Has your mind been changed because of information read on Bubhub?

[the_queen]

I was just wondering how many parents have decided NOT to circumcise their newborn son, based on information they've been exposed to here on Bubhub.

There's always some frustration on the part of intactivists because we tend to think "is anyone really listening to what we're saying?"

So have you changed your mind, because of information you've read on Bubhub? We'd love to hear your story! I hope this will make for a positive and happy thread.

[Beany]

Nope - it was changed prior to me having a baby due to my bulldozer husband. But it did help cement my decision :yes:

[forbetoel]

I haven't personally changed my mind on anything but I know that for some it has made a huge difference.

Look forward to hearing from other people....great thread :thumbsup:

[the_queen]

Nope - it was changed .... due to my bulldozer husband.

Oh now come on. I can't believe that!!! :p

[TwoBlue]

Before my first DS was born I believed that seeing as DH was a penis owner it was his call... thankfully he decided to leave DS alone...

since then and since joining BubHub I now feel very passionate about it and would have been so upset if I had of done DS#1

[veve]

Nope - it was changed prior to me having a baby due to my bulldozer husband. But it did help cement my decision :yes:
*blinks* bulldozer??? surely not .. *snigger*

ummm I dont think bubhub CHANGED my mind .. but it gave me the information and the incentive to bring the topic up with family members :yes:... and when I did I was very surprised.. my parents were actually anti anyway .. which I never knew ..

in all honesty .. once my boys were born .. I dont think I COULD have done it .. the idea of vaccinations (which I do .. do ) .. makes me feel horrid - the scream .. the needle .. sigh .. I cant imagine actually allowing someone to circ my boys ... (I would probably get in there .. the process would start and I would lunge at the doctor :laughing:) ..

xx
Jen

[TJ]

Yep it did for me.
I was ALL for it as it was the "done thing", and so was my husband even tho he has not been circ.

It wasn't until I started reading on here, and then doing my own "research" that I decided against doing it. And watching quite a few clips on you tube was the real clincher for me.

So a BIG THANK YOU!! You sure opened my eyes, to something that I was a bit
nieve about previously. :D

[Mamaduke]

The thing that changed my mind was seeing my first son for the first time. Up until then I always thought that any son of mine would be circumcised.
After seeing him everything changed...I almost scratched the nurse's face for doing the heel pr*ck on him so there was no way anyone was coming near my little boy for something that was not medical necessity.

[studyingECS]

You know what...I used to think if I ever had a son he will be circumsized, because I was nieve...Now if I ever have a son he will NOT be circumsized...so even though I dont have a child yet..reading the infomation has certainly changed my mind about it for any future son/s I might have.

[SalTheGal]

The opinions expressed on bubhub have changed my mind on many things....but not circumcision. I am still satisfied with my choice to circ my son.

[Myztik]

It hasn't changed my mind as such, I had no intention of having my boys done to start with BUT I had no real valid reason for not doing it, it just didn't 'feel' right. Since joining bubhub I now have good argument points when MIL or anyone ask why I didnt have it done.

[DivinelySophistimicated]

I don't have a son as yet but I always assumed that I would get him circumcised as it was the "done thing".

Now, however, after reading peoples pont of views it swayed my mind...It also pushed me to do an english assignment on the subject of "Circumcision not being necessary"....I got a DISTINCTION :)

So yes BubHub changed my mind :)

[Shanaynay]

^ That's awesome! :yelclap:


Well I did not like the idea of circumcision before coming to Bubhub, but things I've read on BH have just given me MORE reasons why not to :D

[Blueberry Crumble]

What is with it being the "done thing?"

i would have thought that 30 years ago, but I never would have thought it was the done thing today

[veve]

What is with it being the "done thing?"

i would have thought that 30 years ago, but I never would have thought it was the done thing today
I think its mainly because 30 odd years ago .. daddy WAS done (as it was the done thing) - lots of dad's initially say that they want their sons to look like they do .. ??? does that make sense??

xx
Jen

[*Cj*]

No it has't and would't. Its all up to my DH. If he wants to get bubs done, then he can. Its all up to him.

[Mamaduke]

What is with it being the "done thing?"

i would have thought that 30 years ago, but I never would have thought it was the done thing today
I thought that too but not long after Jesse was born I went out with a group of women for dinner...there were 6 of us and I was the only one who's son was not circumcised - they all looked at me with pity.

