Coping

[A&Omummy]

Ok well I put up a few post about this anyway I'll try and be quick. I have a 6 week bub. Yesterday had lactation consultant out to the house as DD was feeding every hr on wed. Well today has been great went 2 and half to 3 hrs today. But then this arvo had huge feed at 12 gave top up at 1 then popped her in bed. At 1:40 she was awake and I got her up cause she was getting unsettled then she was showing signs that she wanted another feed so I did she only had one side and not much then fell asleep while carry her into her she woke I put her in her bed and now she is just laying in there having a windge. I really am finding it hard cause I have a 2 year old as well. I don't wanna go anywhere. It's horriable. I was doing painting with my 2yr old and had to pack it up cause I had to attend to DD1. Which is fine I mean I know everything is not going to go to plan. But it's all just getting to hard and I'm so tempted to put her onto formula. Please Help! I can't keep comfort feeding her all day and night.

[Grace3]

I breastfed my kids as well and at times it can be difficult :hugs:

Are you able to ring your lactation consultant and ask her for some more advice.

[our little treasures]

:wave:It's hard I know as I have been there twice. At this age bubs is going through a growth spurt and the fact is their tummy only holds such a small amount and is burned really quickly through all the crying etc. This is the time I had to put everything aside and focus on the bub and feed every time ds/dd2 wanted. I told my other children why mummy was always feeding the baby and found things for them to do.
If you stick with it for a few days your supply will pick up and bubs will stop feeding frequently.

Your doing a good job so please keep with it! I know what your going through.

[Toes]

Your doing a great job, and that all sounds pretty normal to me! I would say it is definately a growth spurt/phase and it will get better, just give it a few days! I remember feeling just like you when DD was the same age and if it wasnt for BubHub, i probably would of given it away... Like olt said, your supply will then increase the more she sucks and then it will stabilize and she will become much more efficient at getting what she needs to stay satisfied for longer.

I am also all about routine too... Maybe too strict sometimes, but found with both my kids, that if i do the same thing each time they wake up, feed, get changed/dressed, washed, bathed, put to sleep awake etc. they settle in to a pattern quite easily.

My DS was 18 months old when DD was born so i know how hard it can be to juggle things between the two, but trust me, this stage will fly by so quick and before you know it they will be playing together on the floor, trying to make each other laugh all day!

:hugs: I hope that helps a bit.. You ARE doing a great job!!

[the_queen]

You've gotten some fabulous advice already here. She is communicating with your body, telling your body how much milk to make. Introducing formula now will only make life more difficult. I know it's hard with a 2 year old as well - do you have a sling? Little tiny bubba's just need to be held, and having a sling means you will be able to cuddle the little one, but have 2 hands free to attend to the bigger one. Some slings can be adjusted so you can actually breastfeed her while she's in it - this would make life so much easier for you. Basically she will be feeding constantly until your supply has settled down - it doesn't mean your milk isn't enough, or isn't good enough. It means that everything is working perfectly, your baby and your body are working in sync to establish the perfect milk supply for her needs. :hugs: :hugs: Can you get someone in to give you a hand? You've probably had friends and relatives say things like "just let me know if you need anything" and this is the time you ring them up and say "can you please come over and help me, I need the washing done, and the bathroom cleaned, and the toddler amused, and perhaps you could take the 2 yr old to the park for a few hours please" just to let you basically lay in bed with bubby and feed her all day long. :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

Are you a member of the ABA? You can call their helpline even if you aren't a member. They can give you great advice, and their helpline is open 24 hours a day. The counsellors are breastfeeding mums who have all been through just what you're going through. Please let yourself have a big cry (crying releases stress hormones so you will feel better afterwards, I promise).

:hugs:

[A&Omummy]

I wanna say a big thank you to everyone!:yes: Your reposnes are wonderful I really appreciate it ladies. I know formula will only make things worse and DD is doing so well on breast milk so is over the average weight for her age. So I know I am doing the right thing. Just some days are so hard and the sleep don't get me started on that. I really am trying to stick it out as long as possiable. I don't have a sling but a carrier. Which I used this morning with her in it to hang out the washing. I'm not a member of the ABA but I have called them. Fingers crossed I can stick it out for longer. I really wanna hit the 6months, or at lest 4 months. Well see how things go.

[Hollywood]

The others have said what I would have said. Just hang in there if you can, it will get better I promise. I've been breastfeeding for just over a year now and I can tell you that it's still such early days with the new bub. Eventually bub will get quicker at feeding and the feeds won't take up to much of your day (less time than bottles that's for sure).

You're doing a great job feeding a newborn with a toddler to look after, and if you can stick with it everything will soon be easier. Good luck!

[twitch]

That's great things are looking up, just wanted to say good luck!

