Breast Feeding in Public

[SassyMummy]

Some of you may have seen the Dr Phil episode on today (Monday March 13), where different topics were argued over. One of them was breastfeeding in public.

I know there will be many of you out there who are all for it, but I also know that there are probably plenty of you who are all for breastfeeding...but wish it was done a bit more discretely...and was just wondering everyone's views on the topic.

I'm 100% for breastfeeding in public. Before I had my daughter, I didn't want to do it, but when I had her, I understood why many women do it in the park, at a restaurant or wherever else they please. It made sense to me.

I think it's a bit awful for a nursing mother to be "shunned" to the parents room in order to feed her child...especially when she is out with other people. Is she expected to leave her friends/family for half an hour or whatever? What if she is in the middle of dinner? Some might argue that she shouldn't be eating out during a time when the baby might want a feed - but I argue that some babies aren't predictable like that (even though my daughter is). Are nursing mothers expected to "hide out" in places simply so other people can be "more comfortable".

Some of the things the woman on DR PHIL arguing AGAINST breast feeding in public said, were:

"I don't find it very flattering/appealing" - I don't understand why this is even an issue. I don't find mullet haircuts flattering or appealing, but should we round up all bogans and make them wear hats whilst out in public so we don't have to be subjected to their hairstyles? It's just ridiculous IMO. Also - a mother isn't just hanging out her breast and walking around...she's taking it out for a reason.

"I don't like it all up in my face...I don't like to see it" - My simple response would be "THEN DON'T LOOK!" Most mothers are discrete about their breastfeeding...and a babies head covers most of it anyway. Some revealing tops show much more breast than a mother does whilst breastfeeding her child. You aren't required to stare at a breastfeeding mother...just simply look away. You can look away from anything you don't find pleasant...nobody can MAKE you look at it...

"It's similar to a butt-crack hanging out, or a man urinating in public" - Only, it's feeding a child. If a man is in a very public place, there's bound to be a public toilet around for him to pee in. If he's out bush...peeing in the open shouldn't be that bad because it's likely nobody is around to see it anyway. A man can also hold in his pee...babies will cry just as soon as they want to be fed..they don't understand the "just a minute while I find a parent room" line. I also think that if a mother travelled around a shopping centre in search of a parents room to feed her baby in whilst the baby is screaming due to hunger, many people would give her just as many "tut tut" looks are they would if she were breastfeeding. At least if she's breastfeeding, her child is happier quicker.

"Just go do it in the bathroom" - The woman on Dr Phil who was PRO breast feeding in public said it best: "You wouldn't want to eat your sandwich whilst sitting on a toilet." I also think it's quite difficult to manage to hold a baby whilst sitting on a toilet seat...as well as quite unsanitary. And of course there's the line-ups in the toilets! You'd be waiting FOREVER with your screaming bub...getting evil stares from all around. And how angry would the other toilet-goers be if they knew you were using the toilet as a SEAT and not for what it was designed for?

Another reason I think breastfeeding in public is perfectly fine is that bottle-feeding mothers can bottle-feed anywhere they like without getting death-stared. (I bottle feed my daughter btw).

ALSO - parents rooms in smaller shopping centres or similar smaller public areas, often only have ONE seat and a change table. There's not enough room in them for TWO mothers and TWO prams and TWO screaming babies...not to mention any other children the mother might have. Sometimes women just HAVE to feed their child elsewhere.

SO...what are your opinions on this...and please, don't attack anyone personally...

[reAllytee]

Im not really worried about it & cant see all the fuss although admittedly i can understand their point as we arent exactly taught to accept it nowadays are we (?).
I bottlefeed & do get looks im just waiting for the day that someone actually dares say anything about it LOL. So i can understand why bf women get upset when all they are doing is feeding their baby.
I never realised that was such a bad thing nowadays whichever way we feed our bubbas apparently starving them would fare better LOL :rolleyes:

[pegasus]

After feeding my son for 16months, I get that there is a discreet way to do it.

If there was another option, I didn't feed him in public. Usually that was as much for him as it was for me - he would get very distracted and not feed well. I ended up (if I had to feed him in public) using a wrap or something like that to cover him and me up.

I've seen women walking through shopping centres and feeding at the same time - to me that is too far - if you wouldn't give a bottle to your child at that time, why should you give a breast?

My reasons for not feeding in public (unless I had to as stated before) were for my baby (who was very distractible), for other people (those who would feel uncomfortable) and for me (this was a special time for me and bub and I didn't want to do the feeding just when convenient - it was planned around when he needed it).

I did use parent's rooms, or would make sure I fed bub before going out and when we had visitors (or were at other's houses) I would go into another room. This was never because I felt ostracised, but my personal choice and how I felt comfortable feeding my son.

[Ana Gram]

I never breast fed in public when I was breast feeding. I wasn't comfortable with anyone even in the room with me and I hated it when they invited themselves to watch, I should have just sold tickets. I, personally, am not comfortable in the immediate company of a woman breastfeeding. However I am fine with women breastfeeding in public. Much better than a screaming child!

[mum24]

The argument the anti-bf woman made was that it was " unattractive " to her. Great, so you're either NOT gay or you don't have children. Tha anti-bf woman also complained that bf women take their tops off to bf... um... hello... no we don't!!! We do discreetly lift up our tops the side that baby will feed from and then all that is seen is the fleshy part of the breast. The same fleshy part that is exposed when a woman wears a bikini top. S'pose she finds bikini tops unattractive too!!! The real underlying phobia in all this is the exposure of... THE NIPPLE... the very part that is hidden by baby.

Yes the breast is mainly seen as a sexual/sensual object but let's not forget the Primal reason for the breast and lets not " hide " away the natural function either. Education is the freedom not banishment to the sewer/tiolet.

[JnA]

I started out wearing a shawl type thing that covered me and bubs very well. Then it started to get hot and she would sweat under the shawl, so I have discarded the shawl. Now I try to go to parents rooms for a feed or, if I am going to be in a cafe' I will always choose a table that is in the back so if I have to feed, not many people can see it. At friends places I just go ahead and feed though.. even in mixed company.. I usually just say, "Excuse me I have to feed my bubs, I hope no-one minds". That gives anyone the opportunity to either say something, leave the room or avert thier eyes... so far it's worked well.


