helpful advice PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[abo84]

I need to hear some of your views, and any advice you have will help me, I feel selfish and like I am going crazy.

I grew up on a 40 acre block in Brisbane, it took 35- 40 mins to get into the centre of brisbane, so it was not remote at all, we had lots of horses, a few cows and one sheep and chooks.

I thought it was a great way to grow up, best of both worlds sort of thing.

My husband, he grew up on a cattle station in complete woop woop! he was there his whole life, they also had goats and a horse stud,

when he was 17 years old his dad had a nasty fall, that left him with brain damage and unable to walk or talk and care for himself, so they sold the farm and moved to brisbane to be near him, and so he could have all the facilaties he needed.

I met my husband about 3 months after they moved here, That was 6 years ago now, and in that time we have , married, had 2 beautiful babies and brought a home together (which is on a house block, all we could afford in brisbane) His dad has since passed away.

I have often complained that we have no room, cant keep a horse etc, and we both agree that our kids are missing out on things that we grew up with.

But still I thought we were happy,???

As it turns out we had a talk about moving the other night, and we could only afford a bit of land if we moved out towards laidley area, which is closer to his work and still not woop woop really.

But now hubby has spoken to me about how he is really a farmer, has not known anything else, and he is not unhappy in his current job, but it is not what he wants forever, I do trust him, and his plan sounds great, I know he is not the type of person to ask his family to dosomething like this, just because he feels like it, he is very sensible.

To make this short, he wants to buy a huge amount of land and build up our own buisness from there, like what he grew up on, but not as big.

I understand all of this, I really do, but these places are so far away, and the amount of land he is talking about, you wont be able to see anyone, and the mail comes once a week?!?!

I know some of you on here are thinking i am a bit of a dill, cause your living that or are in much more remote areas, But I have not known anything like this, I have no idea about farming, none.

I am feeling very selfish, because all I did was throw a :hissy::hissy::hissy: and said if he wants to go, he can do it on his own.

I love him, i do understand really, he is very country, but, Im not worried about our kids, I think it would be great for them, I just dont know how I would cope:confused:

Has anyone been in a simular situation?
Any advice? Please?

[mum1986]

i have never been in a situation like that, but still i don't think you are being selfish at all. is it worth saying to him maybe he can find some work on a station or something like that just as a trial run for a yr.
then if it does work, you will more than likely be really busy, but when your not there is the internet and phones. i know i couldn't do it, living in town i still go 3-4 days without seeing any other adult and i go a little bit crazy.:hair:
if he really is serious about this though you may just have to bite your tounge and agree, as the yrs go by if he was really serious he may start to resent you for not letting him try.

good luck to you and your hubby, make sure you let him know how you feel though. being a farmer he may have some idea about how other farmers wives deal with the lonliness, or at the very least he should know so a decision can be made properly and if you do go then he can try his hardest to support you.

[misskittyfantastico]

I met my DH when I was 18 and he was 21. I was vaguely aware that his parents were farmers but he (like me) was living in the city and he had no intention of ever being a farmer. So we went along our merry way but after a few years, he started mentioning farming and wanting to maybe go back. At first, I told him that there was no way I could live on a farm or in a small town - it just wasn't me. Eventually though, I realised that I wanted to be with him and I wanted him to be happy. We decided to try it for a year and see how we went.

That was 5 years ago now. Don't get me wrong, it was a HUGE adjusment and there were plenty of times that I was plain miserable - at harevst and seeding, I'm generally STILL miserable! BUT I got involved in the community - I travel 2 1/2 hours (one way) for a game of hockey some weekends (well worth it though;)). I joined the playgroup, started a cafe with a bunch of other farmers wives - it was really about starting a new life. That was something I was prepared to have a bloody good go at, for DH and for myself...I didn't move to a station though, so I really don't know what that would be like.

I don't think you are selfish AT ALL for not wanting to move, you just have to decide what you're willing to do and what you're not.

[abo84]

Thanks guys, a year trial does seem like a good idea, I do want to give it a go,

How much space do you all live on?
What sort of farming do you do?

[funnyfarm]

bump