OMG I Control Cried her for first time

[Lipsmacker01]

DH and I cc our almost 9 month old girl tonight for the first time. She normally goes to sleep at 9pm every night but tonight she had her solids veg feed at 5.30 followed by a bath at 6. I breast fed her at a quarter to 7 and we let her cry from 7-8:(

The most shed ever cried is 40 mins...and this was on a car trip once.

This CC was the hardest thing Ive ever had to do.
I went to a sleep session thing with my council today and they suggested it as I was at my wits end. My girl was going to bed WAYYY too late...and subsequently waking through the night for top ups.

Shes still sleeping now thank god, this was after a booby feed. I gave her plenty of reassurance...I spoke to her softly...and patted her bum. Poor thing was so sweaty too.

Please..does anyone out there know when it will get easier...i want to try it again for the rest of the week...or as long as I can. Is it by day 3 where it gets easier. I seriously hope Im doing the right thing as I know she misses out on lots of sleep at night.

For those of you who are 'for this method'....please tell me if Im doing the wrong thing. I need some reassurance that the next few days will be better.:fingerscrossed:

[poshBecks]

:hugs: CC worked wonders for my kids. :)

Here's what I did.... start with only letting them cry for 2 mins. Then go in resettle, then leave them for 3 mins and resettle. Keep going up until you get to 10 mins. Never let them cry for longer than 10 mins. Always go back in and re settle after 10 mins. Once you have reached the 10 min mark. Keep going in after every 10 mins until they fall asleep.

During the timing, I would set a timer & turn the tele up real loud to block out the crying (this helped me not to fret so much).

It seriously only takes a few days for them to get it.

Sending many cuddles. It is hard :hugs::hugs: (but worth it imo :))

[studyingECS]

It took my mother 3 days of controlled crying to get me into a successfull sleep routine.....I was about a year old my mother said. So there is hope. although you go with your gut and do whats right for you.

[monkeytoes]

It will get better!!

The key to successful CC is that you need to be consistant. Don't cave in!
We did it with DD at 6months. It took about a week, but we could see an improvement within 2 or 3 days.

Good luck

[forbetoel]

Yes it gets easier. My kids responded to CC straight away, after only 2 nights, so you might already be half way through it.

Goodluck, and keep going, it does work.

[honeydew]

Well done, the hardest part is over! The first time we did it with our son I stood in the kitchen and cried while he screamed in his room. We did it because he was waking half hourly through the night for his dummy at 9 months old and I could not go on anymore. So I threw the dummies in the bin and that night we did the CC technique.

The very next night he slept through!

Good luck, I hope it will get easier for you :fingerscrossed: Remember that every time you give in you are starting from scratch again- someone told me that and that was incentive enough for me to stay strong.

:hugs:

[Mrs Little]

Hang in there...it does get easier. Each baby is different but most show an improvement by 3 days at the least.

As poshbeck explained, you can go in and help settle her every 2 or 3 mins. I found it too hard to just let them go altogether...i could never do that to either of my boys. So i would go in after a few mins and just reassure them, wait for the big sigh and then leave again. I did have to go in a few times...

Both my boys responded with a day or so.

It will be worth it...you'll be so proud of her and yourself for sticking with it. You will both receive the rewards for your hard work.

The joys of parenting!!

Mrs Little & Sons.

[iamLilysmummy]

WELL DONE!!

keep at it and she'll get the hint,
i no its hard,, i hated doing it,, id feel so bad,
but lily is now 6 months and has slept thru the night for ages!!

now when its bed time i give her ,, her dummy and her dolly!! and shes ok,,
BUT,, atm shes teething,, so she gets sooky.

[Lipsmacker01]

Thank u so much everyone! Sarah only woke up twice! and fed so incredibly well...ive never seen her booby feed so strongly. Thats what she really wanted not the 10 time a night soft feeds where she would feed for comfort. I felt guilty but I was rewarded this morning! DH and I have our life back too :)

[monkeytoes]

Hey Lipsmacker, how did your DD go last night?

[Lipsmacker01]

Dont know if I did as good last night. We let sarah cry for 45 mins then I decided to feed her. She went to sleep 5 mins to 8pm...and woke up at 11.30, 1.30 and 5.30ish for top ups....so not sure if that was going well. Today is strange shes only had two cat naps during the day when she normally sleeps at least two hours during day broken up into two naps one in arvo and one in morning. Hoping tonight is better :fingerscrossed:
Apparently it takes 3 -14 days? for her to start showing improvement? Thats a long time!

[Mrs Potts]

I'm sorry it didn't go as well last night, but don't lose heart. We CC'd DS and yes it was hard, but totally worth it.

You might have to try to avoid "topping her up" if she wakes during the night. For example, feed her when she woke at 11.30, but when she woke again at 1.30 maybe CC her again because you know that she's only recently had a feed so really it's only comfort feeding. You really need to be prepared to try this for it to work properly.

If she has a feed immediately before you put her to bed then you shouldn't have to give her another feed if she takes a while to settle.

Also remember sleep begets sleep. The more and better they sleep, the better they will sleep IYKWIM. Which goes some way to explaining why she was unsettled today.

Every bub is different, but you should definitely be seeing some improvement within a few nights. Good luck, be strong and have some of these :hugs::hugs:

[Cheekychops]

It's not a long time when you compare it to possible years of broken/bad sleep...

Keep at it - and don't give in, if you know she's had a decent feed, don't feed her when you go in after 45min... just comfort her and leave again... it will happen - she may be a little stubborn but in the long run healthier for all of you when she 'gets it'....

[CharlisMummy]

:hugs: Hang in there!

We did CC with our DD and were so lucky, it only took 1 night and she's been sleeping beautifully since. She was waking every 45 minutes before that :sleeping:

We had tried it once before but it was too hard so we left it for a month or so then tried again, this time with my DH being the only one to go in to re settle every few minutes. We found that if I were to go in she be hysterical for mummy and wouldn't settle until I BF her. With DH doing it alone it only took 20 minutes of in and out resettling and she was asleep.

If she does wake in the night now DH will be the one to go in. As soon as she sees him she will lay back down. I go in when its time for her BF (between 5 and 6 am) So, if its daddy she thinks 'oh its still night time' but when its me she knows its ok to be awake and its time for milkies.

Sorry to ramble, but maybe that might work for you, if your partner is the one to go in??

Goodluck :hugs:

[monkeytoes]

Sorry to hear it didn't go so well last night.
I agree with the other posts. Send you're partner in! Or offer her only water to drink, she may realise it's not worth waking up for.

Good luck

[Lipsmacker01]

Thank you ladies:)

Tonight is day 3 of our CC and so far so good! My almost 9 month old girl only had to 40 min catnaps today...gave her a feed just before 7pm (unfortunately she fell asleep on booby)...she slept for about 25 mins and fed her again for about another ten mins...as I know her previous feed wasnt quite her normal 15 min feed.

Popped her into bed just before 8....I heard her protesting....went in only twice in a 4 min period and she was fast asleep!

Im hoping for a better night tonight. The water feed is a great idea...ive done it a few times as she has been really thirsty and hasnt had issues falling asleep after it.

Im going to take the advice of trying to settle and not offering a booby feed if she wakes soon after a previous feed.

Ill fill you all in on our progress tomorrow :)

[cath]

Good luck to you. It is the hardest thing in the world but it really is worth doing. I am still amazed that I now have 2 boys who can be put into bed awake and go off to sleep on their own. We did it at 16 months with our first after spending hours feeding/rocking him to sleep and we did a gentler version (sitting next to him comforting him and picking him up at 15 minute intervals) with our 6 month old starting a couple of months ago. It really is so good to be able to put them into bed and have them go off to sleep on their own. It dramatically decreases the call outs overnight and makes putting them to bed so much easier. At the end of the day your sanity is very important if you are to function effectively as their parent. Good luck!

[Lipsmacker01]

Heres an update on night 3!

DD1 went to sleep at 7 after her feed..woke up 25 mins later and we let her cry for 5 mins and she fell asleep till 11.30. Fed her then and she woke at 2.30, 3.30 and 4.30. At the 4.30 feed I was trying to get her to cry it out but I gave up as DH was getting angry as he wakes at 6am and it was almost his wake up time. Doh.

