2 Qus - Feeling homesick once the weater gets colder and moving back to Ireland???

[Aine]

Anyone other Irish mums out there in Sydney who start to feel homesick when the weather starts to get colder or is it just me??? :rain:

Also anyone ever moved back to Ireland just to find out you really wanted to be here??? My husband and I think about going back but just aren't sure :confused:........

Me and hubby
2 Girls - 3 yrs and 10 months...

[Mammy]

Hi Aine,

Im not in Sydney so cant relate, but here on the gold coast i get homesick all the time! Its far too hot for me and i really miss the seasons we get back home, even the miserable winter!

I'd love the Sydney or Melbourne weather, at least you get a break from the heat at some stage. Even the winter up here is too warm...

I think about moving back all the time, but only because i miss my family.

Can you and your hubby go back for a holiday and see what you think? It would be a huge move to go back there only to decide that you've made the wrong decision.

[leanbh]

Hi Aine we have been in Adelaide almost 3 years now and the homesickness is decreasing. We always said we would prob go back but we have just had DS who is 10 weeks and I am torn between the quality of life being much better here and him missing out on family. We will prob go back and work for 6 months at some stage and see how the land lies before making any big decision. However unless the house prices in Ireland drop significantly we will prob stay here as no point going home just to work like a dog to pay a mortgage on a shed!
PS and isnt the cool weather fab we even had rain in Adelaide this week!!! Never thought I'd get excited about rain.

[1sofar]

Hi Aine, I haven't been back for a long trip but my friend did last year after 5 years of thinking about it. She spent 6 months there and couldn't wait to get back to Australia. The best thing was that she was there over a miserable winter and saw the ordinary side of life that she didn't see on holiday visits. She doesn't regret her decision to commit to permanent life in Oz.

I've been here for years (melbourne) and I often get a bit nostalgic about Ireland, especially on those cooler days with a chill in the air and a nice bit of soft rain, usually in Autumn - reminds me of summer in Ireland.:)

[niamh75]

Hi Aine Im not in Sydney im on the sunshine coast Im not here that long but I miss home so much my DH loves it here and we will prob stay for a year or two have a feeling it will be a year LOL, but yea the weather is good here but has rained a lot the last couple of weeks here on the sunshine coast and ive noticed when it rains there is nothing for the kids to do I haven't found an in door play area like we get back in ireland yet.

I know Ireland is expensive but Ive done the maths and to me there is not much difference's here at all things are slowing down in Ireland bit of a recession and Ild say come this time next year houses will be more afordable before we cam out there was houses on the way down to carlow reduced think there was 100,000 taken off the price so they were selling for 200.000 fully furnished could have got the figures out a bit there but they were cheap LOL

I am already planning on working hard and saving so I can go back I like Australia but I want my family to be around me and my kids to have aunties and grandparents Im finding it really hard at the minute and have have shed many a tear we have family coming over next June and i know when they come over all i want to do is go back home
Im expecting a baby in 5 weeks as well so guess thats not helping at all

if you feel going home is the right thing to do but have bought property here and have all your furniture here and that I'd say go home for a few months and rent Ive been looking and you can get houses for around the 650 a month mark in ireland may be not Dublin then see how you go if you miss Australia then you can come back if not then get on with life and be glad you have seen some of the world LOL thats the way im looking at it ive nothing to prove :)

[thekellygang]

Hi Ladies

Nice to meet so many girls from back home - just wanted to add my little bit to the discussion.

I have been where you are many times - wanting to go back - thinking things are better there - or at least trying to convince myseld and my husband that they are anyway:)

I have made the journey back and forth 3 times now - it seems crazy but that's the way it goes some times.

I have been back here for 6 years now and all i can say is that it is never the same when you go back home again.

We really have a good lifestyle going for us here, I think that the biggest confusion of emotions is missing Ireland and missing family - for me they are two very different things.

Looking back, I was missing family not Ireland. Everytime I would land in Dunblin airport - even on holidays in between the timne spent here - I would automatically get that feeling of "Oh no" as soon as we would land on the tarmac.

On my second move back home we were ready to start a family and wanted family around us - so we headed back and they all advised us to come back. They were right, so when our son was 17 months and another one well on the way we came back to Australia and honestly i don't regret it.

The children have a better time here, we do too.

