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just found out that 30% of all child support paid . the paying parent can actually have in writing how they want that to be paid . like for uniforms and medical etc and the other parent has to comply? just wondering if anyone out there knows about this?
hi pumpkin,
i know that there are certain items that the payer can pay direct (like childcare fees and school fees) and that the amount paid can be deducted from the child suport payable regardless of whether the payee agrees, so long as you have a receipt to prove you made the payment. I think the 30% is that CSA will only reduce the monthly payment by a max of 30% per month until the credit is used up.
Something to be aware of though is depending on what the payee is like this can cause problems....e.g. When my DSD's mother on holidays for 2 weeks and left DSD with us we had to pay the childcare fees so I pushed my DH to contact CSA and have it taken off our payment, he did this and when his ex came back and got a reduced CS payment she rang up, abused us, and told us that next time she would leave DSD with her mother instead of us so we couldn't reduce her CS...****!!! :mad:
sopolicha
19-03-2006, 20:31
Gee, I wonder where we will spend that $7.00 a month??????
lol Sopolicha, yes i was wondering how to spread my $5 a wk as well:rolleyes:
fair enough it would be useless to the ones who pay stuff all but it was thinking of the ones like us who pay extremely rediculous amounts. we would be able to tell her what to spend at least $2714.00 per annum, why let them just spend it on themselves iykwim:mad:
Hi Pumpkin
Try this link - looks like it is up to 25%. Hope it works for you - we don't do it as it's a complicated situation anyway.
http://www.csa.gov.au/payer/nap.php
Pumpkin - Do you seriously believe that the $174/week that your husband has to pay his ex is funding some super lavish lifestyle?? ***text removed***
Seriously though I think not discussing payment options/changes with the other parent shows very little respect. While it may be better for you to pay 30% of the annual amount on childcare or clothes, it would still seem appropriate and decent to first discuss it with the payee. Have some not considered that the mother may have a budget worked out, basing it on how much/when money is coming in? While having weeks of daycare payed for in advance may be the same monetary amount it doesn't help pay electricity/food this week. The childish attitude that mother's are swanning around spending the CS money on themselves drives me nuts! :mad:
I actually think that second wives often have far too much to say. While, yes, he may be your husband now, and you may even have children together, it does not mean his past can be negelected nor does it mean that his previous children/partners necessarily have anything to do with you! I admire men who can provide for their children in every sense, including monetarily, and women who understand and accept the complexities of split families have my respect too!
Sadly, decent and mature people like this are all too rare I think :(
So i guess I'm just trying to say that a little respect and consideration can go a very long way in these situations! ***Text removed by moderator***
B
nemosmum
20-03-2006, 05:45
I agree with Broznik:thumbsup:
Its not like a $174 a week is going to buy very much when you factor in living expenses like:
Food
clothes
accomodation
electricity
childcare/education
and all the other million and one things kids need
Good post B:D
sopolicha
20-03-2006, 07:19
lol Sopolicha, yes i was wondering how to spread my $5 a wk as well:rolleyes:
A week Erin? You must be rolling in it. That $7 a month doesn't cover the cost of the toll bridge to drop the girl of for visits that no one bothers to come and pick her up for.
Go broznik :smiliedance:
mumoftwoboys2005
20-03-2006, 07:33
I think this is getting a little too heated here already. What we are trying to say (and thank you Broznik for pointing out to me (I am a second wife) that I have a big mouth!) is that there are some instances where the money that is being paid for child support is not actually being used for the childs welfare. I personally would love to see some of the $500 per month that we pay put into a bank account for my stepsons education/uniforms etc but his mother feels it is better being used for bingo/cigarettes and alcohol. So please don't attack before you know the circumstances. Broznik, feel free to pm me if you wish to speak to me.
Thank you all.
hehe sopolicha, your right, at least i cant buy a loaf of bread with mine each week to feed him with;)
As for the original question, pumpkin i believe some money can be allocated to specific things, but why does it matter so much where it goes? it all goes on things she has to pay in day to day life in providing for her child.
Keep it nice, ladies, there's no need for this thread to go on the boil...it's rolling along at a nice simmer but that's heated enough :thumbsup:
Everytime I go to quote...the post dissapears....:laughing:
Just trying to keep the section clean, I'm a bit OCD when it comes to the housekeeping :laughing:
Just trying to keep the section clean, I'm a bit OCD when it comes to the housekeeping :laughing:
:smiliedance: wooohoo Got one.....:laughing:
Just don't kiss it and throw it back! ;)
Pumpkin - Do you seriously believe that the $174/week that your husband has to pay his ex is funding some super lavish lifestyle?? ***text removed***
Seriously though I think not discussing payment options/changes with the other parent shows very little respect. While it may be better for you to pay 30% of the annual amount on childcare or clothes, it would still seem appropriate and decent to first discuss it with the payee. Have some not considered that the mother may have a budget worked out, basing it on how much/when money is coming in? While having weeks of daycare payed for in advance may be the same monetary amount it doesn't help pay electricity/food this week. The childish attitude that mother's are swanning around spending the CS money on themselves drives me nuts! :mad:
I actually think that second wives often have far too much to say. While, yes, he may be your husband now, and you may even have children together, it does not mean his past can be negelected nor does it mean that his previous children/partners necessarily have anything to do with you! I admire men who can provide for their children in every sense, including monetarily, and women who understand and accept the complexities of split families have my respect too!
Sadly, decent and mature people like this are all too rare I think :(
So i guess I'm just trying to say that a little respect and consideration can go a very long way in these situations! ***Text removed by moderator***
B
they have both been on centrelink for 11 years now so the tax payers are actually paying them an income iykwim.
what happened if she never had the kid that we have to pay for? she would still have to live somewhere and they would still have the kids they have of their own. so centrelink would still be paying them.
why can she not go back to work and her partner look after the kids as he doesnt work anyway,,, the reason is because the money we pay would be greatly reduced so she wouldnt be getting a handout (as such) i found today that i can actually be claimed as a dependent until the kids all go to school so that looks like at least another 6 to 7 years at this stage unless of course we have one more ( because we want another not because of csa) so his money will reduce greatly or he could quit work and i go to work and she gets 0 every year. we are seriously considering that one.
http://www.stepfamily.asn.au/
go to the forum section there and you will see it form both sides but mainly the ones who are worse off(payers ) then everyone here.
a real eye opener
hehe sopolicha, your right, at least i cant buy a loaf of bread with mine each week to feed him with;)
As for the original question, pumpkin i believe some money can be allocated to specific things, but why does it matter so much where it goes? it all goes on things she has to pay in day to day life in providing for her child.
smokes for herself and partner plus alcohol and the kid is away every weekend. so maybe if thats your view then i can tell csa that and get them to reduce the amount as it doesnt cost $174 per week to feed a kid and pay nothing to a public school. i will ask them to reduce what my DH pays because of that same excuse....pmsl
in our case it would be $174 per week x 5 as i am a dependent so would that mean we pay no child support. lol
what happened if she never had the kid that we have to pay for?
I always thought it takes two to make a baby??? I'm sure she didn't force herself on him??? :laughing:
InSaneOne
20-03-2006, 17:17
pumpkin i hear you about dh staying home and me working. we have considered that many times but unfortunately he can make more money than i do. so we compensate by having the kids more on the weekends. the girls belong to a youth group (job's daughters) and they have a lot of activites on most weekends. so of course his ex won't take them anywhere as that would cost money. (we spent $250 on the kids last weekend - food while we were out and travelling from brisabne to gympie and back and then to ipswich and back and picking them up and taking them home again) and she still gets too much money from us.
the kids have expressed desires to come and live with us but their mother won't let them(long story) she keeps bribing them - like mp3 players and a dozen play stattion 2 games for xmas.
i thhink the money would be better spent on the childrens dental hygiene (13 yo is having a root canal treatment on her front tooth as it had a huge hole for months and we can't afford to get it fixed and we don't have a hcc but the mother does and could have taken her to a clinic but didn't. (too busy planning for HER trip top america)
sorry to ramble but i hate the way the system works!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
I always thought it takes two to make a baby??? I'm sure she didn't force herself on him??? :laughing:
well actually he never wanted the kid and neither did c=she she was going to have an abortion but her father talked her out of it saying he would help her etc. (as she was being a s*** all the time anyway so it could have happened to any of them. but then she made him pay and the father that was supposedly going to support them renegged.
so to answer your question at the last minute she did force it on him as they had decided to have an abortion.
nemosmum
20-03-2006, 17:20
Pumpkin I think your coming across as rather selfish (Im sure you dont mean too but thats the vibe Im getting)
I think its natural for you to feel resentful when you have to pay for someones elses child BUT you need to remember that this child (like all children) didnt ask to be born its YOUR husbands and his ex's responsibilty to care for their child this includes financially.
So if you have a gripe with your DH's ex dont take it out on the child by acting out of spite and saying things like you will go back to work and DH will stay home just so the mother can get $0 in child support:eek: that sounds terrible JMO.
pumpkin i hear you about dh staying home and me working. we have considered that many times but unfortunately he can make more money than i do. so we compensate by having the kids more on the weekends. the girls belong to a youth group (job's daughters) and they have a lot of activites on most weekends. so of course his ex won't take them anywhere as that would cost money. (we spent $250 on the kids last weekend - food while we were out and travelling from brisabne to gympie and back and then to ipswich and back and picking them up and taking them home again) and she still gets too much money from us.
the kids have expressed desires to come and live with us but their mother won't let them(long story) she keeps bribing them - like mp3 players and a dozen play stattion 2 games for xmas.
i thhink the money would be better spent on the childrens dental hygiene (13 yo is having a root canal treatment on her front tooth as it had a huge hole for months and we can't afford to get it fixed and we don't have a hcc but the mother does and could have taken her to a clinic but didn't. (too busy planning for HER trip top america)
sorry to ramble but i hate the way the system works!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
i understand you entirely
thing is they live interstate and she wont allow a 11 year old to fly up (hello where can she go) thank god only another 7 years if that lol
well actually he never wanted the kid and neither did c=she she was going to have an abortion but her father talked her out of it saying he would help her etc. (as she was being a s*** all the time anyway so it could have happened to any of them. but then she made him pay and the father that was supposedly going to support them renegged.
so to answer your question at the last minute she did force it on him as they had decided to have an abortion.
The point was more the fact that he willingly slept with her...reguardless the outcome...sex = babbies and if she was a s#@$ then maybe sex = alot more too...maybe a few test should be done????
Pumpkin I think your coming across as rather selfish (Im sure you dont mean too but thats the vibe Im getting)
I think its natural for you to feel resentful when you have to pay for someones elses child BUT you need to remember that this child (like all children) didnt ask to be born its YOUR husbands and his ex's responsibilty to care for their child this includes financially.
So if you have a gripe with your DH's ex dont take it out on the child by acting out of spite and saying things like you will go back to work and DH will stay home just so the mother can get $0 in child support:eek: that sounds terrible JMO.
my DH feels thae same way about waht is paid and it would be better for us to work that way asthen if she wanted something etc she would have to send her up for contact every school hols or else they would definately get nothing, i may sound selfish hell all the second families might but hey why should we miss out as such especially when they have no contact but DH is expected to call every 2 weeks plus at xmas go down there for a couple of days and still have to pay the same amount of cs
?
are you in this situation? i'm guessing not (sorry if i'm wrong)
Pumpkin I think your coming across as rather selfish (Im sure you dont mean too but thats the vibe Im getting)
I think its natural for you to feel resentful when you have to pay for someones elses child BUT you need to remember that this child (like all children) didnt ask to be born its YOUR husbands and his ex's responsibilty to care for their child this includes financially.
So if you have a gripe with your DH's ex dont take it out on the child by acting out of spite and saying things like you will go back to work and DH will stay home just so the mother can get $0 in child support:eek: that sounds terrible JMO.
:yelclap: Very well Said :yelclap:
The point was more the fact that he willingly slept with her...reguardless the outcome...sex = babbies and if she was a s#@$ then maybe sex = alot more too...maybe a few test should be done????
we are considering that too as she has had another 3 all up but only 1 with her hubby now as she cheated on him and got preg to twins but because the father of the twins told her to get stuffed she didnt worry about child support for them. funny thing is they live in a small town and all of that town plus the next one know they arent his and how they came about.
karma will come back to her
we are considering that too as she has had another 3 all up but only 1 with her hubby now as she cheated on him and got preg to twins but because the father of the twins told her to get stuffed she didnt worry about child support for them. funny thing is they live in a small town and all of that town plus the next one know they arent his and how they came about.
karma will come back to her
I mean't he might have caught something....
I mean't he might have caught something....
no i can guarantee that he never did he actually went to the doctor when he found out what she was about.
but we are going to see if it is actually his kid or else she will be dragged through court if it turns out not to be
nemosmum
20-03-2006, 17:38
are you in this situation? i'm guessing not (sorry if i'm wrong)
No your right Im not in your situation BUT I may well be as DH and I are talking seperation and I would hate to think that some where down the track he and his NEW wife would do something so devious just to get out of paying for HIS son.
Sorry but its his child he should provide financial support.
Im not saying I know your situation etc as I have no idea but in principle I stand by what I first posted.
Charlie- Thanks:)
are you in this situation? i'm guessing not (sorry if i'm wrong)
I'm sorry but I don't think anyone would need to be in your situation to see that what you are saying is wrong!!! It's about him taking responsibility for HIS past...wether he wanted the child or not!!! That child needs just as much from him as yours...and you should be grateful that atleast your child/ children get him in person...not just the MONEY!!! I'm sure this other "KID" as you put it doesn't get much of anything by the sounds of the mother!!!
I can understand where Pumpkin is coming from. I have a friend in exactly the same situation. They are paying a ridiculous amount of cs to His daughters mother. He isn't allowed to see her, because the mother is scared her daughter will run away to live with her father. The only reason this hasn't happened already, is because the father had to move interstate for work commitments. The child is neglected. She constantly has headlice and school sores. Her clothes are too small for and very tatty and dirty. When her father sends her a birthday/xmas/easter present, she doesn't even get it. The mother tosses it straight into the bin and tells her that her father has forgotten about her. When he rings her, he is told, she isn't here, or she doesn't want to talk to you, but it is a different story when he gets a chance to actually visit.
I'm not taking sides, but I can see why Pumkin is questioning why they should have to pay so much money each week.
My friend's DH has to pay so much in cs per week, that he and his wife and their 3 children are now suffering because they can't afford to live. They are struggling, while his ex is spending every weekend in hotels and dining out in restaurants, his daughter to his ex, is living in disgusting conditions.
Yes, welfare has been contacted, but they are conviently, never home when welfare calls, so as yet, nothing has been done.
Good luck Pumpkin with your court case. I hope it all goes well for you.
I'm sorry but I don't think anyone would need to be in your situation to see that what you are saying is wrong!!! It's about him taking responsibility for HIS past...wether he wanted the child or not!!! That child needs just as much from him as yours...and you should be grateful that atleast your child/ children get him in person...not just the MONEY!!! I'm sure this other "KID" as you put it doesn't get much of anything by the sounds of the mother!!!
the mother sent her to see us ages ago and then rang to say she was ****** and didnt want her back and told us to keep her but an hour later she tried to smooth talk things and wanted her home etc she used to let her stay in dirty nappies she is always full of head lice to this day she even had her hair cut short but is still infested(since she was 1.5 this has occured) he does support the kid by paying maintenence there is only so much to do if she will not allow contact. we would be happy to pay her 50 per week for food and then pay her school levy (public school) if they have one every year and if she came to us we would pay half airfare and buy clothes for her.
when we were down there she used to send her over every 2nd weekend and i used to have to rewash all her clothes she was sent with and we actually bought her some as thye used to come over smelling like vomit(she was 3 at the time)
so we know that she isn't spending it on DH kid especially the lifestyle they live there is more to that but will not post here iykwim
just found out that 30% of all child support paid . the paying parent can actually have in writing how they want that to be paid . like for uniforms and medical etc and the other parent has to comply? just wondering if anyone out there knows about this?
would just like to clarify the post again for the people who cannot read,
the above is the question that was asked so if you are not in this situation or do not know anyone in this situation please post elsewhere as this post is not relevant to you. thanks
I'm just pointin out that this is a little girl your talking about and rather than being so concerned about the money maybe you and in particular your partner need to be more concerned about her welfare???
And also the whole lead lice thing ...as a hairdresser.... they dont live in dirty hair!!
would just like to clarify the post again for the people who cannot read,
the above is the question that was asked so if you are not in this situation or do not know anyone in this situation please post elsewhere as this post is not relevant to you. thanks
Being 25 I'm not likely to put myself in a situation like this....but like you and everyone else I have the right to share my opinion with others, I know of ppl in the same situation but they have alot more compassion for the child!!
I'm just pointin out that this is a little girl your talking about and rather than being so concerned about the money maybe you and in particular your partner need to be more concerned about her welfare???
And also the whole lead lice thing ...as a hairdresser.... they dont live in dirty hair!!
no but it doesnt help when her mother doesnt buy the treatments to get rid of them so then it becomes majorly infested iykwim.
where in my post did we say we didnt care about her welfare? i think you need to stop trying to read between the lines and look at the post itself not make something out of nothing:yelclap:
Being 25 I'm not likely to put myself in a situation like this....but like you and everyone else I have the right to share my opinion with others, I know of ppl in the same situation but they have alot more compassion for the child!!
our point is we are being crapped on by csa and the mother who spends sfa on the child in question. where in the post do i say we have no comapssion???
I can understand where Pumpkin is coming from. I have a friend in exactly the same situation. They are paying a ridiculous amount of cs to His daughters mother. He isn't allowed to see her, because the mother is scared her daughter will run away to live with her father. The only reason this hasn't happened already, is because the father had to move interstate for work commitments. The child is neglected. She constantly has headlice and school sores. Her clothes are too small for and very tatty and dirty. When her father sends her a birthday/xmas/easter present, she doesn't even get it. The mother tosses it straight into the bin and tells her that her father has forgotten about her. When he rings her, he is told, she isn't here, or she doesn't want to talk to you, but it is a different story when he gets a chance to actually visit.
I'm not taking sides, but I can see why Pumkin is questioning why they should have to pay so much money each week.
My friend's DH has to pay so much in cs per week, that he and his wife and their 3 children are now suffering because they can't afford to live. They are struggling, while his ex is spending every weekend in hotels and dining out in restaurants, his daughter to his ex, is living in disgusting conditions.
Yes, welfare has been contacted, but they are conviently, never home when welfare calls, so as yet, nothing has been done.
Good luck Pumpkin with your court case. I hope it all goes well for you.
finally someone else who understands apart form a few other people on here
:smiliedance:
serenitynow
20-03-2006, 18:20
[QUOTE=pumpkin]..but DH is expected to call every 2 weeks plus at xmas go down there for a couple of days and still have to pay the same amount of cs
?
Expected??
As her Father, he would want to do this, even need to do this??
In respect to phone calls and Xmas - why reduce communication and love to dollars??
I don't understand your currency Pumpkin - this is his daughter.
I thought my family was bad - this poor, poor child.
As for relevancy of this post, I am in this situation.
You opened the door Pumpkin, so don't be suprised at what comes through it - even when its wearing combat boots.
[quote=pumpkin]..but DH is expected to call every 2 weeks plus at xmas go down there for a couple of days and still have to pay the same amount of cs
?
Expected??
As her Father, he would want to do this, even need to do this??
In respect to phone calls and Xmas - why reduce communication and love to dollars??
I don't understand your currency Pumpkin - this is his daughter.
I thought my family was bad - this poor, poor child.
As for relevancy of this post, I am in this situation.
You opened the door Pumpkin, so don't be suprised at what comes through it - even when its wearing combat boots.
yes he sees her at xmas but it costs us over 1000 in fuel and acommodation whenwe are there this should be taken off the csa amount this is what i was stating also the phone calls should be credited on csa as well not plus the normal csa or she could ring .
she is the first to whinge when he doesnt ring yet she moves all the time and changes numbers and addresses etc and doiesnt advise us like she is supposed to where the kid is. bit hard to maintain contact there hey.
in regards to the post what do you know how the 30% thing works are you currently doing it? if not then that is what the post is about.
Ok, consider this a final warning. Keep the discussion civil and on topic or this thread will be closed.
Ok, consider this a final warning. Keep the discussion civil and on topic or this thread will be closed.
I'm being civil....:thumbsup: just a little off topic :laughing:
Let me clarify...being civil includes refraining from making sarcastic remarks pointed towards others. Please be respectful of everyone on the board, regardless of their viewpoint.
If you can't say somethin nice don't say anything at all ...ok I got it.... I not adding anything more then... :D
pumpkin, my DSD lives approx 900km's away and it is difficult and costly to maintain contact as her mother also moves without advising us and supplying new contact details. Cost of maintaining contact are something that you can apply to have taken into consideration by CSA (see link below)
http://www.csa.gov.au/guide/2_6_7.htm
[
In respect to phone calls and Xmas - why reduce communication and love to dollars??
.
A lot of people, particulary men, have trouble bonding with children they seldom see, so there is often a lack of love which therefore will reduce communication between them and their child, especially if they aren't allowed to see their children.
If they are limited to the amount of time they get to spend with their children from when they are young, it will turn into a problem, where all they see is how much it will cost them to maintain this child, especially when the child/children don't get very much of the money sent for them, on them.
Both parents need to put the child/children before their own needs and let both parents spend quality time with them. Children benefit from having both parents around them. One parent shouldn't tell the child/children they can't see the other parent, just because they don't like each other or don't get along. The children will work out the truth in the end, and that will cause even more problems for everyone involved.
nemosmum
20-03-2006, 19:17
i found today that i can actually be claimed as a dependent until the kids all go to school so that looks like at least another 6 to 7 years at this stage unless of course we have one more ( because we want another not because of csa) so his money will reduce greatly or he could quit work and i go to work and she gets 0 every year. we are seriously considering that one.
Im not feeling any love in this room.................
Im not feeling any love in this room.................
this is not on topic
[QUOTE=pumpkin]..but DH is expected to call every 2 weeks plus at xmas go down there for a couple of days and still have to pay the same amount of cs
?
Expected??
As her Father, he would want to do this, even need to do this??
In respect to phone calls and Xmas - why reduce communication and love to dollars??
I don't understand your currency Pumpkin - this is his daughter.
I thought my family was bad - this poor, poor child.
As for relevancy of this post, I am in this situation.
You opened the door Pumpkin, so don't be suprised at what comes through it - even when its wearing combat boots.
Exactly! well said! :yelclap:
pumpkin I think you need to calm down a bit...
People arent trying to start a fight with you just becasue they dont agree with your posts!
This is an open forum and I am not disrepecting anyone expecally not the mods for agreeing with what another member has said on the current topic!
I dont have any trouble reading posts.... geez I have posted in enough of them! :laughing:
We are just expressing our concern for the child... as a mother we do that!
and I wont apolise for that!
pumpkin I think you need to calm down a bit...
People arent trying to start a fight with you just becasue they dont agree with your posts!
This is an open forum and I am not disrepecting anyone expecally not the mods for agreeing with what another member has said on the current topic!
I dont have any trouble reading posts.... geez I have posted in enough of them! :laughing:
We are just expressing our concern for the child... as a mother we do that!
and I wont apolise for that! i am calm i dont know why you htink otherwise??????
the topic is about the 30% option. if you have no input as in you don't know someone who is doing it that way or you are not currently doing it that way then you don't have a say in this topic as that is what it is about!
the mod didnt say whether they agreed either way they were stating to keep it on topic. do you need them to re explain what they wrote? i'm sure they can pm you with it:banghead:
Sorry, but everyone has the right "have their say" in any topic they choose to, regardless of their experience or stance. A difference of opinion is not a personal attack. I think this has gone on for long enough. Thread will be closed.
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