What are first time preg mums afraid of?

[Lipsmacker01]

Just wondering what first time mums are afraid of here? I have an 8 month old girl and I remember getting asked this question during child education classes at hospital.

One of my answers were just not knowing what to expect...eg with the labour...contractions...the pain, complications etc.

When I look back now though...all that was over and done with so quickly!

I kind of wish I knew more about what was going to happen afterwards as a first time mum then what was going to happen at the hospital because I was so well looked after.

Dont want to put first time mums off or anything...but there are so many things that have changed for us!

Eg: I had no idea I would be sleep deprived for so long! DD1 who is 8 months has only slept through like 3 times in her first few months!

Now that Im breastfeeding, she refuses to drink out of a bottle (only done it once or twice) so now I cant leave my girl to be babysat with anyone!

Our love life has consequently suffered but I still get all the love and support from DH.

I put on 23kg during my pregnancy but lost it all (thank god)...just naturally breastfeeding...eating healthy.

Oh and the stress levels....Ive always thought of myself as being so patient...so I have had good nights and terrible nights...I take each day as it comes.

These are all some of the sacrifices and things that have happened in my life, all worth it but never in my life did I expect it to change my life so much!

[BelindaBB]

Hi, I can relate to your post sooo much. I had my DD almost 2 years ago and what a total life change it has been.

I too had the breast feeding issue and she was solely bf until 6 months when I persevered with the bottle (I actually got her onto a sippy cup to take her milk) and after weeks and weeks of refusing to offer breast at first she eventually took more and more bottle and once I had her taking the bottle I felt so much more free and back to normal. I gradually weaned her off that way.

I can also relate to the sleeping issue and the lack of sleep. You are very lucky to have a supporting partner.

I also agree about the birth, looking back that was the easy part.

:hugs: to you because I know how you are feeling but I also know that it will get better.

My DD is a delight now and so much so that I am now 26 weeks pg with No# 2. I know what I did wrong last time and I know what I need to do differently this time. Unfortunately we have to learn the hard way.

Best of luck and :hugs: again

Belinda

[Lipsmacker01]

Hi, I can relate to your post sooo much. I had my DD almost 2 years ago and what a total life change it has been.

I too had the breast feeding issue and she was solely bf until 6 months when I persevered with the bottle (I actually got her onto a sippy cup to take her milk) and after weeks and weeks of refusing to offer breast at first she eventually took more and more bottle and once I had her taking the bottle I felt so much more free and back to normal. I gradually weaned her off that way.

I can also relate to the sleeping issue and the lack of sleep. You are very lucky to have a supporting partner.

I also agree about the birth, looking back that was the easy part.

:hugs: to you because I know how you are feeling but I also know that it will get better.

My DD is a delight now and so much so that I am now 26 weeks pg with No# 2. I know what I did wrong last time and I know what I need to do differently this time. Unfortunately we have to learn the hard way.

Best of luck and :hugs: again

Belinda


Thanks Belinda :)

I thought it would be a good idea to have this thread for first time mums! and glad that you can relate!

[Kayangel]

As a first time mum to be i think i only have one fear that something terrible will happen to be my baby i hang out for kicks everyday just to no his fine.

My pregnancy is going fine no health issues no morning sickness nothing my only problem is myself im a worry wart.

I dont have any fears about labour yes i no it will hurt and it will be so painful the most panful thing eva but i am going in with a open mind and feel that i can do it i also havent set my goals to high i dont want to the epi but if i need it im going to have it.

My only fear about when bubs is here is that my ex will take him or get more of his fair share of seeing him.

The sleepless nights, poo nappies, crying, teething etc. doesnt bother me I have discovered my purpose in life.....

ITS TO BE A MUMMY and im sure i will love everything about motherhood.

[OopsieDaisy]

I actually wasn't afraid of anything, I am more afraid now, knowing just what I am in for.

[MJ410]

More my DF's lack of emotion than anything else. Lack of support... sounds like a terrible relationship putting it that way... long story short, my DF has Asperger's Syndrome, something this bub is now at a much greater risk of having :( (genetically speaking). I don't really know how well he's going to deal...
Also, somewhat scared of going into pre-term :S Probably accelerated by the fact I'm having Braxton-Hick's enough to wake me through the night, and I'm 26 weeks tomorrow :(

[SmileyBJ]

Im afraid of many things...

Afraid of having a casarean... afraid ...no actually terrified of DP's family!! Afraid that If I have a daughter I'll pass on my mental struggles...afraid of postnatel depression...

But I know whatever happens I will be okey... Im a strong women and no matter what this pregnancy throws at me I'll be okey... :)

[prideNJoy]

Well i have two bubs now, and i still remember what i feared first time round.

First off, putting on heaps of weight and getting stretchmarks, did/got them both. 22 kgs, lovely! Luckily stretchies have faded.

Anxious about the birth, more so of complications and then having to have a c-sec. And then probably tearing! omg did i stress over that.
And the fear of not wanting to have any drugs but thinking i would give in to the pain.

That was about as far as i stressed when pregnant, i didn't really think about the after part.

[tooshypanda]

I am not even preg yet and I am scared..

Scared of the following;
1. Labour complications
2. Tearing
3. Pain
4. Sleep loss
5. My own parental instincts..
6. Vomiting/Nausea
7. Money
8. Depression and meds
9. What to eat when preg - so confused!!

Well everything actually.. but I am a perfectionist and have control issues.. working on them slowly.. vomiting is my big thing - I have a phobia called emetephobia that prevents me from throwing up.. not too sure how I will go with MS.

[Helenau]

Great topic, i will be interested to see the different replies :)
Im TTC my first....and already I have days where I am a bundle of nerves. Not because Im not pg yet or the actual birth part. What worries me the most is the basic will I know how to be a good Mum, will I know what to do. My sister and I have struggled with anxiety most of our lives and it scares me that it might cause me extra problems or that I might pass on worries to my child........yeesh sometimes I feel like such a nutter!!

[Helenau]

Well everything actually.. but I am a perfectionist and have control issues.. working on them slowly..

Yup I better add this bit to my list too.......actually i think I better borrow your whole list..........

[MrsO]

Not much scares me about my pregnancy or upcoming birth...perhaps sustaining a 3rd or 4th degree tear :confused:...but I'm putting in place great strategies to avoid that.

What does scare me is how well I will bond with my daughter once she is here. It would be safe to say I haven't done a lot of bonding with her so far, and I'm worried I wont have those motherly instincts/love when she arrives :(

[Wannabe Mummy 2008]

Hi everyone:smiliedance:my husband and I have just decided last month to try and have a baby. we have only been married for six months but with me turning 29 this year we thought we'd better get started soon. I was a little disappointed when I got my period just after boxing day, I actually cried and didn't realise just how much I want to be a mum but having researched on the internet I didn't realise just how tricky it would be.

But having found this website I realise what better way to get advise and support from real women trying to achieve the same wish:flowerz:.

Look forward to chatting and listening to you all ... good luck too:wave:

[MissSookyLaLa]

goodluck with ttc wannabe mummy- there is lots of support here!

what am i scared of-

number one fear is not having the patience to deal with a crying baby
number two is tearing...

im not scared at all about the labour, pain etc...

i think i will survive the sleepless nights, nappies etc, but not sure how i will cope when baby is crying for no reason...

[iamLilysmummy]

As a first time mum to be i think i only have one fear that something terrible will happen to be my baby i hang out for kicks everyday just to no his fine. i didnt want to b pregnant and when i gave birth my baby got taken away,, lol
im so silly to think all that,, but today i hav a 5 months old girl lily who is everything to me,, :):)

[Lipsmacker01]

Hi everyone my husband and I have just decided last month to try and have a baby. we have only been married for six months but with me turning 29 this year we thought we'd better get started soon. I was a little disappointed when I got my period just after boxing day, I actually cried and didn't realise just how much I want to be a mum but having researched on the internet I didn't realise just how tricky it would be.

But having found this website I realise what better way to get advise and support from real women trying to achieve the same wish.

Look forward to chatting and listening to you all ... good luck too


OMG!! Sounds similar to what I went though!
Just before DH and I were TTC, I was stressed due to work and didnt have any periods for 2 weeks. At the same time...we had a near miss where our contraception almost failed...and I started to freak out. Anyways I ended up getting my period that time round and I was devastated because something in me was hoping I was pregnant?!

DH doesnt think its the reason but Im convinced that this was a turning point for me in my life...as I wasnt getting any younger myself (I was 28). Plus 6 months before as wed walk home from the gym together Id always nag him and bring up the topic and hed always be like...would be nice but when?! Hed be like u cant have it at Christmas time..because that would interfere...I guess it was all about timing for us!

We knew we were both ready, Id always known he was really nice around kids as hes so playful, he was very responsible, we were both healthy we had a mortgage together...saved up some money...so I guess all these things fell into place.

Wishing you lots of luck and hoping you get :bfp: real soon. I still have my confirm preg stick from my kit that I bought from the supermarket!! Ahhh memories. I cried so much telling DH the news...we both did :) It was such a nice emotional cry! We just hugged for ages!!!Valentine