All the time when it gets cold and it rains(which we love ) we do think of back home - but i wouldn't trade it in - the cold there is very different - it actually stops you doing anything at all - remeber how cold and wet it gets and for how long!

When you go back - even on a holiday - nothing has changed much - everything appears the same, people are the same(not a criticism) but then you realise how much you have changed, how much of a new way of living is actually a part of who you are and it is hard to settle in again(or again and again in my case:rolleyes:)

I would advise a holiday to anyone feeling homesick - it's a great way to get it out of your system. Or have some of your family visit you - it's a great opportunity for them and you will probably find that they will think you are far better off.

Sure there are differences and things that are very different to what we are used to, like Christmas in warm weather etc.

but now my children are telling me they are looking forward to the summer holidays and Christmas and swimming etc. - this is life for them now - and they love it and when I think about it I love it for them and really do enjoy alot about it myself.

I do know where you are all coming from - we probably all go through it at some stage or many stages in a year - but it's worth considering long and hard and really weighing up the cost and what you will be ging up.

Lovely to join in your chat - hope I will get to chat some more another time.

Warmest regards
Tracy

[Scrummy Mummy]

Hi Ladies,

Just wanted to give you the view from the other side as such.

We lived in Melbourne for 3 years and moved back to Ireland with our 5 month old son in July 2008. We are dying to come back to Australia.

It is not just the weather, it is everything. It is much less child friendly here, and while you are away you do tend to think of "home" with rose tinted glasses.

We have recently set the wheels in motion to return to Melbourne.

We are currently 33 weeks pregnant, so hope to be able to return when the new baby is 5 or 6 months old.

If you are thinking of coming home, give it so much consideration. We never came back for holidays while we were away, and that is something I regret. When we were back a month we both realised that a month would have done us.

If you have any questions give me a shout, I would hate anyone to feel like I do about being pretty much "stuck" back in Ireland.

Enjoy what you have,
HTH
M
xx

[jaq]

Hi Aine and the Irish troop,

I hoped my 2c worth might be useful to you ... I am Australian born of Irish parents. My mum is about to go back with what she calls her "seven year itch" - she seems to go back for a few weeks every seven years.

Mum has been here since 1963, so she is very much an Australian now, and loves the Australian way of life and even the weather. (To be fair, she lives up in the mountains in north Queensland, and its a pretty spectacular place to be!)

But she STILL misses her family and the sense of connectedness and people knowing you, even after all these years. But as she explains sometimes, everything has it good and bad sides, and when you're away, its easy to overlook the bad.

Even when she goes back for a short time, she gets embroiled in the family disputes again, has to play the big sister even though all of her brothers and sisters are nearly grandparents these days. She feels there is always a honeymoon period, and then once things are "back to business" so to speak, the restrictions on life over there get a bit depressing.

Her people are farmers, up in the hills, most with little or no education, so its a very different existence to here in Australia. She never considers herself progressive, but its only when she goes back to Ireland, she realises how far she has come in terms of tolerance, openness to strangers, understanding the world etc.

And if all of that bears no relation to your memories, just remember the traffic in Dublin, the problem actually finding somewhere to live (let alone affording it), the delights of January, and February, and March, and maybe even April before the sun peeps through for a few measly weeks (if you're lucky ...).

I have lived over there, and I have lived here, and I have lived in several other countries as well. When I got pregnant we chose to come back to Australia because the lifestyle here is unparalelled. (And the education system and the health systems are both pretty damn good too, for all our whinging.)

Good luck with your decision, but as everyone says, try a holiday first. It can really put things in perspective.

[Lastcenturymum]

And I can give another perspective! I'm Australian, but I live in Ireland currently.

I get a bit homesick for Australia - I think home will always be home, because of the memories and the family ties. I'm lucky I travel back twice a year to visit family. I see pictures of beaches and think, oh I wish I could feel sand between my toes..but often it is the memories we hold onto and they aren't reality IYKWIM?

Growing up in Melbourne in Oz, the seasons are more defined than Sydney, so I relate to them and love them here. I love the long summer days/nights and found the short winter days a novelty (first winter!) The bulbs are about to flower!

I love the opportunity to live here and wouldn't miss it for quids and if I had to stay here for ever, I would cope as I have made friends and have responsibilities, but I understand that for women, home always has an amazing pull.

