More AP style with your 2nd/3rd etc baby?

[only1mica]

Hi there

Well I am not sure how to start this...(I am not a huge AP'er but I deff use a fair few ideals... I was wondering if other people feel the way I do about this.

1st time around...Eve was very hands on baby...I listened to so many different people cause i thought they knew the right things....she 'should' be sleeping, 'dont let her fall asleep at the breast', 'you will spoil her if you hold her', 'she has to exercise her lungs' yada yada
and I listened to them (wtf was i thinking??)

The only thing I stuck to my guns on was BFing...went to 16 months and would have been longer if it werent for being pregers (major BFing aversion), we started co-sleeping when she was about 8 months ...and we all started getting more sleep after that.

this time around, I am getting ready to wear this baby all the time, not expecting anymore that 40mins naps during the day...ever, co-sleeping...with both babies in our 'family bed' (just have to work out logistics), i feel like I am just going to go with my instincts much more with this baby....and hope he/she is more settled because of that.

anyone done a similar thing? and look back at the first time and think...'what was i doing?'

[only1mica]

of couse some of you have been wise enough to know that all these things worked (with your first child) and didnt listen to anyone or any book....

[borntobemummy]

We are exactly the same, I've been far more instinctive and relaxed this time around and we have made a few changes in those areas too. Next time I suspect it will be even more ap style.

[bubs_and_us]

yep, we will be :yes:

with DS, we controlled cried, FF, used a pram, put him in his own room at 4 weeks old etc etc

next time, i will wear him if he wants to (we will still have a pram though), breastfeed, no controlled crying, i will hold him more, and he can stay in our room as long as he wants (no co-sleeping for us though - tried it with DS and hated it)

next time, i will ignore all the well meaning comments and go with my mummy instinct!

[misskittyfantastico]

Most definately:yes:. DD was about 9 months before I finally clicked and let her lead the way. Before then I tried to do the "right" thing and all it did was really mess up our relationship (something I still have major guilt over). They're only small for so long, I don't ever want to waste that precious time trying to "train" a child ever again.

[3cherubs]

With both DD1 and 2 they were BF till 12 weeks then FFed. They were VERY routine, were CCried and slept in their cot. Also, used a pram too.

But with DD3, she co-slept and also i slept in the same room she was in. Now her cot is in our room and she will sometimes co -sleep. She is demand fed and i pat her to sleep or put her in a sling.

Oh, and she has been in a pram 2 times(5 mths old),
i use a carrier when out.

So, with my DD3 i have used many AP ways, as i would have been one of those mothers that said "you willl make a rod for your back if you do that" when my other 2 were little.

MY mother says i spoil DD3, i probably do as she is my last..:crying::crying:

[only1mica]

They're only small for so long, I don't ever want to waste that precious time trying to "train" a child ever again.

That is exactly the way I feel too...:yes:

[ziggie]

:yes: I have done this with Linc.
I beat myself up so much after Mitch was born... trying to follow all these parenting books that I read, that were telling me how my child 'should' behave. It was doing my head in, and making me think there was something wrong with him.

With Linc, I'm very much following his leads, and using my instincts more.

And it's very sad, but I feel as though I've enjoyed Linc's first 3 months way more than Mitch's first 3 months. :(

[QTB]

yep me too... brayden was FF (but not by choice) half cot half co-slept, pram riding etc

this bub will be fully breastfed, co-slept/hammock slept, sling'ed

i cant wait :D

[forbetoel]

I have always just relied on my instincts totally, and as a result have enjoyed each of my 4 babies so much. I never listened to anyone really and certainly never read any books on how to raise my baby. It just seemed odd to me from the start that there would be books written with a 'one size fits all' approach. Thats just weird.
Oh and I will just add that I am not an AP, but welcome anything that comes about from your own intincts. :thumbsup:

[Milliner]

Yes. With DS, I listed to too many people about what he should be doing, where he should be sleeping etc. I did BF until he self weaned and I plan to do the same this time around.

Now, DD sleeps with me at night and in a hammock during the day, No CC
(never did that with DS), Exclusivley BF ( I WILL not listen to Dr telling me that my child needs 'top ups'), I babywear part time. I am not sure that DD will ever go into a cot, maybe if she is a bed hog like DS then I will think about making her cot a sidecar.

I will always trust my instincts and come to bubhub when in doubt. :D

[SassyMummy]

I plan to be more AP.

I breastfed DD for 3 weeks, then bottle. I had a caesarean. I controlled cried. I co-slept until she was 3 months. I babywore a little bit.

Next baby I want to reach age 2 when it comes to breastfeeding, I want to have a homebirth, I want to babywear a lot more, and avoid controlled crying. I'll co-sleep for a bit, but don't think I'll co-sleep for that long because it's something DP obviously gets a bit of say in, and he doesn't really like it...

[OJandMe]

Completely different this time around.

Of course it was very hard to carry both twins in a sling... so we had to use a pram. It was a completely different parenting style. CC, cot, pram, routine.

With Gabs I just let him lead, but I do have a set bedtime. We've used the pram maybe 4 times, and we go out 2-3 times a week.

He sleeps in a cot though, because he preffers it, and because we often have the twins in bed with us... there is literally no room!

[Lil X-men]

Yep way more AP this time than last. I dont follow any strict guidelines for rasing my kids but I found this time I do more of what my gut tells me and less of what others told me.
So this time we co slept for the first fourmonths ( still do if he is sick or unsettled). am BF this time ( bottlefed last time ), using cloth this time, sposies last time. I dont CC this time, I did last time. I like to carry DS this time, last time I took the pram everywhere.
I also had no drug free birth this time, epidural last time ( taking into acc my second birth was a lot easier than my first, so if I had a 30 hour labour second time around I may have opted for an epidural again who knows.)

[MordecaiAliVanAllenO'Shea]

I'm worried I'll be less AP/natural/instinctive just because of logistics with my second bub. Or actually with both - eg DS was never left to cry, picked up immediately, but what if I'm in the middle of doing something with DS, then the baby will have to wait a bit....and vice versa. Also DS has hardly ever been in a pram, but while I'll sling the baby DS might have to go in a pram more regularly because while he is great at walking alongside me in shops if it's a while he'll get tired and it will be hard to sling the baby AND carry DS.

I will however be more confident with following my instincts as it has worked with DS so I feel now I can say to people "well here is my proof." BF to sleep till 15mnths and now self-settles easily - no CC needed. Happy, confident, well adjusted little boy. And I think because I dont have that whole 'first time mother' thing going I'll be more confident when telling doctors or CHN I dont agree with them or that I'm not going to follow their advice.