7 months away...

[MilkOnTap]

Looks like hubbies ship is going on a world tour for 7 months :( He will be leaving in April next year for 30 weeks...

He asked me tonight what I thought about him going. He has the option to get off the trip. I was so tempted to say "no" - but this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. We will never be able to afford for him to see the world (every major port!) - maybe Europe, but not the entire world.

So I did the right thing and said yes. It broke my heart :gloomy:

It also means that we wont be TTC'ing now until he gets home in November 09 :crying:

But on the upside... Jedd and I are going to meet him somewhere (gawd knows where) - so that'll be cool :party:

[Pixie]

My god I would hate that, I guess if a opportunity is there you have to grab it!....Come to the UK Ally lol

[MilkOnTap]

My god I would hate that, I guess if a opportunity is there you have to grab it!....Come to the UK Ally lol

Would LOVE to come and see you! :yelclap:

[V8]

Oh Ally, that's sad. :hugs:

[RmumR]

Oh Ally you are such a lovely lady to let him go especially when he gave you the option of saying no,....very selfless.

[MilkOnTap]

Thanks for the hugs ladies...

Still a year away though so I dont have to worry just yet... *gulp*

[Shauna]

Hey Pinklady, chin up it isnt all that bad..have you ever had him go away for a long period like that before?
My DH went away to east timor for 7mths....... twice. Providing you have a great support network the time will fly by..and if you really want to if use are no where near family you could always go back home fr some of that time to be around those who know you...

Defence life can be hard, but i look at in the fact he was in the amy when i met him so what ever arises i will deal with..I know a lot of women who given the chance would say no if given the option...*snaps* for you :goodvibes: I also know a few guys that wouldnt even say they had an option....
He is very lucky to have you and vise versa..Keep us updated and we will all be here for you :hugs:

[borntobemummy]

I know a lot of women who given the chance would say no if given the option...*snaps* for you :goodvibes:
He is very lucky to have you and vise versa..Keep us updated and we will all be here for you :hugs:

:iagree::hugs::hugs: we'll be here for you and the J man:hugs:

[forbetoel]

You are one strong woman. I couldn't do it. :hugs: Hope the 7 months go by quickly.

[zera06]

my hubby is overseas for 6 months but has been on training 3 months prior to the 6 months and leaves in a couple of weeks

[samsgirls]

Hi PinkLady,

my heart goes out to you. You are indeed such a strong lady. My DH is away currently, but that is only for 6 weeks. The longest he has been away is about 3 months. That was Army, now he's Navy. I would do the same in your position. I do not think I could live very happily with myself if i did say no.

I know it is a fair way off, but the fact that he is going away won't get any easier to think about. :hugs::hugs::hugs: Your hubby is very fortunateto have such a lovely spouse.

[sockstealingpoltergeist]

To be honest I would say I disn't want him to go, if I really didn't or I would become resentful. I think when you are a parent and your priorities change you shouldn't go off and leave a child for 7 months, it is way to long a time. That just my opinion.

[ButterflyMama]

Wow. You are brave.
I couldn't do it.

[blessedmummy]

:hugs: Wow! you are brave and very strong woman! thats a big thing to do i say, :hugs: big hugs.

[MilkOnTap]

Hey Pinklady, chin up it isnt all that bad..have you ever had him go away for a long period like that before?

Yeah - he did a 6 month gulf trip from Mar-Sept 06. Jedd is a home-coming baby :goodvibes:


I think when you are a parent and your priorities change you shouldn't go off and leave a child for 7 months, it is way to long a time. That just my opinion.

If only it were that simple. If every married person on every ADF deployment used those same ideals - Australia would not be the [relatively] free country that it is today.

[DB&O]

My DH just returned from 7 months in the ME & I wont lie to you I found it bloody hard but as long you have support at home its not unbearable.
The hardest time for me was christmas which is always a big deal in our familys but having Liv & her needing me to be strong every day was my saving grace, I didn't have too much time to dwell on how much we missed him although it took a couple of days to get over talking to him when he was upset & missing us, in a way I think it was actually easier for us to be at home then for him to be away.
I think you are a strong person (from reading your posts/threads) & you will get through this well :yes:
Plus you have BH to help give you strength & support :yes:

Ciao,
Brooke.

[LittleBoysRock]

Your a great wife, putting DH ahead of yourself and Jedd. You will do great though and how exciting you get to go on a trip! :)

[MilkOnTap]

My DH just returned from 7 months in the ME & I wont lie to you I found it bloody hard but as long you have support at home its not unbearable.

Thanks Brooke - yeah I have done a 6 month stint when hubby when to the gulf (is yours Navy/Army?) but I didn't have Jedd then, so I went interstate to my family.

