Has anyone chosen an elective c-section and regretted it?

[kas3]

Hi everyone,

Two days ago I had my first ob appointment. (I am 7 weeks and everything is fine.)

My DH mentioned that I am feeling anxious about childbirth and that my GP had suggested the possibility of a c-section.

My ob was really good (IMO). He didn't try to push me either way, and basically said that he would support whatever I wanted. (Which was a huge relief.)

However, he did stress that I need to consider how many children I want - three is the max. advised, which isn't a problem because I don't plan to have more than three - and also consider if I might regret the decision - in that once I have one c-section, I may not be able to ever have a v-birth.

I don't think that would bother me. But I am curious to know if any mums have regretted their decision to have a c-section.

(I'm talking about 'true' elective c-sections - those where the mums opted to have a c-section for personal reasons, as opposed to mums who are advised to have a c-section for medical reasons.)

All feedback would be much appreciated...

[jayisa02]

hi kas
yes in some ways i regret having an elective c/sec. I had a c/sec with my first because of a failed induction and a big bubba. I had spinal block and then complications from the spinal block for about 6mths afterwards. It also took me a very long time to recover.

With my next child i had the option of trying naturally or booking caesar. I was in two minds the whole pregnancy but ended up choosing caesar with a general anaesthetic. I wish now that i had of tried natural. The general anaesthetic was terrible and certianly would not recommend one if you can avoid it. I had complications afterwards and was on medication till just recently. I dont know if i could have given birth naturally or not but do regret not trying at least. The recovery from a caesar takes me a long time.

But in saying all this many women have trouble free caesars and fast recovery and they can save the lives of both mum and bub so they have their place. I guess it depends on your circunstances, your baby etc
hope all goes well
kerriane:)

[kita]

Do i regret it? DEFINTLY NOT! i loved every lil bit of it, i know people have bad experiences, but there was not one time where i was in enough pain to cry, it was just mild. I loved knowing everything that was going to happen.
If you even slightly want to ever have a VB, think carefully about it, i definitly did not nor ever want to have a vb so i am very happy with my decision and i had a true elective c/s.
any Q's just ask

[jem07]

I had an elective c-section and have regretted it after the experience. I was absolutely terrified of a VB and decided from my first appointment with my OB that due to personal reasons I would have a c-section.

Although my delivery went smoothly, the recovery was pretty tough. The key is good pain management and taking the medication before feeling the pain. I have wondered though if I would have managed with a VB. I now have a moderately large scar six months later, which really didn't need to be there...

My friends after having a VB were able to walk around and function normally very soon after delivery. Where I was bed bound for a day, couldn't drive for a few weeks and felt pain and discomfort for around three weeks.

It is a really personal decision, however think really carefully and do your research before choosing the c-section option.

It really isn't 'easy' but ultimately you have to feel happy and comfortable with your decision. Good luck!!

[summerlump]

I had no choice because my baby was breeched. I didn't have a traumatic birth but I would not choose to have a caesar.
It's not the birth so much or even afterwards, but right now it's the scar tissuing. It's just gross and uncomfortable. I can feel the lumps from the inner incisions. You never know how the adhesions (scar tissue) will form. The increased chance of ruptures and the fact scar tissue doesn't stretch as much.
It's put me off having a second child. I had a positive caesarean experience don't get me wrong, but I had to have a caesar.

[OJandMe]

Just because you have one c-sec doesn't mean you can't ever have a VB.

I had a c-sec for my twins (not elective... but anyway)

and had a VB with Gabriel.....

From being on both sides of the fence, my VB was MUCH easier to recover from.

(and I know this is TMI... but I'm sure we all think about it anyway.... DH says I don't feel like I've 'stretched' at all 'down there'. Which I have to tell you, was one of the stupid reasons I was considering a c-sec with Gab... SO glad I didn't)

:hugs: I suggest reading Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering by Sarah Buckley

[veve]

a bit off topic .. but -are you sure you are limited to three/? I"m pretty sure there are women on bubhub who have had four .. ??

xx
Jen

[MummaBear03]

a bit off topic .. but -are you sure you are limited to three/? I"m pretty sure there are women on bubhub who have had four .. ??

xx
Jen
A lady at my work has 4 children, the first 2 were elective c-sections (she had them both when she was only 14, they're 11 months apart) and the next 2 she had no choice with but after the 4th she had to have her tubes ties, no question about it.

