Force Feeding a Toddler

[SoThisisParenting]

Howdy all, I'm a dad to a 2 year old ... and having fun convincing her that eating dinner is a necessity. Even lunch, breakfast or anything nutritious would be good. Looking for handy hints, tips or fun ways to convince this little one that she really does want to eat her vege's and food other than nuggets, chips, quiche and sweets.

[Baby Girl]

I hate to be the bearer of bad news but this is very normal!!

My DD (and many of my friends kids about the same age) were very picky at this age. If it wasn't for plain pasta, yoghurt, chicken nuggets, chips (I used to trick her and make my own out of potato, pumpkin and sweet potato - bit of trial and error) and watermelon, she would have starved.

The best suggestion I can make is to keep trying to get her to try lots of different things, even if she eats off your plate at least she is trying things. My DD is now 3 and she has only just started happily eating more variety of fruits and veg!

One winner I found and still do everyday is make up a bowl of fruit salad and leave it in the bottom of the fridge so she can help herself or I put a plate out for her to pick at while she is playing. Some other things I tried with varied success were frozen bananas on a stick (like an ice cream - only not!!), frozen grapes - peel and eat - yummy grape icee!! I tried the good old mashed potato with numerous other 'hidden' vegies but it depended on her mood as to whether she would even eat the potato!!

Good Luck - perserverence is the key :thumbsup:

[Ana Gram]

Hate to tell you but it really is the age. Some 2 year olds will eat what ever you give them, others like mine and yours will not. My brother refused to eat anything other than milkshakes for an entire year when he was 18 months. My mother was so stressed, she took him to the doctor adn was told the only way to hadle it without everyone being unhappy was to hide stuff in it that was good for him. If she will eat quiche, you have lots of chances to slip stuff in that she won't notice and are good for her.

[draught]

Yep - we went through the same thing. Luckily my daughter has always eaten fruit but vegies have been a real challenge. I have made vegie sauces for her pasta (mashed pumpkin with grated carrot, grated zucchini and a dollop of tomato paste is a good one), hidden mashed or grated vegies in meatballs, and recently we have had great success with what my daughter calls "widdle cherry tomatoes" - the grape tomatoes which are very small and very tasty. She is 3 now and we are seeing real improvements in her willingness to eat new food - at last!

AS for food other than nuggets, chips, and sweets - don't offer these three and she will eat eventually. We had a rule in our house - the food is on the table for 15 minutes and if they don't eat it, it goes away. Replacement options are not offered. We are not running a restaurant. If they are hungry they will eventually eat. (we repeat these statements regularly....and there have been nights when she eats nothing and goes to bed.....but she has yet to wake in the night hungry so obviously the stores of food through the day keep them going!)

[SoThisisParenting]

Thanks to all the responses ... at least she's not only accepting Chocolate Milkshakes - I almost feel blessed! Cheers

[Supermum]

We had a rule in our house - the food is on the table for 15 minutes and if they don't eat it, it goes away. Replacement options are not offered. We are not running a restaurant.

That's what we do in our home. We have two toddlers. I have developed a whole host of yummy meals - most of which I can hide a variety of vege's in and once a week I get a night off and they get baked beans, eggs, chicken and cheese. The food is on the table for a set period of time. They are not allowed to leave the table until everyone is finished ... and if they choose not to eat it, you snooze you lose. DS1 has gone to bed hungry many a night. He is slowly learning we mean what we say.

Toasted bread with a variety of toppings and cheese grilled and cut into strips is a tasty lunch or dinner. Curries are also a great way to get them eating vege's along with some rice. Make funny faces out of food - mashed potato face, julienne carrot hair, broccoli ears .... if the vege's are on their own with no sauce, I soak them in a cup of chicken noodle soup for a minute or so to give them a little flavour.

If she's a lazy eater (my DS1) - and by that I mean, can't be bothered chewing her food, then risotto is a great filler.

To be honest - if I offered my kids nuggets, quiche, chips and sweet stuff ... that's all they'd want to eat as well!

Offer her healthy, tasty food and she'll eat it ... maybe not without a fight, but she will eat it. She won't starve, promise!

Good luck - militant little blighters sometimes aren't they?

