View Full Version : Did anyone visit you while you were in hosp????
Just wondering after reading something earlier, about how many of us had no one to visit us at hosp or at home after we had our bubs? and who had a ton of visitors
I for one didn't have many visitors at all, I was in hosp for 6 days, during thoes 6 days I had mil and bil visit once for about half a hour, my doula and that was it, even DH didn't really come for a visit, he would maybe come to the hosp for 30mins after work, sometimes less, I felt so lonely :(
so i'm just wonding if i'm the only nigel nobody out there, or is it normal for people not to visit?
poll comming
lol i was just gonna say i visited you! :D hehe
i had a few visitors, too many actually, i just wanted to sleep! lol
lol i was just gonna say i visited you! :D hehe
i had a few visitors, too many actually, i just wanted to sleep! lol
hehe I mentioned you, couldn't forget the only one that was at Alexis's birth lol
My parents visited (mum was there for the birth and dad came very soon after) and I had two friends visit :)
It was perfect because not too many people came, but I still had a few friends check in.
mum_inlove
05-01-2008, 20:06
With ds, I had lots of visitors, it was nice at first, but then it got really overwhelming (sp?). I was still in pain from the c/s, in a share ward with 4 other ladies, and sometimes I had up to 8 ppl all crammed up beside my bed. By night 2, I was sooo tired, I cried and the midwive had to tell my hubby to tell family and friends to limit the amount of ppl coming at the same time.
With dd, as we're in a new town, I didn't really know anybody, so had no visitors except dh, ds, my mom, and a couple of mums from the mother's group. I was in my own room, it was soooo much better, coz when there was no visitor, I got to have plenty of rest. I stayed for 4 days and didn't mind staying longer.:D
If I could choose, I'd definitely pick no visitors (not too many anyway) during the hospital stay!
MilkOnTap
05-01-2008, 20:07
I had one very unwanted visitor - arrived an hour after my c/sect. They didn't ask if they could come or let us know, I still had no feeling in my legs from the operation, and the nurse had just lifted up the sheet to clean me up downstairs. Not happy Jan!
But I had a couple of INVITED friends pop in a couple of days later which was much nicer =)
Aww... firstly :hugs: for you. Just because you didn't have many visitors doesn't mean you are a nobody. This was our first child so I think people were quite excited....we mainly had all of our visitors in hospital...as that is where we told them to go...lol.... last thing I wanted when getting home was to have lots of company...even then it wasn't a lot.
westerner
05-01-2008, 20:09
My mum came 4times (twice a day), my dad also came 1-2 times a day (he lives like 2 minutes from the hosp), my mil came once, my nanna and her partner came once (they drove 3 hrs round trip) and my brother came once. That was in a 2 day hosp stay..My sil and her kids stayed away as they were sick..
No friends came just family..
ETA - oops better not forget my DP.. he was there 2-3 times a day for anywhere from 30 mins - 2 hrs..
MoOaNdLiTtLePoPpEt
05-01-2008, 20:10
i was in hospital for 4 days before going into labour....as i had high BP and lots of fluid.
I had my DP, his mum and dad come in...and a friend...
then once bub was born i only had DP, MIL, FIL, SIL, BIL, 2 boys and 2 friends of mine and DP....that was kinda my time, i was happy seeing people when i got home :)...some people dropped flowers etc in tho to the midwives and gifts....
i wasn't to fussed on having people crowd in while trying to establish breastfeeding etc....for me like i said it was my time!!!
I had constant visitors every night for the 5 days i was in, especially the first day. Good thing I was still high on adrenaline because the following day I was exhausted!
mysonroger
05-01-2008, 20:13
i can't stand visitors coming to the hospy to see me after having a baby. i let my mum and DH come, but i didn't really want anyone else there. i put the word out not to come and see me, and nearly everyone respected that.
besides the fact that i was tired and trying to get rest, trying to get the breast feeding right and losing blood everytime i stood up......there was also the fact that no one stayed for just a quick visit. everyone just hung around and around, and i just wasn't comfortable with it. i would have enjoyed it if people came and were gone again in 10 mins, like the signs on the door suggested.
call me a grump, but i know i'm not alone in how i feel. i always say the visiting hours are for the visitors and not the patients.
declansmum
05-01-2008, 20:13
I was in hospital for 1week...in that time I had most of my family and friends that visited me.
