Settling during the day

[sophies mum]

Hi everyone first time posters here
Just after some advise our dd sophie is 11 weeks old and does not like to sleep during the day. At night she is fine we put her in her cot and don't hear from her until a feed is due but during the day the only way we seem to be able to get her to sleep at all is to cuddle her a walk around the house patting her bum for about an hour. Even then not every time she will settle the oly way we can the settle her is to give her a feed. Any suggestions on how to settle her during the day.

Sophies mum

[Rell]

I had the same problem with my daughter and in the end we went to a day clinic to help with sleep problems which realy helped. Some things that worked for us were:
making sure the room was dark
look out for tired signs ( rubbing eyes & yawning) and put them straight to bed dont allow them to become over tired
put them to bed awake so they learn to put them self off too sleep
we also used a dummy and wrapped her till she was 8 mths

I know how had this can be so just remember there are places to go if the sleeping becomes a problem. Your child health nurse could tell you of somewhere near you.

Best of luck

[BJelly]

Hi Sophie's Mum,

Sophie sounds a lot like my daughter - she'll sleep overnight and in the morning but she was impossible to get to sleep between lunch and midnight 10 - 30 mins at the very most at a time. I used to run myself ragged trying to calm her. 12 hours of settling a baby day after day takes it's toll on Mum and baby.

A couple of things helped us.

A friend lent us a triangle pillow, that we bolstered with a couple of cushions so she was propped up a little, and also had the sensation of being cuddled. We'd also give her a dummy from time to time. After putting her in this, she seemed to learn to relax into sleep, which she couldn't do lying flat on her back in her basinet.

The other thing I learnt to do, was to let her have a little cry if she hadn't settled after a couple of hours. I figured she was crying when I was there anyway, so I'd give myself a 5 minute break to grab something to eat, do a chore, or just rest my back. Then I'd go back in and calm her, make sure she wasn't hungry/wet/etc. I'd comfort her for another 15-30 mins and then go out again for no more than 5 mins - I'd set a timer on the oven.

Doing this seemed to help her learn how to calm herself. I think letting her cry for a short period also seems to allow her to relax enough to go to sleep - kind of like we adults feel better after a cry. Also I figured that when we have other kids, I wouldn't be able to be there ALL the time like I was able to do with her, so it wouldn't hurt.

Mind you, I couldn't have done this before she was 6 weeks, I needed to try the "stay with her all the time" technique until I felt it absolutley wasn't working. Some friends who had 2 girls had tried to get me to leave her cry for 15 minutes when she was 3 weeks old, and I hated it - and resented them - for getting me to try it - it was far to long to leave her alone at such a young age. Sometimes you feel like you are obviously doing something wrong, and try what others tell you, but I learnt from that, never do something that feels wrong.

Best of luck

[jamb]

My DS also sounds similar, he would sleep throught the night, self settling in cot, but during the day would catnap for a maximum of 20 minutes after a monumental effort. Like BJELLY, I did the stay with him all the time but I was getting tired, he was getting more tired and I thought I'd try something different.

I would pop him in his cot after his lunchtime feed and give him the dummy. I picked one toy and would leave him in his darkened room. I would then log on to bubhub and time about 5 minutes (I found this entertained me and help distract me). I could only do this after the one feed as it was to much and I would've felt mean doing it after everyone.

I would go back in and reassure him (pop dummy in if it was out) and keep repeating. I thought it would be a quick process but at first it went on for 45 minutes to an hour, now most days he settles and falls asleep within 10-15 minutes usually without tears.

If I feel he is really getting worked up (or I am getting distressed) I pick him up and we do something different- cuddle and let him fall asleep on me. I recently started mothers group and it seems alot of bubs dont sleep during the day, so you are not alone. Do what feels right and good for you, best of luck.