DP feeling used!

[Craftymum]

Is anyone elses DP's feeling used & abused during the TTC phase?

Lol, mine is! In the beginning I think he thought it was great having it every second night! Now he comments he is feeling a bit used! :laughing:

[Katieflutterby]

Yep, your not alone! My DH sometimes says things like that, and I think I wear him out sometimes around O time. I guess the one good thing about the tww is there is no pressure to BD and we both get a nice rest! :laughing:

[SassyMummy]

I don't think it's really that respectful to laugh about it here on BH... I can imagine how they'd feel used... when their partners are, essentially, having sex with them for the sole benefit of getting pregnant.

I imagine before TTC, sex was loving and intimate and such... but while TTC, it becomes a job with a goal.

Perhaps it's not the constant sex that bothers your partners, but the fact that it's done not because you want to be with him in that way, but rather because you want a baby and that's the way to achieve that goal.

I'd feel used too if my partner was having sex with me because he wanted me to fall pregnant... and I can only imagine the "wow, what a pig!" replies I'd get if I came on here and whinged it. Surely the guys deserve the same kind of respect as we'd expect...*shrug*

[Craftymum]

Dont get me wrong, I didnt mean it in a disrepectful way at all. My partner was use to intimacy frequently, just not every second night..... He too wants to conceive just as much as me.

How do you know I am not approaching it in a loving manner rather than making it a 'scheduled appointment'.... I think it is a bit harsh with your assumptions...

Secondly, we all get so bogged down in TTC and reading our bodies and frustration etc that I just thought it would be a light hearted post.

:chillpill:

[Katieflutterby]

I dont think Craftymummy meant it in a bad way at all. We arent laughing at the expense of our DP/DH, we are just commenting on the fact that it can be hard for our partners sometimes when ttc is something that is on both of our minds.

And by no means are we having sex only to conceive, its a bit harsh for you to assume that. We are having sex because we love each other, and if we do conceive, then it is an added bonus. But it is important for those who have been ttc for some time to ensure that we do time things around ovulation, because it provides the best chance. This is something our partners want too, and I dont think the post was really about forcing them against their will, but that it can be tiring sometimes, emotionally and physically (for both parties!!)

Just my opinion.

[Jelly Baby]

:laughing::laughing:

We laugh about this very topic every day. Especially when we have to chuck a quick one in between my son's bottle and breakfast.

He jokes about the fact that at least he's actually 'getting some' these days. (We have an 8.5 month old....need I say more.)

You know it's ovulation time when lube replaces foreplay and "hurry up are you ready!?" replaces long sloppy kisses.

[Nomsie]

Jelly Baby! *gasp* Surely you are not using lube whilst TTCing? *shock horror!* ;) (BTW, it doesn't exactly create a welcome environment for the little guys!)

Sassymummy, I completely understand where you are coming from, and we do all love our partners dearly. But anything to lighten the moods for TTCers, IMHO, I very welcome! It does become monotonous and hard (mentally hard), especially when you have been doing it for quite some time, and although I don't know about anyone else, but I find humour a great way to break up that monotony and bring me back down to earth.
*shrug* It's how I deal with it all, and I know many people can relate :)