How do you deal with daytime naps??

[Priscilla]

Hello all,

You wouldn't believe how tightly my fingers are crossed at the moment, in the hope that I can get some useful advice?!?!??!

My 6mth DS has never been a good sleeper and I've accepted that. Sometimes I'm very patient and at other times.. well lets just say that I'm not patient.

He used to sleep in 40 min blocks during the day, then for 2 hr blocks during the night, then at five mths, that all just changed. Now, he'll sleep in 20 min blocks during the day, and of the evening he'll sleep in 40 min blocks and then at night (when I go to sleep), he'll sleep in 2hr blocks.

During some days, he'll wake after 20mins but will still want to go back to sleep and this is great as I just cuddle him then put him back down. But other days, he'll wake and either want to play or be tired but will be fighting the tiredness so is a real pain to resettle.

I know I'm not the only one with a baby who does not sleep well. So my question is how should you all deal with the daytime sleeps? I used to just let him stay up after 20 mins but he would just be grumpy after an hour. Then I read that babies should sleep for two hours, then be up for two hours. So now, after each 20min nap, i'll resettle him and keep doing this for two hours.

Should i keep doing what I'm doing, or just let him be up after 20 minutes and then be grumpy in an hours time???? I just feel like all I do during the day and evening is resettle and while I do treasure those moments (sometimes!) unfortunately, I'm feeling like it's starting to become a chore and I DON'T want to forget how precious those moments are (sometimes!).

Yes, I'm in the wars with myself!!

[kadownie]

I know how you feel. I have twins- one is a great sleeper- the other is not. I spend over an hour at times getting my boy to sleep. It took me a long time to realize and accept that this is who he is. I have noticed that there are certain times when he won't sleep. If he hasn't done a poo in the morning, then there's little to no chance that he'll go to sleep in the arvo.

I would just go with what your heart tells you. All these books tell us this and that- but, as my mother continually told me when the bubs were born and I would be quoting this book and that book at her- babies can't read books.

With Cameron, I tend to make sure he's really tired, and not try to put him down at the exact time everyday, even though this would suit me better. I just think about how if I'm not ready to go to sleep- nothing can make me- and it's the same for our bubs- if they're not ready, they're not ready. So try and put him down when he's ready.

Hope it improves for you. Bear in mind- it's just a season (sometimes it seems like an extra long season)

[Foxy]

Hi Priscilla,

This sleeping problem must be so frustrating for you both!!

I don't know if you like to work to a routine or a "go with the flow" approach, but at 6 months, I imagine he would be feeling tired and need a sleep every 2-1/2 hours.

I would definatley recommend swaddling him, as this may keep him calm enough to extend his sleep beyond one sleep cycle. My DS would only have 3 x 40min day sleeps at that age, but when I started to wrap him, they extended to 2 x 2hour+ day sleeps and good night sleeps. Even though I don't wrap him anymore, he has kept his good sleep habits.

I would also recommend looking into a "sleep school" in your area, maybe your CHN or GP could recommend one to you. These schools can help you to recognise "tired" signs etc, and can show you some good methods in helping bub to have quality sleep.

I know many will disagree, but I really feel that it is up to us to "teach" a baby how to sleep. I don't necessarily mean control crying, but developing routines to help bubs understand what they need to do.

Hope this makes sense! Please PM me if you would like more info on wrapping techniques. :)

[Priscilla]

Thanks for you advices!!

No I don't swaddle C because he seems to dislike being swaddled. He'll squirm and try to get out of it. What does PM mean (sorry - am still trying to get my head around all these abbreviations)? I would like to try again if there are different techniques? But will it be dangerous with the rolling?

I have made an appointment to speak to a consultant from Tweddle to discuss my options. It just seems like the longest wait! Not long to go now - it's tomorrow; YAY!!!

YEsterday I tried just letting him stay awake after a 20min nap in the morning and he was grumpy for the rest of the day. I think he's STARTING to get use to the longer sleep periods during the day, but boy was he fighting the tiredness. ANd boy was I fighting my frustration!!!

I just don't know what to do. A part of me wants to just go with the flow and let him tell me what I should do. But then the other part of me KNOWS that he needs a longer nap than 20mins even though he's awake......

*sigh* the whole concept of trial and error seems sooooo much easier to grasp in high school maths (from what I can remember anyway!).

[Chickadee]

I think that by the time bub is 6 months, most of us parents have a pretty good "feel" for their tired signs. So if you think your son needs more sleep then he probably does. I know my DD was a generally more content girl when I managed to get her to have 1.5 hour sleeps instead of only 45 min.

Most bubs have a 40-45 min sleep cycle. After that length of time they resurface into a lighter sleep phase and may wake. So the trick is to get them through that 45min mark and back to sleep. I used a patting technique which I was taught by a mothercraft nurse. I used it when putting DD down for her sleeps and after awhile it helped her to settle herself at that 45 minute mark and have longer sleeps. Hopefully you'll learn some similar useful tricks at your appointment tommorrow.

As others have suggested, don't watch the clock but schedule your day and his naps according to his needs. And try to get him to bed as soon as he starts showing tired signs. If found (and still find) that if I wait too long then DD gets overtired and is even harder to get to sleep.

[red crayon]

i'm with MarthaM and Shelbyville. i went to masada sleep school a while ago and, while i appreciate that not all bubhubbas agree with controlled comforting methods ,it made a huge difference to me and my ds. the nurses there said that naps need to be at least an hour and a half and taught us re-settling techniques for when our babies woke too soon. i don't necessarily agree that your baby needs an hour and a half but i think he probably needs more than 20 minutes. it might take a couple of days but i agree with MarthaM that learning a re-settling technique would really help. my ds likes his back rubbed but your son might like patting or rocking. good luck at tweedle - let us know how you go.:fingerscrossed: