Today I feel like I hate her.

[UmmInayah]

I know this is going to be so disturbing to some mothers, but seriously, today I just hate my DD.

Last night she refused to sleep for 3 hours between 2 am and 5 am. She is lying in her cot at the moment talking to herself and will not sleep.

I am exhausted. I need for her to sleep or she will be so clingy and I can't deal with that today. I have no one around who understands and no one I really feel like talking to.

Just feeling like absolute cr@p today. Sigh.

[~Kimba~]

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:
I think we've all had days and feelings like this - even if many of us never admit it.

It's healthy to acknowledge how you're feeling and recognise that it's not that you actually 'hate' your DD, it's just utter exhaustion and hating the situation - which is perfectly natural when you're sleep deprived, as well as feeling isolated and frustrated.

You know you're a great mum. Hang in there: "This too shall pass!"

[cath]

:hugs: You poor thing.

Do you have a car? Can you put her in the car and go for a long picturesque drive somewhere? When my 2 wouldn't sleep a while go I would put them both in the car, grab my favourite CD and go for a long drive along the coast. It always made them both sleep and just driving along the beach and listening to some music helped my mood. I would then look back at their peaceful sleeping faces and be filled with love - they always look beautiful asleep don't you think?

I know it is annoying (especially when you want to do stuff or sleep yourself). You somehow just have to push yourself through it and try and remember tomorrow is another day and hopefullly will be a better one.

[ButterflyMama]

Awww huge hugs babe
Put on a DVD you like, plonk her in front of it and eat a packet of chocolate biscuits. ;)

[twitch]

You poor thing :hugs:

Just remember that this is only one day, tomorrow will be better, completely different.

[tobmac]

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs: you are only human i am having a bad day too so lots of hugs and support to you wish we lived near each other then maybe we could lock the kids in a room together :laughing:

[DivinelySophistimicated]

:hugs: Leave her to soothe herself to sleep, save your sanity.

The car drive was a very good idea and even putting her in front of a movie...Hold in there :hugs:

[4babycinos]

Do you have a car? Can you put her in the car and go for a long picturesque drive somewhere? When my 2 wouldn't sleep a while go I would put them both in the car, grab my favourite CD and go for a long drive along the coast. It always made them both sleep and just driving along the beach and listening to some music helped my mood. I would then look back at their peaceful sleeping faces and be filled with love - they always look beautiful asleep don't you think?


:iagree: What a fantastic Idea.

:hugs: Marna - we all have these days.

[Alleykat]

First of all, good on you for being very honest and asking for help.
Thats fantastic, so many mums these days seem to never ever have a blue day, when in truth i am sure we all have them.

I know what you are going thru, I have problems with my DD's sleep. Sometimes it drives me ga-ga, but I know she doesnt mean it. Place a cute picture of her near her cot, so when you are pulling your hair out you are softened at the picture.
Could you be unwell or teething also that might be disrupting her sleep?
My DD doesnt sleep well at night so I sleep back in the morning when she has her sleeps. When she has shockers of a night, i just pop her into bed with me. I know that might be a no-no to many mums but it works and we both get rest and to me thats whats important for that time.
It will get better and years from now alll this will be a blur.
If it keeps going and you are feeling more and more blue, maybe you could even get someone to sit with her whilst you get some time out time, or even go for a walk, fresh air does wonders, and just know there are many mums out there that are frustrated and tired too!!! Baby steps.. Try rest when she does! Hang in there..

[Fuchsia!]

I have lots of those days, its so hard and i know exactly how you feel. Being a mum isn't all rosey and there are days you will feel like this and its totally normal.

What others have said is a great idea, take her for a drive or a walk, go do some shopping or something.

Hope tomorrow is a better day for you :hugs:

[SalTheGal]

Don't be hard on yourself Marna....we ALL have days like that!

Going for a drive is a good idea....as is lying down yourself, even if she is talking in her cot it is still a chance for you to get a powernap in....go take yourself and lie down now while you have the chance!!!!

:hugs::hugs::hugs:

[WorkingClassMum]

What you are feeling is normal and natural. It's not nice to feel this way but as some stage all parents feel this way - even if just fleetingly so.

Remember that it is what you bubs is doing that you don't like, it's not bubs herself:hugs:

Is there anyone that can have bubs for even an hour or so?

If not, take bubs for a long walk or a drive, and get a cup of coffee and some fresh air.

If you get really stressed, it doesn't hurt to pop bubs into bed, let her have a cry, and go outside and have a cry yourself.

If the feelings persist for longer than 24 hours - go and see your Dr. There is no shame in not coping.

[the_queen]

Have a big cry honey, it will make you feel so much better. Some babies have unsettled periods before a growth spurt, I promise you that this challenging time will pass :hugs: :hugs:

:hugs: :hugs:

:hugs: :hugs:

[Bronnie]

Hi hun,
I've read a few of your posts, and I know you're not keen on CC.
I was living an absolute nightmare, DD didn't nap AT ALL during the day, and would take forever to settle at night as she was over-tired.
She would then wake every hour wanting a boob cause that was how I got her to sleep and it became a psychological association.
I finally found a book called "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" by Dr. Richard Ferber (recommended here on BH). I used his "Progressive Waiting Technique" which I think may be a watered-down version of CC.
We were seeing results after 1 night, and now DD only wakes once between 7pm and 7am. She is also napping for 1.5 - 2hrs twice a day!
Good luck with whatever approach you use, it won't be like this forever you can count on it!

[the_queen]

Ferber doesn't advocate his previously published methods anymore. He has acknowledged that they are inappropriate.

If you do want some 'professional guidance' try www.askdrseasr.com and find his page about sleeping and settling techniques. I think it's more in line with your parenting philosophy :hugs:

[MilkOnTap]

Ohhh honey :hugs:

Jedd was a bit all over the shop last night too. This morning I put him in the pram and went for an hour long walk. My legs are killing me now, but he is always quiet when we're out - either quietly looking around, or quietly asleep!!

Would that help??

:hugs:

[Lilyloo]

Oh Marna... I know exactly how you feel. I was having a day like that yesterday, today isn't much better! I am exhusted like you, DDs sleep is all over the place again, and it doesn't help that she is teething and has a terrible cold.

Anyway.. just wanted you to know you're not alone.. I hope your day gets better! :)

[*~alegna~*]

:hugs:, I can relate. Tomorrow is another day.

[Bronnie]

Ferber doesn't advocate his previously published methods anymore. He has acknowledged that they are inappropriate.

If you do want some 'professional guidance' try www.askdrseasr.com and find his page about sleeping and settling techniques. I think it's more in line with your parenting philosophy :hugs:

OMG are you serious? How did you hear that? Why didn't I hear about that?
Everything is so confusing, do I have to research products up to the minute before I buy them?
You'd think you'd be able to trust that a book wouldn't be on a shelf if it had been denounced by the author.
I'm so sick of thinking I got something right to have it blow up in my face with this parenting gig...
Sorry, mini tanty...
Where's MY mummy? Lol

[ThisIsLiving]

:hugs: I hope your wee one has had a nap for you by now and you got a much-needed break and rest too. :hugs:

Its completely normal to feel this way. We ALL have days like this so please don't feel guilty or bad. On days where DS is playing up or I am feeling like cr@p, I find that I feel a whole lot better if I get out of the house - I just go for a walk down the street and just seeing other people and being out in the world (and not trapped in my 4 walls at home) seems to help me alot.

:hugs: I hope your day gets better hon. Tomorrow is another day. Take it one day at a time. :hugs:

[MrsMiggins]

I can understand how frustrating & well, debilitating it is to have a child who refuses to sleep! My DS has always been a shocking sleeper (since the 3-month mark, anyway), but just as he was starting to improve, he's been unwell & it has totally upset the apple cart!!