[nicoleE]

you say that you want to encourage her to want to eat her vege's and food other than nuggets, chips, quiche and sweets.... then dont offer her the chips, quiche and sweets. :D Your child will not starve but if you offer her the things you know she will eat (even if they are not very good for her) then she will soon learn that refusing to eat the 'new' foods and 'yucky' vegetables (that she has probably never really given a good try before) will eventually be taken away and the 'good stuff' (to her) will be offered!

Offer her a choice between healthy foods and leave it at that. she will feel like she has a little control left if she has some kind of choice but dont make it an everyday thing to offer choices (you dont want her always wanting one!) and dont go out of your way to make them. Perhaps a "you can either have carrot and chicken or peas and chicken" type of option if you are already cooking all those things. NO other options from foods you are not already cooking, they need to learn to eat the family meals. if she refuses, then take the food away and pop it in the fridge. if she complains she is hungry a little later, then bring the food out and heat it up and offer it again. she will eat if she is hungry. be persistant, she will not starve and will soon learn to give it a go. A reward of a sweet (for dessert or snack) can be offered IF she finishes the meal, or atleast has a certain number of mouthfulls.

Fair enough to not force her to eat the foods that she really truely doesnt like, but kids are pretty subborn and will say yuck to almost anything that looks healthy! The real challenge is getting them to atleast try it. Bottom line is eat the healthy stuff first and you can have a small amount of the sweet stuff!

[~MUMMY~]

ok my son is 3 and exactly the same... he wont eat whats offerd and i will throw it out... but then he goes and opens the fridge and freeezer and pantry and help himself to whatevers inside that apeals to him. (normally makes himself a peanut butter sandwich)

and when i "force" him to eat vegies he purposly makes himself spew so he can pretend he is sick and not have to eat them....

do i have to padlock the doors....lmao

ohh and if i dont feed him and send him to time out for going into the kitchen he crys so much he spews again....:barf:

im sick of cleaning spew... YUCK! my poor poor carpet.:(

[nicoleE]

i wonder what the 'force feeding' you are talking about really entails? You should not ever physically force feed. Leave them to it, encourage them to eat and dont offer alternatives. Keep a routine and stick to your guns.

Perhaps try a star chart or something as added incentive, get a star for every night of the week they eat their tea and if they get all their stars they get some kind of a treat.

Also the lure of having a nice yummy dessert after dinner waiting if they eat their tea (or atleast a portion of it) may help. Remember kids dont always eat allot at meal times so dont pile their plate high and demand they eat it all. Put small portions on their plate, if they finish it they can always have more and they will hopefully feel satisfied and perhaps proud to see an empty plate. Encourage the good behaviour, get clapping and have good encouraging words for another mouthful of food etc.

It is not nice to see your child become so upset that they are physically sick (or any child for that matter, i have no children of my own yet but it upsets me!) however you must find that inbetween place and stick to your guns but dont allow your child to hurt themselves. If they throw up, comfort them shortly and clean them up. Tell them they must remain in time out (if that is where they were) until their intended time is up (perhaps a stopwatch or something may help them understand this, or they may feel like they have been sitting there forever!) 1m for every year old they are is a general guideline. dont sit with them and try to ignore them (unless they are sick and you have to do what i described above).

these are just my opinions. as i said, i dont have any kids of my own yet however i did work in child care for a couple of years (with toddlers!) and have done a little nannying, i also have a keen interest in child behaviour.

[nicoleE]

Oh, and if your child purposely makes themself sick after eating the food, tell them that spoonfull didnt count ;) Remember they do things to get a reaction out of you so dont react or give them much more attention. Just clean up and set them up to get on with the rest of their meal. (just hope they dont aim for the plate of food! lol )

If they have to leave the table without eating anything then that is fine, you can win a stubbornness fight against your child! They may go to bed hungry but they will not starve.

Evan a chart with say, 5 spaces for each spoon full you want them to eat each night to cross off (they can do the crossing off) may help. when all are crossed off they can have that sweet that you know they would rather be eating!

An icecream sunday can look spectacular and special and include a banana and strawberries which may help to give them a treat that is actually pretty good for you! :fingerscrossed:

[Chickadee]

I think it's important to remember that all kids are different. The tricks or strategies that work for one may not work for everyone. As an example, on the nights that DD refuses dinner she has always woken up screaming with hunger in the middle of the night. And how am I supposed to convince a hysterical tired and hungry 2 year old that she can't have the cracker she's crying for at 3am??? So I now give a snack before bed if she refuses dinner. It may not be right, but it works better for us.

