musicalmummy
28-02-2008, 14:32
I've been worrying and confused about where i stand as step parent, so have rung around counsellors etc. talked to one lady in town here and she pulled me up saying"you've referred to them as HIS kids twice now"and i felt horrible. i didn't think til afterwards that the reason i do that is cos they still have a bio mum and if anyone ever calls my bio kids THEIRS i would be very very upset with them. anyway after she made me feel like s*#@ i eventually found a help line through google for blended families. the guy i talked to was amazing.
basically he said no matter what anyone thinks or says they will never be my children, and will only be my responsibility if DH asks them to be (is if something happened to their mum). he said the whole parenting side of things should come from him when they are here, never should DH expect me to jsut take on the parenting role...ie expecting me to have 2 babies under the age of 2 ready by 8am to take DSD to bus stop, he told me that is his responsibility.
i asked if i was being unreasonable or nasty when DH goes out to soccer and i expect him to take DSD with him, and he said no he should be with her fo rthe time she is here(unless he has to work or soemthing then it should be discussed with me)
discipling should ultimately come from DH so if there is something that i see is happening i should tell him.
when it comes to dinners, if DSD behaves like that then make DH cook all the meals on the days we have the kids.
at the end of our conversation after i told him a few thigns that were going on here with DSD behviour or little things she says and why i think she behaves the way she does he told me i should get a job with them as i know exactly what i am talking about.
yay i feel more clearer now. just have to tell DH now when he expects me to do everything.
basically he said no matter what anyone thinks or says they will never be my children, and will only be my responsibility if DH asks them to be (is if something happened to their mum). he said the whole parenting side of things should come from him when they are here, never should DH expect me to jsut take on the parenting role...ie expecting me to have 2 babies under the age of 2 ready by 8am to take DSD to bus stop, he told me that is his responsibility.
i asked if i was being unreasonable or nasty when DH goes out to soccer and i expect him to take DSD with him, and he said no he should be with her fo rthe time she is here(unless he has to work or soemthing then it should be discussed with me)
discipling should ultimately come from DH so if there is something that i see is happening i should tell him.
when it comes to dinners, if DSD behaves like that then make DH cook all the meals on the days we have the kids.
at the end of our conversation after i told him a few thigns that were going on here with DSD behviour or little things she says and why i think she behaves the way she does he told me i should get a job with them as i know exactly what i am talking about.
yay i feel more clearer now. just have to tell DH now when he expects me to do everything.