[veve]

No it has't and would't. Its all up to my DH. If he wants to get bubs done, then he can. Its all up to him.
I would really be interested if your opinion changes once you have that bubs .. just for curiousity .. I was originally - meh .. DH has a penis .. let him make the decision... but .. that certainly changed once my boys arrived ..

xx
Jen


I thought that too but not long after Jesse was born I went out with a group of women for dinner...there were 6 of us and I was the only one who's son was not circumcised - they all looked at me with pity.
:laughing: stand proud mamaduke (I dont think you are one to tolerate pity anyway :laughing:)

one of my friends joking says - boys spend their whole lives measuring the damn things- why on EARTH would you make it shorter??? even by a few mm?? :laughing:

xx
Jen

[Shanaynay]

^ haha :laughing:

[Tam-I-Am]

I never believed in circ for MY sons anyway (if I'm ever blessed with any :)) - but it confirmed the reasons why I don't believe in it.

Its also taught me compassion and a lot about diversity though.

[kymmy]

I am glad for bubhub as it has helped me feel less alone about my feelings on parenting.
I don't think it has changed my thinking that much - but it has helped me to accept that I can do things my way and trust my instincts.

Re: circumcison. My husband wanted to get the boys done. But I guess because I thought it was a non issue it didn't get done.

[prideNJoy]

I was just wondering how many parents have decided NOT to circumcise their newborn son, based on information they've been exposed to here on Bubhub.

There's always some frustration on the part of intactivists because we tend to think "is anyone really listening to what we're saying?"

So have you changed your mind, because of information you've read on Bubhub? We'd love to hear your story! I hope this will make for a positive and happy thread.

Yes, absolutely.

I was planning on having our DS circ'd as most (i say most because my youngest bro, 3yrs old is intact & my DP is intact also) of the males in my family are circ'd, and i truly believed that i would have been doing it for 'cleanliness/health reasons'.

So i owe a big thanks to MotherNurture for her very informative threads, articles and video clips. :yelclap:

[Lila]

probably OPENED it to things i never had thought about before....

[*Cj*]

I would really be interested if your opinion changes once you have that bubs .. just for curiousity .. I was originally - meh .. DH has a penis .. let him make the decision... but .. that certainly changed once my boys arrived ..

xx
Jen

No If he wants it done then no I don't get a say in it. He wants it done as he did't have his first son done. HIs son could't keep it clean and had so much pain.

I have said to him, if bubs gets it done. He will be the one taking him. He'll be having time of work to look after him till it heals. His not to bring him back to me till his all right and not crying.

So in saying all that I can't see DH taking time of to go and get it done. But it will be up to him. Just like most stuff in this house is lift up to him.

[Shanaynay]

Hey, I wonder, has BH changed anyones mind from against to FOR circ? :detective:

[punkbaby]

I never even thought about it to be honest prior and after when i had a boy that was it there was never any discussion if we would circumsize or not nothing was ever bought up about it. I would still be doing the same if my last was a boy too :)

I think though its helped alot think about it a little more :)

[Noah_and_Elijah]

I've always been anti-circ but it wasn't until I joined Bub Hub that I realised just how many poor little boys out there are still undergoing this (IMO) painful procedure.

Bub Hub has just helped cement those beliefs. :thumbsup:

[my_lot]

There has not been one word said, not one video played or one link for photos looked at, that has made me stand on a pedastool and look down on parents who circ their sons.

so no hasnt changed my mind against circumcision.

[Pixie]

The short answer is NO :D it helped confirm my choices but that's it.

[MotherNurture]

Yes, absolutely.

I was planning on having our DS circ'd as most (i say most because my youngest bro, 3yrs old is intact & my DP is intact also) of the males in my family are circ'd, and i truly believed that i would have been doing it for 'cleanliness/health reasons'.

So i owe a big thanks to MotherNurture for her very informative threads, articles and video clips. :yelclap:

:hugs:

I'm so glad the information has been thought-provoking and helpful. Kudos to you for being open-minded and researching the issue for yourself. (((hugs)))

Jen

[forbetoel]

Hey, I wonder, has BH changed anyones mind from against to FOR circ? :detective:

I would highly doubt, there doesn't seem to be any strong (or any) argument for it.

[~Bec~]

No.

I watched a documentary many years ago about a man who was traumitised because he had been circ'd and he felt it was a violation and was trying to grow it back. THat kind of cemented it for me. I always thought if it's there it's there for a reason, nature knows better than me etc so wouldn't have had it done anyway but that show made me realise the consquences later on.

[shed]

hmm, I dunno if it changed my mind. I don't think I would have let anyone near my baby with a sharp instrument anyway. I doubt that DP would either.

I still don't feel that strongly about it for other people, I just feel that we have made the best decision for our own boy.

I am happy that uncirced is more popular these days because he will be the same as his little school friends. I think that is more important than him being the same as his Dad. They're the ones who will be doing the p!ssing contests and the comparing in the locker room type male stuff, whatever the hell it is they do.

Its just not an issue for us now. The decision has been made and forgotten about and unless there is a medical reason to re-address it then it remains a non-issue.

What does annoy me a bit is that all the males on both sides of the family were victims of RIC, so now we don't know if DS is prone to any problems. It would be nice to have some warning of these things, that tend to run in families, but when they've all had their foreskins lopped off you never know.

[justmum]

BH hasn't changed my mind about elective circumcision. I don't believe in it. Never have, never will.

However it has changed my opinions or strengthened them in a lot of areas such converting me into a cloth user, making me commit to being a long term breast feeder for any future babies I may be blessed with and strengthened my views against controlled crying.

On the whole it has moved me from a person without a particular parenting philosophy to a parent with a definite bent (although not absolute commitment because DS just WILL NOT co-sleep no matter how hard I try :D) toward attachment parenting.

[MotherNurture]

No If he wants it done then no I don't get a say in it. He wants it done as he did't have his first son done. HIs son could't keep it clean and had so much pain.

His concerns are valid, but may be based on a misunderstanding about when a foreskin is supposed to retract and how parents should be caring for young, intact boys.

Did anyone retract his first son's foreskin? At what age? How were they "cleaning" it? What was causing the pain? If an infection was suspected, how was it diagnosed and treated? Was it a genetic condition? Is there any reliable indication that future sons would experience the same problem? Statistically the chance of a boy ever needing to be circumcised for medical reasons is just 1%. Conversely, the risk of complications from a routine infant circumcision such penile adhesions, meatal stenosis, etc. are MUCH higher.


I have said to him, if bubs gets it done. He will be the one taking him. He'll be having time of work to look after him till it heals. His not to bring him back to me till his all right and not crying.

I'm going to present you with a hypothetical situation as an analogy. It's not intended to be a direct comparison, it's intended to provoke thought about the "He's the one with the penis." rationale.

Let's say your husband was disciplined as a child by being whipped with a belt. Maybe his father's father punished him the same way, too. Perhaps your husband doesn't feel violated or abused, and in retrospect recognizes that he deserved it, he it was an effective deterrent, he learned from his mistakes, and essentially whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger.

Now, let's suppose you were expecting a baby and were discussing parenting styles and he advocated that if you had a boy he, too, should be disciplined with a belt. He might argue that it'll make him tougher, he doesn't want a sissy boy, if he's wimpy he'll be teased by his peers, etc. Besides, it was done to him and he turned out just fine/doesn't feel that he has any lasting damage or trauma from the experience.

Do you agree and leave the decision up to him since he's a man, he experience it, and there's no clear signs of damage (other than a compulsion to continue the tradition)?


So in saying all that I can't see DH taking time of to go and get it done. But it will be up to him. Just like most stuff in this house is lift up to him.

What's your responsibility going to be to your *child* though? Is protecting your child from unnecessary harm going to be your responsibility? Does keeping your child safe and healthy and whole come before or after your husband's preferences/demands? Would you ever consider leaving a partner who was physically or sexually abusive to your child?

Do you have your own, independent opinion on circumcision? Do you believe the foreskin has functions? Do you know what they are? Do you know the risks of the procedure? Did you know *you* have a foreskin?

Jen

[OneBabyBoy]

No not me - I wasn't going to circ my son anyway.

However I do think that the "intactivists" here on bubhub (in general) are a little too aggressive. I understand that they feel passionately about it but that doesn't mean that being all gung-ho is the best approach. Labelling people "child abusers" etc (even if you DO think they are child abusers) is just as likely to make them tune out to you and no longer listen at all. Attack is not the best way to deal with any situation. Changing the way they try to "convert" people will probably save a lot more little boys from this procedure.

The way MotherNuture (as above) explains and describes things is more the way to go. I'd say that if anyone has been converted it would most likely be by this method. Good on you MN :thumbsup:

[Eloise&Charlie'sMum]

I deffinately can thank bub hub for helping make my decision on not circumcising any little boy I may give birth too...

I have a 2 year old daughter so never put much thought into it the first time round but this prengnacy everyone including myself has a feeling this could be a boy so i wanted to be informed this time around.

The info bub hub has provided me for both the for and gainst sides of the debate has helped solidly set my husband and I too agree 100 % that it is not a procedure we will ever under take on our baby boy, my husband is not circumcised but this by now way swayed our decision, it was the clear and factual evidence bub hub brought public for us. This is just what we feel will work for our family but by no means we think unkindly of anyone who choose to circumcise their child.