Need Help

[cindy74]

Dear all
I am writing from quiet far (Italy rome) ..and I am desperated. Need to receive suggestions and courage to go on with cc threat .
I have a 20 months baby and unfortunately as in italy there's no habits in teaching babies to self-settle he does not sleep at night yet (It is normal to have them in bed with us until 2-3 years old and more ....or it is normal to let them wake up 4-5 times at night and do what they want..play sing eat ...)
So I am totally alone as all my family does not support my choice and I don't know (me and my husband of course) if I am doing well or not.
Let me tell u thaT I have been practising this cc method since 6 days only and it is not giving positive results . This is why I am wondering if I am doing well or not.
Shortly we leave him (Valerio) at 9 after having greeted all teddy's plays photos...and switch off the light.He cries about 30-50 min than fall asleep (in that time we regularly go in every 5-10-15 min) .After 3 hours he wakes up and cries from 1 to 3 hours.
His doctor told me that as he is 20 months it is more difficult as he can speak ,can get off the bedd( we have been obliged to block th way out from his bedroom as he run away )and that if we renounce this will drastically worst the situation.In 8 weeks I'll have another baby and I am very worried ..
What do you think, does anyone had the same experience or not?
I am causing psicologically deseases to him or just giving a life lesson?
please reply at any time....
cinzia :fingerscrossed:

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[gizmoduckus]

Sorry, I am not in the same situation so I have no advice to give you.

:fingerscrossed: with it! Hopefully you can have it all sorted out before you have the next one.

[naiwen]

Hi there,
I am sure if you give him lots of love and affection he will not be emotionally scarred. Have you tried a night light? It might make him feel more secure in bed. I know some people sit in a chair next to the bed while they go to sleep without saying anything and then slowly move the chair further towards the door each night until their baby gets used too then not being in the room.
Also bath, bottle bed routine works well for a lot of people.
Hugs and hope it works out for you.

[Chookster]

I don't have any answers sorry, I'm here looking for help and inspiration for myself.

CC is really hard, even with lots of support, so I can't imagine how hard it is with so much pressure not to do it - you are very brave!!

If it makes you feel any better, even here in Aus with access to lots of info and 1,000's of success stories I still feel confused, sad, guilty and just terrible about cc.

Give lots of love and extra hugs to reassure your little boy and I'm sure everything will turn out.

:hugs: to you. Good luck with your new sleeping arrangements and with your new little one too!!

[Susan78]

It sounds like you are doing it tough! All babies are different and I presume the older they are the harder they are to get into a new routine. If CC doesnt start to work or you are finding it too hard, have a look at the sleeping/settling posts, there might be something to help there. Good luck!

[cindy74]

Thank all for suggestions.Yes I can confirm that with older babies is absolutely very much harder. Now we have been obliged to suspend the CC as Valerio (that's his name) does want to sleep in his room anymore, he hates his bed, and starts crying as soon as we take the book for reading a tale.
So he now associates the routine to the suffering of being left alone, and so it takes much more time to fall asleep and awakes during the night more often

We are now in a even worst situation as he is not comforted by our presence ...we must work to reassure him that his room is nice, his bed too,etcetc ...let him understand that we are there...
That means begin again from the start.
Maybe I'll try with the solution of the chair , I think can be more indicated for him.
Thank you for support!
:wave:

[pickles]

You are really in a difficult situation. In many cultures ( European , asian setc ) it is 'normal for children to be up with parents until they go to bed at night. At present CC may not be an option for you because in 8 weeks time when you welcome a new baby into the household you may find that you are too tired to keep it up ( especially because toddlers seem to regress when a new baby is born ). My advice to you would to be establish a bedtime 'ritual' ie - the same thing every night. bath, quiet time, read a book etc. You may have better luck putting a mattress on your bedroom floor and getting him to sleep there. Alot easier to settle him just by saying 'mummys here go back to sleep'. Avoid having him in your bed from the beginning of starting this. let him know it is okay to sleep on 'his' bed next to you but not in your bed. Once you have the bedtime ritual down and he is going to sleep without drama , start working toward getting him back to his own bed. The easiest way to do that is help him pick new sheets / a night light / comforter ( my son holds a small torch to go to bed in case he wakes u p frightened ).

It is really hard to do CC if you have no support from anyone.

Good luck

Pickle
DD 02/03
Ds 03/05

[mrsd]

Hi there,
I am sure if you give him lots of love and affection he will not be emotionally scarred. Have you tried a night light? It might make him feel more secure in bed. I know some people sit in a chair next to the bed while they go to sleep without saying anything and then slowly move the chair further towards the door each night until their baby gets used too then not being in the room.
Also bath, bottle bed routine works well for a lot of people.
Hugs and hope it works out for you.

I have heard the chair idea, too, and while I haven't tried it it is probably very effective.

20mths is a difficult age and is especially difficult when Valerio probably senses the changes taking place in your family, too. When Francis was 18 -24 mths last year he would often wake in the night wanting reassurance and I found that a cuddle and rocking was sometimes the only way to get him to go to sleep, despite his having slept through the night quite well before that from 2mths or so ! The problem eventually resolved itself - he hasn't woken in the night for ages, thank goodness.

Losing sleep when you're pregnant can be quite hard but I found that I couldn't listen to him cry for very long either - I lost sleep either way !

Usually strict bedtime routines are very effective - it has worked for all of my children - but there are lots of reasons why children sometimes need a bit of extra reassurance that Mum / Dad are there and love them.

It's hard to find the balance between providing reassurance and pandering to their whims - I don't have the answers but the more children I have, the more I'm coming to the conclusion that it is best to trust our instincts.

Good luck - it must be very difficult with such little support. I hope that the problem is resolved soon so that you can enjoy both of your little blessings!

[bibi]

Dear all
I am writing from quiet far (Italy rome) ..and I am desperated. Need to receive suggestions and courage to go on with cc threat .
I have a 20 months baby and unfortunately as in italy there's no habits in teaching babies to self-settle he does not sleep at night yet (It is normal to have them in bed with us until 2-3 years old and more ....or it is normal to let them wake up 4-5 times at night and do what they want..play sing eat ...)
So I am totally alone as all my family does not support my choice and I don't know (me and my husband of course) if I am doing well or not.
Let me tell u thaT I have been practising this cc method since 6 days only and it is not giving positive results . This is why I am wondering if I am doing well or not.
Shortly we leave him (Valerio) at 9 after having greeted all teddy's plays photos...and switch off the light.He cries about 30-50 min than fall asleep (in that time we regularly go in every 5-10-15 min) .After 3 hours he wakes up and cries from 1 to 3 hours.
His doctor told me that as he is 20 months it is more difficult as he can speak ,can get off the bedd( we have been obliged to block th way out from his bedroom as he run away )and that if we renounce this will drastically worst the situation.In 8 weeks I'll have another baby and I am very worried ..
What do you think, does anyone had the same experience or not?
I am causing psicologically deseases to him or just giving a life lesson?
please reply at any time....
cinzia :fingerscrossed:


http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/images/misc/progress.gif

Hi don t know if this is much help but i went by this book i called it the sleep bible and i followed it by ten weeks my bub slept through and is doing so ever since.The book is called sleep unf.i can t remember the authors name i think her first name is beatrice its not new its from england maybe you can order it over the internet every one who read it and followed it has a good sleeping bub give it a try good luck let me know if you found it

[bibi]

Hi don t know if this is much help but i went by this book i called it the sleep bible and i followed it by ten weeks my bub slept through and is doing so ever since.The book is called sleep unf.i can t remember the authors name i think her first name is beatrice its not new its from england maybe you can order it over the internet every one who read it and followed it has a good sleeping bub give it a try good luck let me know if you found it 03-03-2008 11:56 PM

[PrincessT]

Ciao Cinzia,
You seem to be having much difficulties and I was thinking that perhaps its because as others have said, you need a routine for Valerio.
My husband and I spent 2 months in Italy last year (mia famiglia e italiano) and my daughter had much difficulty in sleeping because of the different pattern we lead in Italy. Every night, we ate dinner late, we went for a passigiata, we did not bath her the same time every night and within days of us having this style she had horrible sleep. It was especially hard as our family in Italy thought it was ok for her to be picked up a lot, sleep with her parents and rocked to sleep.
I think you need to estabish a nice environment in Valerio's room, spend some time in there during the day reading and talking. Tell him that its his room and how special it is - build up his trust in the area. When he is happy to be in there, then you can tackle the issue of his sleep.
I also would reserach sleep books dedicated to toddlers. Hope this helps.
Ciao