I wind up sitting there for up to an hour.

Sometimes we find something that works one night, and then the next it won't at all. I know consistency is important but it seems to make no difference. Maybe one of the above will work for you. We haven't tried CC but that may be the next (& last?) option.

So

[loopi1]

The last week or so I have been experiencing the "Toddler won't stay in bed" routine. My son is 2 next month (Feb) and is still in a cot but he climbs out of it and is able to open the door. He has always slept with the door closed and light off and has been a very good sleeper up until recently since he learned to open the door. Last night was the worst he was still up running around when I went to bed at 11pm, I put him to bed within min he was in mine, he tossed and turned, played and giggled and just annoyed me. By 4am I put him back into his bed but again within mins he was back in mine. Tonight it's almost 9 and it's happening all over again, I have resorted to tying 2 doors together so he can not open it to get out and letting him cry. I too am upset at this resort as I don't want him to be affraid of the dark or worry I am not there. There just seems to be nothing I can do to keep him in bed. I have stopped afternoon naps (if he does go down it's only for 1 1/2) but this doesn't seem to work. I've done the harsh voice, I've done the reading and other kinds of discipline but nothing seems to work. I've only had a week of this and it seems to be getting worse and I'm at my wits end. I 'm a single mum and I'm tired. Please tell they grow out of it, can someone please tell me it gets better all I need is to be patient. How long does it take?

[Laurasmum]

Hi Loopi 1
Trust me, I know exactly what your going through. We are resorted to putting a safety gate up at our daughters bedroom door. She still does the mad dash to get out after I finish story time (even after 6 weeks) but we close the gate door and tell her that we will sit outside the gate near her, ONLY IF she gets back on her bed. If she gets up then we will go out into the living room. This normally lasts for about an hour, but she seems abit calmer and not quite as upset as when we shut the door. It also gives you a bit of a breather - get a book or a magazine while you sat there. Shes still getting up in the night in cycles 11pm, 2am and 5am. We currently have to take her back to her room and sit with her until she falls asleep again. We probably have to address this soon - not sure how though! She was such a fantastic sleeper before moving to a bed - 7pm till 7am. If we have anymore kids we will be leaving them in the cot for as long as possible!
Good luck with it all and keep up posted on your progress.
laurasmum

[Drags21]

Hi All,

Just thought I would update you on how we are going with our 3yr old and staying in bed.

We came back from a week down the coast and I didn't really worry too much about where he slept and when. I figure there is no point in fighting him in a different environment.

The day we got back I decided to enforce the bed time routine (dinner, bath, quiet play then bed.). The first night he got up out of bed about 10 times. I kept putting him back to bed and telling him that "it's bed time and he needs to stay in bed". Surprisingly I was quite calm for the whole 1 hour and 45 mins it took before he cried himself to sleep. The next night we went out for dinner to a friends house and he didn't go to bed until about 9:30pm. He only got out of bed twice, but knowing that everyone was going to sleep helped. The third night he only got out of bed twice with a bit of resistance. Each night has been getting better. Yesterday I decided to introduce a sleep chart with 4 blank boxes on it and a picture of spiderman after the last box. I told him that if he ate his dinner, brushed his teeth and stayed in bed then he would get a star to put in the blank box. Once all four boxes had stars in them then he can buy a spiderman toy at the shops. Once that row is filled then i will change the "prize' so to speak to a day at the park, pool, visit friends or have friends over...etc. The reason I decided on the sleep chart was to try and make bedtime fun. At the moment it's not all that pleasant. I don't want to fight him to go to bed or get cranky with him, but I know that he can go to bed and stay in bed because he has been doing it pretty much for a year now.

I will let you know how long it takes to fill the four boxes up. I am anticipating that it should take 4 sleeps....! :o Last night went pretty well. Riley was in bed and asleep by 7:30pm as asposed to 9, 10pm. So tonight I have fingers crossed.

If you would like a copy of Riley's sleep chart as a guide I am more than happy to email it to you.

Cheers

Martine

[our little treasures]

I didnt use this but a friend of mine uses a porta cot!! She has it set up and has told her daughter you get out of bed you go in the porta cot!! It worked after one go!!

[pupmem]

Hi all
This is my first time here and have found some great ideas.
Our son is just over two and has been moved into a big bed after climbing out and falling off the top of his cot,we have had dramas getting him to stay in his bed.Everyone just told us that when he comes out pick him up make no eye contact and put him back to bed.
We did this and my wife counted how many times we did it...............86 times and he still continued to get out crying.So that doesnt work for us, he has been a good sleeper until now,always with lights off and door closed,
we are going to try the saftey gate on the door in a couple of nights when we dont have to get up for work.My wife is working tomorrow night so its me and the little guy at home , should be interesting!!!
Any suggestions???????? will keep you updated
.......Brendan

[karla191]

OMG.... I have exactly the same problem with my 2 1/2 yr old. It sounds like ur talking about my son! He just won't give in! I think my only hope is to call in a sleep whisperer haha...

[qtkiwi]

Lol, things never change - this thread is very old but it is exactly what I am gong through with Mr 2...night 4 and the no emotion back to bed thing just aint cutting it. I too, have tied the door handles together, dont have the energy for a marathon tonight!