Have you ever felt like this?

[Kobbles]

Hi there.

I am 21 years old and have a 5 yo in Kindergarten. I was 16yo when I had him.

I do not have my school certificate or any formal education but I am not stupid by any sense of the word. I can hold a conversation, I know what I want in life and :confused: amazingly to some:confused: , I am most interested in my sons education???

Anyways, I know we are all sterio-typed as young mums who dont know the father, are dirt poor, let our kids run around wild with green snotty noses ect. What gets to me most though is that I am looked as though I am up myself because I do care about my sons education, he is well mannered, he is healthy and he does get disciplined when needed. I dont care what the other mothers at his school think of my age or my ability to parent yet this is apparently seen as being 'an up herslef snob'???

Have you ever felt this or is it just the moron mums at our school?

[SassyMummy]

I had DD at 19...and I'm 20 now...so I have a while before I have to worry about School Mums...and I'm lucky in that I had DD when I was older than you were and had finished school and 2 tertiary certificates...so nobody can b*tch about my lack of education.

I think it could all be because they're probably a bit frightened at how well you're doing. If they believe that young mothers are all skanks, who sleep around and do drugs...who will forever live in public housing and have abut 10 kids by the time they reach 25...etc etc...then to see someone who contradicts this stereotype probably freaks them out a little.

They're secure "knowing" (they don't really KNOW anything...they just like to place labels) that they're doing far better than a young mother...so when they come to realise that a young mother is doing just as well as they are (sometimes better than they are), it probably puts their own lives into perspective a bit. Not saying that their life is not as good as they thought...but they're not as "high and mighty" as they might have thought/hoped.

They probably feel that, at 21 with a 5 year old, they'd be doing far worse than you are, and they probably just feel a little mad they're not as "well off" as they thought.

[InSaneOne]

i agree. i get looks when i am out with my new bub (7 months) and my step dd's (nearly 13 & 14). there is only a 10 year age gap between me and my eldest step dd. i am lucky i look older than 23 (people say i look 27) but i still get frowns from older peole and whispers that "she had her young didn't she". my step dd looks enough like me that peole consider me to be her biomum if they don't know better. it really sucks when people assume that because you are young you have no idea how to raise a child. i have been around young children all my life as i have a huge extended family and we are all quite close. being one of the older ones we used to look after the babies to give our parents and aunties a break every now and then. i consider myself a good mum and i have had no complaints from my steps and they love spending time with me and their father.

sorry about :ecomcity: but i needed to vent when i saw this thread.

[Taddy]

I know exactly how you feel apart from it wasn't with the school mums it was with the mothers at playgroup. I gave birth to my son at 17.
I thought I would take DS to playgroup about 2mths ago so he could interact with children his own age but nope when DS approached any child the mothers would just remove there kids and put them in thier little group. I was so upset I just wanted to cry. The mothers didn't even talk to me they were all like past the age of 28. If I started a conversation with them they would end it very quick and walk off. Didn't go back and I won't be either.

As sassymummy I still have a little while to deal with them school mums.
I am very proud of you though thinking about your sons education first. Well done:thumbsup: We are starting a bank account (probably only put $25 p/mth away) for our son so he has a head start to life when he gets older, oh yeh and plus the piggy bank.

[Kobbles]

How sad this is, though I just thought "thank god Im not the only one"... none of us should be made to feel like this! It makes me so angry! What should it be to anyone else how old we are when we have our children. Maybe say something (in the interest of my childs wellbeing) if I am abusive, uncaring/unloving ect, but do love my son, I do care about his education, I help out as a parent helper, I am on the P&C Committee, (:laughing: LOL, I was even thanked by his teacher last week because I am the only mum in the class who doesnt pack chips and lollies in his lunch box:laughing: )!!!


I know exactly how you feel apart from it wasn't with the school mums it was with the mothers at playgroup. I gave birth to my son at 17.
I thought I would take DS to playgroup about 2mths ago so he could interact with children his own age but nope when DS approached any child the mothers would just remove there kids and put them in thier little group. I was so upset I just wanted to cry. The mothers didn't even talk to me they were all like past the age of 28. If I started a conversation with them they would end it very quick and walk off. Didn't go back and I won't be either. I too have faced this and I cried more than ever! I went to playgroup once. I was the youngest by ATLEAST 10 years and I copped nothing but the quiet 'sssp sssp' sounds of their whispers. No one bothered to come over and introduce themselves, when I went over they turned their back ect. Seriously, I wonder how they would feel if they later found out that by going to play group I was reaching out to someone for help??? I would never forgive myself if that happened to me!!!

I say more opwer to us, and if 'older' mums are threatened by us then so be it! Lets show them we are a force not to be ignored! We are strong, we are powerful and we are full of love for our little ones!

