Screaming at me.

[Desertress]

Someone please tell me that this is just a phase and that i havnt raised a monster.... My son turned 3 on the 2nd of this month and since then his tantrums and 5x. He yells and screams at everything now, whenever he dosnt get his way.

He is very defiant and will always test his boundaries.... if i say dont so something he will do it again just to make sure. It is becomming to much to handel because my little boy has turned into a devil.

He can be a very kind and caring little boy and him and his little brother get on great but i just feel like he screams at everything i tell him not to do.

Does anyone have any ideas on how to stop him screaming... it is a real loud scream to and living in a complex of 12 ... people probably think im trying to kill him everyday:/

[JodieC]

I would just walk away and ignore it. Once they learn that theyre not going to get any attention from it, it usually stops

[Bronte'sMum]

I would also just try to walk away ( incredibly hard when you're mindful of the neighbours and tired ) and then as soon as he stops I would praise him for taking to mummy in a quiet voice. I would try to maximise the praise whenever you can.

I think that three is also not too early to start using time out eg such as a step or little chair. It can be hard at first as the tantrums will increase so if you have a partner team work is essential so that each of you is not carrying the load alone and there is consistency between you.

Triple P program has some xcellent ideas on taming tantrums. They're probably on the web.

Hope that helps. Its really tiring dealing with constant tantrums, but its great that you're tackling it now before it becomes ingrained.

[Cade's Mum]

Hi Desertress

I had the same thing with DS when he turned three, we seemed to skip the "terrible two's" and went straight into I don't know what, I think though, at that age, the kidlets are coming more into their own and know how they feel but just can't communicate it well, hence the screaming fits.

I agree with the ignoring and the naughty step (Go supernanny !) But I also think that reinforcing the correct way to speak is important too (when they have calmed down) , one of the things that my daycare does and I carried this on at home as well, is to get them into the habit of using certain words, phrases when they feel a particular way. ie: 'I don't like that' or we 'don't talk that way in our house' Its amazing how quickly they pick up these key phrases and start using them (even back at you)in place of the random screaming. You can use whatever phrases you are a happy with. This worked really well - the tantrums stopped and is still working now a year and a bit later.

Hope that helps :D

[Kirstlea]

Oh Desertress :(

I am sure my almost 3 dd is going to spin her head around sometimes. Your description of your ds turning into the devil is what prompted me to answer to your post;

Don't even know if I can help as I am struggling with the same problem.

When dd starts yelling at me I say in a quiet voice, please do not yell at me, speak to me quietly. If she ignores me I say well I have better things to do than have you yell at me and I just walk away. This has worked sometimes. (I do this to my dh too:laughing: )

When I ask her to stop doing something and she defiantly ignores me then I tell her she had better stop by the count of three or there will be consequences.

So far I have no idea what the consequences will be, but she is not game to find out;)

Last weekend we were having dinner with an old school friend and the little (toad) threw her food at my friend (who does not have kids). I was so angry and embarrassed. Anyway, I stayed calm and just took her food away and told her there would be no more food as she was throwing it away I understood her actions to be that she wasn't hungry. (it wasn't phrased quite that way but close enough).

As hard as it is I try to stay calm in her face even though I am seething inside and if it gets too much for me I raise my voice back at her and tell her I do not like her yelling at me anymore than she likes me yelling at her so stop it now or she can sit on the naughty spot.

Good Luck

Kirsten