Working in the mines??

[subaruforestermum]

Anyone in this position I need to know how it is!

DP has just informed me that when we move and settle in, he wants to go work in the mines, as he will get double what he is on now, and we can continue to live off what we are now, and put the extra straight into the house!

Now it all seems like a good idea in theory, getting out of debt sooner, etc, but I cant help but think of the effect it will have on DS. He will be 3 this year, and alreayd misses his daddy, when DP is just working 12 hour days, how is he going to cope not seeing him for 6 weeks, then seeing him for 6 weeks, only to not see him again for 6 weeks, etc.

How do your kids cope, how do you cope? Any info appreciated, personal experience or second hand experience appreciated. I'm in 2 minds about it! Is the money really worth missing out on his child's life, they are only young once, but then where do we draw the line, as he will have firsts all through his life!

All too much for me going on at the moment and now this!:confused:

[westerner]

Would the roster HAVE to be 6 on 6 off??

Why couldn't he only apply for jobs that are 2 on 1 off or 3 on 1 off..??

[subaruforestermum]

I'm not sure, all he told me was that with his proffession that is what the roster would be! As he is an aircon tech, and air is vitally important there!

He wants to look into it more, so I guess that will be a question for him to ask!

[Lastcenturymum]

Something else to consider is YOUR relationship, not just the kids. How strong is it and can it handle the separation and then the return (which some say they find disruptive) I heard a guy on the radio the other night who said his 3 year marriage didn't last due to him being in the mines,

I think it would take a lot of hard work to keep things working properly and add young kids to the mix...not ideal and I know it wouldn't work for me.

You both need to weigh up if its really worth it just for the money

[subaruforestermum]

Something else to consider is YOUR relationship, not just the kids. How strong is it and can it handle the separation and then the return (which some say they find disruptive) I heard a guy on the radio the other night who said his 3 year marriage didn't last due to him being in the mines,

I think it would take a lot of hard work to keep things working properly and add young kids to the mix...not ideal and I know it wouldn't work for me.

You both need to weigh up if its really worth it just for the money

See this is my thinking also! After I called off our engagement due to him wanting to change me into something, someone I'm not, I am thinking the same thing.

And that I will get into a routine with DS only for everything to be disrupted when he comes home, then I have to deal with DS being heart broken that daddy is leaving again! Which I think would put a huge strain on me and DP.

[subaruforestermum]

Well we spoke about it, and he said he would look for one which is 1 week on 1 week off!!!!

Which I am ok with , sort of, but is there anyone on here that has a partner who works in the mines who can tell me how they deal, what its like, benefits, negatives etc.....

[forbetoel]

My friends engagement ended when he went to work on the mines. Your relationship has to be not only strong, but without any insecurities that can eat away at you during the alone times. Just food for thought.

[Lastcenturymum]

There are plenty, they must be shy!!

Just a question, did you tell you he was going to/wanted to work in the mines, or ask your opinion and how you felt about it? there is a BIG difference.

Was it your recent engagement you called off?:confused: You have a lot going on at the moment there

[subaruforestermum]

There are plenty, they must be shy!!

Just a question, did you tell you he was going to/wanted to work in the mines, or ask your opinion and how you felt about it? there is a BIG difference.

Was it your recent engagement you called off?:confused: You have a lot going on at the moment there

Yeah I called off our recent engagement. After 7 years together, it finally happened then I had to call it off as he wanted to turn me into something I'm not. So until he accepts me for me, I refuse to be engaged to him, athough our relationship is still carrying on as normal! We are just working through things again, if we cant this time, its over for good. But if we can work it out then we will carry in with our plans to marry next year!

He told me it is something he WANTS to do, but asked how I felt about it. And said he would only do it if I agreed.

And he said if I agree it wont be straight away, he wants to settle into life in the new house etc first! And I want our cost price TV from LG first too..lol...(which we wont be able to afford for a few months yet).