I had:
Mum, two brothers, SIL (at the time) Dad, my best friend and bridesmaid, her partner, a school friend and her DF, Oh and the inlaws.
I was exhausted, all I wanted there was my mum and DH LOL!
I came home after 2 days and no one bar mum and MIL came near me :( I thought I must have smelled bad :p
cheekypossum
05-01-2008, 20:21
My DH pratically lived there with me :hugs:
I had lots of visitors from my mum, inlaws, friends, everyone could not wait to meet our precious girl :thumbsup:
I asked for no visitors in hospy. I didn't know what I was going to be in for and almost everyone respected that. I ended up having DH, mum, dad, brother, grandad & his wife & my best friend and her DF. But no-one stayed particularly long(except for DH who just about lived there:p).
Next time though I'll have all the visitors in and out while in hospy - they tend not to stay as long:p
Every tom d*ck and harry came to visit me, boy was it intense. XDP's brother who threatened my mum in the beginning of our realationship turned up at the same time as here, mum and her fiance turning up at the same time as dad and his fiance.... XDP turning up at the same time as my best friend who hated him.
That is really hard when you are trying to learn how to BF and people keep walking in on you.
Next time no one is coming to see us till we are comfortable and at home.
I had Cobes on Tuesday just after visiting hours (ZING) on Wednesday I had heaps of people visit, Thursday I had a slow trickle of people and Friday, when I was leaving, one person came up.. she was in my anti-natal class and notcied I hadn't been on MSN for a few days so she took a chance and came up to the ward after an appointment hehe.
Visitors at the hospital didn't bug me (except when they were all there at once on Wednesday) it was the people who just assume that you can turn up, unannounced, at a new mother's house in the middle of the day in the weeks following. ergh.
hehe I mentioned you, couldn't forget the only one that was at Alexis's birth lol
hehe well that is true ;)
looks like I am just about the only nigel nobody then :crying:
I would've liked it if at least a few people came to visit, its so lonely up there when bubs was in SCN, me sitting there bored watching everyone elses's visitors come and go all day and all night
even once I went home, only 2 people came to visit bubs in hosp, DH only went up there twice, was lonely then too, watching others hubbies and visitors come and go
count me in as visiting you too...once ds2 was better.
i had a steady stream of visitors more so with ds1. it was ok but i didnt need the visitors as i chatted to the lovely room mates i had any way.
i know wat you mean though. i was in hospital for nearly a week after dp and i had been together for about a year,. he only visited for half an hour a day while the lady opposite me ,her husband sat by her bed side all day. made me feel less loved iykwim
forbetoel
05-01-2008, 21:02
I get so many visitors at hospital that the midwives gave me a double room to myself.
I have given birth in a gorgeous smallish hospital that when you go back to deliver again, they not only remember you, but remember how many visitors you even had.
While it is also tiring to get so many visitors in hospital, it is nice to have the bulk over and done with.
count me in as visiting you too...once ds2 was better.
i had a steady stream of visitors more so with ds1. it was ok but i didnt need the visitors as i chatted to the lovely room mates i had any way.
i know wat you mean though. i was in hospital for nearly a week after dp and i had been together for about a year,. he only visited for half an hour a day while the lady opposite me ,her husband sat by her bed side all day. made me feel less loved iykwim
you were one of the 2 that visited bubs that I mentioned :yes: so I didnt' forget you
looks like I am just about the only nigel nobody then :crying:
I would've liked it if at least a few people came to visit, its so lonely up there when bubs was in SCN, me sitting there bored watching everyone elses's visitors come and go all day and all night
even once I went home, only 2 people came to visit bubs in hosp, DH only went up there twice, was lonely then too, watching others hubbies and visitors come and go
Aw hun :hugs: I would have come and visited you, but I didn't want to tread on ya toes and didn't want to over step the mark, and didn't know if you wanted the time with the family before having visitors. If I knew that you were up there by yourself, I would have come up and seen you! :hugs:
You'll have to have another one, so I can come and visit you!! :sunshine:
I'll make up for it, by coming and see you at home and catching up at least once a week :thumbsup:
mysonroger
05-01-2008, 21:20
Every tom d*ck and harry came to visit me, boy was it intense. XDP's brother who threatened my mum in the beginning of our realationship turned up at the same time as here, mum and her fiance turning up at the same time as dad and his fiance.... XDP turning up at the same time as my best friend who hated him.
.
OMG - :laughing:. that is hilarious. that could be a scene in a movie.
OMG - :laughing:. that is hilarious. that could be a scene in a movie.
You should have felt the tension in the air!
mysonroger
05-01-2008, 21:27
You should have felt the tension in the air!
and with you in the middle of it all....you poor thing.
and with you in the middle of it all....you poor thing.
Yeah with engorged boobs leaking through my top! And a screaming hungry baby.
Ahh never again I tell ya!
mysonroger
05-01-2008, 21:38
i still had my catheta (spelling ??) in and my bag hanging off the bed, full of urine, when my visitors were coming in. and then DS had a fever - he was my first so i didn't know how to deal with it, the room was really hot in the afternoon sun and at one point there was about 10 people in the room and DH commented later i looked like a scared rabbit.
if i end up having my next baby in brisbane, i have no family here , so i will be happy not to go through all that again.
sweetsugardumplin'
05-01-2008, 21:50
Just my DH, DS and MIL. I left the birth centre nine hours after DD was born.
As for being Nigel nobody or Nigel no friends as we like to call each other - it's the quality of the visitor, not the quantity of visitors.
With my DS I was actually overwhelmed by the number of people visiting, I felt like I had to perform the loving mother act, which was very hard after a seventeen hour labour, a third degree tear, engorged boobs and leaking blood everytime I moved.
So perhaps, less is more :confused:
Natsmummy
05-01-2008, 21:55
I was in hospital for almost 4 weeks before DS was induced due to very high BP and severe fluid retention which then developed into pre-eclampsia. I had heaps of visitors during that time which I really appreciated.
However, I also had heaps of visitors once DS was born - loads of people crowding into the room at every visiting hour and although people were there because they cared and wanted to be nice, I wish they just would have left us alone to be honest. I found it very stressful, as DS kept getting woken up and I was having trouble establishing breastfeeding as it was.
SorenLorensen
05-01-2008, 22:09
i was only there for 3 full days and i had heaps.
BUT
it could have been becuase of a number of reasons.
i had DD on a friday so everyone was available to see me over the weekend.
i was the first of my friends to have a baby
DD was the first niece and grand daughter on my side.
she was the first grand child on DPs side.
and with DPs friends there was either a big gap between her birth and the last bub that came along (i think with his circle of friends the next child above DD is 4 years older then her), were expecting or TTC, so all the women were clucky
mum2peanut
05-01-2008, 22:13
I had heaps, but I loved having them all visit. I was in for 6nights, so they sort of spread themselves throughout, obvioulsy with family and close friends visiting several times. Personally I prefer the hosp visits because if they come when you go home, you have to provide for the, drinks etc. Whereas in hosp you lie in a bed in your PJs, and make the most of it.
For Bailey I had tonnes of visitors but with Jordy there wasnt as many, but I put it down to the fact that the visiting hours at the Gold Coast hospital are crappy...
I had my parents visit on the day of the birth and the other days I was there and my close friends come visit the night of Jordans arrival!
To my annoyance we were bombarded with visitors on the Sunday she was born on the Saturday I think people wanted to come before Monday the thing was I was in ICU I actually got transfered to the ward when we had visitors. I was annoyed for several reasons 1 I was drugged to the eyeballs 2) I looked horrendous lol
But I stayed 9 days and DH came every day 6-10pm and my MIL came a few days and tidied up my things and flowers and she also helped when we got home.
This time having hopefully a homebirth and I don't mind people coming at all I shall be glad of anyone coming to visit!
Ana Gram
05-01-2008, 23:24
I only had my Mum and Dad visit but I had a no visitors policy.
our little treasures
05-01-2008, 23:32
Everyone came for each child but a couple of brothers, one I don't mind as he lost his daughter and hates hospitals but I was still hurt as it's the 3rd baby he hasn't seen!! What hurt me is when I was in hospital for HG for a week noone came in but my SIL:( When your in hosi your bored and lonely and all you want is visitors. To not have any is depressing!!
My 3rd bubba I left the hosi after a day and everyone kept calling from the hosi telling me they were there and I wasn't:laughing:
sockstealingpoltergeist
05-01-2008, 23:43
I wasn't sure how i would feel the day my bub was born as I was having a c section and didn't know if I'd be up to it. Everyone came up any way and by everyone I mean 25 people in one day. I wasn't to bad though i was a little woozy because of the morphine I was itchy every where - it felt so bad they gave me some drugs and then I felt sleepy, still itchy though.
Then over the following 5 days I had everyone visit at least once more plus some extras- I didn't mind though- I liked having visitors. I just don't like the ones who can't take the hint when you are going to BF -like my FIL who just hung around every day and we had to be blunt with him.
What hurt me is when I was in hospital for HG for a week noone came in but my SIL:( When your in hosi your bored and lonely and all you want is visitors. To not have any is depressing!!
Thats how I felt, and watching everyone else with their visitors and having their baby beside then just made me feel worse :yes:
:crying:Sorry Jo Jo you where sad :hugs:
You know I would have come to keep you company but I did not think it would be a very wise decision with my tonsillitis & DD's chest infection:thumbsdown:I did call you a bit though.
To answer your question :yes: I had a lot of visitors & the nurses where getting cross & banned them so I could rest....they all just wanted to see the "big baby" :D I even had other patients visitors ask to come in a see her :mad:
:crying:Sorry Jo Jo you where sad :hugs:
You know I would have come to keep you company but I did not think it would be a very wise decision with my tonsillitis & DD's chest infection:thumbsdown:I did call you a bit though.
Yeah you did call me quite a bit, even while I was in labour if I recall lol, I know ya would've come visit me chick, just was a sucky time for you to get sick :yes:
Aww Jo, I wanted to come and visit you, but I didnt think I should with Alexis being early :o... I can completely sympathise though.. I only had dh when my mum bothered to bring him up, and I was in for a week before hand.. I was well and truely lonely by the end of it :( :hugs:
reAllytee
06-01-2008, 01:14
With Boof besides DP who was there all day everyday i only had my aunty come back in after having a rest from the birth herself lol. She brought my cousin & his wife who i was more than happy to see & they only stayed a little while cause i was so tired etc. I only stayed 3days in the middle of the week plus being a fare way from everyone i expected it !
With Squeak i only stayed the one day & nite so again wasnt expecting anyone besides my mum & sister. My mum & sister come in the day after he was born bringing Boof with them as he stayed with them. DP only came in that afternoon around 3pm cause he needed sleep cause Squeak was born at 2.11am. Then the following day was just me waiting around for a few hours to get discharged then tell my sister to come get me lol cause DP had to work ! So that was a rather boring time for me but i wasnt worried cause it was sorta nice not being bombarded with people.
MordecaiAliVanAllenO'Shea
06-01-2008, 08:29
I had wayyyyy too many visitors but I think it was because I had DS on the Thursday before the Easter 4 day long weekend, and also a lot of family and friends were really curious about how DS would look with the mix between DH and I.
The Thursday night I had so many visitors even with everyone standing not everyone could fit in the room and some had to wait outside till others left and made room for them to sqish in. It was incredibly overwhelming. I had a heap of stitches and had an icepack in my pants and was bleeding a lot so I didnt get up from the bed, just sat there in the middle of the masses looking stunned.
Dh was with me the whole time - he had planned to still work that week and take leave from when we came home from hospital, but he couldnt stay away. He would stay till around 11pm everynight, taking care of DS from after the visitors had left till then so I could get some sleep. He would sit in the armchair beside my bed holding DS and chatting to him quietly the whole time telling him all about the world and DS was just mesmerised - so beautiful.
I also found all the visitors hard with establishing bf - a couple came to visit us and DH met them at the door and said "she's just about to feed him, can you give her a minute till he's attached before you come in" and the woman said "sure" turned to her partner and said "you wait with Raja" and came straight in. She just assumed I wouldnt mind her because she's female...but I was so uncomfortable.
Cheekychops
06-01-2008, 08:41
I had one very unwanted visitor - arrived an hour after my c/sect. They didn't ask if they could come or let us know, I still had no feeling in my legs from the operation, and the nurse had just lifted up the sheet to clean me up downstairs. Not happy Jan!
But I had a couple of INVITED friends pop in a couple of days later which was much nicer =)
Oh pick me!!! FIL!!! Of all people... same thing... couldn't move legs due to epi and they lifted sheet up to reveal my bare downstairs bits!!! Absolutely mortified!!! We left it 2 days before telling him about DS2!!! :laughing:
Cheekychops
06-01-2008, 08:42
It's really hard to know whether someone wants visitors or not... I think it should be on the sms or email about whether they want peace for 24-48 hrs, or if they will let everyone know when they are up for visits, or if visitors will be welcome anytime etc.... cause everyone and every labour and every newborn is different...