[majenta13]

HI I had a bad experence with my first son during a natural birth the doctor left me in labou for a week then i nearly died pushing for 9 1/2 hours i was then taken to emergency surgery with out seeing my bub.
My second son i had a elective Caesareanand i could not have begged for a better outcome i was up walking the next day and back to normal quite quickly (quicker than a normal birth) i have to say that choosing to have a caesarean was the best choice i ever made it took alot of the stress away although i worried about the pain it was no where near as bad as i expected.
But remember its not right for everyone trust your instincts!!!!!!!
I also know people who have had more than 4 by caesarean

[4babycinos]

Hi everyone,

Two days ago I had my first ob appointment. (I am 7 weeks and everything is fine.)

My DH mentioned that I am feeling anxious about childbirth and that my GP had suggested the possibility of a c-section.

My ob was really good (IMO). He didn't try to push me either way, and basically said that he would support whatever I wanted. (Which was a huge relief.)

However, he did stress that I need to consider how many children I want - three is the max. advised, which isn't a problem because I don't plan to have more than three - and also consider if I might regret the decision - in that once I have one c-section, I may not be able to ever have a v-birth.

I don't think that would bother me. But I am curious to know if any mums have regretted their decision to have a c-section.

(I'm talking about 'true' elective c-sections - those where the mums opted to have a c-section for personal reasons, as opposed to mums who are advised to have a c-section for medical reasons.)

All feedback would be much appreciated...


This was me 6yrs ago at 19. Vaginal Birth just freaked the hell out of me and I was also very anxious and scared about the whole thing. In the end I opted for a c-sec and its not that I regretted it because back then at that time it was the right thing to do with my frame of mind and thinking. But 6yrs on with alot more knowledge and understanding I regret that I chose not to learn more about vb and let my fear and inhibitions rule my head.

Because since then I have had 2 other c-secs (no other choice offered) and my chances of ever having a vaginal birth are extremely thin through the hospital system.

So, all I can say is gain knowledge, surround yourself with supportive people and as much as thought of what happens down there freaks you out, it really is the best way for your precious bubs to enter the world ;)

Good luck with whatever decision you make and feel free to pm if you have any question or if you ever want to chat :)

[GraceUnhearing]

This was me 6yrs ago at 19. Vaginal Birth just freaked the hell out of me and I was also very anxious and scared about the whole thing. In the end I opted for a c-sec and its not that I regretted it because back then at that time it was the right thing to do with my frame of mind and thinking. But 6yrs on with alot more knowledge and understanding I regret that I chose not to learn more about vb and let my fear and inhibitions rule my head.


So, all I can say is gain knowledge, surround yourself with supportive people and as much as thought of what happens down there freaks you out, it really is the best way for your precious bubs to enter the world ;)

[[/font]


:iagree: well said :)
i havent had a C/S but like mummalisciousto3 is all about info
read as much as you can about it

maybe even look into hiring a doula to help out in the VB? they are a mountain full of knowledge

its not a scary thing, in all honesty [text removed by moderator] having major abdominal surgery scares the hell outta me!


a VB can be a beautiful empowering thing for any woman do go through.

just do ALOT of research before making the decision.

[~Emmylou~]

What I always say to women who are feeling like you are is DON'T make a decision from a place of fear.

Because that is not going to be a rational, well thought out decision and it is also one that you might regret later.

Whether you choose a caesar or a normal birth is entirely up to you and I 100% believe that is every woman's right to make that decision for herself.

But please, please PLEASE make sure that you are not making it because of anyone else's opinion or input (either obstetrician or DH) and make sure you understand the issues involved. If you do those two things your decision will be the right one for you.

As your OB rightly pointed out if you have a casear your options for future births may be limited - think seriously about this because even though you're saying you don't care now...in 2 years time after you have given birth once you may feel differently.

I could write a massive post about overcoming fear of childbirth but I wont' go on, there are many good books on the subject and yes, working with a doula during pregnancy is also a really positive way to address how you're feeling.

I recently worked with a mother who had anxiety issues and was absolutely scared stiff for most of her pregnancy. She had a drug free labour, most of it at home and felt so empowered by it afterwards - not just for having done "the natural childbirth thing", but because she just faced her fear head on, and nailed it.

No matter what your afraid of, defeating a fear is a powerful, life changing thing ;)

All the best.

[SPC]

I'm pregnant with my first and terrified of surgery! But I'm also tiny, and equally terrified of things going wrong naturally. I'm such a control freak! The potential problems of c-sections are difficult to discuss, as so many women simply have to have one and nobody wants to worry them any more than necessary.
I have a friend who has a section and now tells people how all her friends who had VBs now don't have sex because they are in so much pain and how much better off she is. I suspect if she'd had a VB she'd be just as evangelistic about natural childbirth!
It is really hard to find clear, unbiased information. There are so many people who have a stake in one side or the other. Even if you just look at the cold hard stats on safety of VB vs C-section it's not helpful cos you don't know which of those stats you will be; you could be the 98% who do fine or one of the 2% who have a terrible time.
I read Sheila Kitzinger 'New experience of childbirth' and found it really reassuring.