[GraceUnhearing]

Rylans dad works in a ine in SA

he works 4 weeks on 1 week off

its along time between visits

i swear last time he was here Rylan didnt even know who he was at first which makes it hard for him.

but he soon gets to know him again within a few days then hes gone again

i feel really sorry for Rylan :(

[subaruforestermum]

Rylans dad works in a ine in SA

he works 4 weeks on 1 week off

its along time between visits

i swear last time he was here Rylan didnt even know who he was at first which makes it hard for him.

but he soon gets to know him again within a few days then hes gone again

i feel really sorry for Rylan :(

:(:crying::crying: That is what I was afraid of..... Thanks for your imput MFA. Appreciate it and hugs to your little man!

[M~T~J~M]

Well we spoke about it, and he said he would look for one which is 1 week on 1 week off!!!!

Which I am ok with , sort of, but is there anyone on here that has a partner who works in the mines who can tell me how they deal, what its like, benefits, negatives etc.....

:wave: My Dh works interstate in a mine. He works 7 days on, 7 days off. He flys home (at our expense) each 7 days, then he can spend the next 7 days with our 3 children. At the beginning it was hard, really hard. The children's behaviour changed terribly, and it was hard on me. He was working away for up to 6 weeks at a time when he first started though. I was very lonely, especially at night, and I often got scared and paranoid at every noise I heard....
He has been working away for 9 months or so, and has been coming home more frequently for the past 4 - 5 months.
Each time he goes back, he gets very anxious about leaving us, but once he's there, he settles down and gets into the job, iykwim. The boys are a little unsettled for the first night, then we all count down the days until he's home again. This seems to work well for us. I also have the boys in a pretty good routine for when he's not here, and this has proven to be really important in keeping them in line, lol!
It seems like a long time for the children to be without their Dad, but if you think about it, when your DP is home, he is going to be spending more time with your DS and yourself than what he was before when he was there with you...well I know my DH does. (He used to work 12 - 16 hour days, 6 days a week, and only had Sundays to spend with the children). And when my Dh takes holidays, he only has to take a week, and it turns into 3 as he has the 7 days on, 7 days off roster - He has actually just gone back after being home with us for 3 weeks over Christmas.
Money wise....well that's up to you if you think it's going to benefit your family, and if you can deal with everything that comes with it, iykwim? Your DP could always give it a go...he doesn't have to stay there if it doesn't work well with your family.
Negatives: The children's behaviour at times is really testing! This is hard, and I won't lie, lol! Also, I'm currently expecting no.4, and have had terrible nausea for most of the pregnancy so far. Not having another pair of hands to help out around the place whilst feeling like :barf: has been really hard. And being so tired and still having to soldier on, cos I'm the only one here! We've been pretty lucky that he hasn't missed out on too much re: the children. Our little one, 14 months, held off starting to walk properly until DH came home, so that was lovely for him to see, but on the other hand, DH missed our 12 week scan for this bub due to being away at work. There are always going to be many pros and cons with each job I think.

Our plan is, that Dh works at the mine for a couple of years to get us ahead and at a place (financially) that we are happy with.

Good luck with making the decision. I know it was a hard one to make for us, and we still sometimes question what he is doing as being right. It's working at the moment, and we are going to go with it for as long as it's good!!

[subaruforestermum]

Thanks M,T&J's mum, really insightful and helpful! Thanks a lot!

You are right, as DF is an air con tech, so he works most weeks 6 days a week, 12 hours a day or longer, which was a valid point he brought up, which was a huge reason he thought it would be a good idea.

And he didnt even get a holiday this year over christmas. He only got Christmas day, boxing day and new years day off! So that would be beneficial!

So in the end, he would be spending more time with DS than he is now!

[Madelynes mum]

My DH also works away and has done so since our DD was 7 months. Started out as 2/1 and for last 6 mths has been 4/1, this has been a real challenge on our relationship.
Maddi now understands that her Daddy will be back soon, we have talked it thru with her many times and DH has a talk with her before he leaves, just by themselves.
For us, he has his expectations from me, which many a time are unreasonable and I can resent him for that and for a long time I couldn't contact him even if I wanted to, so that was hard.
The fact that u are by yourself a lot and can't do what u would normally be able to do when they are here..eg .go to a pilates class at 6pm!! is frustrating. But like u said, when he did work here we saw little of each other anyway, both worked FT and only had Sundays together. Can be a real catch 22.
A shorter time away is a better solution..

[bubs_and_us]

my DH works in the mines 2 and 1.... it works perfectly for us.

i wont lie, it was damn hard at first, and it still is (for certain things)... but DS and i are now in a routine that works like clockwork for us. DH just 'fits in' when he gets home.

DH now spends more time with DS than when he was working down here (6 or 7 days a week, leaving before DS woke up and getting home about 2 hours before he went to bed). and we spend more quality time together.

the money is great. the holidays and sick pay are great. the super is great.

its the working away bit that sucks. i get lonely. very lonely. but we talk on the phone each night. and i really believe its bought us closer together. we dont take each other for granted anymore. we're as happy as we've ever been. (and he's been working away for 1 year)

the look on DS's face when he sees his dad walking into the airport terminal is just priceless. it makes us really believe that DS isnt missing out on anything. if you could just see his face, and then the look on DH's face when he sees us. its precious. he's glad to see us (as opposed to 'hey luv how was your day [as he reaches for the remote control]) - he really is glad to see us!

DH gets to spend a whole week with DS. we can go away for a few days, go to the beach, visit friends, picnics etc. all this stuff as a family.

oh, and we've got a rule....

if him working away starts to affect our marriage or our family, he will leave his job and come home. immediately.

we both made this perfectly clear at the beginning. and we continue to communicate well. its just not worth losing family over

anyway, i've :ecomcity: enough! if you've got any other questions, or just want to talk, pm me

[sunshine_kat_86]

im in the same posistion atm. thow im the one pushing for dh to do the mines. its the only way im going to get my own house, how is a 21 yr suppose to get ahead these days. house are so pricey. i didnt really consider the impact it may have on my little girl, all i consideered was the m,oney and the time us adults would be away from each other. thow now thiunking the impact it will have on DD. i still think maybe a yr to 2 yrs on the mind wont be disastress, we could get through it, as i need some money behind us. thats my situation

[EsSjAy]

Hi Hun....

From the time i was born to the age of 15 my dad was a merchant seaman... He would be away for weeks on end then return to stay just as long.... The longest was 4 months away and the longest he was home was 12 months....
I remember well dreading, hating the time when I saw the taxi come to take dad. I would cry and my mum would just hold me with what must have been hard for her with 2 young kiddies (my brother 6 years older than me) Even though my dad did work away so much i have an amazing relationship with him..... He's my everything.....
I don't feel for one second that his 'job' had any effect on me... When he was home he made up for all of the time he was away but he was still the good ole "Don't you let me catch you doing that or it'll put you over my knee" dad....
I am also very proud of my mother and how she raised my brother and myself when dad was away.... She was everything a great mother was and still is.... If she was suffering she never showed us... Talks i have had with her were more to the point that 'you get use to it and you condition to it and she said we did as children as well...
She doesn't regret the job dad did and feels very fortunate for the life she has had... And so do i...
So after all of that babble.... I hope that this helps with what you are seeking...

All the best x ♥

[tobmac]

i want my hubby to go to the mines and work but he doesnt want to move but the mines i wasnt is where you come home after every shift not be out of town etc as i feel if we are going to move away from family then i will need his help aswell, cant he find a mine at emerald or rockhampton as they are the big ones for coming home after every shift................send your hubbies vibe this way to my dh please..............but i wouldnt cope or agree to a job if i new it was 6 on 6 off

[3lovablebratz]

My hubby works in the mines as well. We have 3 children. He works an 8 days on 6 days off. Much more do-able than some other shifts.

Like all the other replies here, it has both positives and negatives. The most important thing is COMMUNICATION. Both while he is away (he calls every night) and while he is back. I tell him if I'm lonely, I tell him about what the kids did that day, I keep him informed and he tells me about his day. We also talk a lot about our relationship. Like others have said in this thread, if the job affects our marriage, the job goes.

Some days it's fine, love my 'freedom'. Some days I just want him here to help. It's always going to be that way. But at the end of each fortnight when we see our bank account growing, we realise it's achieving something (we want to buy a house - stability for all of us). I have also never seen my hubby happier in a job. He was miserable for a couple of years, so him being happy is great.

Find another mum that is in the same situation, at least then you can talk to someone about what you're going through. Also if you need help or it's an emergency, they'll be there as they understand completely what you are going through.

My kids cope really well. Yes they miss Dad, and yes they swamp him when he gets home (but hey they all love the group hug!). But he gets to spend 6 quality days with all of us. And like so many other fathers, he really only spent 2 hours a day with them if he was lucky. I just get the kids to do paintings for daddy, make gifts for him, they also speak to him on the phone every night. We have a calendar with the days marked for when daddy is home, and the get to cross of the days. Surprisingly, the younger ones have learned to speak well on the phone and expand their conversation skills, as well as counting and hopefully a little bit about patience!

So as your partner has marketable skills, then choose the shifts that suit your life, not what pays the most. You'll find it's probably not really that different over a whole year. It is very important especially as you seem to perhaps need to continue working on your relationship (as we all do). Because if anything will break up a relationship, the mines will do it. Having said that, it can also make you appreciate each other more. You can both breathe a little while he is away, then concentrate on each other knowing it's only 'x' days until he's off again.

We've been doing this for 6 months (we move from Victoria and left all extended family behind) and have not regretted it at all. You will know after the first 2 or 3 shifts whether you can both deal with it, but it will take a little while to get a rhythm going. Well worth it if you can make it work.

Hope that helps in a small way. Good luck.:)

[sloaney]

Most of the men in my husband's family work FIFO, although he doesn't himself (swore he never would).

There are pluses and minuses depending on your family dynamic.
Working 4 on and 1 off with a young family is a great way to have a marriage breakdown imo (sorry if that sounds blunt). But my FIL does 2 on and 2 off and has done for 30 years and frankly I think this is one of the reasons my IL's marriage works - they are both intense people who need space from each other.

It's good money in WA and if you have a good man then you have a very handy house-husband when they are off work. If not so helpful or sympathetic to your part-time single-mum status then it might not bode well for your future - you both need to be good communicators and understanding of the other's sense of physical exhaustion at times.

[boysandme]

Hi there. I have 2 boys one 3 and a bit and one who is nearly 1. My fiance has worked away on various rosters for the past 7 years now. In the beginning it was difficult because i missed him so much and he was on 4 and 1 rosters for awhile. He's been on 3wks and 3wks now for about 18 months which to be honest has huge beneifits IF partner is helpful understanding when he is home. Gets that u need time out as well as quality time just with him and also as a family. I think that works well for us. 'My" time allows him to have one on one with the kids, we go camping, the money is much better than local chef rate etc. You must have trust in your relationship and your ability to parent on your own. esp if u don't have access to close family/caregivers/daycare. Given all this I think 3 weeks at home plus annual leave is great...but boy does it get lonely when your kids are down asleep at 7pm...
The boys have their ups and downs and i'm sure when they can actually express their feelings more precisely we will hear about it, but then I guess they will be old enough to understand the 'why's'.
Good luck with it all.
Bec

[2s'nuff]

...but boy does it get lonely when your kids are down asleep at 7pm...

Bec
That's where your BubHub friends step in. There's always someone to chat to once the kids have gone to bed:yes:.

[Veruca Salt]

Have you considered both of you moving to live in a mining town? If you have a plan for what you want to achieve and in what time frame then maybe you'll find you can do it for a short period of time.

I've grown up in a mining town, my parents came here for two years 28 years ago. My mum was really not keen on packing up us kids and moving to a remote location (and hated it for the first six months) but now they love it here. As kids we've had a fantastic childhood, it's very safe here and we could go and play with very little supervision. The mining company gives airfares for the whole family to go on holidays (and so I've travelled a lot more than most of my relatives who live 'in the real world'), they supply housing and pay for our electricity and water (I'd never even seen a water or electricity bill until I bought my own house a few years ago!).

The money is good (which is why DH and I both work at the mine/refinery now) and the average roster is 4 days on 4 days off. This particular mine is right on the coast in a tropical location, beautiful beaches and unspoilt tropical islands. We're spoilt for camping and fishing. Most people are living here away from their families and so you develop a very supportive group of close friends.

The downsides are, it's expensive to live here, it's hard to get quality fruit and veg, shopping is almost non-existant (YAY for the internet and EBay!) and it can be pretty boring for teenages.

If it's the mines your DP wants to work, then why not have a look at ones with towns you may not mind living in?

[Kazamataz]

Anyone in this position I need to know how it is!

DP has just informed me that when we move and settle in, he wants to go work in the mines, as he will get double what he is on now, and we can continue to live off what we are now, and put the extra straight into the house!

Now it all seems like a good idea in theory, getting out of debt sooner, etc, but I cant help but think of the effect it will have on DS. He will be 3 this year, and alreayd misses his daddy, when DP is just working 12 hour days, how is he going to cope not seeing him for 6 weeks, then seeing him for 6 weeks, only to not see him again for 6 weeks, etc.

How do your kids cope, how do you cope? Any info appreciated, personal experience or second hand experience appreciated. I'm in 2 minds about it! Is the money really worth missing out on his child's life, they are only young once, but then where do we draw the line, as he will have firsts all through his life!

All too much for me going on at the moment and now this!:confused:

I personally think 6 and 6 is way too long. Try for a shorter roster, Asher's dad and Myself wouldn't be happy if he was doing more than 2 and 1. 2 weeks is long enough 6 would just be a nightmare.

[subaruforestermum]

Have you considered both of you moving to live in a mining town? If you have a plan for what you want to achieve and in what time frame then maybe you'll find you can do it for a short period of time.

I've grown up in a mining town, my parents came here for two years 28 years ago. My mum was really not keen on packing up us kids and moving to a remote location (and hated it for the first six months) but now they love it here. As kids we've had a fantastic childhood, it's very safe here and we could go and play with very little supervision. The mining company gives airfares for the whole family to go on holidays (and so I've travelled a lot more than most of my relatives who live 'in the real world'), they supply housing and pay for our electricity and water (I'd never even seen a water or electricity bill until I bought my own house a few years ago!).

The money is good (which is why DH and I both work at the mine/refinery now) and the average roster is 4 days on 4 days off. This particular mine is right on the coast in a tropical location, beautiful beaches and unspoilt tropical islands. We're spoilt for camping and fishing. Most people are living here away from their families and so you develop a very supportive group of close friends.

The downsides are, it's expensive to live here, it's hard to get quality fruit and veg, shopping is almost non-existant (YAY for the internet and EBay!) and it can be pretty boring for teenages.

If it's the mines your DP wants to work, then why not have a look at ones with towns you may not mind living in?

No I would never consider moving to a mining town. DF doesnt want to do this line of work for a long time, and we have just bought a house in January. He wants to do it for a few years, then come back and either start his own business or head straight into another 'normal' job.

Plans are put on hold at the moment though, as he lost his job before applying for the mines, and as the process is so long had to get another job. And I dont think he could leave that soon, as it's a bit unprofessional. But we'll see where life takes us and throws at us along the way.

I grew accustom to him going away to work and had prepared myself. Looks like I'll just have to wait a while longer and the prepare myself again!

Thanks for all the advice, and I may need it again at some point as this idea isn't leaving him.