A couple of things to consider, as Jaq said, the traffic is terrible (even with the M50!!) and getting worse, but the drivers are more polite than Australia; renting is a dream now, pricing dropping due to the economy (no one wants to or can afford to buy) and that is something to consider - it is very bad here and there are something like 500 jobs being lost a week. You would really need to know you had a good secure job before moving back. The construction industry has totally died - one friend has had to move to Qatar to get a job (engineering) The medical system is a disaster compared to Australia, thank goodness I am healthy!

Weather..hmm well we've had two of the wettest summers since I have been here and one of the coldest winters (the snow has been divine!!) though I must say I haven't seen the grey gloom of January everyone talks about, it has been a sunny, but frostier winter. I agree Jaq, I think we had two days last summer that I would call summer - 25 and you could sit out in the sun and feel it (good thing I don't like hot hot weather!)

One thing though I notice is being more central to Europe you feel more 'in touch' with world goings on - hard to express it, but Australia is a bit isolated in some ways and we had the same comments from some Aussies who have lived here for 7 years.

The banking system is a joke, even the Irish groan about it!! Forget online banking, barely exists.

But having said that, I do love it here, have made some great friends, seen some great places and still got a lot more to see.

[Mammy]

Great to read everyones experiences of homesickness/moving back home etc.
Scrummy mummy, what made you move back to ireland? have you got a house here in oz to come back to? Good luck with the birth of your next bub.
I'd love to move back home for a year or two but definatley want to have a house here before i do it or else it would make it very hard to move back again.
LCM, what made you move to Ireland? Are you going to stay there permanently or come back to oz?
Great hearing about your mums experience Jaq, i hope she has a good time on her next trip and hopefully the family give her some peace!

[darcey]

Hi All

We've just returned from 3 weeks back home (Tyrone, N Ireland) and I can tell you its like a different place from our last visit about 14 months ago. The recession really is kicking in and almost everyone I talked to is affected or knows someone who is worried about their job etc. I came back feeling quite relieved that we aren't living there at the moment.

I can identify with so much of what has been written in these threads about homesickness. My husband and I moved here almost 3 years ago on a 4yr business visa. Last August we had our first baby here who is now 6 months. I was pretty homesick when I came over initially but it did get better when we really embraced all the positive things life in Oz has to offer.

We had to return to Ireland for a family wedding 9 months after we got here and it was a good thing because you realise that you aren't actually missing all that much! I still got bouts of homesickness though, not least when I was pregnant, but visits from family really helped. Our most recent trip home was primarily to introduce our new daughter to her HUGE Irish clan!! She loved all the fuss and attention and I loved seeing her with all her aunts, uncles and grandparents etc.

We now have a year left on our visa so must decide whether to apply for residency or return home having enjoyed 4 years. Its a difficult one, I do enjoy the lifestlye, climate etc but I cannot imagine my daughter not growing up within a wider family network - I know its very traditional but it carries a lot of value too.

Like the other poster, its people I miss not really the place as such, if all my loved ones came here I probably would never go back. I really dont know what we will do, its totally 50/50 at this stage and I think we'll see how we settle back following the trip and go from there. I just really wish Ireland was closer :), its soo far away! Now I have a gorgeous jet lagged, teething six month old to resettle (without any aunts etc around to help!)

Glad I stumbled across this thread today, it really helps to know there are others out there tackling the same issues etc, other perspectives are really useful.

[Scrummy Mummy]

Scrummy mummy, what made you move back to ireland? have you got a house here in oz to come back to? Good luck with the birth of your next bub.


When we moved to Melbourne originally it was a 1 year contract with hubbies company, then it rolled on to become 3 years. The company rented us a place out there as we have our own house in Ireland which we continued to play our mortgage on the whole time we were there.

So we are pretty much after asking the company he works for to send us back again, however this time we would sell (or at least try to sell) our house back here in Ireland and perhaps buy somewhere in the Melbourne suburbs.

There are pluses and minuses for everywhere of course, but, I found it hard to settle back in and kept thinking when I needed something from the market or wherever of the places in Melbourne I could get them - rather than the places here.