So with all parenting advice, read a lot and then use the bits that make sense & work for you and your daughter.

So back to the question... I do agree with not offering the foods you don't want them to have, and replace them with healthier options. Try baking potato wedges in the oven to replace deep fried chips or the oven=ready frozen ones. Toss the wedges in just a tablespoon or 2 of olive oil, spread out on a baking sheet and bake in a hot oven for 20-40 min, turning them over halfway through. Instead of cakes or sweets try making small pancakes - mix grated apple & zuccini into the batter and some cinammon too.

Get your daughter to pull a chair up to the counter and help you with the cooking. My 2 year old's cooking jobs include putting the cut up vegetables into bowls (and it's amazing how many she will taste or eat during that job but refuse when they're on her plate!), picking which eggs to use, counting spoonfuls or ingredients, stirring & mixing, helping to pour, shaking herbs or spices in to the mix or taking a pinch of them from my hand.

Cut snacks out or down. Don't make snacks so large or frequent that they become substitutes for a meal. And snacks should be healthy.

We also resort to turning the fork into an airplane and making a game of it going into her mouth. I know this is for babies, but DD loves it and will eat a lot of veg or other foods this way after she's refused them on her plate.

[Supermum]

Get your daughter to pull a chair up to the counter and help you with the cooking.
Great advice Martha - our kids love helping out, it gives them ownership and they're more likely to want to eat it!

[razzle]

Yep, I've found that helps me too Martha. Eloise loves helping me cook, she'll happily eat bits of carrot peel off the chopping board but will refuse it on her plate. She even ate LETTUCE off the chopping board.

[Chickadee]

She even ate LETTUCE of the chopping board
That's impressive. Chloe still refuses everything green with the exception of cucumbers & peas. But she will taste the green beans as she puts them in bowls and so that's progress.

Something I forgot to say: Alot of "experts" suggest that kids often need multiple exposures to a new food before they'll try it or eat it. So if DD refuses something don't stress, just try again with it in a few days, and again... and again if necessary. I think that's partly why getting them to help cook is useful.

DD also helps pick fruit and veg out at the supermarket - finding where the potatos are, putting them into the bag or cart for me, counting how many we get, etc.

[sopolicha]

I have found that if I give my 3 year old boy his veggies or salad first and tell him that when his plate is clean he can have his pasta/cheese/sausages or whatever else is going it works a treat. No veggies, nothing else.

I also agree with getting the kids involved in the kitchen. Or a veggie patch - not much makes it inside once they start picking stuff themselves.

[Ana Gram]

I think it's important to remember that all kids are different. The tricks or strategies that work for one may not work for everyone. As an example, on the nights that DD refuses dinner she has always woken up screaming with hunger in the middle of the night. And how am I supposed to convince a hysterical tired and hungry 2 year old that she can't have the cracker she's crying for at 3am??? So I now give a snack before bed if she refuses dinner. It may not be right, but it works better for us.



Yep, there is no way we would be able to put DD to bed with out dinner, I could do without that battle! DD is already stubborn as a mule and pretty much every suggestion so far DD would see through in two seconds! I am so looking forward to the teenage years.

[~MUMMY~]

lol when i said forced feed i didnt mean literally shoving it into his mouth the pushing it down his throat... i ment like... " ok you have to have a bit of that brocoli if you want to watch tv or if you want another drink etc....

and he isnt really sick ... HE MAKES HIMSELF PURPOSLY THROW UP. all he has to do is cough and stick his tounge out and out comes the spew... which is his way of saying... hahahahahaha if im sick i dont have to eat anything...

then 5 mins later he is raiding the fridge....

ohh and not feeding him before bed... he is 3 and still doesnt sleep the night through he wakes up already 3-4 times a night asking for drinks and whatever and if he doesnt get it suprise suprise i makes himself throw up to get what he wants then pretends to cry but once he has what he wants he instantly stops crying and is back to bed.
helping prepare food doesnt help either he still wont eat anything that looks like a vegie or tastes like a vegie.

