NikGonMad
08-01-2008, 23:21
Hi All
I am interested in getting peoples opinions and stories of their experiences in relation to their donor.
How did you choose going for one option or the other. How has this decision affected how the birth mother feel/ sees the child? How has this decision affected how the non biological mother feels/sees the child?
The reason I ask is that I watched the documentary on egg donors on the sbs this evening. One woman said something to the effect that she didn't feel she could carry the biological child of another woman with out knowing that person and without knowing that they had similar values and points of view. And it got me thinking...
I have an appointment at QFG in October. (I booked my appointments way too early...but what can I say...I got excited:) .) I have always planned on having an unknown donor, simply because I don't really know many men, letter lone many I would ask to be a donor for me. But this story tonight got me thinking about how I would feel only knowing the donors age, hair and eye colour and that they are disease free.
I would like to know a bit about them. Hobbies, education.....that they are a 'good' person.....
I suppose the fact that they were 'good' enough to donate in the first place should be good enough for me......
I suppose I'm worried that I will always wonder about the donor. Does the child look like them? Does the child share some of that persons characteristics? Am I going to wonder if every guy I walk past was the donor? Will I feel differently towards a child based on whether the donor is know or unknown? And what about the child. When they reach an age to start questioning this stuff I will have very little to tell them about the other half of their biological heritage. How will the child feel about that?
These questions are probably unanswerables - things that will only be know after the child is born. But I would be interested in knowing other peoples stories if you are willing to share.
I guess these questions come partly from the womans comment on the show, and partly because after my family is complete I want to donate eggs to a couple who are infertile. (I feel that if I am taking sperm to make my baby, I need to give back to others.) If/when that happens, I would like to have some sort of updates on the child. A phone call when bub was born and a photo and letter once a year on how the child is going perhaps. So I guess I think that if I want that from the parents of a child I donate for....would not a child I conceive from donor sperm want some sort of awareness of their donor other than hair and eye colour?
Is this making any sense?
Am very interested to hear peoples comments and stories.
Thanks
Nik
I am interested in getting peoples opinions and stories of their experiences in relation to their donor.
How did you choose going for one option or the other. How has this decision affected how the birth mother feel/ sees the child? How has this decision affected how the non biological mother feels/sees the child?
The reason I ask is that I watched the documentary on egg donors on the sbs this evening. One woman said something to the effect that she didn't feel she could carry the biological child of another woman with out knowing that person and without knowing that they had similar values and points of view. And it got me thinking...
I have an appointment at QFG in October. (I booked my appointments way too early...but what can I say...I got excited:) .) I have always planned on having an unknown donor, simply because I don't really know many men, letter lone many I would ask to be a donor for me. But this story tonight got me thinking about how I would feel only knowing the donors age, hair and eye colour and that they are disease free.
I would like to know a bit about them. Hobbies, education.....that they are a 'good' person.....
I suppose the fact that they were 'good' enough to donate in the first place should be good enough for me......
I suppose I'm worried that I will always wonder about the donor. Does the child look like them? Does the child share some of that persons characteristics? Am I going to wonder if every guy I walk past was the donor? Will I feel differently towards a child based on whether the donor is know or unknown? And what about the child. When they reach an age to start questioning this stuff I will have very little to tell them about the other half of their biological heritage. How will the child feel about that?
These questions are probably unanswerables - things that will only be know after the child is born. But I would be interested in knowing other peoples stories if you are willing to share.
I guess these questions come partly from the womans comment on the show, and partly because after my family is complete I want to donate eggs to a couple who are infertile. (I feel that if I am taking sperm to make my baby, I need to give back to others.) If/when that happens, I would like to have some sort of updates on the child. A phone call when bub was born and a photo and letter once a year on how the child is going perhaps. So I guess I think that if I want that from the parents of a child I donate for....would not a child I conceive from donor sperm want some sort of awareness of their donor other than hair and eye colour?
Is this making any sense?
Am very interested to hear peoples comments and stories.
Thanks
Nik