Offering Food to Someone elses's Child

[ladybug]

Hi ladies,

Last week, while my DD and I were waiting in line in a photographer's studio, there were two young girls in front us who were talking to one of the studio's stuff. Then just before they left the studio, one of the girls tried to give my DD a candy which was on the counter for customers.

I thanked the girl and told her that I don't give her any candies. She apologised, and I didn't say anything more because I thought that she was young and didn't think that she shouldn't have offer any food before asking my permission.

Has it happened to you before? I was very surprised because I don't offer any food to any child before asking their parents permission.

[~MUMMY~]

ALL the time... peole have always given my son stuff everything from money from strangers in a line , to bread rolls and doughnuts in bakery and even ice-creams when he's dressed in his best clothes.... LOL :o

It offends some people when you turn down a kind offer and if i dont want my son to have it i will take it from him later on... but really i dont see the problem.. ( ok money i do because i NEVER accept money from anyone and feel uncomfortable with my son being offerd it.) but it's like a kind deed and i will feel like spat in the face if someone turned down a kind thing that i was offering.

like really i dont care if he has a lollie or a doughnut now and again because he doesnt get them all the times anyways its a treat from a kind person.

[Rhoxie]

I NEVER offer food to a strangers child ! who knows what they are are allergic to and I don't want to be responsible for a poor child ending up in the hospital or having a bad reaction.

I would also prefer that people did not offer food to my children with out asking as
1. I don't like them eating unhealthy food
& 2. we have problems with certain food additives and I can't tell if the food has it without reading the packet.

[Ana Gram]

I never let DD accept food from strangers and I really don't care if they get offended. What ever happened to "not accepting candy from strangers"??

[red crayon]

this is something that gets right up my nose. yes, i think people should check with you first. firstly they don't know if your child has an allergy and secondly they should also check to see whether you are happy for your child to eat whatever it is they are offering. i'm forever taking lollies and chocolates out of spencer's hand when we got shopping. the shop assistants love giving him sweets. i try to be polite but it's annoying.

[razzle]

I never let Eloise accept any food from a stranger, candy or otherwise. And I'd never offer food to someone else's child without checking with the parent first, and certainly not to a complete stranger's child.

[shed]

I would normally say that I would check with the parents first before offering lollies to a child, but then I remembered that at our work function the other day I was carting around a 15 month old boy the whole time and fed him up on junk.

So I am a hypocrite! :o

When I have my son I would probably rather people asked me before offering him anything but I will certainly try to keep in mind that they are being nice, so I will try not to be too precious about it.

Although when I got my puppy I got snakey when my aunty gave her a piece of beef.

So its a difficult one really.

[littlepickle]

It amazes me that one one hand people are always coplaining that people arent as nice or polite these days ..hmmmm Well reading through these posts its no wonder really. I would graciously accept as long as I knew that what she was given was ok, if not, I would say thank you for the offer but we are trying not to eat... whatever. Its just so sad really that the world is full of suspicion and paranoia towards everyone. I know its necessary really, but it is still sad

[wattle]

I think its a matter of being cautious.

Times have changed alot recently too, older people don't realise how severe food allergies are, and they also don't have to put up with the after-effects of the sugar rush!

[2littleprincesses]

I think it's a dangerous thing to do with the high amounts of allergies and reactions these days. I also tell my DD not to talk to people we don't know, so why would she be allowed to take lollies/food from people we don't know.

[Notchalk]

while I certainly don't think it's rude to offer food to another person's child, it is not very responsible. Children don't have much idea about what they should and shouldn't eat - their parents are in charge of that. It's simple, just say to the parent, "Can he/she have a bickie, chocolate, whatever" and you have the option of replying, "Yes! Thankyou! or, No, thanks". Both responses thank the person for thinking of them, so they shouldn't get offended if someone doesn't accept their offer.

It *is* too dangerous to just give someone else's kid something to eat if you know nothing about them. My niece will die if she eats something with peanuts, or shellfish, and will be very sick if she eats anything with egg.http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/images/smilies/eek.gif She isn't the only one.

Another thing that gets my goat is FAMILY trying to secretly feed your kid stuff they're not supposed to have... but that's a whole 'nother post ;)

[ladybug]

Oh my did I say it is rude to effer food to a child? I don't think so. I think they didn't think that my DD might have an allergy, or I just don't want her to candy. I think some of you misunderstood me. :(


In addition to what I have written before, I've always thought that we won't be together forever. I think that I should teach my child not to accept anything from a stranger. Sometimes you can't trust people whom you have known well.

