when do you have the "chat"

[tobmac]

Hi All,
just wondering what age do you think is the right time to have that "chat" with your daughters? my dd1 is 8 and full of attitude and some of her friend mums have had the "chat" but alot havent as they have said they are too young and want them to still be kids for awhile.....................
So my questions are.......

1. What age do you think or have given your kids the "chat"?

2. At what age have your kids had their first period?.......................... i didnt get mine until i was 13 so i dont know if that will gauge on when she gets hers??

[punkbaby]

DD is 10 in march, i told her in Grade 4, start of last year. Only as i noticed she was starting to get boobs and thought it best i tell her now rather than have her freak out (she hates blood) I was about 13 but my sisters were around 10 so i would rather cover myself. They did get a brief education about it at school in grade 4 though which helped. I have given her a pack of pads which are in the bathroom so she knows where they are when she gets it and i have told her how to use them etc so rather than have her getting it and asking me how to use it there and then. She also stashed on under the lining in her school bag so no one could see it LOL it was quiet funny she was so intrigued about it that she thought it would be best that she take one with her.

I am dreading my girls growing up this house is going to be PMT central

[Nomsie]

Hi, I don't have kids, but I can tell you this

A lot of girls are getting theirs earlier than their mother ever did due to hormones and preservatives etc in the food that they eat... 10 is like the new 13 for menarch (1st period)!

My Mum never really gave me the chat as such.. my elder sis got hers (we shared a room) and mum got her a book from the library to help with her explanation (it was comic book style, but not so comical!) and when sis was done with it, Mum gave it to me and said I had better read it and come to her with any questions. Well! I only ever read it if no one else was around- I was so embarassed to be THINKING about those things! But luckily though, I got my period maybe 6 months later.

A lot of primary aged kids actually know what a period is. They may have heard their friends talk about it, or I know I have mentioned a period to the kids in my grade (5/6) before when talking about the human body etc...

[lollydove]

my dd1 just turned 9 yesterday and i gave her the talk last week (after which she went on to tell me she has never heard of anything more disgusting in her life and she wishes she was a boy now), only because my mum never gave me the talk and so when i walked into the girls toilet at school one fateful morning i thought someone had been murdered and started screaming :laughing: :o didnt help that some dirty girl had flung her pad all over the walls and floor :barf: so you can imagine me being an 11 year old girl who had never known that AF existed and walk in to find blood everywhere. My bestie explained to me what it was and i think i preferred thinking someone had been murdered lol

also my dd1 had had a firm swollen boob, just under the nipple area and only a bit bigger than a 50c piece and im thinking she might be starting to get them already (i want to cry!) but its only one so im not sure. I do remember mine feeling the same way when they started but i was 11 when and AF didnt come until 13. very scary how young our girls are getting these things *sob sob*

[Mel W-C]

i dont have children(yet) but thought that i would give my opinion.

My mum told me about all that girl stuff when i was 10 which i think is a good age as its (hopefully) before it starts and you arent to young to understand what will happen, i also think thats its a good idea to let them know where the pads are and to have one in their school bad just incase.

[punkbaby]

The reason i have pads stashed is that i remember geting mine only dad was ome i was so embarassed i had to use tooilet paper for 6 hours :(

[poshBecks]

I think I was about 10 when I got the chat? I think...

My mum didn't show me how to use pads though until I got my period....


The reason i have pads stashed is that i remember geting mine only dad was ome i was so embarassed i had to use tooilet paper for 6 hours :(

You make a good point!! I will stash during the chat!! :p

Do you guys remember wanting them to come? I think it was mostly in grade 7 (once a lot of the other girls were getting theirs), I used to check everyday for them....:o

Then the day they arrived... I wished they would go away!! :laughing:

[WorkingClassMum]

My niece is 10. She has boobs, she has AF.

My sister had had a chat with her a few months earlier when pubic hair started showing.

When AF started, we had a girls night out, Sis#1, niece 10, SIL#1 niece 16, me and DD 4, SIL#2, Sis#3 and niece 1.

We had cake & coffee at Starbucks, some of us had nails done, I had an eyebrow OUCH wax, we all went to Bras "n" Things etc. We didn't actually mention AF much, just all congratulated niece 10 for starting her path to womenhood and helped to make her feel special.

[Mum&bubs]

My mum gave me the chat when I was in year 7 so I was 12. I got my period at the end of year 7. I haven't really thought about when I'd give it to my daughters, I'm guessing when they are around 10-11.

[bluey]

Alot of the schools discuss it now, starting in year 5. My girls knew a fair bit of what was happening, but they were older than most getting them.

My GP said girls are starting now to develop much much earlier - where as maybe 20 years ago, girls got AF at 13 or 14, now it's as young as 10 and some even earlier :( It's not right, they shouldn't have to deal with it that young, but they do.

My two were nearly 13 - year 8 at high school and the other one 14 year 9 at high school. So they were well prepared. Heaven knows when my youngest will start.

Breast buds are the start, so I think once you've noticed them, I would give the talk.

[Missy75]

Thanks for bringing raising this topic. DD turns 10 in about a month and her boobs are starting to grow so I guess it's time for us to chat. She asked when she was about 7 what pads and tampons are for so we had a bit of a chat then, but we'd better have a refresher and I'll buy her some pads.

I know what you mean poshbecks - my Mum bought me some when I was about 11 or 12 and I didn't get to use them until I was 14. Carried one in it's old tattered wrapping in my school bag for years. :laughing:

[sloaney]

I got my AF when I was 11. My bust began developing when I was 9 :eek:


I remember my mother giving me money to go down to the chemist and buy some pads - an 11 year old :no: And I had to ask her to buy me a bra when I was 13 and attending high school, I was sick of the teasing.

But this says a hell of a lot more about my mother's priorities than anything else.

Have that chat early and have supplies ready - and please don't make fun of her. My mother did stuff like that (and worse - see above) and frankly I don't think I'll ever forgive that.