[Mib]

My husband works in the mines. He has had 3 jobs since we have been together 4 days on / 4 days off. He also had 5 days 5 night 5 off and has recently started M -Thu . This is the 1st time in our relationship in which we have lived apart.
We always said that we wouldn't live apart , but his roster is great , and the money is phenominal.
Without being critical , i think that if you expect your husband to work in the mines , and work b!oody hard , you have to be willing to make some sacrafices.
I gave up my career to follow my husband. I have lived in a major minning town and aslo a minning town with 200 peope !
Mining towns are not the most exciting place on earth , but the capaciy to earn money is there.
If you live in town you are offered more overtime , ect. In our 1st year of marriage , my husband made more money in overtime alone that most people make in a year. He worked a extra shift every 2nd week. No biggie , but amazing in terms of money.

The other aspect is that children adapt , the can learn to live without there Dad being there every day . But lots and lots of marriages fail ! I have personally seen quite a few marriages fail , i continue to see marriages on the rocks.
It is hard learning to live without your better half.

Just my 5cents worth

[subaruforestermum]

Without being critical , i think that if you expect your husband to work in the mines , and work b!oody hard , you have to be willing to make some sacrafices.
I gave up my career to follow my husband. I have lived in a major minning town and aslo a minning town with 200 peope !
Mining towns are not the most exciting place on earth , but the capaciy to earn money is there.
If you live in town you are offered more overtime , ect. In our 1st year of marriage , my husband made more money in overtime alone that most people make in a year. He worked a extra shift every 2nd week. No biggie , but amazing in terms of money.

I am not expecting him to work in the mines, it was his descision and his idea. I had no idea he was thinking about it until AFTER we just bought our first house.

I have made many sacrifices by moving out to where we live now. Moved away from my family, and everything I knew to move where he wanted to move. I am not moving again to a mining town. Sorry.

If he wants to do overtime while there, that's fine, it wouldnt be much different to him doing over time now, as he is hardly ever home anyway. But we bought our first house in January we have lived in it for 3 months I'm not selling it to move further away.

I appreciate your imput about everything else, but it is not something I expect from DF and if he doesnt like it, then he doesnt have to keep doing it. And there are many things I have sacrificed for him, I will not sacrifice my new home.

[Mib]

I think that you may have taken my words a little out of context . I was not meaning to be rude or nasty. I don't expect my husabnd to work in the mines either , he made a life and career choice.

I think in the end it comes down to a personal choice that you both have to conisder.

I suppose we are all so very different. I would rather live in a small mine house in a remote minning town but be togther than live in my beautiful waterfront unit,because my husband being home more often is important to me.


If your husband decides to work away . i think that you need to set a few ground rules and expectations. How that both of you know where you stand.
If our house , my husband knows that when he comes home the house will be tidy , but i expect that he will still help out with the washing ect. That he is to take our son to Golf on Saturday mornings , how i get a bit of 'alone' time. That our son must stilll follow his bedtime routine even when daddy is home.
It seems so little and silly , but it really helps ensuring that there is some normailty to your lives.

I am not sure where you are located but there is lots of oppurtunties for Tradies in the mines and a lot of the rosters are negotiable. You need to decide what roster suits you and then keep applying for jobs at mines with that roster.
I have prevoiusly worked in mine recruitment , so if you need some links please just let me know .

Cheers ---> Ali

[Kazamataz]

The other aspect is that children adapt , the can learn to live without there Dad being there every day . But lots and lots of marriages fail ! I have personally seen quite a few marriages fail , i continue to see marriages on the rocks.
It is hard learning to live without your better half.


This is an excellent point alot of people hear all the hype about the mining boom and how there is big money to be made but at what cost?

We too have seen many relationships fail. People don't realize what its like on a mine site. The closest thing I can describe it to is high school, people get bored and sometimes the temptations are too great.

Esp when you come back home to your wife and all she does is whine and complain.

This life is not for all and you have to have a very strong relationship in order to survive it.

[Mib]

So very true......

My husband work with 3 girls , that i can only discribe as Mining Barbie. They are stunning , intelligent warm women. And they think the sun shines out of my husband. The live near him , work with him , eat with him. They spend more time with him than i do. And it is hard. But you have to be able to have 100% trust.

I go to the gym every morning and train beside members of a football team , they are hot , funny , fit men. I enjoy there company while at the gym .

It could be so easy for both of us to have an 'affair'. We don't see each other every night.

I am not implying that anyone on BH would have an affair , i am just saying some of the issues that arise.

[forbetoel]

I think that if kids have a great dad then they should have access to him everyday.

My friends engagement broke up with him away in the mines, and they had a pretty good relationship before.

Goodluck with your decision, but I don't think that any price can be put on the influence a good dad has over his children. I know I wouldn't want my DH gone even for one night a week. My boys really need him.:)

Oops...just realised I had already poted in here...sorry hunxoxo

[Mib]

I think that if kids have a great dad then they should have access to him everyday.



I suppose we are all different. We have one son , who is 2.5yo. By the time he is 4, his dad will be able to be a Full Time SAHD. And then we will be able to extend our family to our desired 4 kids. It is a small sacrafice in the grand scheme of things for us.
My son gets 3 full days with his dad every week. He gets 20 minutes of video chat every night.

There is lots of wonderful Dads out there that due to seperation and divorce only see there children on the weekend. And they are still great dads.

It is a hard decesion and one that is not to be taken lightly.

[forbetoel]

There is lots of wonderful Dads out there that due to seperation and divorce only see there children on the weekend. And they are still great dads.

.

Obviously, but that is not what I obviously meant. I was just saying that to me it is important for my DH to be available to my boys EVERYDAY...that is me. He is a very important role model to my boys, and I value what he contributes to the raising of my children more than anything.

I am sure a lot of weekend dads would be happier seeing their children everyday, but sometimes personal circumstances make it impossible. Working in the mines would be a decision that creates less time with your kids, so you really do need to think long and hard about that, as we are not talking about a seperated father here, we are talking about a father who lives with his child.

It was just my PERSONAL opinion for the OP to consider.

[Kazamataz]

Working in the mines would be a decision that creates less time with your kids

in actually fact if you sit down and add up all the hours available to spend with your children.
When you work in the mines or if you work back home.
Those who work away spend more time with their children and families then those who work closer to home.

In my case Jesse spends 10 hours more a fortnight with our son when he works away then if he worked in Perth.

In majority of cases people who work away spend far more time and more quality time with their children then people who see their children every night.

[forbetoel]

Kazamataz... i know what you are saying but, I was speaking for my situation, where my kids see their dad every day and then all weekend. For me I like the contact to be very regular, and so does my DH. I have a friend with an interstate truck driver and one day as he was leaving again, her 4 year old DS said "thanks for visiting dad" and that is not the enviroment I would want for my kids. My kids know that they will see their dad everyday, and I know everyone is in a different situation, but I am really commenting on my own, as for advice for the OP to think about.

My kids would spend 10 hours with my husband just during the weekdays alone, without the weekend, so in a fortnight, they would spend about 60 hours with their dad, not something I 'personally' would NOT give up.

I am not argueing, everyone is happy with different situations, but this thread is about the OP, and all I can do is give information based on my situation and my opinion, as everyone else has also done.:)

[Kazamataz]

Kazamataz... i know what you are saying but, I was speaking for my situation, where my kids see their dad every day and then all weekend. For me I like the contact to be very regular, and so does my DH. I have a friend with an interstate truck driver and one day as he was leaving again, her 4 year old DS said "thanks for visiting dad" and that is not the enviroment I would want for my kids. My kids know that they will see their dad everyday, and I know everyone is in a different situation, but I am really commenting on my own, as for advice for the OP to think about.

