Fab Feb mums chat~ our BIRTHDAY month! [Archive] - Page 2

my_lot

27-02-2008, 11:57

Id like to put something out here....

We are talking about communication. The fact that i think asking someone questions during a conversation, shows that you are interested. This in turn creates a feeling inside of mateship, understanding, a sounding board, advice is given, support is shown, suggestions are thrown back and forth and it creates a bond of life shared.

DP says the way women talk to their friends is a far closer way than the way men talk to mates.Ok i agree.

I ask him where the relationship, the dance of communication, should be then between a couple.

he says somehwere inbetween.

Ok then. ours ours should be slightly more intense that a blokes "how ya doing mate" but it will never be a "howd that make you feel"

Why cant i accept that?

because i always saw him as my friend. :(

so how do i get that back in our lives. or am i just to expect that over time ,and children, that it becomes like this.

any suggestions greatly welcomed.

blubber

27-02-2008, 16:40

Kay, firstly hope your going ok today.

Your communication descriptions and feelings are so very common.

What i know is that not all people are the same therefore no relationship is the same.
The common ground of male/female or lover/friend can be formed or bonded by the sort of communication that birthed the relationship.

Many people believe they feel in love and married their best friend. I know i did.
What was communication then, 10 years ago to what it is now is different. Not bad, just different....well sometimes bad. I talk to much and he prefers not to sometimes.

I think once the relationship developes, the years pass and the children arrive inevitabily you learn more about the person.
Their coping skills, their willingness to confront issues and more importantly how they approach a resolution.

I think i have increased my need to talk things through and that may not always be the answer.

However we will never loose the desire, need or expecation for a response an interest or a reaction to a conversation you are trying to conduct. Good bad or indifferent. That too me is just dam rude to switch off.

Hope that helps, talk soon.
:thumbsup:

bAaM

27-02-2008, 22:03

:iagree: with Marianne.

Id also like to add that the realationship between 2 women have some many more emotions and stuff that men dont normally go through with there male friends.

Kay does he have trouble expressing himself in emotional situations.

Maybe he doesnt no or ever been taught how to show empathy for an upset loved one, he may only know how to push ppl away and hurt them with words to make himself feel better.

I dunno but i do know that your a beautiful woman with a very special soul that deserves to be treated better.

Might i add that you do WAYYY to much and get very little in return, maybe stopping this will help a certon person realise how much u really do.

JMO i hope it helps

harleyq

28-02-2008, 09:58

sandy- i blew my birthday wishes over yonda, hope you saw it there. did you only go to the zoo for a few hours? Sure did!!! Thanks for all the birthday wishes guys. Coen had a wonderful day -we took him to the zoo - loves the giraffes!!!

Mon - love the video!!!

Better get back to work!!! Hi everyone! Thanks for the stats Leashie.... have updated... will be sending out the spreadsheet end of next week if anybody else is interested.

ProudMum0307

28-02-2008, 14:56

Hi Ladies.. :shakehands:
Hopefully I won't cause too much confusion being in here.. :confused:

My name is Monique (a.k.a Mon), I have 2 kids.. My youngest Braedyn was born 21st Feb 2007 :) Have just celebrated his 1st bday :party:

bAaM

28-02-2008, 15:09

:smiliedance:YAY another feb mummy, welcome MON
and happybirthday Braedyn for last thursday.

You will love it here.

Tell us about your little man his birth and stuff.
Is he walking??

welcome again.

Roopee

28-02-2008, 20:31

Welcome to Monique!:wave: And happy birthday to Braedynhappybirthday. Your more than welcome here! Jump right in!

Leashie? How are you! Hope your ok:hugs:

Sandy- great to see you in here again!!!!

Kay-he is right in some respect that women and men do communicate differently, however a man and his partner should be able to talk anything through.
The brain is the biggest aphrodesiac ( i know thats spelt wrong) and unless a woman feels, valued, appreciated, and most of all heard he can do whatever he likes- it wont make a scrap of difference.