[KiLLaKaZ]

i always WANT to offer food to a child (lollies, etc) but know if the mother says 'no' it may end up with the child throwing a tantrum, so i don't.

i think ppl that do it don't even think of allergies - i know i wouldn't have till recently because i've never been exposed to that possibility!

but i agree that it's wise to politely refuse (& thank them for the offer) - u need to teach your children not to accept anything from a stranger!!

[Cinta]

I wouldn't let my child accept food from a stranger, the majority of people offering the food are just being nice but you never know, the world has changed a lot and they could put anything in the food. I think the person offering should ask the parents permission first because the child could be allergic to the food or not want the child to have it. The parent can thank the person offering they dont have to be rude, but politely say no thank you.
If we teach our children that its ok to accept food from a stranger then we are setting a bad example for when we are not around when the kids are a bit older, eg would they then think its ok to say yes to getting lollies if they went for a ride in the car with someone. You just cant be too careful these days. Sorry if any of that didnt make sense :o

[ChubStar]

My son has severe allergies and is too young to understand what he can and can't eat. I think it is completely inconsiderate of people to offer children food without asking the parent's permission first. Not only could they be allergic to certain foods or additives, but perhaps there are cultural reasons that forbids the child from eating certain foods.

The best thing to do would be to ask the parent first, wouldn't that just be common courtesy?

[Jackson84]

well, i was at my green grocers not so long ago, and whilst i was buying everything, the owner gave my DS a banana. for months DS flatly refused to eat bananas, but on this day he took it and started eating it straight away! the peel and all! LOL it was a nice discovery. :)

however, my son it wheat intollerant, and i am forever keeping an eye on him to make sure people of kids dont give him stuff he might react to.

i think rudeness would be if the person offered the food, you said no, and they still tried to give it to the child. that would upset me.

[natasha]

I have never offered or given any one elses child food without the parents knowledge, I have however whispered to the mum 'Can she have one?'

They either say, yes thanks , or no thanks. Doesn't bother me either way.

I really don't like it though when shop assistants keep giving DD biscuits and lollies as we go through the checkout!! They don't even ask. I because DD has already seen the lolli/biscuit i can't possibly take it away from her without her throwing the biggest tantrum!!

She leaves, covered in sticky horrible lollie full of adetives, or covered in chocolate biscuit!!
They just bend doen and before i know it they have given it to her!!!:mad:

Youd'e think they would ask first!!

[Shelly68]

I was at the Cookie Man the other week buying some little bikkies (the kiddy size), the lady next to me had a toddler in her trolley who was eyeing off my biscuits (to the point of drooling, lol)

I asked the mum if she could have one, then gave the bag to mum so she could choose a biscuit andpass it to the child, (so that the child is not taking food from strangers). I don't know the mother's view point on this so left the choice up to her.

The mother was most thankful, and you should have seen the smile on the kids face,

However, we have had cases where we go looking at say christmas lights for example and they give out lollies there, just try and tell an 8 and 11 year old that they can't have one.

You just have to be sooooo damn careful these days. It's a shame that the world has come to this, in that we can't trust people the way we used to, mostly I give people the benefit of the doubt but 'how do I know'.

Thankfully now my kids are past the age of being offered lollies etc whilst we're out (apart from christmas) so I don't have to worry about it too much anymore.

[jessgray]

i wouldnt give another child food without asking their parent if its ok for the child to eat it. with so many kids with allergies it would be not very wise to not ask i think. i have a cousin who is 3 and when i was 8 months pregnant with my son i had a baby shower and my cousin was eyeing off the chocolate cake i asked my aunty if she minded her eating the cake and she told me she was allergic to dairy and egg. so lucky i asked or else my cousin would have been zoomed off to hospital.

my son doesnt get offered food or anything from strangers.i dont think he is really at the age where he looks like he is old enough to eat everything.:laughing: my brothers and sisters ask me and DP if DS can have chocolate and biscuits before they give it to him. we dont mind we just know to get the wipes ready :laughing:

[rsmum]

My son too has allergies (not severe enough for hospital) but break out in eczema and the amount of people who have been offened when I have said no thank you to food offers because of his allergies is ridiculous. I'm sure people think that I am trying to deprive him of a 'treat'. I know avoid some places now if I can see the staff at the counter that will offer him foods hi is allergic to. But I am tempted to make him a sign to wear advising others not to feed him. Its hard enough at parties to keep him away from things that with people going out og their way to give things to him. Sorry thats enough complaining!