Pink Kisses
06-01-2008, 08:45
I had too many visitors...friends, family (including extended) and even unwanted visitors. My first visitor was a work collegue (not friend). She arrived out of visiting hours, 2 hours after I returned to my room....before DH returned from home with fresh clothes and a bag that we forgot in the mad rush!! How rude! DH rang work to let them know the news, she left work and came running down to the hospital. Then held bubs for over an hour and wouldn't let family have a hold :( OK rant over!
I found it amazing the people who would call and visit even after leaving hospital - I'm talking about the ones you hadn't talked to in ages (and didn't know you was pregnant).
Loved showing bubs off to family and friends though! It's the people you love that you want around you at this time!
mama hen
06-01-2008, 13:57
With DD we had friends and family come to visit.
With DS only family as I had a rough time and too many visitors with DD and I wanted to rest as much as possible this time before going home.
Aww Jo, I wanted to come and visit you, but I didnt think I should with Alexis being early :o... I can completely sympathise though.. I only had dh when my mum bothered to bring him up, and I was in for a week before hand.. I was well and truely lonely by the end of it :( :hugs:
That would've sucked being in hosp for a week before, its so lonely up there ay, with nothing to do, no one to talk to
Milliner
06-01-2008, 14:08
When I had DS I had a heap of friends and family come and visit me.
With DD, I had my mum and dad and a bubhub friend come in. I didn't really want too many visitors second time around.
Lollie86
06-01-2008, 14:12
Only my immediate family came to visit every day and then a few close friends a relos spaced out throughout the week I was there.
BlessedWithBlue
06-01-2008, 17:22
With our first son i had everyone come and visit, i had a c/section so was in for a little longer and had a lot of family and friends come to the hospital and visit. With our second son only my cousin came to visit the day i had him but i went home pretty soon after i had him so no one else came to visit me until we were at home and then it was only my aunt and my grandparents. My mum decided to show up a few weeks after he was born.
With the twins i had a fair few family come in and visit, my mum, grandpa and dh's side of the family came to the hospital to visit. I was in the hospital a week before the twins were induced and everyone in the family came to see me at least once and dh came in every night after work.
WorkingClassMum
06-01-2008, 18:00
I had all and sundry with DS
Visitors with DD was a nightmare.
DD was 4 hours old. TOH had rang my Dad to tell them, but they said they couldn't get in that day. So Mum racxed in to see us.
Dad and stepmonster rolled up, Dad walked in as Mum picked up DD - he roared and stormed out. I jumped out of bed and ran (limped/hobbled and bled) down the hallway trying to stop them - they wouldn't stop. I stood there in tears until I fainted watching TOH and Dad nearly come to blows at the entrance. The step monster just kept on walking.
The hospital wouldn't allow any other vistors while we were there. We went home the next morning.
It was more than 3 months before they saw her.
BTW - DD is named for Dad's parents - because I loved my GP's.
~*clairesmum*~
06-01-2008, 18:22
well i went home the day after claire was born
i had mum, dad, kade, mel court, nath, jaime, bug, bug, granma, marc, jess, shandy,pete, jacob, nanny and thats it i think
none of dp's family could not come up cause the day that claire was born they left on a 2wk trip around aussie, but mil was in there when claire was born
some of them came and sore me when i was at home but my nana n he dh was at my house b4 i had even gotton home n they had some of there friends with me which wasnt good cause i dont really get on with my nana
I had a c/s with both my DDs, was in for 6 nights with the 1st and 5 for the 2nd.
In both instances, we only had immediate family come to visit on the day of birth (my parents, inlaws and BIL & his OH). I did have other friends and family visit during my hospital stay, which had both +ves and -ves. Our policy was for people to contact DH to arrange who was coming, and when, so as to keep in with visiting hours.
We did have one day with each birth where 8 people turned up around the same time and didnt' want to leave!! Luckily I had great midwives who turfed them out so I could bf, or rest!!
We had more visitors with DD1, which I hear is normal, fewer people visit for your 2nd baby. I had one day where I had no visitors and although i liked my time with DD2, it made for a long lonely day (I was in a private single room). I loved showing both my girls off and felt great after my births so I didnt mind visitors.