I'm hoping that keeping strong for Jedd will be what gets me through it... I'm sure it will. I dont have any family nearby - they're all interstate so maybe I'll try and get a few of them to come and visit intermittently throughout the 7 months.

I have a couple of friends who babysit Jedd too - so at least I know I can take a break at some point (plus he is in daycare one day a week which will definitely help too)

[InSaneOne]

i can understand. and you are doing the right thing by saying yes.

my dh has just been asked to go to NZ for a few weeks in april and i am due in 9 days. so i will have to look after our toddler and cope with a newborn on my own for 3 (or more) weeks. i am happy for him to go as he wouldn't have the opportunity for many more years (an overseas trip is out of our budget). and considering work would be paying him to stay there plus all his living expenses it might even help us save a bit of money up so the kids and i can go and see him for a weekend.

[2sweetgirls]

:hugs:I am really feeling for you

And I dont think saying NO would have been a really BAD thing, but I know that if i were to say no to my DH I would feel extremly bad as I met him in the army I married him while he was in the army so therfore I married into the army, sometimes I dispise it, but other times I just forget that thats where he works.


My DH was away for 7 months last year with the army, He left in the febuary and I was due with DD2 in the August. It was the hardest 7 months of my life,
Especially when DD2 finally arrived I Was so overwhelmed.


I was lucky though as My family where able to help out alot,
I have considered if we were to move north to say townsville and DH went overseas then I would probably move back to Brisbane for that length of time.. maybe you could do that?


Do you go to any mothers groups? I dont go to defence play groups, But maybe you would feel understood by them. I kept to myself and went to my mums alot.


Stay Strong and remember:


Absence makes the heart grow fonder:valentine:


:flowerz:Courtney

[DB&O]

Pink Lady; my DH is in the airforce & that was the longest trip away so far. It was really hard but having Liv really kept me going, she was best company.
You are strong you will get through this & you will do it well, you'll cope the best you can for Jedd.
I found I hated being at home it just didn't feel right without Dave, so I went out alot & was really social. You should try to get out at least once every few days even if its just taking Jedd to the park or library, otherwise I felt stale & alone, isolated even & you always have BH for support.

Ciao,
Brooke.

[Amira]

Pink Lady i think your extremely brave and selfless. Im sure looking back in a few years both of you will be glad that hubby took this opportunity. And the advantage of you bub being 9months old is if you need a break from home then you can pack your bags and go visiting relatives or friends to help pass the time. I found this was a great distraction for my daughter and i when hubby was sent away.

[tootiredtosleep]

It's very hard when they go away.. and there's no way that you can say "no". It's what they train for, it's their job, and, as my DH always says "The country comes first". (I'm sick of hearing it!)

Like most things with Defence, I try my best not to worry about it (impossible sometimes) until the day.. they change things so much.

[3princes]

I've been thinking about your post for a few days, i think you are extremely selfless and brave pink lady and i know it won't be easy for you. I think your hubby was great to give you the option to say no.I really hope he appreciates your sacrifice, as you deserve to see the world as well! Definatly catch with him at some ports.

Personally i would say no, as i would totally resent DH travelling the world while i stayed home looking after our children. I believe although his job to the country is important, we as he family should come first. An optional trip which allowed him to see the world shouldn't be as important as being there for me and our children. Our relationship is a partnership and i have made sacrifices as well to support him in his job. Oneday when our kids are older i will expect him to do the same for me in my career. As everyone knows its hard to sustain a career and a family when moving every few years.

In case you were wondering i am a Navy wife and my DH did go to the gulf, we didn't have him at home for 8 months due to his pre-training taking place on the other side of the country. We didn't have family support around and i didn't travel to my family... its harder when you have to consider school & pets. We survived and i didn't mind as i knew this was part of his job and i'm fairly independent and had some great friends around. Keeping busy was definatly the key and when they return its fantastic!!

[KJEmum]

I too am a Navy wife and love the lifestyle .. and DH is off on his 7mth trip this year in May. Although prior he's away for a month. Your DH is good in asking you cos my DH doesn't .. he just 'tells' me lol. I say cool with much envy. Me and the kids get to do the daily grind of school, playgroup and thinking about dinner each night oh yay.

Anyways as you are meeting up that'll be great but may be hard on your boy .. to see dad for a bit and then gone again. We couldn't meet up which was suggested by the CO and I said to DH 'yeh does he know we don't have a money tree and how much airfares cost plus boarding for cats and dog'. *sigh*. Would be nice to see Singapore.

We manage ..... if we were still in Darwin .. things would be fine as I had heaps of friends and lived on base but here in WA .. arrgh .. it's hard cos DCO don't do anything to bridge the gap.

Soldier on .. is all I do .lol