I Want To Sleep !!!

[~MUMMY~]

my son is 3.4 years old already and STILL WONT sleep the night through... im lucky to get him to bed before 10 each night and for him to wake up atleast 4 times a night only to be out of bed and playing at 5:30 !!!!!:banghead:

he has basically had the same sleeping pattern since he was born ! i havnt had a nights sleep unless he is at grandmas house !

how do i make him sleep... if i force him to go to bed he just crys and crys and doesnt stay in bed anyways and will keep crying till he throws up which he does on purpose anyways so he can stay up longer !

he has droped the day time nap on most days and still doesnt sleep anymore at night than any other day !

ohh and to top it off he sleeps in my bed because atleast he sleeps more and stays in bed longer then if he was in his own room ! AND he wont sleep without his stupid chiuhuahua dog sleeping in MY bed too so her moving around all night too keeps me awake ! but he wont sleep without her and if i lock her up and will bark all night anyways so no one in the nighbourhood gets any sleep !!!!

I JUST WANT SOME SLEEP !!!

ohh and sometimes which i know is wrong but by midnight and he still not in bed i start to get very cranky i put him in bed and i tell him if he gets off that bed im throwing all his toys out... AND I DO ! BUT...... atleast then he goes to sleep :thumbsup:

[the_queen]

you poor thing :hugs:

This may be a silly question, but do you have a strict and regular bedtime routine?
I think he's old enough for you to sit down with him and explain that he needs to go to bed at such-and-such time (eg 8pm) and talk to him about what he thinks you could do together before bed. After dinner, a nice warm bath (maybe some lavender oil in there, it encourages relaxation) and then a nice relaxing quiet time in his room (or yours, whichever you'd prefer - I think co-sleeping is a great idea:thumbsup:) where you get him dressed for bed and pick out some stories. Then he brushes his teeth, then hops into bed and you read him the stories. All very quiet and relaxing, nothing stimulating or overly exciting. And if he needs you there, then sit there with him, holding his hand, until he falls asleep.
You have to kinda tailor this to suit his personality. My DD loves her music, so Father Christmas brought her a pink CD player for Christmas last year and she has the radio on quietly after story time. And she has quite a collection of story CD's and tapes, so if she wants more stories after our pre-agreed number has been read, then she gets a story CD to listen to. And she chooses one of her dollies to go to bed with her - and I have found that if I tell her she needs to get her baby to sleep, it encourages her to lay still and quiet - which in turn helps her to go to sleep. We used to have her in our bed (until she'd fall asleep, then put her in her own bed) but it's too tricky these days with my pregnant belly, and I want her to be able to "go to bed" easily and with no problems, after baby gets here I just won't be able to deal with arguments!! So we have found that this routine helps her.
Having said all that, she has always slept through the night since she was about 12 months old, so I can't help you with the night-waking, sorry! Is his room dark and quiet enough? I guess if you just make sure he has a really energetic day and "wears himself out" then hopefully he'd be tired enough to sleep all night?

Good luck matey, you deserve a good nights sleep, and so does he. And I think you deserve some of these: :hugs: :hugs:

[kadownie]

I'm really sorry that you are so tired!! I know the feeling. My 18mth old does the same thing- I know I haven't been as many years as you being sleep deprived- but it takes it's toll.

I just wanted to encourage you for listening to your child's needs for needing to be near you. I'm not sure if I can give you any advice. There is a book called 'The No cry sleep solution' and there is a toddler version which may be more appropriate. It could give you some good ideas. I haven't read it yet but have heard many good things about it.

Have you had your little one checked out- could there be a medical reason why he's not sleeping well?

Are there things going on at home that could be upsetting him?

Have you tried lying with him in his bed until he falls asleep and then creeping off. I find when I do that with my bub he seems to sleep longer- it's like my being there encourages him to wake-

hope this helps
Kylie

[~MUMMY~]

well i tryed for months to put him in his own bed at 9pm thinking thats a reasonable time for a 3yr old to go to sleep and as soon as he was put into his bed the tears started... and i would read a book and sing soooo many stupid songs he loves till he fell asleep then i'd creep out only to hear a all mighty SCREAMMMM 5 mins later... he moves sooo much in his sleep that i brought him a double bed so he wouldnt fall out so much but he wakes up constantly and if im not next to him he crys so much that he is awake again then no one will get any sleep till he decides he is sleepy again.

