Do you think it is OK to...

[A Party of Five]

:detective: Do you think it is OK to marry someone your parents don't want you to marry?

I think its good to listen to your parents concerns, and they may or may not have good reasons. But ultimately what's important is that you follow your heart and you end up with someone you know that you love and who loves you, and treats you the way you deserve.

[*~alegna~*]

I ticked "other" cause I think it is perfectly ok for someone to marry someone there family doesn't like but it's not something that I would do.

If my Mum (whom I'm very close to) didn't like or approve of my DH before we were married I wouldn't have gone ahead. Finny I know but thats just me.

[mumbron]

I think the final choice lies with the one getting married, also there must be a good reason behind why the parents wouldn't agree on it in the first place :)

[naiwen]

Of course you can if you want too but if my parents had a valid reason for not liking the guy then I would listen too them.

[sam's mum]

it's hard. it would depend what their objections were.

back when I was divorced I dated a few guys and after I had been through a few losers I told my family that they had to start telling me if they thought I had picked a loser, and I started to listen. I actually appreciated it because it was a more objective view.

[sloaney]

Some people's families/parents may not be the best judges of character themselves unfortunately - I think that if I listened to my parents advice I'd be a penniless party girl with a drug problem atm, not happily married with a family, mortgage and study commitments.

So definitely consider what your family thinks but perhaps their advice might make you want to run the other way - and with reason.

[ziggie]

It wouldn't be ok for me, personally.

I'm way too close to my family, and would hate the rift it would cause.

[Mischief]

No, I couldnt. Like Sarah, Im way to close to my family, I couldnt stand it if there was a rift.

Lucky for me, Mum and Dad love Steven (sometimes more than me I swear! LOL).! :D

[suemp]

ive never been in that situation. ive been with dp since i was 20 and before that relationships werent what you would call serious. and they love my dp.
however if they didnt i would still marry him (except im not the marrying type lol) as i live interstate from my family and while i love them to death i only see them once or twice a year where as i have to live with dp so its up to me who i can handle living with

[34me]

I think its your personal choice who you marry, but I think if your family have valid reasons for not wanting you to marry that person you should at least consider these reasons. I am so glad I didnt marry my ex, my mother hated him, and with good reason, I was just too blind to see how he really was.

[Lastcenturymum]

My advice would be follow your heart AND head.

Lots of people get infatuated and mistake it for love (Im not saying this is you) without considering the practicalities. SO yes, listen to what your parents say and weigh up if their reasons are justified. Cos even though the Beatles said 'all you need is love' it kinda takes a bit more than that to make it work!

I think you are considering it maturely by asking and have listened to them at least

[Fuchsia!]

depending on what the reasons were, i would marry whomever. Because it is me that has to be married to them, sleep with them, spend the rest of my life with them, not my families.

But if my parents had an extremely good reason as to why i shouldn't marry then that's ok i would listen.

Im close to my family but they would respect my decision to marry who i want and not cause a rift.

[missie_mack]

Wow I amazed at how many people wouldnt go against their parents advice :eek:

Well if it was up to my FIL DH and I wouldnt be married. Its not that he disliked anything particular about me but thought that DH should only marry a supermodel who was about 19. When DH told his father that things were getting serious his father quite clearly told him to move along as there were more fish in the sea :( Fortunately for me he didnt and we have been living together for 4 years and very happily married for almost 2 with a son.

Fortunately for DH my mother loves him dearly and while I would listen to her reasons I would make my own decisions. Although I am not the type to be swept away easily and see things very logically (hence I trust my own instincts :D)

[mum_inlove]

I've been in the exact situation. My mom wouldn't talk to me for one year when I first moved in with my then bf. Then we made up and I got engaged. She however refused to come to our wedding because my now dh wouldn't convert to our religions. I don't force him because why should he converts into something he doesn't even believe in?

Having said that, I normally always follow my parents advices, but only that time, I so strongly wanted to follow my heart.

If I was put in the same position again, I don't know what I'd do. I mean those times were one of the happiest yet saddest moment at the same time in my life, I still get tears whenever I remember them:(. My dh and my mom are now talking, she's loving to be a grandma to our 2 children. I don't think we'd be where we are now if I didn't follow my heart, and 5 years later, we're still truly love each other:valentine:

[ColdCass]

I think its your personal choice who you marry, but I think if your family have valid reasons for not wanting you to marry that person you should at least consider these reasons. I am so glad I didnt marry my ex, my mother hated him, and with good reason, I was just too blind to see how he really was.

:iagree: my mother hated my ex (who I was with for 5 years or so) because she though he didn't respect me enough. She was right but I couldn't see it at the time - love goggles! I now trust her judgement a lot more.


:D On the other hand, if my younger sister thought a boyfriend was nice he usually turned out to be a b*stard!

[Ashleigh<3]

Sometimes I feel that my parents love my DF more then I.

I would not however, base my own personal relationship decisions on my parents opinions.
I believe I'm able enough to make that decision for myself.

My parents have told me to do a lot of things, doesn't mean I do them. A lot of the things they tell me to do are very traditional and biblical. If I followed along their path, and not my own. I wouldn't be who I am. I'd be 'them'.

[Freya]

I think it depends really...

Mum didnt like my exdp from day one..:no: She turned out to be right about him!

My best friends parents don't speak to their families because they chose to be together against their parents wishes, 27 years later still happily married and have never had a big fight.:eek:


So I really don't know what I would do.

[Ashleigh<3]

I think it's really easy to take on board our parents opinions but it doesn't mean we have to act on them. They are just observations.
If they forcefully recommend you don't do this or that, they are probably very serious and it might help to listen in but then again, they could just be crazy. :p

[Mum&bubs]

I think it's fine to listen to your parent's concerns about your partner but because you are an adult, it should be up to you to make your own decisions.

If my parents didn't like Karl, I'd still marry him. My family would accept it eventually and move on. Lucky they do love him :D

[Teley]

I have the viewpoint that love has no boundaries.:valentine:

[SassyMummy]

I clicked other.

I do think that if a number of people have concerns, then you really should listen to them... quite often other can see something you can't (because your head is hazy with lurve...).

My parents don't really let on though, particularly my mother (whose opinion I value more than my fathers). It's unlikely they'd just come out with, "I don't like him."

[xxSerendipityxx]

I selected other - I think it's ok to marry someone that your parents don't agree with, provided that you are absolutely sure you are making the right decision. I personally think that it's good to hear the opinions of other people, because sometimes when you're in love with someone, it's very easy to think the sun shines out of their bum but in actual fact they could be more trouble than they're worth! :D

[Hokey Pokey]

Yep! :)

[Queen]

I ticked the box No...

The reason is, because if YOU love this person, your parents should put aside there grievances and like this person too.
Thats what parents are supposed to do, put your happiness before their own.