New mum needs sleep training help!

[Mummalyn]

Hi all, I have been lurking for a while but after another sleepless night I decided it's time to join up and ask for some help!
My son is nearly four months. I have been letting him sleep in my bed with me since a few nights after his birth :o because it's just easier. But he wakes up a lot and I think maybe it's because he's in the bed with me.
How do I get him to sleep in his own bed? Letting him cry feels like it's ripping my heart out, is there any other way or do I need to just ignore him crying? :(

[punkbaby]

Its a huge thing for him to not sleep with you so its going to be strange for him. Have you tried putting him in his bed when his asleep so when he wakes up his familiar with where he is then he may get used to it? You could even get him into that half sleep/half awake stage and pop him into his bed and just sit by his bed so he knows that you are still there, even with your hand on his chest to help him settle. Gently stroking his face etc

What about a cot mobile or something bubs can just lay there and look at it and then maybe its not as horrible for him?

I cant really give much advice all my kids slept with me expect for number 4, shes been happy sleeping on her own since day one. I havent really tried the CC method but maybe someone who has can give you some tips on how to help out :)

Good luck with things hopefully you get some tips, i hate it when babies cry i cant handle it myself so i understand what you mean by the ripping your heart out.

[alphafemale2901]

Hi Mummalyn

I tried controlled crying with my first child and I found it to be rubbish and it broke my heart. Many people swear by it but I think it just teaches the child to get used to be abandoned.

My latest child is 8 weeks old and has spent a lot of time sleeping with me too - because it was just easier in that he would sleep well and for a long time. When he was about 3 weeks old I thought his little body being stuck in between his dad and I was probably a bit dangerous (having listened to a lot of guff about SIDS) so we started to process of getting him to sleep in his cot.

At first he none too impressed with being put in his cot and he woke frequently, crying his little heart out, which was quite distressing to both my husband and I. What we starting doing was warming the cot matress with a heat pillow for a few minutes before he went to bed and putting him asleep. If he stirred we would shush him and pat him bottom or belly. At first we seemed to be doing this for about 20 minutes ata time only for him to get a brief sleep, but with persistence the patting time has gotten less and the sleep time has increased. He can now sleep up to 7 hours through the night and if he stirs I stick a bottle in his mouth and he goes straight back to sleep. Giving him a bottle in bed is something you could try, although some 'experts' would cringe at the suggestion. Since then we have been able to put him into bed awake and sometimes he will put himself to sleep, sometimes he still needs a little help and of course sometimes he's just having a bad night (or day).

I think its important to teach them to be independent in their beds, but at the same time acknowledge that they are tiny little people who don't understand how important going to sleep is and that the line between tired and overtired can be easily crossed and so they need help. Also they are freakishly unpredictable and so just when you think you have them figured out they throw you a curve ball.

I still put my son into bed with me in the morning when his dad has gone to work, and we have a little sleep in together. Of course he sleeps perfectly for about 3-4 hours at this time (until about 10.30am) and I think this is because he can smell us in the bed.

Good luck.

Sarah:sunshine: