Which is worse and which will be harder?

[TJ]

Well Lochie has hit the 6 month mark so THAT time has come.....

The time to take away the dummy! I had originally said that I would NEVER give my child a dummy, but heck I did.
With that being said I had read a book about child sleeping and settling etc, and it stated that babies lose the instinct to need to suck at around 6 months, so thats the best/easiest time to take it away.

Lochie ONLY has the dummy at bed times or when he is getting sleepy, not during the day etc. He does however have a teddy that he also takes to bed with him. When he sees that teddy he knows I mean business and that its bed time.

Tonight was the first night I have put him down without it. There were a few tears etc, so I ended up getting him out of bed and just sitting with him in the rocking chair.
Not rocking or pating him or anything just having him sit with me.

So..... am I getting my self into something worse by having him sit on my lap with his teddy to go to bed?
Would it be easier/better to let him have his dummy, and continue to put him into bed like I had been, and literally 9/10 he would be asleep within 2-3 mins?
Tonight he sat on my lap for a good 10-12 mins before nodding off.

Should I preserve without the dummy and let him sit with me for the next few nights until he is ok without the dummy and then go back to what I was doing and put him down in his own bed while he is awake?

Sorry this is soooo blooody long.
Any advice/comments will be very much appreciated.

[rynosmum]

I tried to take the dummy from my DS unsuccessfully a few times. When he was 2.5, he used it for day sleeps at home only but he came up and gave it to me, never to use it again.

They're only little for a while - if it's a comfort and it isn't impacting on anything else, I'd let him keep it until he's ready to give it up.

[misskittyfantastico]

I guess it just depends on how important it is to you that he doesn't have the dummy.

DD is 27 months and still has her dummy for bed and when she's hurt or sad - I'm fine with her having it because it gives her comfort and doesn't appear to be messing up her development in any way....I guess only time will tell though!

It really is such a personal choice, and for me, I don't understand why it's so important to take away the things that give our bubbas comfort.

[QTB]

I was another one that said i would never give my child one!!

but when he started sucking his thumb, he got one fast!!

we also have tried getting rid of it a few times, unsucessfully. hes now 2y3m and still has it for sleep times at home (doesnt take it to daycare!) but to me, its just not worth the fight, id rather enjoy my sleep without him being awake all night screaming for a dummy... he only uses it for sleep and i doubt he will want it when hes at school, so he will give it up when hes ready :)

just do whats right for you and Lachlan!

[shanz]

we took DS dummy cold turkey at 12 months. He was very reliant on it(or was it I was) DH just put him to bed without it one night,he cried on and off for 45 mins. Just sooking, dh would just go in and try to settle him in the cot still or pick him up settle him and put him back down. the following day he didnt even miss it. for his morning sleep he didnt even cry and for his afternoon sleep he was over tired so he grizzled for a few minutes.
that was the last we saw or heard of it. My GP said to us that at his age they will have forgotten about it within a week and he had within 3 days, he found a dummy i had stashed in my bedside table and when he picked it up it rattled he laughed and played with it for a few minutes,didnt even try and put it in his mouth then threw it and found something else.

[our little treasures]

TJ You know I just got rid of ds's. I was always against using a dummy with any of them but all 3 of mine have had it. I have been the one scared of getting rid of it and dd1 and ds have found easy getting rid of it.. At an older age when they could communicate properly is when I find it best for them to lose it!

I have to agree they are only small for such a small time and if you have bubs going to sleep with it with no fuss I would just leave it that way:yes:

[SilverStarfish]

It really is such a personal choice, and for me, I don't understand why it's so important to take away the things that give our bubbas comfort.

Ditto :iagree: Sarah still has one at 22 months. It doesn't bother me that she has it - normally it's just for sleeping or sad times.

[bigglet]

I think if bubs is going to sleep well with it then let it be...

My DD will be 2 soon and has it only for sleeping now and it helps her get to sleep and usually spits it out during her sleep anyway.

At first I was worried that she was getting very dummy dependent not only for sleeps but during the day as well but recently I've found a trick that has worked well - I've told her that the dummy is only for sleeps and when I catch her with a dummy during the day I go "oh is it bedtime/sleeptime already?" and then proceed to take her to her cot - she quickly spits out the dummy quite fast then! :laughing:

[missie_mack]

Never planned to use a dummy myself either. But with a born thumb sucker I thought it was the lesser of the evils and also planned to get rid of it at 6 months. However 6 months came and we decided to keep it as it helped with the whole teething process. He now really only uses it for night sleeps and spits it out as soon as he falls asleep. Lately he has started leaving it on his bed too which is brilliant.

I guess it is up to you what you decide to do. Every child is different and has different needs etc. I probably plan to avoid the dummy again next time if I can but I think my DH is extra dummy friendly and makes it tough. :)

[forbetoel]

My kids all had a strong sucking reflex, and really loved their dummy up until about a month or two old when they found their thumb. It never bothered me, it made my babies happy and calm to be sucking away on their little thumb. I have no problems with dummies either, some babies would feed off you all day just for the comfort that sucking gives them. Do what you feel is right, but I don't think it will hurt to let your baby have a dummy longer, especially seeing as though he is still so young.

[my_lot]

I tried so hard to give ds 11months a dummy. I got every brand i could find and he still wouldnt suck it (that or a bottle)

he took it at 9 months.

you can see im not fussed over dummies, but if you want to take it then dont do something else that will be taken too (the rocking chair) just cold turkey and put up with the cries til shes over it...most will have those tears when they have their dummy taken no matter what the age..a lucky few get all smiles when santa, dummy fairy, garbage truck, postie ect. take a dummy!

good luck

[veve]

dammit .. why didn't anyone give Jack that memo???

six months hey .. mmm ..

Jack is 26 months .. and is toilet trained .. in a big boy bed .. and fairly independent- but he STILL has his dummy .. (sleeps and long car trips only ) :laughing: wish he had that memo ..

I thought about taking it away .. but seirously - when he hurts himself, or is over tired - NOTHING calms him faster ..

xx
Jen

[Eggflip]

I took mine off DS at 2. He only had it at night by then though.

DD is 5 1/2 months and she is a thumb sucker so she will be keeping her dummy until she is old enough to understand "take your thumb out". The weird thing is she has it all day for her naps and comfort but doesnt sleep with it at night.

[miakat]

I've just taken the dummy off DD for her afternoon nap and it has been a bit hard, the first day she didn't have her sleep and just cried for about 30 minutes (I was in comforting her though). The last few days she has had a grizzle about it but gone to sleep. She now only has it at night time. She says "Dummy gone" when I put her down for her arvo nap, so she knows she can't have it during the day. Not ready to take it off her at night yet though!

[MummaBear03]

I think cold turkey is the best way to go. You are right in taking it away now as it will only become harder as they get older. That's also why it's recommended to give your baby milk in a cup instead of a bottle from 6 months to start getting it off them. Good luck!

[Areca]

I have just taken DD2's dummy off her last week (today is day 7). DD1 never had one. I never wanted DD2 to have one but caved at 8 weeks when she needed to suck, but using me as a dummy (she's EBF) was causing more grief than it was worth (wind pain).
Well the week before 'operation no dummy' she started playing with it and would cry when she couldn't get it back in properly, would cry if she was asleep and it fell out so we'd have to go in and put it back in. It was becoming a nuisance so after fighting with the dummy one nap time I said to DH 'that's it, no dummy as of next week.' It has meant that we've had to take a little bit more time out of our day (as I am now the human dummy if she needs to suck) but I took it to gym creche this morning (that was one place I was going to allow it if she still needed it) and they tried to give it to her and she promptly spat it out. I'll give it a couple more weeks before I throw them out altogether JIC but I think we are a dummy free family.

I find them a nuisance, having to worry about sterilising, making sure you take them when out etc. I just can't be bothered and for the last two days she has been napping for 2 hours at a time, where as before she'd wake up after about 45 minutes cause she'd stir through the sleep cycle and not be able to find her dummy.

I'd rather get a ten minute cuddle to go to sleep than have my baby use a dummy as a comforter. Ten minutes isn't that long, even if I had to cuddle them for 10 minutes every nap and bed time until they were at the age where they would have given up the dummy anyway I'd rather that cause when they are older you will treaure that time you got with them!

[Little Gorilla]

I think cold turkey is pretty mean - its something they are attached too - its something that has been in their life since almost the begining.

My DS is 3 in 3 weeks and still has his for sleeping and sometimes when we are in the car.

He looooves him dummy dum. I don't know how I will get him to stop using it, but it doesn't bother me. He is very comforted by having dummy.

Having a dummy as they get bigger doesn't mean they are still "babyish"...my DS is fully toilet trained (at night too), talks fine - its just he loves his dummy and fair enough too - I gave it to him when he was about 24 hours old!!

[SassyMummy]

I don't know how it is trying to take it off a 6-month-old... but picturing my daughter at 6-months, I imagine it would be rather simple, if you can deal with a few tears, because they can't really say, "GIVE ME MY DUMMY!" like an older toddler can. They just cry.

We successfully got rid of the blasted dummy when DD was somewhere past 2. I think perhaps 28 months.

I just got them all, and chucked them out. That was it. I knew if I tried to limit it to bedtime, I'd cave in during whinging times, and it'd become more than just a bedtime thing. I needed them out of the house in order to not give in.

It worked a treat. She cried during her first nap for a while... then cried that night before bed... but that's it. It didn't last long at all, and was SO MUCH EASIER than predicted.

She still asked about it every now and then, and sooked when I said it was gone, but it was so simple.

With any luck, my next baby will not even get one in the first place.

[MoOaNdLiTtLePoPpEt]

i think it is really about why you want to take the dummy away?

My DS is 14 months and i don't have an issue with him having a dummy(if other people do, stiff SH!T)...that is his comfort thing...it is no different to having a teddy bear, snuggle blanket etc...

i wasn't one who said no to a dummy before having DS and i never said he would have one either, i was open to it...

i don't see anything wrong with a dummy, and DS will probably have his til he is 2 - 2.5 if he wants it, i will probably only use it for bed/nap time once he hits 2 and wean it off slowly...

these are just my thoughts...

its your choice and up to you what you do and your reasons for doing it...but it isn't like he is going to have a dummy at 18 and if he is only having it at bed and nap time then i don't see it as a big deal...they are only babies once like a PP said...but each to their own....

"you can always take a dummy away but you can never take a thumb away"....

goodluck. and do what you feel is right for you and your bub! ;)

[Cordelia]

I think cold turkey at 6 monhts is the easiest way to do it. If you're someone who's not into using a dummy (it's ok if you are but some people don't like them!!!) then now's the best time to do it. The later you leave it the harder it will get.

We went cold turkey at 8 months and to be honest, she went for like 2 days and tyen forgot about it!! I replaced a comfort item with a blanket and really made sure i had a good routine before bed, winding her down. And also took snacks and distractions out with me.

Stick with it because the tough part doesn't last very long and then you ahve a dummy free baby. Promise!!!!

[Chicco25]

Hey TJ

Is Lochie stirring during the night becasue he needs his dummy to resettle?

If he is I can understand why you would want to get rid of it. Its the main reason why I dont get a full nights sleep :rolleyes:. But if he is content and goes to sleep easily and your not having to go in to give it him during the night, I wouldnt bother. He's obviously happy, but its a personal choice.

If you do want to get rid of it, do it cold turkey and do controlled comforting with teddy till he goes down without it.

I think sitting in the rocking chair is just giving him another prop to get him to sleep. Better off straight in the cot.

Good luck with it all - parenting is definately one long learning curve.

[TJ]

Thanks for your replies ladies, very much appreciated.

Anita, No he isnt waking during the night for it. Its in and generally within 2-5 mins he is asleep and the dummy has been spat out.
Occassionally between the time he goes to bed and I go to bed, he stirs and I was putting the dummy back in, but I have let him grizzle that little bit longer now in the hope he will self settle. Or if he isnt, I just roll him back onto his side and give him his teddy to cuddle. So far soo good.

I think ill let him have the dummy for at least the next month or so, we are moving house this weekend, and then mid feb Lochie and I are going away for 4 nights, so it might be a bit of a disruption, so id rather him have it during that time.

Ill reassess when I get home and then decide if it stays or if it goes.

Thanks again for all your words of wisdom :D