even on his worn out days he wakes up constantly and is always up as the sun rises.

there has been some drama in the house (his dad leaving) but that was only recently and this has been a problem since day 1 !

we do have bed time routine so he knows its bed time soon once he has a bath and he has his p.j's on teeth brushed etc.

i dont mind that we are co-sleeping i would just like some sleep without to much interuption !:sleeping:

[kadownie]

a book has come to mind that might be worth having a look at- I'm sure a library near you would have it- it's called 'The Fussy Baby book' by Dr Sears. I know your little one isn't a baby, but if you have had these issues since he was little then it sounds like he may have high emotional needs. I recently borrowed it from the library- and it was so helpful. The authors had lots of children and talk about their own experiences. He is also a doctor so that gives him a bit of credibility. He's also got a website which I'm sure would have some hints.

what I liked about the book is it gave examples of what their high need babies were like when they grew up- which could be helpful for you.

I think the website is called something like 'Ask Dr Sears'

[Kamaikia]

Have you considered the possibility that he is extremly overtired. Its pertty true the latter to bed the earlier the rise.
You say you thought 9 was a good bedtime - Is it just me or does this seem really late for a 3 year old to be up?
maybe doing the dinner bath book routine but start earlier. Aim for being in bed by around 7 lights out half hour later.
Oh another thing to remember - if you say bedtime and he cries and you give in and let him up you are setting a pattern that will be hard to break. Children need to realise bedtime is bedtime no matter what. Yes he may take awhile to sleep at first, there may be tears but this should change once he realises you are serious and not going to give in no matter what.

[kadownie]

If his Dad has recently left, that could be part of the problem.

I agree that you both deserve a good nights sleep and he knows that 'routine' of sleep for you both. In order to change what you are doing I think it's reasonable to change slowly- too much too soon can be very confusing for a little child. I know myself- big changes can cause a lot of stress- and that's going to be counterproductive.

I think he's would understand if you sat down and talked to him about it. Explain that you are going to change things- give him some choices. That will empower him.

As for the dog- it sounds like that really bothers you. Maybe your son can give him a big of a bed time routine- that might help it click in his mind.

there will be tears but I think leaving him to cry it out isn't going to do anything for your relationship IMO. I recently have night weaned my twins (19 months). I explained to them over a few days that soon there would be no more booby in the night and when they wake up that they could have some water and a cuddle. There were lots of tears the first few nights- but I just lay with them giving cuddles and reassuring them that I was there. It got better every night. They still wake up- but are happy not to have the boob, most of the time. Usually I just lie down with my girl- and she goes to sleep fairly quickly. My boy is another story- I'm not really sure that he's altogether ready for this (I know people will disagree- and they do- but he's my son and I know his needs).

For example- last night he slept quite well- until around 3am (usually he wakes around 11pm) and I went in told him no for boob but gave him cuddles in the rocking chair. Then I lay down with him in his bed- but when I tried to get up he would sit up. After a while I decided just to take him back to bed with me- and he went to sleep. So, as you can see- I don't have 'perfect' sleeping children- but they are happy!!

Also, I know if my DH and I have been fighting- the bubs sleep is terrible
hope this helps;)

[Ruby Slippers]

you poor thing i really hope he starts sleeping for you,
there's nothing worse than ,
getting no sleep and trying to walk around the next day :hugs:

[~MUMMY~]

i thought 9 was a good time for a kid who is rarely in bed before 10 to start off with... it was just a trial....

ohh and i cant let him cry and scream unless i want to changed the bed sheets 10 times a night... he does this stupid thing of making himself throw up... and i cant let him sleep in a pool of puke !!!:barf: so i have to clean it up. and change him and the sheets if i am willing to just ignore his crys of attention.

i can eventually get him to bed if i lay with him but he will wake up and cry. he wont sleep without me next to him and thats not working because he still wakes up several times a night...

like last night for example... we went to bed at 10 together in my bed he fell asleep right away i went to go wash the dishes before i jumped in bed not even 6 mins later he was crying because i wasnt next to him... so i didnt wash the dishes went back to bed... around midnight he was sitting up in bed talking to himself pretending he was a fireman putting some fires out holding onto the dog and PLAYING !!! at midnight.. i sent the dog out of the room and told him to go back to sleep..... 2am i hear MUUUUUUUUUUUUM i need a drink... ok so i got him some water back to bed... 4am MUM i want to go play thomas now i had enough sleep... i told him to go back to sleep... but he wouldnt and he screamed at me in a angry voice and started to throw the pillows off the bed and was just being a pain... by 6am i had enough and said fine go out and play cause he sure wasnt going back to sleep again.