Last night, for instance, he was difficult to get to sleep, and then woke every single hour until 6am, when he refused to go back to sleep.

This morning he was so incredibly tired & cranky and I managed to get him down for a nap at 11am,. only to have him wake at 11.05 & not go back down. :rolleyes:

The best advice I can give you is that you have to remember it is all a stage. As difficult as this all is, she will grow out of it. (My DD was also a shocker & now at 2 years old, she is a dream! I honestly can't remember what all the fuss was about!) I know that doesn't help you right at this moment, but it can make things more bearable when you can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Cath's idea of a nice long drive (or perhaps a walk in the pram?) is a great one!

[benji's_mum]

Do you have someone who can take her for a few hours so you can get some rest?

When DS is like this we make a little nest of quilts on the lounge floor and stick on a dvd. He usually nods off in no time and so do I :sleeping:

[Sheer Bliss]

I haven't read all the replies sorry, but wanted to give you big :hugs:. It isn't disturbing that you feel this way - it sounds like a really bad day/night & normal!

Sending sleep :goodvibes: your way & i hope your day has improved.

[Alekay]

Just wanted to give you some :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

[toni796]

:hugs: I think we all have these days only we don't all like to admit it lol.....Just remember tomorrow is a new day and things can only get better......Maybe she is teething or feeling a little off colour and that is why she had a bad night.

[Js Mum]

I have a baby with silent reflux, so I know how you feel. I got sick of people telling me I exagerate, so I timed them - they sleep for a huge 5.5 hours in a 24 hr period...

Hopefully the meds will kick in soon, but it's been 10 weeks of this so far - god knows how long it is going to take me to teach her that sleeping laying down does NOT equal pain and Sshe CAN do it on her own...

Her father isn;t much help either - he thinks looking after the baby s the mothers job and if I need help I should ask for it, but not after he's just got home from work and needs to wind down - so yep, could kill him too

[UmmInayah]

Wow! I cannot believe there are so many responses. Thanky ou so much for all the replies and the understanding. I am so grateful to know I am not the only one out there who has days like these. I always thought it wasn't right for me to feel this way, but I had to let it out. I feel so much better already.

I ended up going to my mum's place. She was so helpful. Even though I was still there with DD, and she only had a 20 min nap, she was not grizzly or clingy.. she was just happy to see her grandma :)

Thank you again everyone for all the support. I don't know what I would do without BH :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

[danik]

I know what you're talking about.

When I have felt like this I get out of the house-go for a long walk, a drive with some nice scenery, shopping or go visiting. It makes me feel better and takes my mind off her sleeping problems (and I'm pretty analytical about them) and it distracts her from getting clingy with me.

Hang in there, tomorrow is another day.

[dragonflyblu]

I'm so sick of thinking I got something right to have it blow up in my face with this parenting gig...


:laughing::hissy::hair::gloomy: there just aren't enough of these emoticons to express the shear emotional roller coaster being a parent is.

[reAllytee]

I have plenty of these days !

Be kind to yourself & hopefully the coming days will be much kinder.

[taliistheword]

i know how u feel lovely
my little monkey was so clingy today is wasn't silly, i had to go in to the mothers room to have a been of a cry and try and putt her to sleep
so i know how u feel she has been like this for about a month now

[LittleMissyMoo]

Aww hun, don't feel like you're the only one. Well done for expressing your frustration it'll make you feel better to let it out. Believe me when I say EVERY mother has days like this, especially through the teething times! trick is to find ways that help you and DD get through the day.
Get into your PJ's and cuddle with DD on the couch in front of a baby einstein DVD.
Run a cool bath and get in together for play and relaxing cuddles.
Put some music on and lay in bed together - you may both drift off to sleep.
Once you've made it through the day go to bed very early and get some Zzzzzzz