[MummaBear03]

My best friend put her bub onto formula at 4 weeks because she was finding it difficult to fit everything in with the older 3 as well as the baby but what she found was that he isn't doing so well with the formula, she's tried different types and he's 8 weeks old now and on the Heinz one but he still is unsettled after feeds no matter how much she burps him and all, he just gets tummy aches from it all. He won't go back on the breast now after 4 weeks without it but she really wants him to. Not only does she still spend ages feeding him because he's just a fussy feeder, she also has to deal with tummy aches and constipation as well as washing bottles and listening to him scream when he's hungry and she can't just feed him instantly. Just a warning that it may seem easier but the grass is always greener on the other side.....

[A&Omummy]

Thanks for that mummabear03. I have thought of that as well. I was saying that to DH. Like what if she was still unsettled on bottles then I would feel so guilty if I stopped and I think I would have even harder time then I am now. Just another quick question and should probably post it in the sleeping section but thought seeing I was here just write it here. Today I have been doing the feed play sleep thing. Which I usually do anyway I put bubs down and she usually takes ages to go off to sleep sometimes has a windge then goes off then wakes has windge and drifts in and out of sleep. She really doesn't seem to sleep all that much. I ask the lactation consultant aout it and she said I can go pick her up if I want or just leave her. If I pick her up it makes it worse she just gets really unsettled. She said she could have a tummy ach. Anyway what would you do?

[mumof2angels]

Hi Di E hope things have been a bit better this arvo for you.
Have you tried a dummy? Ds has one from 3 days old because he wanted to be on me the whole time ( was probably too early for a dummy but it worked for us). As long as its not used as a food replacement when theyre hungry. She might just be a real comfort sucker.

She could have a tummy ache, are you eating anything that may give her gas? like coffee, oinion, capsicum? I cant eat the last two DS is so unsettled if I do. Hes not too bad with coffee but is better if I dont have it.
Have you tried co-sleeping with her? You could then rest while she feeds, I did this with DS because I have a 3yr old and 5 yr old and its the way I got the sleep I needed and still need to cope with the day.

Also just another thought if you think wind/tummy aches are the problem maybe try some wind drops?

I hope she settles down soon for you, breastfeeding is really the best for bubs so your doing a great job, it is hard early days but gets easier.:hugs:

[A&Omummy]

Hi Di E hope things have been a bit better this arvo for you.
Have you tried a dummy? Ds has one from 3 days old because he wanted to be on me the whole time ( was probably too early for a dummy but it worked for us). As long as its not used as a food replacement when theyre hungry. She might just be a real comfort sucker.

She could have a tummy ache, are you eating anything that may give her gas? like coffee, oinion, capsicum? I cant eat the last two DS is so unsettled if I do. Hes not too bad with coffee but is better if I dont have it.
Have you tried co-sleeping with her? You could then rest while she feeds, I did this with DS because I have a 3yr old and 5 yr old and its the way I got the sleep I needed and still need to cope with the day.

Also just another thought if you think wind/tummy aches are the problem maybe try some wind drops?

I hope she settles down soon for you, breastfeeding is really the best for bubs so your doing a great job, it is hard early days but gets easier.:hugs:

Yeah tried a dummy she don't like it. My DD1 had and still has a dummy from 2 weeks old. She loved to suck. Lactation consultant told me not to give her one though. But thats not why she don't have one. It's just because she wont take it.

Don't think it's wind or upset tummy. I have a coffee in the morning. But thats it and don't drink coke.

I really wanna continue breastfeeding, but it really is very hard. Today DD2 was on the breast from 4 till 8. With half hr brake. I really feel bad for DH cause he works 6 days a week and only sees the girls in the arvo from 4:30 till they go to bed and then sunday. Oh bit earlier on fridays and saturdays. But when he has DD2 all she does is cry cause she wants a feed. So he is not really get happy times with her. Am seriously thinking about giving her a top up feed of formula in the evenings. I know this will stuff up my milk cause she feeds to make more for the next day, but I really am at my wits end. It's taking it's toll on the whole family. I was crying this arvo and DD1 climbed up on the barstool to get me a tissue off the bench. It was so sweet of her.:(

[reAllytee]

Hang in there i know its tough :hugs::hugs:

I used to cry nearly all day & nite because it was so full on & trying to deal with a toddler at the same time adds to it. Especially when my toddler has what i call "only child syndrome" lol ! He thinks he is still any only child & that some day someone will take his little brother away. So feeding for us was a nightmare because he would pull the house apart & no matter what i tried nothing worked to keep him happy. In the end i just had to keep the house clear of what i didnt want him trashing & then let him loose. I also really used ABC Kids to my advantage lol !

That being said have you got a special box for your DD1 to use through feed times ? Special toys only for this time of the day can keep most toddlers happy for ages. Even setting drawing up on the floor ( get the washable range that way you dont have to watch in dread as she wanders with crayons in her hands ! ) then having some books out she may want to read & even popping on a video may help cause she can roam & choose what she wants. As i said it didnt with mine but that doesnt mean that it wont work iykwim. Otherwise sometimes you just have to sit feeding bubs with them tearing the house apart & just take deep breaths !