I cried a lot after we got home, I am not sure if it was all missing Oz, but, a lot of it was, the rest of it was hormones of course :D

M
xx

[Lastcenturymum]

Mammy (how Irish;)) we are here for another 2 years or so, been here 1 year (plus had two months in 'summer' the year before) as my husband's business has a joint venture with an Irish company. Anything could change with it all though the way things are.

darcey, your insights are good - and family is often the pull isn't it? though the whole lifestyle for your family ultimately is very important to consider.

I hate the flight with a passion, as we have to go through Heathrow as well..bout 35 hours door to door..luckily I got upgraded to business class the last two trips home, I couldn't do it with a baby, though most we have travelled with seem to be pretty good.

I can't wait to go back to my butcher and fruit shop back in Melbourne, but I think the prices due to the drought there will stagger me, as will the dryness.

Oh and if it helps anyone decide, Lansdowne Road Stadium is due to be finished August 2010:p We live right near it, so I keep a close eye on it's progress!! Hmm, I might have to post some pics for you girls, though don't want to make you 'home-sicker'

[cazza18]

Hey all,
This thread has given me loads to think about. We’ve been here for 18 months and I’m going home for the first time next month for a wedding. I’ve just found out I’m pregnant after trying for 6 months and while we’re planning the birth here I’m, not sure how long I’ll be able to last without the support of friends and an extended family after the baby is born.
Darcy, I’m also from N Ireland and it sounds like we’re in the same boat. We’re on a 4 year business visa (my husband was relocated with his company) and thinking of applying for Perm Res as soon as we can. I’m worried about all the childcare and how much it’s going to cost. I don’t think we would be able to afford for me not to go back to work, and as we’re on a visa I don’t think we get the baby bonus or any other benefits. If anyone has advice on these I would appreciate it!
I just can’t imagine doing all this alone and not having all the family around for support. And I also feel guilty about the grandparents missing out, this would be the first grandchild!
But then living over here is soo great, the weather, the food, the scenery, why can’t all the family come out too….

[darcey]

Hey Cazza

Firstly, congrats on your pregnancy! Very exciting! :yelclap:

I know exactly where you are coming from, having been in the same position last year, and yes, I know all about the guilt aspect and also the worry about not having the family support behind you for such a huge event in your lives. Look, it is hard at times being so far away, I can't deny that and what gets to me mostly is the not being able to share the joys of it all - its not the same when you have to wait 10 hours because of the time difference to ring up and tell them all about the first smile/tooth/steps etc. That said, things tend to balance out a lot too in that there is just soo much to do here with your bub and as a family! My dd is almost a year and I have no huge regrets about staying here for the birth and being still here a year later, we have had the most amazing experience bonding as our own wee family and enjoying so many days out here there and everywhere!

When we went home last Jan, when bub was 5 months we didn't get out for a walk outside once cos it was freezing!! I really missed all the outdoors stuff.

There's no right or wrong really, if I was back home I would miss so much about here but there would be huge compensation in having all my friends and family around. Over here I miss everyone of course but the pay off is the quality of life. It's better to look at both being a win/win whatever you decide.

Re the money side of things, on a 457 you won't be entitled to any bonus or benefits, nor will you be eligible for any family allowance from 'back home' cos you're out of the country for a year. If you get your residency though you will be eligible so probably not a bad move really, in case you do stick around.

I went back to work part time (2.5 days) when bub was 7 months, childcare costs $67 per day and we pay full amount as there's no help with that for temporary residents.

It's a really tough decision to make but you can't go wrong whatever you do and you aren't alone - I have made 2 friends from NI whilst over here with new bubs too and we've all been there (oh and we're all still here in Oz:))!

Best of luck with the pregnancy! Let me know if you have any questions I can help with, no probs!

[sambojambo]

hi there im not Irish im English but I know what your saying....... i think when its cold at home we get excited about christmas but winter here (even though its beautiful weather and a great place to live) makes you start thinking of home and family because thats what we do at home when its cold.....christmas.....family.....celebrations.... . but here we celebrate summer and christmas. Its not just us either, my sister in new zealand feels the same. Im in sydney too ........ but i tell you one freezing wet and grey month in the uk would set me off wishing i was back in oz in the sun .....with the great food..... the coffee....... the massive sky!!!! i think its sometimes needing to belong as well ...... but hey, come summer we will be thanking our lucky stars that we are on the beach when we talk to our familys moaning on the other end of the phone about drizzly days and the price of heating .:laughing: