That's it, I have had enough!!!

[Butterfliez]

I am so angry right now!!!!!!!:mad: I have had enough of my family and my in-laws - the whole lot of them! :hair: Ever since DD was born, I am expected to take her to see everyone (and if I don't they complain that they haven't seen her for ages) I don't even come into the equasion anymore :gloomy: because it is all about DD (I know it should be, but I feel like I have been left high and dry) I am supposed to go and see one family member tomorrow, and the other is upset now that I am not going there as well. I said that I can't go and see both in one day because I will be rushing between sleeps and feeds. If I go and see both DD won't have her afternoon sleep and then I will have to put up with a tired, cranky baby afterwards. I don't do anything that puts DD out of her routine, because it messes everything up and I will have hell to pay for afterwards (plus I think it is really unfair on DD) But no one cares about any of that! As long as they get to see her, that is all that matters :rolleyes: So now I have the guilt trip that I should be going to see both tomorrow, and I am mad!!!

Last weekend, my MIL let DD touch a drinking glass (yes it was glass), when DH and I repeatedly told her not to give it to her as it was dangerous, she kept arguing and gave it to her anyway. I was furious, that if I said something, she kept doing it anyway with no regard for me.

I just want to go and live in another country and raise my child the way I want to without any interference from anyone!!!!

Thank you for letting me get this off my chest.

[OJandMe]

Why do YOU have to take bub to them???

Tell them to come visit you at a time which suits YOU.

No way do I shuttle my kids all over the city..

If people want to see them, they can damn well get off their behinds and come see US.

[our little treasures]

We have to go and see the inlaws and my family as well or we would be lucky to see them once a year.

Inlaws are visiting a little bit now and I think they may have just wanted me to ask them because when I do they do come.

I feel for you because it is hard at times, my children use to run around at the inlaws and I kept them away for a few months. Not once did they see their grandparents during that time:thumbsdown:

[Butterfliez]

[QUOTE=OJandMe;2440553]Why do YOU have to take bub to them??? QUOTE]

They do come here, but it's like if they come here, then it's my turn next. They all live at least 30 mins away from here, so that's an hours travelling all up. DD is usually up for 3 hours then needs a sleep, so to try and get feeds and sleeps in is stressful, and I refuse to make her suffer just because of frivolous socialising :hissy: They all had kids, so why can't they be understanding of what it is like???

[ealing]

Hi,

It is hard to please everyone and it can be very wearing on you also if you have to transport a little one in and out of a car for a visit. It is harder when they are smaller as there are more things to bring like bottles, food, nappies etc....and it takes a bit of organising as well as co-ordinating it with your routine.


I had my in-laws getting upset with Dh and I for not bring DD around to visit every single person they knew, but we figured that we don't care who we offend, if they want to see DD badly enough they can call us and arrange a time which would suit us, of courrse, no-one really called us to see us.

I often feel that I am invisible, everyone asks how everyone else is but me! No probs, I am JUST the mummy!


Anyhow, I guess my point is, prioritise your child and their routine. Accept that there will be sometimes that the routine will be out of whack for a day or so, just as long as it isn't on a frequent basis. I didn't see too many people in the first year as the routine kept changing and it was too hard to try to get back. I did this and did "offend" some people, but worked for me. I take DD out alot now she is older and can handle it more. as for those people that I "offended", not to worry, they were mostly my MIL's friends anyway!

[Lyglc]

It can be hard can't it. Sending you lots of :hugs:.

Try to get them to come to your place as much as possible, and maybe see if they can make it on the same day. If you stress that it's better on your daughter (since they don't seem to show much care for you) perhaps they will be more willing.

Maybe you could say everysecond Monday (or choose whatever day of the week works) they can all come to your house. And then perhaps the following week you can go to just one of their houses, but have everyone get together at their house. The next fortnight go to another house. Perhaps if you could work out something like that, or even take it in turns each week to go to a different house then at least you only have to go to one place per week. Hopefully they will be happy with this.

[Jadee]

I became a people pleaser too when DD1 was born, I just had to say no in the end if they want to see your beautiful girl tell them to come over, and if you don't want to go and see them tell them your busy. Life's too short to feel like you do you should be enjoying your bub and only thinking of your family now.

I found that when I went back to work a few days a week no one expected me to go and see them. But I had said no before then because I wasn't seeing the people I wanted to but the people I had to.

[J&C0508]

I know how you feel my "DH" complains that my kids dont see his parents enough and that my eldest doesnt love them as much as my mum cause he doesnt see then often enough, 'hello who looked after him while i went to work?' my mum! so of course he would have mre attention for her, though he still loves hi other nanny and poppy.
and anyway my mil says she cant come over cause she cant afford the fuel we live 10 min down the freeway. but she can go and see her two daughters and their kids when they prob live further away then we do. she cant afford the fuel but she can afford to buy new furniture for the 4 bed rooms in her house that dont get used, she has set up sewing room and library, she is not the queen mind you. dont need those rooms. Dont tell me that its sad that you dont see them, get in your car and come nd visit.

[J&C0508]

I know how you feel my "DH" complains that my kids dont see his parents enough and that my eldest doesnt love them as much as my mum cause he doesnt see then often enough, 'hello who looked after him while i went to work?' my mum! so of course he would have mre attention for her, though he still loves hi other nanny and poppy.
and anyway my mil says she cant come over cause she cant afford the fuel we live 10 min down the freeway. but she can go and see her two daughters and their kids when they prob live further away then we do. she cant afford the fuel but she can afford to buy new furniture for the 4 bed rooms in her house that dont get used, she has set up sewing room and library, she is not the queen mind you. dont need those rooms. Dont tell me that its sad that you dont see them, get in your car and come nd visit.

[J&C0508]

sorry guys i dont know what happened there but you got my post 2 times.