I think that its imperative that your able to communicate- that you both care about each other's comings and goings throughout the day. That he asks you how your day was and you ask him.
I also think that when you bring children into any relationship its bound to alter the dynamics. The men are kind of pushed aside as the baby takes the major role. They take it personally- like a child would. We dont even notice.
Hmm this is turning out to be more about me i think lol.

I dont kow what to do- i would say talk it out but he doesn't seem too open with that idea so maybe the next step is the hard line.
If he is not prepared to communicate with you- yoiu might have to make him see it without you. Go to your mums for a few days and give him time to think about what his family means to him?

Mariannes-post was awesome.

bAaM

28-02-2008, 20:41

Hi girls,

We havent had a very good day here.
I had the doctor today and i have to have an u/s tomorrow looks like i have m/c and havent passed it all, will find out tomorrow if i need a D&C.
I am so hoping it is something else, but i am probably just in denial, the doctor seemed pretty sure, but i guess we will find out tomorrow.

The doctor wants to get me back onto the pill as well to regulate my AF so i guess there will be no babe for us fr a few months.:(

kay Are you ok?:hugs:

Not alot from me tonight not feeling the best i will catch up tomorrow.

Leashie:flowerz:

Lukeandmattsmum

28-02-2008, 20:42

Hi guys

Welcome Mon and happy birthday to Braedyn for last thursday. Look forward to chatting to you.

Kay sorry but i have no advice because my dp is being a sh!t head at the moment too. Although Marianne, Leashie and Tan have had really good advice and maybe i should listen to them too. Man can just be such idiots at times.

Not much new here this week, Matt is walking more and more now and i think Luke may eventually be toilet trained. I'm in shock i thought he would take a lot longer, but this week he has been a real trooper. I know there are going to be times when he has accidents and that, but i am just happy that i don't have to buy so many nappies anymore.:smiliedance:

Lukeandmattsmum

28-02-2008, 20:45

Leashie, we must of posted at the same time.

:hugs::hugs::hugs: coming your way darl. hope you feel better soon.

Don't forget we are always here for a chat if you feel up to it.

Take care. Make sure you have some time to yourself to recover.

my_lot

28-02-2008, 22:17

hi everyone:

Hi New Mon i sent you a private message

leashie- :hugs: please PM me your ph no.

leashie, M and Tan and kylie- Thanks for the words of wisdom.

We are talking it through. Its seems we just slipped into the ho hum of daily life. We are working on what we can do for couple time (apart from :shakehands:) We need some time to relax and do things together. He has said he'd like to see a show or go out to dinner, alone, as a couple, one weekend but im not sure if i can leave my bubby at night :(

The older kids are no worry- they love to go to the kids clubs at our local clubs. we see a show and they are looked after on the grounds...but eli cant go.

So we are starting with a movie on Sat night after the kids have gone to bed...and ill think some more about the going out without eli thing.

Its been very interesting to pick my mere males mind. Hes just been so far off the mark when it comes to reading my mind, body language and feelings and didnt know the effect it was having on me. couple that with a lack of communication and it leads to :hair::hissy: and he wonders why. thinks its that time of the month :laughing:

hi kim how are you.

SuperFrog

29-02-2008, 08:14

Another Mon? I'm not sure I can cope with that! First there was another Liam, then I found out that Juzz's partner has the same name as my DH, and now another Mon! My individuality is slowly being stripped away!

Okay, now that I've got that bit of melodrama out of my system, welcome aboard Monique! I'm actually a Monica, so I think this will work out fine. ;)

Kay - It's too easy to slip into a stagnant routine with your partner. We've been there, and are in the process of revitalising. I think most relationships go through this phase as some point. The strength comes down to your commitment to making it work and your honesty with each other. Communication is vital... not just talking, but also listening to what the other person is saying. Sometimes easier said than done.

Still haven't got my blood test results back. I've been really tired for a long time now, and have been smelling smoke when there isn't any around. Very strange.