As Queenie said invest in a sling because it really is a huge lifesaver as she may even be happy to just be in the sling & not feed all that time. She may just want mum. I found i could at least get washing done, a few other bits & pieces as well as play with Boof for a little while. It helped so much !

Introducing formula wont solve anything im afraid. Yes if you started a thread asking mums if they used formula on their babies did they start lengthening out feeds etc many would say yes but i can also assure you many would say no !

If you really are needing that break etc i would try to pump at least that way bubs is getting EBM & you arent compromising your relationship as much.

Its freaking hard work & honestly at times so tiring you wonder whether its worth it but it is & the rewards you will reap in time will show you how much it really was worth hanging in there.

Good luck :hugs:

[Toes]

:hugs: to you, it's not easy is it! It sounds as though you are having a hard time of it, i really hope things sort out soon for you. I can only suggest that you maybe continue doing what your doing and see what happens in the next couple of days...I'm sure it will just be a phase and things will settle for you soon.

With your sleeping issue, how does she go down to sleep? Is she wrapped at all, warm enough, too cold?? My DD, had to be wrapped nice and snug to sleep or she would constantly wake herself up...

Also, i found that if I fed her when she woke, had a play, then gave her a quick little feed to go back down all drowsy (not necessarily asleep) she settled alot quicker and for alot longer.

I know that sounds like more work and more feeds but it became like two smaller/half feeds which were quicker, than one big long feed when she woke IYKWIM, and it allowed me to still deal with DS a bit more...

Im not an expert on any of this, im just letting you know what worked for me, :D but i hope you can find something from someone that will help you out..

Good luck with it all :fingerscrossed:

[MummaBear03]

As for the sleep thing, my dd went to sleep at the breast until about 2 :laughing: but I can't say anything negative about that because she didn't have unsettled nights at all, when she was asleep she stayed asleep, and that was from birth :smiliedance:

[A&Omummy]

Well I'm still hanging in there, will see how we go tonight. She don't seem to be feeding that well today. Well in saying that I don't think she has case she has been only taking one side, but then throwing up a wee bit after. So maybe she is getting enough. She has been sleeping pretty well cause we were out. She really seems to like noise. Tomorrow I might try putting her bassenett in the lounge room. Maybe she just like to be around us and not shut up in a room on her own.

[mumof2angels]

Hi hope things are a bit better today, I agree with yhe last comment you made that she wants to be near you. DS is always with me, hes in the kitchen when I cook, bathroom, when I shower if hes awake, in the girls room if im in there etc. So you are probably right, try putting her with you wherever you are in rocker to sleep during the day near you. If DS wont go to sleep in the day in his cot I put him in the lounge room in his rocker. For me it also saves me from getting stressed if he wants me or wont sleep Id rather just have him close so im more relaxed. Shes been in you tummy for 9 mths its only natural that shell want to be near you now shes out. I also recommend a sling or carrier like someone else suggested so you can have your hands free and she is still close to you.

A friend of mine put a radoi in her bubs room on no station so it was just the crackle so there is some noise around and he seems to like it.
Just try everything till you find something that works.

It does get easier!!

[A&Omummy]

Well today we have gone from hardly sleeping and feeding heaps to sleeping for most of the day and feeding not much. They are just contsently changing. At the moment she is just sleeping on the lounge. I put her there so she would wake so she could feed more but that was over an hr and half ago. Oh well I guess I will just enjoy my time to myself. DD1 is having her nap too. I just baked a cake for DH got dinner prepared washed and put the dishes away sweeped the floor played with the dog and tidyed up the toy room. Thats me for the arvo. LOL!

[reAllytee]

Oh Di you got through it :yelclap:

You are wonderful & well done to you !

[mumof2angels]

:smiliedance:Great! Youve had a break through! Yep they are always changing. Wow you did heaps!
Youve done great, you are a strong woman!!

[Mahjong]

:yelclap:

Im so relieved that things are looking so much better for you Di. I was getting worried about you.

Well done hunny, :yelclap:

[A&Omummy]

Thanks guys. Olivia has been great all day. At dinner tonight I said to DH I'm actually looking forward to sitting on the lounge and feeding Olivia. Just because I haven't had to feed all day. She was still very settled after we had dinner so we all decided to go out for a walk. Something we can't usually do cause I have to feed all arvo and evening. Just started her cluster feeding about 6:30 till about 7:40. So much better then 4 till 7. Well better get her into bed she is just laying in my arms i keep looking at her and feel so happy at the moment. Fingers crossed she goes well again tomorrow.

[sweetsugardumplin']

quote=Di E;2377163]Well better get her into bed she is just laying in my arms i keep looking at her and feel so happy at the moment. Fingers crossed she goes well again tomorrow.
:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

[our little treasures]

Isn't that the best feeling:bee: Knowing you have filled her and you did it not formula.

Now just be prepared that every now and then she will do this again and you just have to do what you did. This happens frequently as she grows. It gets easier because you know what your doing as you have done it before!

I am so happy for your success.