Second time round, DH was looking after DD1, so he did visit daily (taking presents home, so we didn't have too much to take with us on discharge) but didn't stay long as our toddler got bored very easily once the novelty of her new sister wore off!!
For us the benefit of having visitors was that
1. Once we got home, we had no visitors for the first few weeks, so we could settle in at home as a family and relax (as much as you can with a newborn!)
2. The visits are usually shorter in hospital and you dont' have to play host ie clean the house, serve food/drink and entertain people!!
The only negatives are that it can be overwhelming having people there if you are still recovering, trying to establish breastfeeding and wanting to rest (people who just turn up unannounced or at rest period) or privacy.
My experience was a positive one!
When DS 2 was born, the first day, only my husband and my older one came to vist, on my request. I wanted that my older one sees his brother first and we can spend some time together.
The next day, my PIL came, my MIL wanted to come eventhough I said, I'm gonna be out the next day and I actually didn't want anyone to come to the hosp.
But she's been so dissappointed and angry at me, that she couldn't see her grandson after he was born, that I hadn't had much choice..
But the rest of the inlaws (brothers and sisters in law) and a few friends came over once we were home.
With DS1 I had everyone come visit... including the old neighbours from before I moved house who I hadn't seen in 8mnths :eek: In the five days we were there I had about 10minutes peace lol.
With DS2 on the day he was born I had MIL, my mum, my dad, my bestie and DF and ds1.. The next day my cousin came with a friend and her bub.. Day 3 I had DF's best mate and his wife drop in.. DF popped in and out with ds1 randomly for the week.. We were there for 7days.
Amanda82
06-01-2008, 20:57
with my third bub i didnt get any visitors at all except for bub's dad,sister and brother and i still didnt have anyone visit when i got home no-one seen her til she was 8 days old and thats only because i took her to see everyone as it was xmas day,i was really upset that no-one came to visit it made me feel like no-one cared..........
ThisIsLiving
06-01-2008, 21:17
Yep I had heaps of visitors (family and friends) when both of my children were born. I must say that I found it a little overwhelming when I had DD with so many people in the room, but when I had DS I truly loved every minute of having my family and friends visit. I was feeling much more on top of things second time round though and the birth was also alot easier so was able to cope with the visitors alot more, and was even able to enjoy having visitors! :D
with my third bub i didnt get any visitors at all except for bub's dad,sister and brother and i still didnt have anyone visit when i got home no-one seen her til she was 8 days old and thats only because i took her to see everyone as it was xmas day,i was really upset that no-one came to visit it made me feel like no-one cared..........
aww :hugs::hugs::hugs: it does make you feel like no-one cares doesn't it :yes:
ThisIsLiving
06-01-2008, 21:21
It's really hard to know whether someone wants visitors or not... I think it should be on the sms or email about whether they want peace for 24-48 hrs, or if they will let everyone know when they are up for visits, or if visitors will be welcome anytime etc.... cause everyone and every labour and every newborn is different...
:iagree::iagree::iagree: This is an excellent idea.
♥Heaven Sent♥
06-01-2008, 21:33
With dd i had lots of visitors mil and fil came every day,df's aunty and sister came.Df's brother and sister in law came once.My aunty came my mum and df were there every day,Ben's mate came with his mrs,and i had a few friends come over.
With ds i didn't have many,i had mil & fil there every day.I had a few friends,df's brother and sister in law popped in and that was it.Mum and df were there everyday 2-3 times a day.I liked it better i was more relaxed not as exhausted got lots of sleep.
I had no one visit me in hospital except for DH and the other 3 kids. All my family lives around me as well and I was in hospital for 4 days after Bailey was born before I went home.
pookiesossige
06-01-2008, 22:08
I was in hospital for 5 days with DS and 4 days with DD.
I loved hospital! I wanted to get the visiting over and done with before I got home and had to clean up etc before people came around :yes:
Still, I only had about 1 visitor/family other then DH visit me each day. One afternoon I asked the nurses to advise any visitors to come back another time because I wanted to rest, I would have no hesitations doing that- or asking people to leave if I feel crowded and don't want to look like a doofus feeding, or if feeding is painful and I want to try and chill :)
Pretty much everyone came. Mostly I didn't mind cause it was pretty lonely by myself (bubba was in special care).