Leashie - Thinking of you.

blubber

29-02-2008, 08:47

Hoo Hoo,

Just a quick one this morning. Will catch up properly later

Kisses to all who are needing them this morning or yesterday. Be thinking of you and will chat soon.

WELCOME MON - don't be scared to say your bit, we all do.:laughing::laughing:

More family arriving today for the weekend. BIL & SIL and niece and nephew. Thankfully they are the "good" ones.

toodaloo

oh, who is this Lukeandmattsmum...some kind of stalker...hehe...hey Kylie:raspberry:

Roopee

29-02-2008, 11:46

Still haven't got my blood test results back. I've been really tired for a long time now, and have been smelling smoke when there isn't any around. Very strange.

I might be waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay off here but you couldn't be pregnant could you?:p

Hi Everyone:wave:

mummybunny

29-02-2008, 13:29

just thought id pop in nd say hello to everyone,
how are you all??

HI KAY :wave: i seen you said hello!!

i might be a little out of it or not around for a few months i have heaps to deal with at the moment, my dad started Kemo today and i have really bad feelings about it, i dont know why but something is going to happen i dont know what but i can feel it and im usually pretty good with my feelings... i knew my best friends was preg 4 weeks before she did.
During his first 1/2 an hour today he had a huge reaction and couldn't breath he was surrounded by doctors and he had to be put on the oxygen mum totally freaked and so did i when she called to tell me. she was in tears she is so scared and trying so hard not to be and im so angry that i feel i cant help her atm cause i cant even keep myself together.
worst thing is i cant even go see him or take Riley to see him as we are both getting the flu yep sucks so much cause i know letting him see Riley will do wonders. it will build his spirit back up again.
i just ask tat everyone keep us in there thoughts and prayers and remember im still around even if not posting i just need some time to adjust and get used to the fact that our family is about to go threw a massive change..

thanks for reading girls

xxx

Kim

oh and Welcome to New Mon!!

SuperFrog

29-02-2008, 13:57

I might be waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay off here but you couldn't be pregnant could you?:p

That's what everyone says, and it is a definite no.

i might be a little out of it or not around for a few months i have heaps to deal with at the moment...

oh and Welcome to New Mon!!
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Hang in there Kim.

Does this mean I am Old Mon?? :crying:

bAaM

29-02-2008, 15:23

Hi girls,

Kim:hugs: you and all your family are in our thought hunny and if there is anything at all i can do all you have to do is ask.

Mon you can be young mon:D

Did anyone else see the little comment about how this thread is so negative and its the same old sh!t, well it really p!ssed me off, all i can say is if you dont like it DONT BLOODY READ IT. Instead of having a sooky la la why dont you just worry about your own life instead off putting people down:thumbsdown: But it was more then half expected from the person it came from.

Just had to get that out sorry.

I had my u/s and the stupid b!tch wouldn't tell me a thing then i waited around for the results so i could see what she wrote and she told me she would send the report to my doctor:hair:

So i rang to doc when i got home and he was gone for the day and i cant get into see him till next wednesday.

I'm sooooo angry, but there isnt much i can do.

Is YOUNG Mon going to be a mummy again;):p

blubber

29-02-2008, 15:51

Leashie i can tell you that i ALWAYS read the reports in any US i had or will have. My body my right.

I think young Mon/old Mon would agree with you in realtion to the waiting game for results. I don't think we will ever get past being a number when tests and results are in question.
When Elly was in hospital at 4 motnhs i had to ring daily, after she went home for her results. I know if i hadn't we would have never received them.

Hang in there mate, thinking of you.

Kay, it is said that a visit back to your past life, whether it be pre children or somewhere in between is a good rejuvenation.

The night out may be just what you guys need. Is there one particular reason you feel you can't leave Eli? I know the obvious being he is your darling son. I know the club set up with the kids, Broken Hill was similar, although we never used it.

I think you maybe meaning with a sitter and they are hard to come by and you have to be dam sure and comfortable about who that person is....ok so have i just answered the question for you?!!

Anyway enjoy the night in.

Kim, stay strong.