[PookieLady]

Mine was classed as an 'elective' altho i dont think it was (long story) and apart form getting my daughter out of it i regret every single bit!
It was the worst experience of my life and everyday i wish i could turn back time and change what happened.

Sarah

[twotrunks]

A friend of mine is hoping for a VBAC (any day now :yelclap:) and recently attended a seminar on VBACs at her Ob's office. They were told that a study of women who had experienced both C-sections and VBs found that 80% of them thought the VB was better. Don't know any details of the study but it is certainly food for thought. Obviously people who have experienced both have a unique perspective, so maybe try to find some of them to chat to.
Good luck.
TT

[tootiredtosleep]

I have chosen one, but not actually gone through with it yet! I will be having one in July, after an emergency caesar last time.

I don't see any other options for me, I simply don't trust anything but a caesar. Last time I think that the care I received was very poor and things may have been different in a different hospital and with different staff. But I really don't have a desire to "try" this time, and I am lucky that I don't feel bad about that - many women do.
It is 100% clear to me what to do, and thats from past experience, reading material and discussions with DH.

[~Bec~]

a bit off topic .. but -are you sure you are limited to three/? I"m pretty sure there are women on bubhub who have had four .. ??

xx
Jen

I think 4boys2love has had all her 4 by c/s.

[OJandMe]

I must say that the upside of my Ceasar is that my bits are all fine - not stretching, ripping or tearing.

I had a VB with Gabriel.... and DH says I still feel just the same as before. ;) (gotta love pelvic floor exercises)

Only it's much better for me... (for some reason it's all more sensitive now :o)

And I had a great midwife who stiched my tear.... I had a peak last week... and OMG... it looks great :laughing:... could be a porn star. :laughing::laughing: (She did a brilliant job)

The point of my little diversion....

please don't let 'things changing down there' be the main reason you choose a c-sec.

[Alekay]

My first was a elective (not medically necessary) and i have never regretted it at all. My second i also had a ceaser for the same reasons and have not regretted that one either.

I have 2 beautiful girls and am as content with the decision i made. If i had to do it all over again i would have the ceasers as well.

Good Luck hope everything turns out just right for you however you want:flowerz:

[neostudded]

Hey, ive read this thread and just wanted to say good luck with your birthing experience.:)

[KatiesMum]

Hi

First of all - Congratulations!!!

Second - I wish you the best of all birthing experiences. However bubs comes out it is a truly amazing experience.

I had an elective c/s (though not much of a choice - bubs was breech) .... but dont regret it for an instant. It was great.

However

before electing for a c/s, you do need to think carefully about WHY YOU WANT A C/S.

Someone before mentioned not making a decision out of fear - and this is just so true. If you are really really scared of a vb, find out all you can about it. Really do your research on both c/s and vb's and once you are a bit more comfortable, make your decision then.

If you still decide on a c/s then at least you will know deep down inside that you are making the right decision for you - and for the right reasons.

Good luck.

[kas3]

Wow. I can't believe this thread has come to life again. :)

I'm almost 18 weeks now. Still haven't made a decision, but I don't have to just yet, so that's good.

The "three baby rule" was just what my ob said - I know other people have had more, and some ob's are fine with that. Three's my limit anyway, so I guess it's not really a factor in my case.

If someone could guarantee a 'good' vb, then I would try it, but there are no guarantees in this business unfortunately! I know the same can be said for a caesareans but for some reason it doesn't scare me nearly as much...

I'm not worried about the pain of vb. I know it will pass. I'm more concerned about the "after effects" of birth. Not so much the stretching, but the fact that I could do serious damage "down there". The thought of a tear or epi makes me feel physically sick. And that seems fairly common. Not to mention those poor ladies who have incontinence problems or need surgery.

Agh. It's all too hard. Where's that bl**dy stork when you need him?! ;)

(Thanks for the replies everyone! I'm going to antenatal classes shortly - hopefully, that will also help me make an informed decision.)

[kalinajane]

Kas, I'm glad you're taking your time with your decision. It's really hard to make good decisions with all the pregnancy hormones! I had an emergency C-section and there's nothing worse than staggering through the maternity ward 3 days post birth barely able to walk and watching all the VB mums practically skipping along!

I was quite scared of VB at first, but the birth prep classes really helped me. The midwives are so matter of fact about VB and how natural it is and how it's what we're essentially designed to do. So I was fully prepared for a natural VB. But as another poster siad, things don't always go the way you want.