fruits ok he eats that all the time but vegies... pfffffft ! :barf:

seriouisly my kid will go a whole day with no food if i dont give him any other options of food except healthy stuff. he compensates for not eating by drinking HEAPS of juice and water...

i've always given him vegies at meal times it isnt like im starting all of a sudden and expect him to eat it... even if i know he isnt going to eat it i will still serve them to him hoping one day he will just pick it up and eat it... yeah right.

ohh and what makes matters worse is at grandmas house where he is like all the time cause she always steals him he doesnt have to do anything he doesnt want to do.. and if i make him do something he he doesnt like he will say i wanna go to grandmas house and cry and cry and make himself sick again... :rolleyes:

[Baby Girl]

One thing I also do that helps is let DD dish up her own dinner. I put all the bits out in little bowls and let her choose how much of it she wants. We have a rule that if you dish up your own you have to eat all of it. It was a good way to teach her responsibility about what she eats as well as most is not always best!! She now knows she can go back for seconds if she has not had enough the first time round. She also has to at least try a small amount of everything, there aresome foods she outright hates but she will put them on her plate and nibble a tiny bit of it - sometimes she'll eat all of it and not even reallise!!

I personally don't agree with sending kids to bed without dinner or making them sit at the table until they finish every last bit. There has to be a middle ground otherwise they end up with poor relationships with food which can lead to health issues as they get older (not eating enough or eating too much etc).

At 2 they are at an age when they start to realise they can make some decisions for themselves - we decided that to help combat the "I want to do everything myself" issues DD was having by letting her do certain things herself. Such as, dishing her own dinner, getting her own snacks throughout the day (she has to check first incase it is too close to meal time and all the snack stuff in our fridge and cupboard is healthy now) and other things non food related.

[natasha]

My 14 month DD has just gone through a similiar stage and it does make you so worried!

I would prepare her meals for her and she would just turn her nose up at them,every meal time!! I sometimes wondered how she was surviving on nothing at all!!

What I learnt is that toddlers will eat when they want to eat. There is no point trying to make them eat! (believe me, iv tried) I also figured out that my DD is not nessesarily hungry at 'normal' meal times. She isn't hungry at breakfast and dinner times, she's hungry inbetween! So now I just follow HER eating plan throughout the day.

Also, I do agree that you have to let them try foods 10- 15 times before they actually decide wether or not they like it.

My DD Hated Banana, absolutely hated it! I couldn't get it anywhere near her so I stopped giving it to her. Then Grandma came over to stay with us. I got up one morning to find Grandma and DD both enjoying a banana!!!

Now she eats a whole one every day!!!:rolleyes: I felt bad because I had stopped giving it to her.

As for chips,nuggets and those kind of things, my DD didn't even know they existed till about2 months ago when Grandma came to stay:rolleyes:

Someone asked me once how I got my DD to eat brown bread. I simply said ' she doesn't know there is an alternative!':thumbsup:

Also, never substitue food with water or juice. You know how much they should or usually drink a day, if they are not eating, don't let them fill up on juice. Even when they ask for it, give them a very small amount because you will just make them full and likely to turn down any food you put infront of them.:rolleyes:

[Merlion]

when i was about 3 all i would eat for 6 months was noodles, pasta or something similar day in day out. so my mum made chicken noodles, pasta bolg etcc....... but it was really hard on fri as it was tradition for my family to eat fried fish and rice due to our religion of not eating meat on fridays. so they used to make soup with flakes fish and noodles. i outgrew out of it but still prefer noodles, pasta to rice. Hate fried fish.

One of my aunties rules was she put a small portion of each dish on her kids plate and as long as they took a small spoonful of it and ate it (even if they hated it) she didn't care. She always had peas and I hate them with a passion i used to take one pea in my spoon and swallow it (she used to pretend i had heaps).

But forcing them to eat something will make them really hate it when they are older. To this day I can still imagine the smell of fried fish on friday avros. We used to live on a street which out of the 20 houses every second house had fried fish on friday. YUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK KKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

[jessgray]

my son is pretty fussy and he is almost 1. he likes food he can pick up and eat like roast carrort and pumpkin etc. he hasnt tried nuggets yet im nto sure if 6 teeth is enough for those :laughing: but i would say kids love eating what they help make so maybe let her help you make dinner :)