i just dont know what to do anymore... ok some say let him cry but again i cant without the SPEWING . bed routines ok that can be done but he still wakes up all through the night. sleeping next to him i do and still he wakes up all the time.

i plan to study soon and i dont know how thats going to be possible if i get no sleep !

he does the same thing when he is being baby sat or at his grandmas the only difference is they DONT make him go back to bed.. they give him whatever he wants and will actually sit up and midnight whilst he sips his milo and eats his bikkies and plays some games.... and they are more than happy to hand him back over once the night is over... cause they get no sleep either.

[Goosie22]

Just reading through your posts I was thinking you could try the child and adolecent mental health in your area(ring your local hospital or community health center and they will point you in the right direction to find them) . They run little sessions and give advice on emotional/sleep problems in children a young as your boy. If nothing else they might be someone to just talk too?

[tracyn]

Hi, my dd is just over 2 and has always been a bad sleeper from day 1 as well. I did many a sleep program and they didnt work. They helped get her to sleep but she never stays asleep. She has a good night time routine. She has her dolls and her blankie and her bottle of water - all her security items and I read her a story and sometimes we all sleep. But as soon as we go somewhere or she cuts a new tooth or something takes her out of her routine she starts screaming and vomiting and waking up the entire neighbourhood. Her sleeplessness (and the subsequent tired tantrums the next day) are threatening to destroy my marriage as my husband just cant cope with all the "drama"

Poor dd has suffered with reflux and ear infections and dreadful teething and then viruses - always something wrong. She has seen numerous doctors and other professionals who tell me nothing is medically wrong with her. Ok, well I did read Dr Sears website a while back and agree she is "high maintenance" but it doesnt really solve any problems.

I thought today that the latest issue was the bottle of water in bed because she continually wakes up asking for it (and having it refilled about 3-4 times a night) then wakes up due to a wet nappy and wet bed. And then wants me to get into bed with her. So I tried to get her to sleep without it tonight ... well, she screamed and screamed for an hour to the point where she was literally pulling her own hair out and tearing pieces of flesh off her body!! I had to give it to her and she was asleep within 5 mins but I bet she wakes up for it again about 4 hrs later.

No one seems to be able to help and I am due to have another baby (silly me!) in 4 months and would obviously love a solution as well.
:devil6:

PS Your lucky grandma will have him - mine cant cope!!
PPS Sorry not to have a solution but I hope it helps knowing you are not alone. It helps me to write.

[Twoterrorsmum]

That sounds like a great idea that The Queen suggested in establishing a regular bedtime routine each night.Another thing that may help is using a reward chart. Being over 3 your DS should understand the concept of the reward chart (When my DS was around the same age I was using a reward chart for his behaviour at the time and it helped me). Each night when he goes to sleep in his own bed and at an earlier time give him a sticker to place on his reward chart. To start off with you tell him once he receives two stickers he gets a reward, the reward doesn't have to be lollies, you could tell him you'll take him to the park the next morning or read an extra story the next night or something like that. Then gradually increase the number stickers up to 3 until he gets his reward, then up to 4 stickers, etc. My child health nurse told me this and she said to use the reward chart method for about a month, if you need to, otherwise any longer than that and they will lose interest. Maybe you could buy a little basket for his dog to sleep in, on the floor, next to his bed or even at the end of his bed. If you explain to him what you want to do he could help you choose a basket and set it up, but he only gets to do it if he goes to bed on time and will sleep in his own bed. He will probably feel very special doing that.Good luck!! We all need our beauty sleep don't we!!

[~MUMMY~]

we've tryed a reward chart... he didnt care about it. wasnt interested.

and i've tryed putting the dog other places. she wont stay she sneaks into the bed and always wants to sleep right ontop of my legs !!!

i've given up, im to busy dealing with him crying all the time about his dad leaving. and trying to toilet train with no sucess and just getting him to eatgood foods... sleep isnt the biggest deal right now. so i'll keep all these sugestions in mind for when i have come back to this hurdle.

i'll just be a zombie for the next few more years... after 3 years no sleep you'd think i'd be use to it right now... :sleeping: