settling problems (part 2)

[suejean17]

my ds is 8 weeks old and i'm having settling problems,
i was reading the previous posting by marthm and her settling technique (bum patting and making a droning sound) i was thought a similar technique when i went to a settling centre, but a week down the track and it's still taking me over an hour to settle him and half the time he still wakes up half an hour later, and on top of all that my arm feels like it's going to drop off from all the patting....
did anyone else have similar problems, should i be persevering or am i to forever have him sleep in my arms (which i have resorted to if he isn't sleeping by two hours so he can get some sleep)

[Chickadee]

Hi SueJean,

I'm trying to remember, it all seems so long ago but really only a year and a bit since I was in the same position as you. I will say it's worth the perserverance. Tonight DD has a cold but only yelled for 1 or 2 min when I put her to bed and then talked to herself and played with her bears till she went to sleep about 15 or 20 min later. But not all bubs are going to react the same way, and you might find a different method easier on your son and on you.

Some things that might have helped me with DD: I wasn't breastfeeding her at the time, so she didn't have that comfort association with me as much anymore. She often had day time naps strapped into her swing (I don't know what I'd have done without it!). It gave me a break, put her to sleep quickly and might also have helped break the pattern of needing the warmth and smell and comfort of sleeping with me.

When I was trying to help DD learn to settle herself I wasn't strict about having her in the cot all the time. When she would really wind up into a distressed cry I'd pick her out and cuddle her, continuing to pat and talk to her till her crying got over the peak and she would be calming down. Then pop back into the cot for more patting and holding her fairly firmly at the shoulder. I would try to tail off the patting & leave the room once she was calmed and before she was asleep, often she'd still be sobbing to herself but not distressed or thrashing, just tired and angry at being awake. I do remember sometimes retreating into the shower for 5 minutes so as not to listen to her crying. I'm not supermum :)

If it's not getting any better in the week or so you might try something different or maybe talk to the settling centre again and see if someone could actually come out and watch and help you? Maybe your partner could take over at least some of the bedtime efforts - my daughter reacts very differently to dad's deeper voice.

Good luck!

[jamb]

I'm not sure where I read it so I cant give you the reference but I read that no bad habits, as we like to call them, are formed before about 3 months of age. I have a DS, 10 weeks, and I do what I have to settle him (and what works for me). My DS does not sleep much during the day, 20/30 minutes, once or twice a day- if im lucky. If I cuddle him, we get a much longer sleep together. I remind myself that I cant spoil him with love and i can always try to CC at a later stage. If you have been to settling centre and it's not working for you, give em a buzz. If they give a fantastic strategy- please share!!

[suejean17]

i'm still trying to settle him in his cot but most of the time i end up giving up and settling him in my arms

btw, i was searching through the bubhub directory and found a site called save our sleep
it's a routine to follow to help the child sleep through
has anyone tried it???
how effective is it???
what do people think of sticking to routines???

right now i'm desperate to try anything to get him to sleep for more than 30mins so i can actually get things done and have some sort of a life :(

[suejean17]

just letting you know, after telling the grandparents to stay away for a week (they kept wanting to pick up eddy everytime he cried), i convinced my husband to help me put him to sleep in the cot (basically take over patting when my arm felt like it was about to fall off)
and finally, he is starting to sleep in his cot every time
sometimes it takes several visits to settle him but it is definately getting better
and the tip about going naah naah really helped

thanks for posting up your settling secret

sue-jean

[Chickadee]

That's great to hear Sue-Jean! I won't take credit for the "settling secret" though!

It's a hard job to help them get to sleeping independently, no matter what method you use. But I really do think it pays off in the end.

And routines or bedtime rituals definitely help, maybe more so as bubs get older and more active. Bubs will start to recognise the routine and be readier to sleep. It doesn't have to be much, the simpler the better actually.

[xanthia]

My little one is just over 6 weeks old.. and besides the odd unsettled day (about once a week) he seems to settle well in the cot when I do the following:

* I try to ensure he is not over tired.
* I purchased one of those musical mobiles with classical music where the mobile part is removable and it then becomes a music box (it plays continuous music for 15 minutes)
* I wrap him up (he likes his hands free)
* I tuck him in with the blankets tight (as per SIDS recommendations)
* I set the music box (I do not try to have him sleep with the mobile component still connected as this just seems to excite him)

I find that within minutes (up to about 10mins) he is fast asleep.

If he is still crying or unsettled when the music stops or if he starts to make a loud sudden scream I know that he has wind or a big burp.

Once I fix the problem I just tuck him right back in and set the music box again...

I hope this helps...

Xanthia