Aaaaahhhh!! Does anyone elses 2 year old scream at bedtime EVERY night?!

[Kade's Mummy]

Hi everyone

I just need to vent because I am so tense and teary and frustrated! :hair: DS is 22 months - yes that's right, nearly 2! - and STILL going to bed every night is an absolute debarcle. Last night he screamed for 1 hour and 15 before he finally nodded off (with me going in an laying him back down at increasing time intervals) and tonight it has been 40 mins and we are still counting...

He is still in a cot but I am just tonight trying him in his big boys bed because I have nothing to lose... and another baby on the way! At times like these I think I am mad having another! :eek:

Anyway, does/has anyone got/had similar problems at such an age? He still has a day sleep (anywhere between 1.5 and 3 hours), and thankfully once he is asleep he tends to sleep through.

And by the way, so much fun by day! Just devil at bedtime.... :devil:

[Kade's Mummy]

Me again - 1 hour and 15 minutes again and he is finally off (in his bed rather than the cot)... :sleeping:

[Mybabble]

Is he going to bed too early?
My ds is around the same age and up until 2 months ago would quite happily go to bed at 6:30. Now if i put him down any time before 8:00 he screams, but if i wait till 8 he goes off no problems at all.
Just a thought....

[Sheer Bliss]

:hugs::hugs: DD is 34months old - YES almost 3, and we are having those issues. lol. She is in a bed now, so she just keeps coming out of her room. If i shut the door she screams, so i imagine if she was still in the cot she'd be screaming the whole time. I can't help sorry, as i don't know what to do either, but I can sympathise!!!

She is standing next to me right now, i am ignoring her in an attempt to give NO attention whatsoever.

[tru]

Is he going to bed too early?....

And what time does he usually wake up in the morning and from his day nap?

I'm sure it will get better for you soon :hugs:

[Kade's Mummy]

Thanks girls, we start trying anywhere between 7.45pm and 8pm - if we wait til 9, it definitely becomes less of a challenge, but at the risk of sounding selfish my DH and I enjoy at least a little couple time and want to try and push for it if we can!

I am in bed by 9.30, exhausted with the little man and the pregnancy. Mind you, in saying that he is not actually stopping screaming til 8.45 anyway!!

Aaaaaaaaahhhhh!! What to do?!! It is so frustrating and heartbreaking at the same time :(

[Kade's Mummy]

Sorry Tru - to answer your questions, he wakes in the morning between 6.15 and 7, and is always up from his day sleep by 3.30pm at latest, normally around 2.30pm.

[Mybabble]

Thanks girls, we start trying anywhere between 7.45pm and 8pm - if we wait til 9, it definitely becomes less of a challenge, but at the risk of sounding selfish my DH and I enjoy at least a little couple time and want to try and push for it if we can!

I am in bed by 9.30, exhausted with the little man and the pregnancy. Mind you, in saying that he is not actually stopping screaming til 8.45 anyway!!

Aaaaaaaaahhhhh!! What to do?!! It is so frustrating and heartbreaking at the same time :(

I know what you mean about having time to yourself. I loved it when Lachy would be in bed at 6:30, we would have a few hours to relax.

Goodluck, i hope things get better for you soon:hugs:

[no1pearl]

Gee i hope i dont' have to face this too! i don't have the balls to let DD cry for a second longer than she has to (The time it takes me to get to her).
i do wish you the best of luck - and all the mums in this situ -
i have seen a DF successfully use the go away longer method with success. i feel like i should mention a page i have viewed a few times. google pinky sleep, and the first article is an interesting read.

I haven't tried it yet - i don't have a toddler - but i'm aiming for cuddling DD when she feels she needs it, and making her feel safe that i will be there whenever she needs me. hopefully giving her the peace within herself to drift off with me in the corner of her eye. (if not still nursing from my breast) i know i will be tested and tried, but i reckon that's how she will learn to trust me. childern's games are learning.
JMO

[reAllytee]

Ok im going to offer some suggestions which arent for every child but this is what we ended up having to do a few weeks ago. Our almost 3yr old was taking anywhere from 1-3hrs to go to sleep was running around carrying on & was so tired it wasnt funny !

So we are talking about him not getting to bed until midnight somedays otherwise around 10pm & then he was waking at 4 or 5am :hair: What made matters worse was that he now refuses to have a nap even when so tired he can hardly walk ! And was waking at least 5 times a nite :geek:

Ok so we used to be really lenient in that he was allowed to sleep in his bed or our bed it didnt bother us. I would often lay with him but as i said he would run riot he didnt care. Then when we came to bed we would transfer him across to his bed.

A few people advised that this was possibly the problem as he didnt have a routine & being a toddler many crave this as they then know whats going to happen.

Anyways im getting there honest :o We basically became very strict with bedtime.

Starting from dinner we would talk about what was going to happen eg. bath after dinner then storytime & bed. This all starts at 6pm so that he is in bed no later than 7.30pm. He gets to choose his bedtime story, turn on his nite light & once this is finished we have some cuddles & a bit of a talk then he is told ' its time for sleep '.

The first week was still a nightmare in that he would scream at the idea of me leaving him & that he was being made to stay in his room. We would be going backwards & forwards putting him back into bed but funnily enough this only lasted an hour each nite so a huge difference to 3hrs ! We wouldnt interact with him at all unless it was needed & then we would only say ' its time for bed '. He was only waking once a nite if at all so again huuuuge difference & even started sleeping in till 6am :smiliedance:

Now 4wks on its only taking approx 30mins if that for him to go off to sleep & he now stays in his room happily as he knows its time for bed. He just talks to his bear or baby doll. He doesnt wake through the nite anymore & doesnt wake any earlier than 6.30am. He comes in for morning cuddles & has become so much happier through the day because of it. We still have the usual toddler tantrums but none of the huge meltdowns we were having due to lack of sleep.

This isnt for every child but many toddlers need the security of routine & of knowing what will happen next so anyways i hope this can help even if just a little !

[Mumma]

We went through this as well. And our experience was similar to allyoo's.

We established a solid routine. But there are also a couple of 'naughty' things in there as well...for example, we have started rewarding our DS1 for going to bed 'like a good boy' If he goes to bed everynight for a week, without a fuss, he gets a new Thomas the Tank Engine train.

Also, he still have milk from a bottle at night, so we allow him to have a second top up while in bed (which he finishes before sleeping..no teeth issues).

[nugglyboysmum]

We were having those same issues and i was beside myself in the end not knowing what to do. I called parent helpline and they were so great! It turns out that due to diet restrictions recently for reflux DS wasn't really interested much in food, so i was putting him to bed on an empty stomach (gosh i felt cruel when she told me that!). SO at her suggestion we started a new routine which has been magic for us.

At 6:30 i toast a piece of bread and spread it with marg, then take it up to his room along with 3 books. then i bath DS, we go straight from the bath to bedroom, get dry and dressed, eat the toast while reading 1 of the books, then get into bed and read 2 more stories. When the stories have finished i tell him to lay down while i turn off the light then i come back and snuggle him for a minute or two. I tell him its time to have a big sleep then i walk out. 9/10 he goes straight to sleep, amazing. if he still cries after all that, i dod CC, going in at increasing intervals i rarely get pased 3 mins though.

HTH, i hope you find a routine that works with your bub.

I would recommend calling parent helpline and chatting to them about things, they are amazing caring women who are really super supportive,

[sockstealingpoltergeist]

Ok im going to offer some suggestions which arent for every child but this is what we ended up having to do a few weeks ago. Our almost 3yr old was taking anywhere from 1-3hrs to go to sleep was running around carrying on & was so tired it wasnt funny !

So we are talking about him not getting to bed until midnight somedays otherwise around 10pm & then he was waking at 4 or 5am :hair: What made matters worse was that he now refuses to have a nap even when so tired he can hardly walk ! And was waking at least 5 times a nite :geek:

Ok so we used to be really lenient in that he was allowed to sleep in his bed or our bed it didnt bother us. I would often lay with him but as i said he would run riot he didnt care. Then when we came to bed we would transfer him across to his bed.

