well if anyone can help me with this one plz?

[~*clairesmum*~]

well i was talking to MIL today about my wedding idea n she said do u want a wishing well or prezzies i said no so she said well instead of paying for anyone if everyone pays for them selves that can be there presant to us

so im asking if anyone can word that to go into a invite that would be great jst the part about paying for ur self as ur presnt to us

thanks for any ideas u have

[Femme la Phoenix]

First off Congratulations on your engagement:)
I've found a couple of statements that
may be enclosed seperately or placed
at the bottom of the invatation
anyway throw them around

***

In leui of presents
Purchasing your meal at our wedding breakfast
In honour of our marriage would be the most
Meaningful gift you could give us!
Thank you.

***

Your presence at our wedding is present enough!
But if we're honored with a gift from you,
may we respectfully request a gift of money
to help the dream of our new home come true!

[cocobambino]

we done this at our weddng also, and it was great and so much cheaper, saved us alot of money this is what we had written on our invo's

As we have all that we need, In lieu of gifts may we ask that guest's purchase their meals from our open menu plan

The all thought that was fantastic as it meant they could eat whatever they liked and spend as much or as little as they like..

we just paid for the bridal party's meal

My dad, step-dad and Bro-In-Law put money over the bar so they still got free beer wine and soft drink

[Jaileth]

we did this at our wedding too - even though we had about 40 guests, it saved us about $2000, and we made them pay for their acholic drinks as well, which apparently saved us another 2 grand.

[Craftymum]

we done this at our weddng also, and it was great and so much cheaper, saved us alot of money this is what we had written on our invo's

As we have all that we need, In lieu of gifts may we ask that guest's purchase their meals from our open menu plan

The all thought that was fantastic as it meant they could eat whatever they liked and spend as much or as little as they like..

we just paid for the bridal party's meal

My dad, step-dad and Bro-In-Law put money over the bar so they still got free beer wine and soft drink

I love the above idea.... personally I have been to a wedding before where there was a wishing well and myself and a few other guests just didnt feel comfortable in putting in money and would much rathered paid for our ticket or bought a present. If you can word it appropraitely I think paying for the meal would be a good option. I really like the option of people getting to choose thier meal too as nothing worse than paying for a meal that you dont eat/like/choose.
Goodluck with your wedding :smiliedance:

[~*clairesmum*~]

Thank you so much i didnt think it would be very popula but it seems it is lol, well my mum is writing the invites up so ill be giving her all ur ideas thanks again

[madcate]

Whilst I can understand the need to try and save money on a wedding (my god they are so expensive) I wouldn't ask your guests to pay for their own meal. I personally don't think its appropriate to do so at a wedding.

I would definitely go with the wishing well or a treasure chest option. Its very common at the moment to do this and there are stacks of poems and phrases on the net you can use on your invites.

Then you can use the money you've received from your guests to replace the money you used to pay for the reception food.

There are lots of other options apart from asking guests to pay for their own meal.

* you could go cocktail rather than sit down, this is often cheaper;
* you could hire a hall or a function venue that allows you to use your own caterers;
* having a buffet rather than served food is cheaper as well;
* A breakfast or lunch function would be cheaper than dinner;or
* What about a very classy served afternoon high tea? That would be great actually and a hell of a lot cheaper then a full on sit down served reception.

Good luck for your wedding whatever you decide to do

[missie_mack]

I like the paying for your own meal thing. I have found with others wishing wells that some people dont even cover the cost of their drinks or put nothing at all in. Its not that the money counts or anything but I find it a bit disrespectful that some people take advantage of the anonymous-ness of it all.

We had a pay for your own meal style engagement and used the money we would have spent on main meals to supply finger foods, a band, drinks on the tables. It also meant we could invite everyone we wanted instead of having to limit it due to financial restraints. It made for a better event for everyone instead of a very basic one.

I hope you find a nice phrase to suit the invite :)

[punkbaby]

I think that its a good idea paying for the meal too i wouldnt have a problem with it but i would if it was too expensive. Thats JMO though, we were invited to one wedding where it was $100 a head and well $200 to some wedding was alot of money for us as present wise, seeing we didnt really know them, we would have probably spent about $50 on them or would have rathered given them the $50 cash.

Depending on how much the prices are for the reception its a great idea, but just keep in mind if you are inviting a family, and if you are having kids there too then it can get quiet pricey for some :)

[QTB]

between our family and ty's DFs family there is about 80 -100 people...

so unless everyone pays for their own meal (where they are looking at is less than $30 a head) it will be just the wedding party and parents at the reception... so i think Ty is doing the right thing with no presents/pay for your own meal :)

[PunkyDiva]

Sorry no help with how to phrase it on invite but it is not a practise I agree with either. Almost like inviting someone to dinner then giving them a bill.
We had people travel a long way, so already personal cost for them to share "our" special day. $30 may not sound like much but times it by two or maybe more and it can get expensive for "your" guest maybe on top of other costs incurred because of "your" celebration.

[bubs_and_us]

we did this for our wedding last year.... i'll go grab the invite to give you the poem we used......

:detective: here it is

our home is quite complete now,
we've been together long,
so please consider our request,
and do not take us wrong.

a delicate request it is
we hope you understand
your presence is requested,
your presents are not
to pay for your meal and drinks
would certainly help us a lot.

ps.... all our guests commented on what a great idea it is to do this......

[tiggles]

I must be really old fashioned, lol, sorry, but if you are asking people to attend a wedding & reception you don't ask for money or for people to pay for their meals. JMO, if you cant afford to feed them then look at a cheaper reception alternatives, good suggestions re alternatives in a previous post.

I think asking for money is really tacky, IMO only, Im not saying this to offend anyone.

Congrats re getting married, BTW.

[zenifa]

Whilst I can understand the need to try and save money on a wedding (my god they are so expensive) I wouldn't ask your guests to pay for their own meal. I personally don't think its appropriate to do so at a wedding.

I would definitely go with the wishing well or a treasure chest option. Its very common at the moment to do this and there are stacks of poems and phrases on the net you can use on your invites.

Then you can use the money you've received from your guests to replace the money you used to pay for the reception food.

There are lots of other options apart from asking guests to pay for their own meal.

* you could go cocktail rather than sit down, this is often cheaper;
* you could hire a hall or a function venue that allows you to use your own caterers;
* having a buffet rather than served food is cheaper as well;
* A breakfast or lunch function would be cheaper than dinner;or
* What about a very classy served afternoon high tea? That would be great actually and a hell of a lot cheaper then a full on sit down served reception.

Good luck for your wedding whatever you decide to do

:iagree:
I don't think its appropriate to invite people and then either ask for money, a gift or get them to pay for their meal/drinks.
If you can't afford it, then look at other options - no sit down meal, just cocktails, finger food etc.


I must be really old fashioned, lol, sorry, but if you are asking people to attend a wedding & reception you don't ask for money or for people to pay for their meals. JMO, if you cant afford to feed them then look at a cheaper reception alternatives, good suggestions re alternatives in a previous post.

I think asking for money is really tacky, IMO only, Im not saying this to offend anyone.

Congrats re getting married, BTW.

:iagree:

However if you are going to do this then the below poem seems okay - though I would not be happy myself to receive it personally.


we did this for our wedding last year.... i'll go grab the invite to give you the poem we used......

:detective: here it is

our home is quite complete now,
we've been together long,
so please consider our request,
and do not take us wrong.

a delicate request it is
we hope you understand
your presence is requested,
your presents are not
to pay for your meal and drinks
would certainly help us a lot.

ps.... all our guests commented on what a great idea it is to do this......

As an aside, my auntie is getting married in two weeks time and its her 2nd and her fiance's 2nd marriage (she is 65 and he is 70, both were widowed), they both have grandkids and she great-grandkids. They have property, $$ and they still have asked for $$ in their wedding invite for a european trip. Its so rude, as its only a family wedding and everyone coming has small children and a big mortgage. No matter how cute the poem, it still has offended just about everyone!! Some are even considering boycotting the wedding, a shame as its meant to be a family celebration!!

[tiggles]

As an aside, my auntie is getting married in two weeks time and its her 2nd and her fiance's 2nd marriage (she is 65 and he is 70, both were widowed), they both have grandkids and she great-grandkids. They have property, $$ and they still have asked for $$ in their wedding invite for a european trip. Its so rude, as its only a family wedding and everyone coming has small children and a big mortgage. No matter how cute the poem, it still has offended just about everyone!! Some are even considering boycotting the wedding, a shame as its meant to be a family celebration!!

I agree, I think it is bad manners, if you don't need any gifts, let guests know not to bring presents. You will find most people will ask you what you would prefer as an alternative, then its polite to say "please contribute to your meal" etc.