Im planning on trying this all again this weekend.
I can honestly say that the 2.30am feed was a big comfort sucking feed as she really dragged it out. I tried letting her cry at 3.30 (obviously not long enough though) as it was late at night...so I fed her then too for about ten mins. This was a stronger feed.


I dont know if I should be getting rid of all the feeds or just some...Im starting with just some.

Hopefully tonight goes better.

[Lipsmacker01]

I know my 9 month old girl is still adjusting to this whole CC thing, however she was really constipated this morning. Does anyone thing her night wakings could have been due to this? she had really hard poo the last few days and has been knocking back more water feeds than before?
Took me a whole hour of bed...booby a bit of CC and floor play to get her to finally eat and sleep at 9am this morning...just wondering.

[Cheekychops]

Definately a good idea to start cutting night feeds... she doesn't really need them at this age - she can go without them... but if some is easier than all (for you) then just start with some. You may be happy feeding her once in the night for another 6 months, or you may rather wean her off night feeds altogether - whatever works for you! Keep at it - I know it's hard to let her cry in the middle of the night as 2 minutes feels like 3 hours!!!

[Lipsmacker01]

Definately a good idea to start cutting night feeds... she doesn't really need them at this age - she can go without them... but if some is easier than all (for you) then just start with some. You may be happy feeding her once in the night for another 6 months, or you may rather wean her off night feeds altogether - whatever works for you! Keep at it - I know it's hard to let her cry in the middle of the night as 2 minutes feels like 3 hours!!!

Thanks Cheekychops!

U know I could handle her crying...as I know its doing her good at 2 in the morning...but DH couldnt hack it! Ive gotta admit he is an early riser and is up at 5.30 every morning...he was just annoyed he couldnt have his last hour before waking in peace!

She fell asleep this morning at 10am and has been sleeping over an hour and a half. Ive been told at sleep sessions that this will encourage her to sleep better tonight so hoping she does :). It was funny DH said last night as she was sleeping while we were watching tennis on telly, its borring now that she is sleeping :laughing:

[Mrs Potts]

Sounds like you are doing just fine. For this to work though you definitely need to stop feeding her every time she wakes, but you know that ;)

If your DH doesn't work over the weekend, if you can be consistent with the CC'ing overnight I'd say you will be well on your way to a peaceful existence :)

[forbetoel]

Sounds like you are doing just fine. For this to work though you definitely need to stop feeding her every time she wakes, but you know that ;)

If your DH doesn't work over the weekend, if you can be consistent with the CC'ing overnight I'd say you will be well on your way to a peaceful existence :)


:wave:I agree with this advice.:iagree:

[Lipsmacker01]

I will give the not feeding her a go through the night this weekend. I know that part is gonna be so hard! as shes so used to it and so am I!
I think she still needs a booby feed at around 5.30 in the morning though? just before breakfast at 8am?

So is she definately not hungry when she wakes during the night? Thats what Im not sure of because on the first night of our CC she drank like shed never drank before.

Will try drop a feed or two and see how I go.
Hoping shes not too heavy at her next weigh in on her 9 month check up next Tuesday from all the demand feeding!

Today she only had an hour and a half sleep (10-11.30am)..no arvo sleep...but walked her for 40 mins at 3pm so she was well rested.

Ill fill everyone in after the weekend :)

[KatiesMum]

Hi

My DD is only a couple of weeks younger than yours ....and often wakes up once during the night wanting a feed (which I usually give.....:laughing:) though she ALWAYS settles straight back down afterwards and goes back to sleep ..... and usually then gives me a sleep-in in the morning.....

If you are happy to feed her at 5.30ish that is great ....... but remember it will take a little while for her to re-settle during the night without the comfort feed.

Good luck - and big :hugs: for the next few nights.....

[Mrs Potts]

Oh I hope I didn't mislead you! I don't mean for you to drop her night feeds totally. Just don't feed her every 2 hours if she wakes that often.

The early morning feed is good, both of my kids liked a drink first thing. And even if she wakes around midnight or so you could feed her then. My DS still had a night bottle up to about 12 months, so some babies do still need their night feeds. As you go on, you will work out whether it's necessary or comfort. She may well be truly hungry at some point in the night, but you'll figure it out.

The big thing with the night feeds is that she knows it's not play time. I know this is going back to the basics, but when you feed her, keep it as dark as you can, don't talk to her and try to limit eye contact. Then as soon as she's had enough, starts fussing, etc then straight back to bed.

[Cheekychops]

5.30 feed is a good idea, from 7pmish that is a long time, so she should have a good feed about then. She may be a little bit hungry for a couple of nights, but she doesn't 'need' it iykwim... just like if you snacked every 2 hours instead of a proper meal, when you started to try to get into a 'meal' routine, your body would tell you were were hungry, but it is better for you to wait a bit longer and have a decent meal if that makes sense...

You are doing really well... keep up the hard work, and you will reap the rewards soon enough!

[Lipsmacker01]

I think weve had success! I hope Im not speaking too soon...but so far last night has been the best night of our CC.

DD1 woke up only once at 12.30 for a top up and didnt wake till her usual 7.20am! She wasnt even up for a 5am top up or anything! It was strange but fantastic! She did have a bit of a winge at that midnight feed but she didnt really carry on for longer than a couple of minutes.

So I fed her as soon as she got up at 7.20...gave her breckie at 8.20 since she had a little sleep in and finaly went down for her morning nap at 10am this morning.

Hoping this is the start of something really good and not just a phase :yes:

[Mrs Potts]

:yelclap: well done! Sounds like she's starting to "get it".

Keep us updated!

[forbetoel]

Awesome, sounds like you are on your way to success, keep it up.:)

[Bronnie]

Hi there,My DD is 5mths old, and until 3 nights ago would wake for booby 4-8 times a night!I bought "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" by Dr Richard Ferber. I used his "Progressive Waiting" technique, which I think is a variation of CC.Well, Night 1 took her 18mins to fall asleep by herself, with some crying. Same story the first time she woke, except it only took 8mins! She was pretty adamant when she woke at 12.30am and 5am, I thought she'd cried long enough so boobed her.Night 2, fell asleep with NO TEARS! She whinged a little the first time she woke, but was asleep again within 5mins. I didn't hear from her again until 4am, when she did need a feed, but then back to sleep until 7.20!I'm not worried about feeding her overnight when she really needs it, babies can get hunger association if they're regularly fed at certain times eg. throughout the night. She seems to be moving them forward all on her own anyway.Sorry about the long post, but I'm SO PROUD OF HER!Maybe tonight she won't need a feed at all. Good luck, it sounds like your definitely on-track. It's just the best feeling when it works, especially when you've tried so many different things...

[Lipsmacker01]

Hello Everyone

Just thought I would post an update on my 9 month old girls CC process!

Since my last post my girl has cut 2 top teeth as well! so that didnt help but made me happy as that is one thing I can say has made her better.


The last two days have been a huge success!
But leading up to these two days has been difficult. I had to wait till a sleep lady from my council to come over just to observe me and she gave me a few hints.

She said: work towards avoiding feeding to sleep. So as soon as my girl gets drowsy, eg after 10 min booby feeding I take her off and pop her into her cot with some soft toy and say sleep time and leave the room.

She said I need to listen to the cry, going back when necessary to comfort and reassure her and its best not to pick them up at this stage as it will confuse them.

You may need to repeat several times to allow your baby to teach themselves this sleep settle.

Getting back to the past two days heres how we went!

Yesterday morning at 9am, my 9 month old girls first sleep due as shed been up since 7 and she was getting grizzly so I fed her for about ten mins and did the usual settling thing. Took total 20 mins of grizzling and crying and she finally went to sleep.

Her second sleep yesterday arvo at 2pm took about 40 mins to get her to sleep but Im guessing that was because I started settling her at 1.30 and she wasnt quite ready so she made that loud and clear.

Last night she went to sleep at 7pm and didnt make a fuss. woke at 8pm for a feed but I didnt feed her and she slept till 11pm! (she normally wakes twice in this time frame.

She woke 2 more times though the night and I fed her. Ill slowly work on this part!

This morning she went down at 9.30 with only 2 mins of crying and 5 mins of talking. So far so good

Hoping she'll sleep well this arvo and tonight also.

During the day she has 1/1/2 hours in morning and 1 hour and 15 mins at arvo sleep.

Ill let u all know how I go soon when I get the chance :)