A few people advised that this was possibly the problem as he didnt have a routine & being a toddler many crave this as they then know whats going to happen.

Anyways im getting there honest :o We basically became very strict with bedtime.

Starting from dinner we would talk about what was going to happen eg. bath after dinner then storytime & bed. This all starts at 6pm so that he is in bed no later than 7.30pm. He gets to choose his bedtime story, turn on his nite light & once this is finished we have some cuddles & a bit of a talk then he is told ' its time for sleep '.

The first week was still a nightmare in that he would scream at the idea of me leaving him & that he was being made to stay in his room. We would be going backwards & forwards putting him back into bed but funnily enough this only lasted an hour each nite so a huge difference to 3hrs ! We wouldnt interact with him at all unless it was needed & then we would only say ' its time for bed '. He was only waking once a nite if at all so again huuuuge difference & even started sleeping in till 6am :smiliedance:

Now 4wks on its only taking approx 30mins if that for him to go off to sleep & he now stays in his room happily as he knows its time for bed. He just talks to his bear or baby doll. He doesnt wake through the nite anymore & doesnt wake any earlier than 6.30am. He comes in for morning cuddles & has become so much happier through the day because of it. We still have the usual toddler tantrums but none of the huge meltdowns we were having due to lack of sleep.

This isnt for every child but many toddlers need the security of routine & of knowing what will happen next so anyways i hope this can help even if just a little !
This is what I was thinking as well- Good idea allyoo.:)

[2s'nuff]

Here's what we used to do when DD1 was 20 months and going through similar stuff at bedtime.

- Moved her into a big bed
- Set up specific bedtime routine that included reading a book once in bed
- Bought her bedtime forward
- If she kept getting out of bed/screaming I'd sit facing away from her near her bed until she was asleep/settled, gradually moving away until I got to a point at bedtime I'd say: 'Goodnight, I'll be just outside the door and can hear you if you call'.

Maybe make a big deal about getting him into his big bed and out of the cot.
Cut down on the amount of sleep he's having during the day, you'll find a balance, enough to keep him happy during the day but not too much that he won't sleep at night.
Bring his bedtime forward. Going to bed later does not mean he will sleep in more. It just means they get very tired - DD1 used to wake at 6am no matter what time she went to bed.
You may also want to look into his diet as this affects sleep behaviour and patterns. Check out the fedupwithfoodadditives site for information

Good luck!
Lisa

[Kade's Mummy]

Thanks so much everyone - I am pleased to say (touch wood) we have cracked him! :yes: How? Well...

- moved him into his big bed, no more cot
- shorter sleep during the day (this actually happened on its own as a result of him being able to get out of the bed vs the cot)
- consistent bed time routine - wind down from 7.15pm, bed between 7.30 and 7.45pm
- when he cries (which, I am DELIGHTED to say hasn't even happened the last two nights!! :smiliedance:) go in, don't talk to him, just put him back into his bed and walk out

We are all so much happier!! I love hearing the pitter patter of his feet on the floorboards in the morning, and the inevitable 'Good Morning!' chirp which follows :goodvibes:

Anyway, I am a huge believer in every child being different and what works for one doesn't necessarily work for another, but thought I should share what has worked for us.

Thank you all so much for your support :hugs:

P.S - before you think he has turned into a complete angel, let me say our day is starting anywhere between 5am and 6am! YUK!! Aaaah... one problem solved, another arises, but this one isn't nearly as distressing ;)

[Myztik]

Glad he's settled down for you.. now can you send him over to talk to my 18mnth old please? :p

[Kade's Mummy]

Glad he's settled down for you.. now can you send him over to talk to my 18mnth old please? :p

Ha Myztik :laughing:! you will be pleased to hear he had a dirty great big tantrum on the floor in Spotlight today, nice!!! :rolleyes:

[Myztik]

unfortunately that kinda thing isn't uncommon with my boys lol..