I've seen women walking through shopping centres and feeding at the same time -

I'm trying, but I can't see how that would work very well.. maybe I just have no imagination.. or a large baby, but I couldn't walk and feed properly at the same time.

[pegasus]

Have to admit Tash - I watched the (only a couple of ladies I've witnessed do this) in amazement. Whenever I fed my bub, I was always so conscious of how much time he spent on each side and have to admit, I get distracted as much as him. But...it is possible, I swear I wasn't lying when I said I've seen it.:p

[Baby Girl]

I once fed DD2 while doing the grocery shopping - very funny and quite a juggling act!! I had to be in 3 places at once so didn't have time to sit and feed so we did it on the run....

Kids gotta eat - mum's got the goods - bugger everyone - feed that baby!!

Breasts were originally put there for feeding our offspring (most females animals have them), it is only society that has turned them into a sex toy and made it "unacceptable" for them to be shown in public being used for their original purpose - how pornographic :rolleyes:

Yet very little offence is taken to titty mags being displayed out front of shops.....makes no sense to me!!

[JnA]

:o I wasn't suggesting that you were.. I believe you.. I just can't imagine or do it myself.. I'm just not that talented. :o

Thinking about it, it would make things easier... If I could co-ordinate holding with one hand and sweeping with the other.. I could get much more done around here :D

[pegasus]

It's okay Tash - I wasn't thinking you were having a go at me. Think I have to learn to curb my sarcastic wit a bit sometimes (I think it's wit - to others it's probably just annoying).:rolleyes:

Have to admit, by the end of the time that I was feeding my son, we both able to do a lot more other things at the same time, but walking through a shop at the same time wasn't one of them.

I'll be interested to see if my ease of feeding carries over for number 2 - however, I never count my chickens, so I'm expecting to start slowly again. My mum told me I was her hardest to feed (and I was her third one!).

[O&GMUM]

I always fell uncomfortable breastfeeding in public but regardless, there are times when it is unavoidable. I recently went into a Westfield and used one of those feeding rooms for the first time (I dont get out much!) and was really suprised to see cubicles with curtains, like change rooms. I really expected lounges everywhere. Surely mums dont feel embarrasssed in front of other BF mums??
Ive NEVER been brave enough to BF both together in public though. Imagine the crowd Id gather!!

[JodieC]

"I don't find it very flattering/appealing" - I don't understand why this is even an issue. I don't find mullet haircuts flattering or appealing, but should we round up all bogans and make them wear hats whilst out in public so we don't have to be subjected to their hairstyles? It's just ridiculous IMO. Also - a mother isn't just hanging out her breast and walking around...she's taking it out for a reason.

lol i think thats a fabulous suggestion, I hate mullets too. Having said that i used to have one in the 80's :o




"Just go do it in the bathroom" - The woman on Dr Phil who was PRO breast feeding in public said it best: "You wouldn't want to eat your sandwich whilst sitting on a toilet." I also think it's quite difficult to manage to hold a baby whilst sitting on a toilet seat...as well as quite unsanitary. And of course there's the line-ups in the toilets! You'd be waiting FOREVER with your screaming bub...getting evil stares from all around. And how angry would the other toilet-goers be if they knew you were using the toilet as a SEAT and not for what it was designed for?

I watched this Dr Phil aswell, actually I watch every Dr Phil, and if im out walking at the time I make sure i record it. Any way back to the subject, when the pro BF lady mentioned eating a sandwich in the toilet, the anti ladies response was "im not expecting you to rub your breasts all over the toilet seat" well no-one told her to rub her sandwich all over the toilet seat, how thick is she.

I think feeding in a toilet is disgusting, our local shopping centre has a nice mothers room, now, but when my first 2 were born it was disgusting and always stunk, so I refused to feed my kids in there, and once had an old man yell at me to go feed my baby in the toilet, so I yelled back at him "GO EAT YOUR LUNCH IN THE TOILET"

I breastfeed in public, but most of the time I use a muslin wrap to 'cover up' as I know it does make others uncomfortable, but if im in a park I usually dont use it. We were at the canberra show recently and I breastfed my bub without covering up, not that I was exposing my breast, my shirt covered that

[nemosmum]

When I first started Bfing DS I would stop and do it anywhere, he was a big hungry newborn who wanted feeding every 2 hours (sometimes every hour lol)
And in the begining I got very distressed when DS would need a feed as he was the type to scream like he was dying or something before he got a feed (very stressful) so i would just whip out the boob and feed him no matter what!

After a while I got the hang of doing the discreet bfing and that was fine, I would use parent room if they had them but if not I didnt mind bfing in public.

That said the other day a mother sat down infront of me and whipped out her breast then proceeded to wake her sleeping bub change the bubs nappy, have a sip of her soft drink and then rummage around in her handbag before finally feeding her bub.
This to me is distasteful, as she really didnt need to whip it out 10 mins before feeding lol:eek: :laughing: :D hahahahah I mean seriously she just left it there for everyone to see!!!

Im all for bfing in public but there are degrees of discretion iykwim

[drewid]

I am totally for every woman/child's right to breastfeed in public. While most of us would be discreet, I also believe in everyone ELSE'S ability to turn away if they don't like what they see. The world is big enough for those offended to find another square metre of space to look at instead :)

The lady on Dr Phil really irritated me when she just kept saying 'it isn't attractive'. Its not MEANT to be attractive! :banghead:

The American attitude to breastfeeding really stinks IMO.

[tickle]

I am totally for every woman/child's right to breastfeed in public. While most of us would be discreet, I also believe in everyone ELSE'S ability to turn away if they don't like what they see. The world is big enough for those offended to find another square metre of space to look at instead :)

Absolutely what she said.:thumbsup: I'm so lazy this morning...:o

[JodieC]

The American attitude to breastfeeding really stinks IMO.