[BiNdI86]

Hi guys..I too have come across the playgroup Cr@p. I was 18 when I had DD and I couldn't be happier!! Also with playgroups, my cousin is in her early30's and is in playgroups and invites me along (great!!) At least that's what I thought. When I arrived she would greet me then pretty much abandon me. Her 'Friends' would look me up and down and whisper and tut, tut to each other when I would explain that my DD was premmy (only by 4 weeks) And when I mentioned My DP it was "oh..so your still with him!":mad:

By then they would scoot off to talk to someone else, leaving me sitting my myself or what's worse...They used me as a babysitter..sitting there, drinking and laughing. I had to break up fights, give drinks and watch my own DD...GRRRRRR:mad:

[BiNdI86]

I was watching 'Mona Lisa's Smile' the other day and relised that in those days it was looked upon as great, if a girl had a man by 18 and kids on the way by like...19!! If you were like...25 and single you were considered 'Weird!!'

Whats the go with that???:confused: :confused:

So (Theoreticly) we're right on track!!:laughing:

[kate_perth_10]

i'm 21 and i have 2 boys aged 2 and 3.About 2 years ago i took the boys to a playgroup which is at a school where they'll go when they start.Nobody talked to me,they made fun of me because i forgot to bring a piece of fruit (half of them didn't bring anything anyway) and when i was trying to put my son ,then only a few months old,This woman went off at me because apparently i wasn't holding him right and i should be breastfeeding not bottlefeeding!! I was so upset.I had pnd at the time and it was a big effort to get out at all that just pushed me over the edge.
Even now my two year old has MAJOR tantrums at the shops he hates it but u have to go don't u? The looks and comments are horrible i just feel like screaming at them!! Every kid has tantrums not just because i'm young its so frustrating!!!

But u know what apart from that i love being a young mum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:thumbsup:

[CJJHRA]

school mums pfft LOL

I have found that alot of the school mums grew up with each other, and because I wasnt from around here, I am on the outside. Same with play groups, either that, or they knew each other from anit-natel classes/mothers groups. Not soo much at the school my kids currently go to, but the one before this one.

I'm not a young mum anymore, but was.

[caitsmum]

Like Alannah's Mum, I'm not so young anymore but I have been there and done that and I can say it does get easier. Kobbles - you sound like you have one fantasitc little boy there. You know one of the main reasons he is like that - is you. With or without a school certificate you have had the intelligence to teach and guide your son into the great kid he is today. Just think - those "tsk tsk" mothers won't be around when he is an adult to judge - it will be your son who will look back on the childhood you gave him and I think from the sounds of it he will be greatfull to have such a fantastic mum. I'm sure you will never be seen as a snob in his eyes.

[Kobbles]

Thanks Caitsmum...

I know myself that I am far from a snob... I am the most laid back, relaxed, take it as it comes kind of person. I dont judge anyone because I know what it feels like. Thats why I just dont understand where this has all come from! If I turned my nose up at them, or ignored them when they tried to talk to me or especially if I walked around thinking I was better than everyone else, of course I would understand it then. What confuses me is because I am young I shouldnt care about my son?:confused:

Oh well, thanks again ladies:D

[babyjode]

I had my son at 17. He is about to turn one so i havnt experenced it myself however. My sister-inlaw had slack but she didnt worry about it as before her kids started school my mother pulled her aside and gave her some advise she now gives me.

Parents are very quick to knock others kids and other parenting skill's.
That you should never knock your own family or yourself as enough other people will do it for you.

This is so true you should be happy with yourself and what you are doing. You are obviously doing a wounderful job.

Infact when my twin nephews where in kindy and it was a day the parents came in for the day. My sister-in-law was sitting listening to the parents pick on a innocient child because he was trying to eat the "fake" food. Laughing and saying stuff like what a pig, he could eat anything (which is true lol but why is that negative?) My sisterinlaw didnt say a thing as she was prewarned by my mum and didnt take a thing to heart. Then her son came and sat on her lap, The mothers were like ohhhhhh so sorry didnt realise he was yours then they started on another kid saying how he is so bossy answering all the questions and he is too smart for his own good not giving any of the other kids a chance ect ect. (like thats a bad thing for a preschooler) then he came over and sat on her lap. all the mothers were picking the jaws off the ground they were like oh his yours too... my sisterinlaw replied with yup i have twins (she didnt care she knew she wasnt one to be cold hearted enough to pick on a innocent kid)

[jessgray]

i havent had to meet other parents in a sitauation liek this as my son is only turning one and he goes to day care 2 days a week. i can how ever see it happening in the future. i would say pay no attetntion to the othe rmums as long as you child is happy and stuff dont worry. if they feel the need to pick on a child then they have problems