FunkyMonkey
07-01-2008, 02:34
DF visited every day but only in the afternoon as he had to go back to work, MIL & FIL visited 2 days after DS was born for about an hr my lil sis came that same evening (after visiting hrs) and stayed for a few hrs. Friends of ours visited the next evening (saturday) just after I'd had a blood patch done so I couldn't even get out of bed and of course my digestion decided to start working again so that was awful. Other than that I was alone (single room) bored and lonely and desperate to go home but wasn't allowed till the headache went away. Next time I'll hopefully have a proper babymoon with just DF, DS myself and new bub. With no visitors for a fortnight at least. ( and my partner home all the time!)
I was in hospital on and off for 4 weeks before and a week after. No visitors at all (other than DF)before DS arrived
MountainGirl
07-01-2008, 09:04
I had tooooo many visitors and hated it,.. I ended up making the midwives act as "door b!tch" and turn people away,.... sort of a 'leave your flowers at the door policy":laughing: yup,.. I was one cranky girl!!!
It's really hard to know whether someone wants visitors or not... I think it should be on the sms or email about whether they want peace for 24-48 hrs, or if they will let everyone know when they are up for visits, or if visitors will be welcome anytime etc.... cause everyone and every labour and every newborn is different...
That's how we did it. I talked about that with my husband, and that I don't want visitors the first day, so he called his parents and brothers to let them know and sms'd his friends.
I personally would have preferred not to have any visitors apart from DS 1 and DH but the inlaws were a different story :rolleyes:
Mischief
07-01-2008, 09:32
Way too many visited us. I was in hospital for nearly a week and I just wanted to be left alone!
People we hadnt seen for months dropped in un announced, family wouldnt leave us alone... Oh I wanted peace and quite to recover! LOL
ShadyCharacter
07-01-2008, 12:49
We had hardly any visitors (we were in the BC, so DP stayed with us), only immediate family, and even then some of our siblings didn't come because we asked everyone to hold off until we had been at home a week or so. I wanted to rest and bond with my baby, not have a zillion visitors wanting to play pass the parcel with him.
SassyDiva
11-01-2008, 01:05
Aww Jo, its terrible u felt this way.. it must be really hard being away from family when ur bringing a new bubs into the world, and considering everything you went thru to get your beautiful girl..... can only imagine how hard it would have been.
With Jordy had the whole side show thing happening, with Jackson being #2 I took control and had only mum, bro, the bloody inlaws and 2 close friends come into hospy... Evertime I drive past the hospital I have the best feeling remembering that special time...so just try to remember the good stuff Jo, like when u first held ur baby girl in ur arms... all the other stuff...is, just........details... doesnt make any difference to the big picture :hugs:
subaruforestermum
11-01-2008, 01:10
Mum worked at the hospital so I knew quite a few of the ladies she worked with, who ALL came down, even those I didnt know!
And one friend came down from Townsville to visit, my aunty came up from NSW, and a close friend (no longer) came to visit.
DF's parents and brothers came once (we were in hospital for 10 days).
Yeah I had visitors. Friends and family.
With my daughter it was a huge event - first amongst friends and first grandchild.
With the boys I had less visitors, but still had a fair few.
I was bored and lonely in hospital. I would have liked more visitors. I couldn't relax like I could at home. Even hubby would only come in for a few hours cos of the parking costs. (hmmm grrr)
grass is always greener
11-01-2008, 10:19
I had someone there all the time. I hated it, i wanted to rest, but couldnt as there was always someone to 'entertain'
I didn't want anyone to visit me in hosp but ended up ok'ing a few visits. As soon as Dh did the phone around some wanted to visit that night and I said 'no frigen way'. I was recovering from a c-sec, still had a catheter in, was itchy and sweaty and in no state to receive visitors! Bit of privacy please!! I was there 4 nights and had visitors for two of them, but would have been happy to have none (except Dh).
I was sharing with one other woman who had visitors all day , so I was constantly closing the curtains as they would peer into my cubicle out of curiosity when they were bored with thier visit - but didn't leave. Grrr.
And honestly, my cubicle was my bedroom. I found it a very personal (and small) space and didn't need people looking around, seeing my pads and underwear hanging out of my bag, being in my pj's and had no bra on etc. I looked terrible and just didn't need the attention.
I got sent flowers - that was lovely and sufficient acknowledgement.
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