Im with you there. I used to chat on an american forum but their whole attitude towards everything got me cranky, so i had to stop

[JodieC]

The lady on Dr Phil really irritated me when she just kept saying 'it isn't attractive'. Its not MEANT to be attractive! :banghead:



Actually I find a breastfeeding to be one of the most beautiful things in the world

[drewid]

Actually I find a breastfeeding to be one of the most beautiful things in the world

So do I!! :D

My point was that its function in life is not to be "attractive" - its function is to "nourish" a child. So for someone to be offended on the grounds that they personally do not find it attractive is not logical to me. It is not MEANT to be attractive to a wider audience...its feeding time, not a catwalk show!

[WeThree]

I fed my children wherever and whenever they needed it, of course I was discreet about it, but i very rarely used a covering or anything, i usually wore baggy shirts so it was easy to not have my whole boob exposed! besided you dont need to get your whole boob out anyway to feed them.
In our local mall the parents room usually has a line up and it always stinks due to the nappy bins, so i would usually go to a lovevly outdoor cafe that had a playground next to it for my toddler, and feed dd there.
What I find offensive is those womans comments on the Dr Phil show, how can they possibly compare bf to some dirty mans bum crack or something? now that sight is offensive!!
It also saddens me to hear this coming from other woman, I thought only old/middle age men were still at risk from these outdated views, I was lucky I never recieved a single negative comment from anyone, only smiles and occasionally words of encouragment, my mum is a big bf advocate from way back as well, so it was never an issue with my father or anyone else in our family:thumbsup:

[bronny-jane]

i dont breast feed my kids, and i could care less if someone decided to breast feed right in front of me. you dont have to look and if you do there's usually a babys head there.

[MariaO]

I think the cubicles with curtains is as much to cater for easily distracted babies as our privacy. I was feeding Aoife in a kids playground recently and she swung off the breast and started waving to all and sundry! I prefer parents rooms when it is practical to use one.

I did not see that Dr Phil show but it sounds as though the anti-bf in public women were extremely ignorant.

[JodieC]

I fed my children wherever and whenever they needed it, of course I was discreet about it, but i very rarely used a covering or anything, i usually wore baggy shirts so it was easy to not have my whole boob exposed!

Thats the only reason i do use a muslin wrap. I usually wear tops that i can pull down so i dont want people seeing my whole boob. Also if i do pull my top up i am rather self conscience of my baby belly so the wrap covers this up aswell.

Ive just become obsessed with buying breastfeeding clothing aswell, so when im wearing those i dont feel the need to cover up either :)

[Pixie]

Well having not had the experience of BF I can only say what I plan to do!

I plan to BF but I also plan to drape a muslin wrap over my shoulder or wear something that means I am not exposing myself. This is purely personal I don't want to show of my boobs, I don't want people looking etc it's a private time between myself and my baby. If she needs feeding I wil do it wherever I am! I have to say I get uncomfortable when I see women BF and you can see the breast, but that's only becuase I know I wouldn't be comfortable doing it, that's my hang up not the woman who is BF her child quite happily lol If your child needs feeding how can you deny it?! I can look some where else I don't have to stare :D

I don't like the idea of sitting in a "feeding room" I think we should be able to feed our babies wherever we like!

anyway I am not sure what I am worried about my boobs are so small people will have trouble seeing them :D

[ThomasMum]

anyway I am not sure what I am worried about my boobs are so small people will have trouble seeing them :D

Umm Nataliya, just wait until Eliza is born your boobies size will go from small to gargantuan! LOL you'll see :laughing:

[Rahmi'sMum]

I breastfeed, but I still feel uncomfortable seeing other women breastfeeding when its not discreet.... so, I DON'T LOOK. I personally wouldn't feed in public - if I'm out and need somewhere to feed I go to the car if all else fails. Turn on th A/C, get the music going...

However, just because I wouldn't do it, doesn't mean I don't think others should. Although, some women go a tad too far in my opinion... for example.. myself and my little brother (who is 19) are travel consultants.. my brother was helping a couple with their travel arrangements when the woman pulls her top up, whips out the boob (we all got an eyefull) and puts her bub on... now, fair enough that he needs to be fed, but I think most women would understand that for a young guy that could be embarrassing. My little bro though shocked continued to act professionally of course, but he was actually quite grossed out and didn't know where to look.

I think women should feed wherever they want - but it doesn't hurt to be aware of other people and how it makes the feel. On the whole I think most women are discreet anyway, afterall - we don't feed to be exhibitionists, we do it to nourish our babies!

[the_queen]

I never breastfed Vallerie in public - but that's because every feed was "challenging" (to put it nicely!). We had to use the "football hold", she had to be propped up on various pillows, it would sometimes take up to 20 minutes to get a good seal, and once she was on, I had to freeze my whole body to ensure she stayed on. And sometimes the feed would take an hour.

This time around, all being good, I am looking forward to breastfeeding in public!! The amount of flesh being flashed is so minimal - compared to the young girls I see in the shopping centres, with their belly tops and low-cut necklines and low-riding jeans!!

If it was MEN who had to breastfeed the babies, it would be an OLYMPIC SPORT :p

[shed]

I think a woman breastfeeding her baby is beautiful but I try not to stare because I don't want her to think I am staring out of disapproval and I don't want to embarrass her either.

I don't know how I will go, I'm quite prudey so I can't say if that will be stronger than a hungry baby. Chances are the bubby's hunger will win over any slight risk of boob flashing and anyone who doesn't like it can go jump in the lake.

I actually don't know that many people who disapprove though.

[ThomasMum]

I never breastfed Thomas in public either, its my boobs only certain people can have peek of those (DH & Thomas) :laughing:

Having said that I don't have anything againts people who breastfeed their bub in public, good on them! When I see mums brestfeed their bub, I ussualy smile or nod to them, so that they know that I support them 100% :D

[Elfin]

I think it is great to see women breastfeeding in public, the more it is out there, the more it will become socially acceptable. For me I was very discrete, like some have already said, the parents room can really be disgusting and stink of poo. Who wants to sit in that environment for half an hour - gross!

Great comment JodieC to that old man boy you put him in his place. There is no intelligent comeback he could of made:laughing:

[aprilbaby]

I watched this Dr Phil episode and the woman complaining about it was an absolute moron. She had no valid argument except that she found it un-attractive and, as you have all pointed out, I know I see alot of things that I find attractive but I just look the other way! (The breastfeeding Mum made a comment that she found the other womans hair unattractive but she had the right to wear it like that) :laughing:

I find American's so messed up about things like this. They have no problem with seeing Paris Hilton or Jessica Simpson parading around in next to nothing on every magazine cover and TV show, or 16 year old girls flashing their boobs to any one with a video camera at Mardi Gras and Spring Break, but when it's a woman doing what comes naturally by feeding her child they find it disgusting and offensive. It's serioused screwed up.

Personally, my first baby is due in a few weeks and I will be feeding anytime and anywhere it's hungry, and if people have a problem with that they don't have to watch. I have bought some Glamourmum tops, which are like singlet tops with an inbuilt nursing bra, so it allows you to undo the strap and keep the rest of your boobs and tummy covered, so I can't see how anyone will see anything anyway. If people still have an issue I welcome them to come and tell me so I can give them a piece of my mind!!
:ecomcity:

[zenifa]

I agree, great comeback JodieC!! I'm really glad you stood up to him!! Go Girl!:yelclap:

I breastfeed my DD and although I'm not entirely comfortable doing it in public, nevertheless I have many times. Like most other mums I try to be discreet as possible and I only use parent rooms if they are available, aren't filthy/stinky and when DD is grizzly/unsettled etc and needs to be feed in a quiet place with no distractions!! I have breastfeed once in a disabled toilet of a pub, only because DD was screaming blue murder and couldn't be pacified any other way (we would of left but it was a family b'day meal that we were right in the middle of). I've also done it in my car too. When I'm in a cafe, I usually try to sit at the back, or in a place where I won't draw attention to myself. So far (touch wood:fingerscrossed: ), I haven't had any -ve comments or filthy looks. I agree the primary function of breasts is to nourish babies and besides its not a show, its a child feeding!! I did see the Dr Phil episode and thought that woman was way out of line.

[busylizzy]

I really just cannot see the issue with breastfeeding in public :banghead: It is the most natural thing in the world. Like many of you have already said, if people don't like to see it they can just look away. I personally just think that the lady on Dr Phil has some deep psychological issues or is just a major prude! Frankly, I didn't find her that attractive either so maybe she should go hide in the toilet!!!
Liz.

[bec79]

I am pro b/f in public, although like others, I will use a mothers room if available. I haven't had any comments from "on-lookers", but when my sister (also breastfeeding) has. She simply says It is my childs right to eat when he is hungry. Which pretty much sums it up! If there no facilities to accomidate b/f mums, what are we expected to do? Let our bubs starve whilst crying down the establishment?

I recenty heard about a case in the USA where one resturant patron was sueing another for breastfeeding in public. Apparently she found it offensive and asked the b/f mother to either stop or go elsewhere to fed her child. The b/f mother told her to stick it up her behind, she would fed her child wherever she pleased...and it stemed form there.:eek:
Of course the case was thrown out of court...the judge was pro b/f!!:smiliedance:

[SassyMummy]

I only breastfed a few times "in the open" in public...otherwise I used the parents room. Around lunch time, DD was normally hungry...but so was I...and given that she'd feed for about a half hour or more, I didn't want to wait and starve. So I'd order my food, or send someone with me to order it for me, then sit at a table in the foodcourt and feed her whilst tucking into my own meal. It was good because I had company...I could rest her heavy body on the table, and eat as well.

I didn't cover up, but I discretely pulled my breast out before popping it into her mouth...then her head just covered up my breast anyway. Sometimes I'd use a wrap...but mostly to disguise my mummy tummy, which I don't want anyone to see.

As for walking around whilst feeding, I don't have a problem with women doing that. Sometimes it'll take a great deal of time to get out of a shop, or into an area with a seat (like if you're going for a walk to the shops for example)...so you've just gotta feed and walk at the same time. I never did it (bub is a fatty and much too heavy), but when she started on the bottle, I'd make it up whilst walking and give it to her on the way to the parents room/seat. She was usually in her carrier though...but it worked well to get her to shut up and not distract others.

You can look away from a breastfeeding mother, but it's hard to NOT hear a screaming baby. I wonder which the general public would prefer?

[Funkychicken]

The fact that there is even an issue for or against is wrong.
When we are visiting a farm and see a small calf drinking from it's mum or a newborn foal looking for it's mum's udder or even a litter of puppies sleepily feeding away as the contented mother sleeps, almost with a smile, we all make comments such as "Isn't that gorgeous" or "How lovely" or What a beautiful sight". Everyone loves a baby animal when it is feeding and most people clamour to see it happening. What is wrong with our species that we feel there is something wrong with feeding our babies with the very things that nature intended them for?:confused:

[Kaycee]

I breastfed anywhere and everywhere. I figured that it others got embarrassed by it, the reason is that it's because they are not used to seeing it as a normal part of daily life. The more Mums who breastfeed in public places the more normal it becomes, thus doing future b/f-ing Mums a favour!

The only time I used mothers rooms was when they were going through that distractable stage.

[JATS]

I prefer to breastfeed in private, like if we have guests at our place or I need to feed Tom when we're visiting someone else, I usually feed in a bedroom. However if we're out somewhere and he needs a feed I have no problem doing it but like to have a blanket for privacy, and do it as discretly as possible.

If anyone knows bon appetite in Wollongong, I had a 50th wedding anniversary in there a few weeks ago and had to feed Tom in the restauraunt! luckily the area we were was at the edge of the room, I hid behind one of the potted plants :laughing: A few people realised what I was doing, noone seemed unhappy about it, one of the waitresses brought me over a jug of water and a glass!!!:thumbsup:

[SammyD]

The fact that there is even an issue for or against is wrong.
When we are visiting a farm and see a small calf drinking from it's mum or a newborn foal looking for it's mum's udder or even a litter of puppies sleepily feeding away as the contented mother sleeps, almost with a smile, we all make comments such as "Isn't that gorgeous" or "How lovely" or What a beautiful sight". Everyone loves a baby animal when it is feeding and most people clamour to see it happening. What is wrong with our species that we feel there is something wrong with feeding our babies with the very things that nature intended them for?:confused:

Sal I am with you 100% on this one! :thumbsup:

A beautiful, natural process that has been 'sexified' by men's magazines! I think if the mum feels comfortable feeding in public then why should she be locked away?

[SassyDiva]

I am pro b/feeding in public - however I prefer a good clean mothers room any day where I can kick back relax - enjoy my bub and chat with other mothers.

It took me a few moths to feel comfortable with myself and the bf process B4 I could discretly feed in a cafe as I felt I had to be feeling confident and ready to defend myself from any rude remarks - lucky for me haven't had a bad experence - I plan on being as discret as possible and always feeding bubs when and where he needs it

[BJelly]

I am pro BF in public - I think mums who do that are great. I haven't done it alot because my baby is very easily distracted.

For people who say women should BF in the toilet, I've done this where that was the only private place in a restaurant, the trouble with doing this is that often there is only one toilet for women and BFing can take 20 mins - hour (especially with younger babies)- that's a long time for people to wait, but what can you do if that's the only place that's private? It makes so much sense for all modern buildings to have a quiet private spot for BFing mums - better for Mum, bub and other patrons.

[stilldreaming]

I think that we should be able to bf where ever we like! Having said that though I personally would always go to a quiet corner or mothers room to feed Coop as he was very easily distracted....I learnt that the hard way on various occassions:laughing:
I recently saw a mum bf whilst walking around the supermarket as well, she had bubs in a sling, one hand on his head and the other was putting groceries in the trolley. I told her she was very multi talented, she was happy to get a positive comment I think. I'm far too unco to ever try that!

[KiLLaKaZ]

A few people realised what I was doing, noone seemed unhappy about it, one of the waitresses brought me over a jug of water and a glass!!!:thumbsup:

that was sooo nice & thoughtful of her! :D it's good to hear a positive after all the negatives in this thread!


I was feeding Logan in the parents room and my Fiances friend rang him and when he told him we were in the parents room his friend said "tits galore" ... Come on mate, they're not exactly attractive boobs, they're full of milk! Lol.

i think one of the major issues ppl have with breastfeeding is that they're trained by society to think of breasts in a sexual way... so when they're used for a non-sexual purpose, they are disgusted! :mad:

personally i'm for breastfeeding in public - i want it to become the norm!! however, i've also got a poor self esteem/ body image issues, so i'd probably use a wrap to cover myself & bubs! :o

also, about walking & feeding (as mentioned above) i heard it's relatively easy to do when wearing a sling. i plan on wearing a sling, but i'm not sure if i'd try walking & feeding until i've had bubs. i personally see no problem with it if you can manage it, tho.

[Bronte Pot-Pot]

I know I am a little late posting a reply in this thread as it seems the last was done in January but it is something I felt strongly enough about to put in my two cents worth :-)

I don't know if any of you remember the Kate Langbrook incident on the Panel or the poli incident where there was a lot of public debate over breastfeeding but as I am pro bf in public or anywhere or anytime the baby needs it I was obviously one of those people who supported their decision to feed whenever their baby needed it wherever they were.

When I first started breastfeeding I had very damaged breasts and didn't go out much because of that plus a mild case of pnd as well but I often wondered around the house with my boobs hanging out because it was too painful to have anything over them. This cured me of any phobia of having them out in public as I often got caught out by family members and close friends who popped over :-)

I did start out putting a muslin over bub and me for the sake of others but in the end it was too much hassle and I thought if they don't like it they can look somewhere else my baby is hungry I am going to feed her. I also found a top that I bought was very helpful in keeping it discreet I bought it at one of the Parenting expos but I think you can get them on-line too they have poppers that go all along below the boob and it means very little boob is showing while you are feeding anyway. Fresh Mums I think rings a bell for the brand.

End of my two cents worth :-)

Bron

[Milly]

I find American's so messed up about things like this. They have no problem with seeing Paris Hilton or Jessica Simpson parading around in next to nothing on every magazine cover and TV show, or 16 year old girls flashing their boobs to any one with a video camera at Mardi Gras and Spring Break, but when it's a woman doing what comes naturally by feeding her child they find it disgusting and offensive. It's serioused screwed up.

Yes, it is a very contradictory culture. I often wonder that too! :)

[tanni_83]

the best come back ive heard was from my cousin. we were just chatting and she said. well if someone in a eating area has a problem just simply point out the fact that "this is an eating area isnt it ? well the baby IS eating!!!" :laughing: i love it!! :smiliedance:

[Pixie]

Well now that I have had my baby and have been out I can say if she needs feeding I am dam well going to do it wherever I am! Although I try to find a quieter spot so we don't get to many people looking lol I have been using one of her musin wraps when I feed her, people look but they can't see anything so hmm tis all good....hey I'd rather feed her then have her scream!

[2 Cherubs]

I breastfeed and I breastfeed where ever...Its not like I sit there with my boob hanging out in full view for all to see....I am covered well enough....I ocasionally feed in theParent room and cant wait to get out for several reasons....The smell is the biggest....Does anybody else find this a problem???? .....
I think the same....If you find it a problem dont look......
Also if people do look and give nasty snares I dont let it bother me at all ...
As the saying goes......"Each to their own"

Well said Devon_mouse......!!! Im all with you :D

[juliek]

I'm pro b/f in public, I only did it a few times as my bub would only feed in football position, but I always made sure I was either in a corner or facing a wall when I did it. The only real problem I had was on a flight when bub was 3months and the guy sitting next to my husband kept staring at me even tho my hubby was holding a wrap over me. Having said that I'm against women who have to display it for the world to see. We went to sizzler 2 weeks after my bub was born(she was still in nicu) with some friends who had their bub the week after me and I swear she should of had a megaphone to announce she was about to b/f, it would have been more discrete. She unbuttoned her entire top, flopped out her boob and then stood up to get her bub out of the pram. Hubby and I were both speachless and I feel sorry for all the people who saw it. It's one thing to b/f in public it's completely another to have your boob swinging in the breeze for all to see at sizzler.

[RedPanda]

I am all for bf, and hope to bf my baby when it arrives in June! Seeing other mothers feeding their babies doesn't bother me at all. Despite the fact that I know it is natural etc etc, I am worried that my inhibitions will prevent me from feeding my baby. I've seen many friends do it discreetly, and I hope i am able to do it as easily as they seem to. I'm more worried about other people (which I know is silly). When my sister-in-law was bf several years ago, my DH's family members would walk up and chat to her and watch the baby feed, even if she had left the room for a quieter place. I don't want people watching me, particularly in the early days when I'm still finding my feet, but I know that my DH's family might consider me a prude for insisting on privacy. It's a small issue, I know, but it niggles at me!

[Funkychicken]

I've always fed my babies whenever, wherever but i do have to admit that with no.#1 at times I was concerned about what other's may think-depending on where we were. Now that I am feeding no#3 I have no idea who is around me let alone who is looking! It does take time and experience to learn to feed in public. And just like a lot of jobs, you become more and more relaxed and comfortable as you get better at it. It is so worth keeping up breastfeeding in public as eventually it becomes all about you and bub with no thought to those hanging around. And one of the best parts about it, and it has been mentioned here before, is that we are showing the newer mums that it is totally acceptable. Seeing a mother breastfeeding in public is so inspiring. Many new mums have never seen anyone breastfeed before as we no longer have extended families in and out of our lives and homes, so one of the best ways to show them it is OK is to do it ourselves.:D :smiliedance:

[SassyMummy]

[QUOTE=hazel79] I am worried that my inhibitions will prevent me from feeding my baby. I've seen many friends do it discreetly, and I hope i am able to do it as easily as they seem to. I'm more worried about other people (which I know is silly).QUOTE]

Don't worry...you very well could get over that! I did. I had "rules" about breast feeding before I actually had the baby. The rules were that nobody, apart from DP and hospital staff, would EVER see my breastfeed. A few hours after bub was born, and my mother saw too. Not such a big deal...but then LATER ON I'd just do it when ANYONE was around (with the exception of my father...he'll NEVER see any of that...lol). I did it in front of friends, even male friends, and any family members who were nearby.

I just found it SO MUCH EASIER to do that than seek privacy (or tell them to get lost when they were visiting in hospital and I needed to feed DD).

And just to prove how uninhibited I felt...

When my milk came in, it hit like a ton of bricks. It was PAINFUL. I sent my mother off to get a breastpump at the late-night pharmacy (I didn't think I'd need one...but boy did I!). My friend later popped over and PUMPED FOR ME. lol. My arm was getting sore, I had a c-section (so I was sore) and I just wasn't in the mood for pumping. So she milked me like a cow! lol. (I also had various hospital staff members express milk for me when I was in hospital).

I dunno...I think the fear just goes away. I don't walk around naked or anything...but I just don't really care about boobs showing anymore.

[Sarie]

I think it's fantastic if you can. I just wouldn't be able to do it myself.

[CarolineF]

If you are breastfeeding your child and you are out I don't think that you can expect a baby to wait until you get home or found a parents room necessarily before feeding that baby.

But, I do think that a certain amount of discretion is necessary, be that a cover or whatever. We live in a world and a country of many different cultures, religions and personal feelings, and although it does not bother me...I can understand why some people may be offended.

I was in a cafe recently with another parent from my daughters school. she was there with her3 1/2 yr old. after he had had his breakfast of French Toast and Maple Syrup he jumped up onto his mums lap, opened her shirt and began breastfeeding.

It took me by surprise, but nowhere near to the extent of the table of businessmen next door. They almost had coronaries and I have never seen a cafe clear soooo fast.

It was neither subtle nor discreetly done.....although I did wonder what offended them more.....the fact it was so openly done..or the fact the child was clearly pre-school.

Any views?

[Pixie]

I was in a park the other day when a really old man came right up to me and tried to peer under the wrap:eek: I felt horrible no way he could see but yanno...then he went and sat on the bench next to me ewwww I fed her n left ASAP...should of told him to mind his own bees wax but did't want to cause a scene also realise older people not use to it etc but I reckon he was just a dirty old, old, old man :shame:

[Maghan]

I'm an anywhere, anytime, any place gal. I do recall one time being at a cafe with a girlfriend. I whipped my boob out just as I was having a let down and hit someone sitting quite a distance away!

[kymmy]

I HAVE BREASTFEED 3 BABIES STILL FEEDING 6 MTH OLD I WILL FEED WHEN I HAVE TO BECAUSE I BELIEVE PEOPLE ARE MORE ANNOYED WITH A SCREAMING BABY THAN A B/F ONE

I LIKE TO BE COMFORTABLE AND USUALLY FEED AT HOME ON THE COUCH OR IN BED BUT IF YOU ARE OUT ALL DAY YOU HAVE LITTLE CHOICE
WITH MY DAUGHTER SHE WAS ALWAYS DEMANDING MILK SO I FED HER IN PUBLIC ALL THE TIME SOMETIMES IN THE SHOP, EVEN WAITING IN THE QUEUE

NOW WITH MY BOYS THEY ARE FAR MORE PATIENT AND I HAVE MORE DISCRETION IT IS EASIER NOW THAN WITH MY FIRST, TRYING TO LATCH ON AND ALL THOUGH AS THEY GET OLDER IT IS HARD TO STOP BABY EXPOSING THEIR FEED SUPPLY!:wave:

I HAVE SEEN SOME DISGUSTING THINGS AND FEEDING IS NOT ONE OF THEM I SEE PEOPLE EATING ALL THE TIME I DO IT TOO GOTTA EAT!!!

[Funkychicken]

I'm an anywhere, anytime, any place gal. I do recall one time being at a cafe with a girlfriend. I whipped my boob out just as I was having a let down and hit someone sitting quite a distance away!
:laughing: LOL:laughing:

[SassyMummy]

While I understand that feeding in public could upset many people...it is impossible to make EVERYONE happy...so why even bother trying?

I don't breastfeed any more, but when I was still doing it, my main priority was my baby. Then myself. Then those around me who I KNEW (I never breastfed in front of my Grandparents because I respect that they don't want to see it...and I actually CARE about what they think because they are people I care about). A stranger was of no concern to me. Surely you have to expect that you'll most certainly see and hear things that you don't necessarily like when you go out in public.

People swear in public, have their butt-cracks showing (or G-strings...lol), talk about sexual activities when your kids might be in earshot...there's so many things that might offend different people when you go out. Since breastfeeding is such a natural thing, I wonder why anyone should bother trying to please other people and just do what they feel comfortable doing.

I do however think it's a bit silly for women to breastfeeding in parliament. While I respect that she chooses to breastfeed, she should have made her decision to work and express milk for the bub, or to take maternity leave and breastfeed there. That's just my opinion anyway. It's inappropriate for ANYONE who isn't an MP to attend parliament, and I don't think a baby is any different. It would be like me working in a beauty salon and giving someone a bikini wax whilst breastfeeding!

[Bronte Pot-Pot]

I had "rules" about breast feeding before I actually had the baby. The rules were that nobody, apart from DP and hospital staff, would EVER see my breastfeed. A few hours after bub was born, and my mother saw too. Not such a big deal...but then LATER ON I'd just do it when ANYONE was around (with the exception of my father...he'll NEVER see any of that...lol). I did it in front of friends, even male friends, and any family members who were nearby.


I was one of those people that made all these rules before the baby was born and then threw them out of the window as impractical after her arrival :-)

Mind you I don't think I made any strict ones about breastfeeding only that I was going to give it my best and even if I got mastitis I was going to persist – thank goodness I didn't get mastitis - although the whole cracked and bleeding nipples and chunks bitten off was not something I realised I would have to work through and I am sooo glad I did because she has barely been sick and she recovers quite quickly from sniffles if she gets them.

Re not breastfeeding in front of some people – After I had my Dad in the theatre at the stillbirth of my son all concern about what he might have thought about my simply breastfeeding in front of him with my daughter never crossed my mind....

I do very much understand why everyone feels the way though do though it is very much a personal thing and I certainly wouldn't whip it out in front of someone if I even got the slightest sense they might be offended. I certainly wouldn't get my boob out before I picked the bub up out of the pram – but if another women feels that she wants to do that I guess that is up to her... I am not sure whether that would contravene any laws though that one ..... I can imagine the up roar if some-one tried to ban breastfeeding altogether at sizzler as a result though! And in that light I think women should show some discretion so that we are still afforded the freedom to bf in public.

Thank goodness I have had no dirty old man staring at me though that certainly would have annoyed me – I probably would have said something though I am like that :-) drives my DH insane, as he is a complete introvert.

[Ana Gram]

I do however think it's a bit silly for women to breastfeeding in parliament. While I respect that she chooses to breastfeed, she should have made her decision to work and express milk for the bub, or to take maternity leave and breastfeed there. That's just my opinion anyway. It's inappropriate for ANYONE who isn't an MP to attend parliament, and I don't think a baby is any different. It would be like me working in a beauty salon and giving someone a bikini wax whilst breastfeeding!


I don't think that was just about her breast feeding at work. It was more a statement to the members of parliment who are mostly older men to question societies attitude about women breastfeeding in public.

[Sara's Boys]

breastfeeding is the most natural way to feed your baby. Babies need food. The survival and well being of my baby is more important than ANY ONE. I couldn't care less what any one else thinks, whether they are old fashioned prudes or digusted men. I feed my child when and where I want. I have to look at gigantic fake breasts that are nearly completely showing, for the sake of advertising??!! Yet it's wrong to whip em out and feed your bub?!! I don't get society these days.:confused:

[SugarBlossom]

I think that breast feeding id one one of the most beautiful and I love sseing a b/f mama:thumbsup:

I do hate the looks I get in public sometimes but i don't let it bother me, my baby is so much more important than what other people think!

I do however not understand the mothers who are against it....what planet are they from:mad: and go back there!

[WeThree]

The thing is, if someone else is uncomfortable about someone else bf in public, then it is THEIR problem, it is not up to me if my child needs a feed to try and find somewhere hidden for the sake of someone else, that is something they need to deal with, not me. bf is using the breasts for what they were designed for and if some of the young girls these days can get about in wearing what little clothes they do wear, and noone complains, then bf mums can discreetly pull out their nipple and maybe a hint of breast and feed their bubs.

[Funkychicken]

The thing is, if someone else is uncomfortable about someone else bf in public, then it is THEIR problem, it is not up to me if my child needs a feed to try and find somewhere hidden for the sake of someone else, that is something they need to deal with, not me. bf is using the breasts for what they were designed for and if some of the young girls these days can get about in wearing what little clothes they do wear, and noone complains, then bf mums can discreetly pull out their nipple and maybe a hint of breast and feed their bubs.

A PERFECT SUMMARY!!
:thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

[Maghan]

How did the person feel that got hit with the breastmilk? I'm sure this would make quite a few people feel very uncomfortable, although I know it was beyond your control.

I agree totally with Carlinef's post - respect for other cultures is important.

Pffft, they didn't know. :devil6: But my girlfriend and I nearly died laughing. The other patrons would've thought we were drunk...

[jessgray]

i saw this episode of dr phil and was disgusted by the additudes of some of the people on there. sure i understand people may not be comfortable seeing a breastfeeding mum with her bub but really that doesnt mean you shuld stare just look away.
no one bats an eye at a bottle feeding mum so why is breastfeeding so different? it can be done discreetly and its doing the same purpose as a bottle.

[bayandme]

I personally didn't breastfeed because it wasn't for me but I have no problem with any one else breastfeeding in public or any where. We don't have a problem with anyone eating in public and i'ts only the baby's food so why should we have a problem with women breastfeeding there baby's. I know my hubby has a bit of a problem with women breast feeding but only because he's embarrased for the women who is doing it as he always says he dosen't know where to look as he dosen't want to look at the woman and think she is thinking oh he's looking at my boobs. But he's old fashioned and dosen't want to offend the woman....:yes:

[jemma's dad]

From a dad's point of view, I have no problem with it. If I see someone I give them a smile and then just keep on doing what ever it is that I am doing. Trying to remember before DD was born (mind you, thats a little difficult, everything revolves around her) i think that I just sort of realised what they were doing and looked away so I didn't embarass me or the lady doing the feeding. I can understand the curiosity factor though, expecially for those that are about to become dad's

[Tam-I-Am]

I personally didn't breastfeed because it wasn't for me but I have no problem with any one else breastfeeding in public or any where.

