BabelFish
05-02-2008, 10:22
I have bipolar disorder and am 17 weeks pregnant, and so far have been going great guns - feeling serene and happy and positive. I haven't really enjoyed being pregnant - no morning sickness but the exhaustion is very wearing and I have sacroiliitis so I'm always in pain - but still, the last few weeks I've started to feel very happy and optimistic and excited.
Anyway, my back's been really, really bad this past week, and I've felt myself getting a bit down and unmotivated and lethargic. We saw the psychiatrist who is going to be looking after us during the pregnancy last week and he is just so lovely - I left feeling so well looked after and happy and positive.
Within a week, though, I've felt exactly the opposite - like the tiredness and pain is just overwhelming, like it's only going to get worse, like I'm behind the 8-ball in everything (work, house) and can't get motivated because I'm always so damn tired, like I'm going to get further and further behind, things are mounting up, there's not enough time for anything... and so on.
Last night I was feeling better after a great session with my lovely physio yesterday, and I was coming down the two stairs into our sunken lounge and my left leg collapsed underneath me, and I fell. Not hard, but I really twisted, and gave myself such a fright. Max rubbed my back in straight away and I felt better, but then I went to the dog's box to fish out a tennis ball to lie on (sounds strange but really helps) and I banged my left temple on the corner of the TV cabinet.
Then I sat down for dinner and in my first mouthful a really sharp piece of food went straight into my gum (and they are really tender at the moment). Well, I just lost it. Started crying and said it was all too much and I just felt overwhelmed. Max was lovely and comforting and I know that I'm going to be emotional at times during this pregnancy but I'm quite scared that I'm heading in that awful downward spiral to depression and I really don't want that to happen. It took me ages and ages to get out of bed this morning and I'm miserable and in a lot of pain and just generally feel rotten.
I was diagnosed with this illness 17 years ago and am good at listening to my body and coping with it - but I wonder if the stress of pregnancy is going to exacerbate any potential problems.
How do you just cope generally with the tiredness, the pain, the increasing physical pressures on your body? I'm sure that is what's getting me down but I need a way to combat it before I sink into a big black hole...
Anyway, my back's been really, really bad this past week, and I've felt myself getting a bit down and unmotivated and lethargic. We saw the psychiatrist who is going to be looking after us during the pregnancy last week and he is just so lovely - I left feeling so well looked after and happy and positive.
Within a week, though, I've felt exactly the opposite - like the tiredness and pain is just overwhelming, like it's only going to get worse, like I'm behind the 8-ball in everything (work, house) and can't get motivated because I'm always so damn tired, like I'm going to get further and further behind, things are mounting up, there's not enough time for anything... and so on.
Last night I was feeling better after a great session with my lovely physio yesterday, and I was coming down the two stairs into our sunken lounge and my left leg collapsed underneath me, and I fell. Not hard, but I really twisted, and gave myself such a fright. Max rubbed my back in straight away and I felt better, but then I went to the dog's box to fish out a tennis ball to lie on (sounds strange but really helps) and I banged my left temple on the corner of the TV cabinet.
Then I sat down for dinner and in my first mouthful a really sharp piece of food went straight into my gum (and they are really tender at the moment). Well, I just lost it. Started crying and said it was all too much and I just felt overwhelmed. Max was lovely and comforting and I know that I'm going to be emotional at times during this pregnancy but I'm quite scared that I'm heading in that awful downward spiral to depression and I really don't want that to happen. It took me ages and ages to get out of bed this morning and I'm miserable and in a lot of pain and just generally feel rotten.
I was diagnosed with this illness 17 years ago and am good at listening to my body and coping with it - but I wonder if the stress of pregnancy is going to exacerbate any potential problems.
How do you just cope generally with the tiredness, the pain, the increasing physical pressures on your body? I'm sure that is what's getting me down but I need a way to combat it before I sink into a big black hole...