what can we do?she is making it very difficult.

[musicalmummy]

well...court orders state we have DP's kids half holidays each.a sit turns out we have had them nealry 3/4 already as we have had them the weekend before chiristmas, the mum had them chrissy eve, then we have had them since christmas day. she is meant to pick them up today but texted last night and said what time she'd come and that we ar to have them on the long weekend. as far as i'm concerned that is still school holidays isn't it?
in the october holidays she specifically rubbed into our faces that the weekend visitation does not count when it is school hols.
we told her no our next weekend is 1st, 2nd, 3rd feb(which happens to be dd's 1st birthday and i want her half siblings to be here for that). she wrote back well the 25th is your weekend if i am having them this coming weekend(derr it's still school holidays). she also told us she is having visitors so we have to have the children. you tell me...when did having visitors to your choice mean you kick your kids out??she is now trying to tell us that if we dont' have them on 25th then she won't pick them up today and we are keeping kids til sunday.
dp texted he rback and said sorry, weekends arent' included in holidays, i will drop them home this afternoon and we have them 1st, 2nd 3rd feb.
she hasn't replied. but if we end up keeping them(which isn't a prob it's mroe that she is being so difficult)we have then had them 28 days of hols and her only 8 days...hwo is that half holidays.
this is what a nice person she is...not once did she make contact with us or her own children during the time we have had them. if it were me i'd be wanting to know how my kids were, and i'd be dying to see them, not wanting to palm them off all the time.

[our little treasures]

I feel for the children involved.:hugs: I really hope that they are not witnessing this or old enough to understand what is going on. My brother has had this issue a few times but he gets really excited that he gets to have his son extra days. Maybe you should address it with the mum and if your really finding it such a problem then go and get some legal advice!:yes:

[missjane2005]

My DD went away with her dad for 3weeks she was meant to come back the 10th but they said no no its the 11th which made it 22 days and i complained about that!

[InSaneOne]

its funny how ex's do that. we always seem to end up having the kids more than what the consent orders say and unless if affects her social life or her money from centrelink or child support she usually doesn't kick up a stink. she never calls them either.

my advice is to just shower the kids with love and let them do what they want to. if they prefer to spend most of the holidays with you then good but when they want to go home play that card to the mother. just tell her that her children are missing her and want to see her.

[tally]

It it were me, I'd be keeping them till Sunday if she doesnt pick them up, she will be in breach of the order not your DP.. Then having them again on the weekend of your DD's birthday... as that is again in accordance with the court order..

Make sure everything is documented etc.. so that if she complains about it you can show whats been going on.

[WorkingClassMum]

also contact Centrelink so that your share of FTB A&B is increased

When her money goes down then she might wake up a little - as she appears to have no care for the kids:mad:

[jen023]

Be happy that you have the opportunity to see them
We had my DSS the whole holidays, and still paid the child support,
If we tell CS how much we have him, we only get him half the holidays.
Sometimes it's just not worth it. It's more important to have him...

[mythreelittlemonkeys]

Be happy that you have the opportunity to see them
We had my DSS the whole holidays, and still paid the child support,
If we tell CS how much we have him, we only get him half the holidays.
Sometimes it's just not worth it. It's more important to have him...

so true...my DH and I are realising that the other party probably will never change, so we are trying hard to rise above all of it...we would rather pay the full amount, get to have them for the time they want to be with us, and get on with it...we too only claim what we know she wont kick up about ie: doesnt affect her payments (as of yet) so that we get to see the children as much as possible...
musicalmummy - my stepchildren had no call from their mother over christmas or new year - they had to call her...the only time she rang was to ask DH for CS...early...even though she didnt have the children...

[pegasus]

so true...my DH and I are realising that the other party probably will never change, so we are trying hard to rise above all of it...we would rather pay the full amount, get to have them for the time they want to be with us, and get on with it...we too only claim what we know she wont kick up about ie: doesnt affect her payments (as of yet) so that we get to see the children as much as possible...
musicalmummy - my stepchildren had no call from their mother over christmas or new year - they had to call her...the only time she rang was to ask DH for CS...early...even though she didnt have the children...

This sounds like many holidays past for us. (Funny how a few of our situations mirror MTR:wave:)

It's a tricky situation and the best thing for the children is to keep it away from them. The sad thing is the mother involves them. Last time she wanted the CS early - she got DSD to call me and ask if I was paying her the money early, when I'd already told the mother no (who can afford a double payment before Christmas, but who wants to tell the child - we're not paying as we need to have a nice Christmas for your half siblings too....)

[maggiemoo]

Gosh I wish we had your problem. Ours is opposite where ex is trying to keep the kids from us. Anyway...
I agree with Tally. Start keeping a diary and any emails or SMSs she sends demanding the kids be with you in her time as this will come in handy if access or custody ever come go to court. You might want to read up on the proposed changes to CSA payments starting July this year - they seem a lot fairer but everyones circumstance is different. you can download it here
http://www.facsia.gov.au/internet/facsinternet.nsf/via/childcare/$file/best_interests_children_summary.pdf

In the meantime, enjoy your time with the kids. It sounds as though they have a much stabler loving home with you.