My kids would spend 10 hours with my husband just during the weekdays alone, without the weekend, so in a fortnight, they would spend about 60 hours with their dad, not something I 'personally' would NOT give up.

I am not argueing, everyone is happy with different situations, but this thread is about the OP, and all I can do is give information based on my situation and my opinion, as everyone else has also done.:)


I think you may have misunderstood my post.
When I sit down and do the math for MY personal situation.
If my bf was home and working here in perth he would spend 104 hours a fortnight with us as a family or ofcorse that factors in sleep times and when he is at work.

however with him working away he spends 114 hours in a fortnight with us as a family.

This is because he spends a whole week with us.

and in many many cases if you sit down and do the math people who work away spend more time and more QUALITY time with their children and families.

This is because they can devote a whole week to them.

I realize you were talking about your own personal situation, but I am just showing you that in general it is wrong to think people who work away are some how neglecting their children or their families.

And if you are so against it why are you even chatting in here?
Is this not a place for people who have partners who work away?

[proudmama]

Dear OP - i realise it has been a while since you first started this but i only just found you and here is my experience

my dh has been working away on a 1week on 1 week off roster for around 18mths now and in that time we had our ds - it is a struggle and i'm not going to say it gets easier but you do adapt for the times he is away and for the time he is there. dh hates that he is missing on ds growing sooo fast (he's now 9mths) but at the same time by the time dh comes home if ds has learnt something new it's still only new so dh can still watch him try and do something and watch how his son learns. on a good note we can do soooo much as a family when dh is home out of the weekend crowds and we take the time to appreciate the time we have together

Also with what dh makes i am able to be a SAHM so ds always has a parent about and isn't being raised by a daycare centre because i have to work in order for my family to survive in todays economy

And working in the mines doesn't have to be forever - it can just be a means to an end - in a few years time who knows maybe he'll have the experience to get a better paying job in town so he can be home every night - if your relationship can survive such a seperation then really you know it can survive almost anything adn you'll have a husband you can appreciate and who appreciates you back

[mythreelittlemonkeys]

I think you may have misunderstood my post.
When I sit down and do the math for MY personal situation.
If my bf was home and working here in perth he would spend 104 hours a fortnight with us as a family or ofcorse that factors in sleep times and when he is at work.

however with him working away he spends 114 hours in a fortnight with us as a family.

This is because he spends a whole week with us.

and in many many cases if you sit down and do the math people who work away spend more time and more QUALITY time with their children and families.

This is because they can devote a whole week to them.

I realize you were talking about your own personal situation, but I am just showing you that in general it is wrong to think people who work away are some how neglecting their children or their families.

And if you are so against it why are you even chatting in here?
Is this not a place for people who have partners who work away?

:iagree: I know I miss sometimes the evening time with my DH but when he is working in Perth we see less of him then when he away...definitely Matilda sees less of him! as she goes to bed as he gets home...my DH definitely having more quality time with DD & DS then he did with my stepkids when he worked local to them from 7-5pm 5 or 6 days a week when with his ex...
The less stress from being more financially secure also helps! and means we can do more for the kids.
This is our area on BH to talk to other FIFO parents for support and companionship when our partners away, not really for people to tell us we making bad decisions for our children...:no:

[boysandme]

Oh yes - and if you get equal time like my dp (on a rig though) he's generally at home full-time for at least 7 months of the year! Yay!

[forbetoel]

And if you are so against it why are you even chatting in here?
Is this not a place for people who have partners who work away?



The OP isn't someone with a partner away working, and she was after people opinions on her husband working away.

I am not against it, I am not anything.
I was just giving her something else to consider, I don't know what is right for her family, that is up to her. She has to weigh up the pro's and con's herself.

And no I don't think it is a bad decison to work in the mines, I am sure it works out great for a lot of families.

The OP asked for any information, even second hand.
I will post where I want to thankyou very much.:rolleyes:

Goodluck to the OP with whatever you decide.

[M O P]

I think the OP has enough to consider here-
thank you to everyone for your thoughts :)