I completely agree - DD is 11 months old soon, and I only just learned how to hold her (on the right breast) so I can breastfeed without pillows - this made it nearly impossible to feed her in public until now, and I wouldn't want to now because she becomes too distracted and pulls away, exposing everything.

I do not find breasts offensive, and I'm amused that the people who object to breastfeeding often don't find them offensive in a sexual sense, only in a "feeding-your-baby" sense. This is bizzarre, and as i said, amusing to me.

I think that women have the right to feed their baby anywhere, any time, and if anybody else is offended - well, that's what your neck muscles were invented for - so you can turn your head!:D

[anita_fairy]

I have no problems with breast feeding in public as breast feeding is actually natural thing that we are meant to do and also because eating is normally a social event so why should babies be excluded from eating around other people. Maybe its the breast that people are funny about - maybe they have never seen one before... I have, I have two of them so therefore they are also natural and nothing to worry about or get scared about or what ever. Be proud about breastfeeding not ashamed!!!

[NZMama]

I have to say I agree with everyone here. If you dont like to see a BFing bubs then look somewhere else. A BFing mum will be just as uncumfortable as you if you stare.
I personally will use a parents room if available and if clean. With my first DD I have vivid memories of squishing into the car and other uncomfortable spaces, it got ridiculous I had enough.
I try to respect other people by feeding in corners, facing walls and other discrete places as well as using a wrap when I can. Why cant they respect the fact that Im not being pornagraphic just nourishing my baby.
While living in Auckland a few years ago a woman in a mall who was discretely feeding her baby was asked to leave the premises as another shopper had complained about her. Can you believe it? It was broadcast on the national news that night and there were 150 BF mothers sitting in the middle of the mall the next day....lol. Take that!

[Tam-I-Am]

Why cant they respect the fact that Im not being pornagraphic just nourishing my baby.

While living in Auckland a few years ago a woman in a mall who was discretely feeding her baby was asked to leave the premises as another shopper had complained about her. Can you believe it? It was broadcast on the national news that night and there were 150 BF mothers sitting in the middle of the mall the next day....lol. Take that!

To the first - I completely agree! I fail to understand how people could even associate a breastfeeding mum with sex anyway, there's is absolutely nothing sexy about breastfeeding!

To the second - that's disgusting! But good on those b/f mums for their constructive protest! I'm glad to say I'm pretty sure legislation in Australia means that breastfeeding mums have the right to breastfeed anywhere they chose!

[SamanthaJane]

I am uncomfortable with the whole aspect of breast feeding, i always have been, and thats why i am choosing to bottle feed from the beginning.

Seeing another woman breastfeed does make me feel uncomfortable.

But should they have to stop because i am uncomfortable about it? NO:mad: NO:mad: NO:mad:

It is my problem, and i can deal with that myself. I would never annoy a woman breastfeeding her baby in public by saying rude remarks, or asking her to stop. And I would never vote "yes" in any election to ban breast feeding in public.

i think its horrid that some women have to deal with remarks like that!

[cheezelkat]

We are so lucky in Australia that breastfeeding is more "normal" than what it is in some other countries. I've breastfed in public many times, and have received nothing but positive comments. I've fed at doctors, hospitals, restaurants and shopping centres.

I don't have a problem seeing a bottle teat that is designed to be "nipple shaped", the same people should not have problem with a nipple on a breast!

I do use parents room if they're comfortable. I wouldn't if it was small or dirty. The ones near me are lovely though!

[Fairyfloss]

I seroiusly don't get it, you can wear a dress which practically exposses most of your breast except your nipple, and no one will complain because teh nipple is covered by fabric, but if your nipple is covered by a cute litlle mouth, feeding, then everyone starts compalining:mad:. I am so not getting thsi double standard thing:banghead:. BF is teh best whereever and whenever it is done:thumbsup:

[the_queen]

Yesterday I had my first "breastfeeding in public" experience. I took both the kids on the bus down to the shops, and while we were there Curtis needed a feed. I had a blanket with me so I draped that discreetly over us - I felt more nervous about it than I thought I would!! Maybe it gets easier with time...? Also I guess because I'm not an "expert" at the feeding thing yet, ie I still have to take some time getting him attached and I am still a bit unco getting the bra undone and done back up again :o Hopefully next time it will be easier, and then the time after that will be easier again.

I didn't get any "looks" or anything - I would have got heaps of looks I'm sure, if I'd just let my baby scream and scream and scream.....

[Ana Gram]

I'm sure you will get the hang of it soon enough Queenie. Before long you will be able to feed baby, wrangle child, eat lunch and talk on the phone all at the same time :yes:

[Tam-I-Am]

Yup, what Chelle said!

[Mahjong]

Sadly, I couldn't breastfeed longer than 2 weeks. I dont think that I would be comfortable doing it myself in public, HOWEVER, it doesn't bother me at all if other mother's choose to breastfeed in public. Whatever makes the mother and child comfortable, so be it :)

[Goosie22]

A new use for the Blanket (http://skylane.kjsl.com/~cee/hathorbuttinski.jpg) while breastfeeding in public:laughing: .

[Rainbowbrite]

A new use for the Blanket (http://skylane.kjsl.com/~cee/hathorbuttinski.jpg) while breastfeeding in public:laughing: .

Too funny, but oh how I wish i had one :laughing:

[NZMama]

A new use for the Blanket (http://skylane.kjsl.com/~cee/hathorbuttinski.jpg) while breastfeeding in public:laughing: .

:laughing: :laughing: :laughing: Too funny.
I have to admit breastfeeding at home in front of company made me uncomfortable to start with and my first attempt in public was awkward but practice made perfect and I got the hang of it. To the point that some people dont even realise that I am doing it....

[execmum]

'Kids gotta eat - mum's got the goods - bugger everyone - feed that baby!!'

he he he what else needs to be said, great line Schmell,