I know from some other CS mums too that our scars/tummies generally stay sore and restrictive for quite a while and sex is often painful in its own way after a C-section. But I also know a couple of VB mums who had bad tearing, and I really feel for them too, but they can do sit ups at least!

If you do go ahead with a C-section make sure you have a really good support network ready. You need to be prepared to be unable to get up/lift your baby for 1-2 days. So if your partner can be there for all that time, it will make it much easier than buzzing for a nurse every time bub cries.

You may not be able to drive for 2-6 weeks. You will not be able to do anything other than light chores for about 6 weeks. Get a bassinet that you can wheel around the house to save having to cary bubs all the time.

I was completely un-prepared for my C-section and it made it a lot worse. My family are all interstate and as she was 3 weeks early, my DF couldn't take time off to help.

It's all good though because you get a gorgeous little person either way. I just don't know anyone myself who feels a CS was the easy way to do it.

[Freya]

Wow. I can't believe this thread has come to life again. :)

I'm almost 18 weeks now. Still haven't made a decision, but I don't have to just yet, so that's good.

The "three baby rule" was just what my ob said - I know other people have had more, and some ob's are fine with that. Three's my limit anyway, so I guess it's not really a factor in my case.

If someone could guarantee a 'good' vb, then I would try it, but there are no guarantees in this business unfortunately! I know the same can be said for a caesareans but for some reason it doesn't scare me nearly as much...

I'm not worried about the pain of vb. I know it will pass. I'm more concerned about the "after effects" of birth. Not so much the stretching, but the fact that I could do serious damage "down there". The thought of a tear or epi makes me feel physically sick. And that seems fairly common. Not to mention those poor ladies who have incontinence problems or need surgery.

Agh. It's all too hard. Where's that bl**dy stork when you need him?! ;)

(Thanks for the replies everyone! I'm going to antenatal classes shortly - hopefully, that will also help me make an informed decision.)

Hey hun, if you really study birth properly like positions and opt for a intervention free birth the chance of something going seriously wrong are alot slimmer then the chances of something going seriously wrong having a c-section.

Good Luck with your decision.:hugs:

[~Bec~]

I'm more concerned about the "after effects" of birth. Not so much the stretching, but the fact that I could do serious damage "down there". The thought of a tear or epi makes me feel physically sick. And that seems fairly common. Not to mention those poor ladies who have incontinence problems or need surgery.


I had a 3rd degree tear and an epi but I have no side effects whatsoever from either :flowerz:. Just wanted to share because I know there are lots of horror stories out there about epis and the thought of tearing really isn't that pleasant but everything has healed up perfectly. A third degree tear means that I was at risk of suffering with incontinence issues however, I was given some physio exercises which has helped to get everything back to normal.

Good luck with everything. :)

[GraceUnhearing]

If someone could guarantee a 'good' vb, then I would try it, but there are no guarantees in this business unfortunately! I know the same can be said for a caesareans but for some reason it doesn't scare me nearly as much...




i dont think anyone can guarantee a good c/s either
please check out the figures of the c/s rates

there are a million great VB sotries on her.
i had a epi and everything is fine downstairs, DXP even said it was tighter
haha

[GraceUnhearing]

if you really study birth properly like positions and opt for a intervention free birth the chance of something going seriously wrong are alot slimmer then the chances of something going seriously wrong having a c-section.



:iagree:



and as i said a few pages back check out things like Doulas to help!
they are great for having a intervention free birth at a hospital too!

[Kirstlea]

Well I have had both vb and elect ceasar - when I say elective I really mean they told me I had to have it because ds was breech. Apparently elective is different to emergency.

Anyway I have just become pregnant with my third and to be honest I am quite uncomfortable and I am only 9 weeks. It feels like the scar tissue is trying to stretch which of course isn't an easy task if you think about physio after a sports injury:laughing:.

So I am hoping like hell that this baby does the right thing and turns at the correct time and I will be able to have a natural birth because believe me it is a much faster recovery time and much less painful.

When I say less painful, I mean labour (pain) stops the instant your child is born, after that you just feel totally buggered from all the effort and a little tender down below.

Before you make any decisions, just remember you have a long way to go before you get to the end which gives you plenty of time to learn more about the pros and cons.

It is totally understandable to be scared of labour with your first child, infact I am still dreading the labour but the exhilaration afterwards is something I really want to experience again, its better than drugs:laughing: (no I don't do drugs but did try them as a teen). With tearing, some people are lucky enough not to tear at all, for all you know you could be one of those naturals that just pops out the baby and walks out the door. No one knows whats in store for them, you just have to take control of how you want it to be.

So good luck with your researching and I hope you a great experience which ever way you go.