CRYS (for others) HELP

[Kaileysmum]

Hello Everyone

I wanted to ask a question about my dd. She is 5.5mths old and she has a problem with other people (everyone except a selected few). She will cry everytime she is held by someone other than me, dh, my brother and my best friend. Everyone else like my parents, dh's parents etc she crys for. This is becoming stressful for her, us and her grandparents (as they want to see her and hold her). Also dh's parents try and make her out to be a bad baby because she does it, and they say we dont let her be held by people so its our fault too (with is cr*p, we try and get others to hold her to get her out of it). VENTING Sorry!!!
I dont care that she doesnt like others, as I love her and I know she wants to be close to me. But as I said it is makinng life hard with the grandparent, other family members and friends.
Is there anything i can do, its been happning since she was 2mths old. Someone suggested putting her in childcare a couple hours a week, so she get used to being held, and around people without us there.

Personally I just thought you couldnt do anything about it, and that she'll grow out of it, But dh wants me to ask for help from all you lovely parents/parents to be.

Thanks in advance. Elice:hugs:

[maydr]

im a stay at home mum with a 7 months old baby girl. dd dont have much of a social activity. very few occasions that she socialize .shes not attending any child care and playgroup yet. and i foresee these even before i gave birth to her, so i thought that she may possibly be anti social. but noh! she loves babbling to anybody, from our relatives and friends and even to strangers. others carrying her was no problem with her too.

i dont know if the things i've red help, but maybe you can try it too.

I've red that some babies maybe anti-social and not enjoying being held. so family members may feel being rejected so try to ignore this negative thoughts. instead keep trying to engage bub's interest. and for bub to become interested, she needs to learn how to fit in. for this reason, you should include her in family activities, outing, shopping, daily chores and visiting friends from as early as possible. talk to her about all the family members and show him photos.

more importantly, bubs learns mainly through imitations, so by copying your behaviour she learns his own standards of social interaction.

hope this help.

[Smurfette]

Olivia went through this phase too. I was concerned it would continue, but it hasnt as is really happy with most people now. Having said that, sometimes she will still cry when she goes to others, usually strangers, any wonder?
I'm sure she will outgrow and just keep doing what you are doing, you are doing a great job and dont let anyone tell you anything different.

[june05isttimer]

Hey there

My little chicken is 9mths old and has not liked being held by others pretty well since she was born.

She is now attending daycare once a week in preparation for me going back to work and although I feel it will be better in the long run, it doesn't really make her any better with people. After 6-7weeks she is only now getting used to the two carers but still cries when we leave her which is heartbreaking.

I found once Hannah was able to crawl and get around I found she was better with people on her own terms. She doesn't like to be handed straigh to people once we get to their house or they come to ours, but rather is better crawling around and people talking to her from a distance. She will then go to them in her own time and is happy as larry.

I too get the whole excuse making for why she is crying (ie is she hungry or tired)
Sometimes I think they are just not comfortable going to people they know or not know, even if they are grandparents etc.

I am trying to help Hannah along somewhat by looking at a playgroup or something like that where she can interact with other kids as well as other adults but whilst I am there rather than just leaving her like I have to do at daycare.

Hopefully this will make her a bit better. I think they will eventually grow out of it to a certain degree but think on the positive side and thats that we should never have too much of a problem with stranger danger.

I think I would have a child who is a bit apprehensive then a child who will go to anyone anytime....

Hope this helps

______________________________

me - 28
DH - 35
little chicken - 9/6/05.:yelclap:

[SassyMummy]

I would let her do it on her own terms...she'll probably grow out of it eventually.

I think it would be quite scary to have all sorts of people you don't know very well touching you and babbling to you. I wouldn't like a stranger to come up to me and start cuddling me and talking cr*p to me, and so I think it's reasonable for your daughter to feel this way too. Perhaps she just needs a little bit of time to get used to other people - to have time to suss them out before handing her over.

My DD is very sociable, so I'm lucky not to have to deal with these problems - but there have been times when she just wants her Mummy. My Dad frightens her...probably because he's a dork and can be pretty loud and over-bearing sometimes. She thinks my brother is HILARIOUS (he tells her she's fat and says mean things to her in a funny voice...and she just LOVES him!)...and loves my mother too.

DD's starting to look very serious around strangers recently. I think she's just deciding that she doesn't want EVERYONE to touch her unless SHE wants them too.

I'm sure your bub will do the same. She'll let you know when she's ready to go to someone else. Rushing her into it, IMO, will just frighten her and be even more fearful and untrusting.

Good luck though - I imagine it would be tough on her grandparents!

[Baby Girl]

DD1 was like this until she was about 2. If she didn't spend a lot of time with someone she didn't want to be held by them.

DP's family couldn't get that through their heads - they would see her once every 5 or 6 months and crowd around her and hand her from one to the other and the poor thing was petrified,. I lost count of the amount of times i had to 'rescue' her because DP would just let them go saying "she'll be okay in a minute, when she gets used to them". Aha, 9 siblings all pulling and tugging for a hold of a screaming baby - yeah sure she'll settle!! They always thought I was over-protective and that was why she didn't like going to others :rolleyes: