View Full Version : Had enough! 5 months old and still waking 5 to 8 times a night...
wannabemum
03-01-2008, 20:01
Hello my lovely bubhubbers, I am in need of some help/advice here please. My beautiful little man "Malik" is 5 months old and he is just so amazing so the fact that he doesnt sleep has not been a huge issue. But now its getting ridiculous, I am that sleep deprived that I fell asleep on the loo this morning (yes pants around my ankles and head against the wall), I constantly fall asleep at nights (whilst breastfeeding), and wake up with a very cold boob :rolleyes:. Things need to change.....
Little man had bad colic for the first 7 weeks and then acid reflux for the next month and a half. It has only been the last 2 months therefore, that we have been able start implementing some sleeping/settling techniques, until then every sleep was a HUGE mission, involving; the pram, the car, rocking, etc even me singing to him (poor possum). He is now successfully putting himself to sleep during the day (we put him in his cot awake and after some whinging "protest crying" some might call it, he falls asleep - no tears or anything, little champ :D).
But nights are still a nightmare. He sleeps for about 3 hours to start with and then wakes, I feed him, he sleeps for say 2 to 3 then wakes, then sleeps for about an hour and a half and then hourly until morning. And putting him back to sleep is hard work, as soon as we finally get him to sleep he wakes again. He would go to asleep straight away if I fed him, but he has formed this sleep association (from when he had his colic & reflux), so he wakes and wants a feed in order to go back to sleep. He's not hungry, its just comfort. He has come so far with his day sleeps, how can I teach him to put himself back to sleep at night, without a feed???
Any advice would be appreciative, thanks so much ladies :flowerz: xxx
:hugs:
I know exactly how you feel!
Does he sleep in bed with you or in a cot next to you?
DS used to sleep in bed with me and we both would wake at the smallest movement / noise and I ended up putting him in a cot next to me and putting a night light on. I think at around 9 months, from memory, I actually gave him a rollover feed and if he woke in the night - I would make sure he could see / feel me and waited for him to just resettle himself. It only took a few days to work but it's probably considered "extreme".
bel_aiden
03-01-2008, 20:10
:wave: my lil man stil wakes for 2-4 feeds a night between 7-7
is there anything different you do during day and a night when he does to sleep and self settles??? like does he have a sleepsuit at night but not at day, or a teddy??? ds1 use to suck on his sleeve when he went to sleep so when summer came around things went backwards, and took me a bit to work out. i gave him a comfort toy and he used it day and night to help him self settle...
ds2, i just feed him to sleep at night though as i cant be bothered settling him.. and its quiker for me to just latch him on and hes fed n asleep
UmmInayah
03-01-2008, 20:11
:hugs::hugs::hugs: No advice, but I am exactly where you are.. Bub wakes every hour.. Yes, every hour during the night. I am too tired to rock her or pat her or even to hear her cry, so, I feed her back to sleep.. She stays in bed with me and as soon as she whinges I just attach her to the nearest boob.. (She now tells me when it's empty and reaches for the other one.. So i just lie on my tummy and give her that one)..
Anyway, bub is 7 months. I am hoping it's just a separation anxiety thing (although we are NEVER separated!) And I am hoping it passes soon.. I too have not a decent nights sleep in forever and it's really getting to me.. Not to mention the fact that my husband now sleeps on the floor next to the bed :( Sigh..
If you find anything that helps.. please let us know!
hi my dd1 woke alot like this and dint sleep through properly until she was 4 and ds1 wakes maybe once a night and so does dd2. I have bought a noise machine with dd1 and put that on so she always hears something and thinks we are around and all those noises dont wake her i have used the machine for all of them and ds1 who is nearly 3 demands it to be put on everynight or he wont go to sleep. try this and i have also found a bottle of water in bed (doesnt leak) for comfort if he takes water if not maybe just the smell of you maybe you could "wear" his blanket of a night time so it has your smell on it sometimes that works ( know from working in childcare some love it)..goodluck with it , anything you try will take a little while but dont give up it will get better
the_queen
03-01-2008, 20:21
I find that my boy needs to have me next to him to sleep better at night. He can be on the opposite side of the bed, but his little arm is stretched out so he can touch my hair or arm. Or he ends up sleeping horizontally and puts his legs on top of my body.
I recommend doing whatever it takes - co-sleeping, side-carring the cot, lullabub cot rocker, amby baby hammock, weighted blanket over him to help him get through from one sleep cycle to the next. From what you've said, it sounds like he's getting to that sleep cycle change-over and rousing himself and not being able to get back to sleep. Me personally, I'd feed back to sleep every time, but I co-sleep exclusively with my boy and I've never given a dummy.
Have you tried a dummy? If he just needs a comfort suck to get back to sleep, maybe give that a go. I don't advocate dummies but I don't advocate being so sleep-deprived you fall asleep on the toot, ya poor thing :hugs: I bet those few moments of shut-eye felt good though :D
Do you cluster feed in the evening? My boy at this age used to feed pretty much constantly between about 5 and 9pm, and then sleep until I gave him a dreamfeed at around 11pm, and then he'd wake again about 3am-ish, then again about 6-ish and be up for the day. Eventually the 3am feed got later and later until it morphed into the 6am feed, and that's where we're still at now (except he doesn't cluster feed in the evening, just has a nice cuddly feed to sleep).
A dreamfeed means picking him up when asleep and putting him on the boob to top up his belly without him waking up. I found that when I'd go to sleep at about 11pm, he'd wake me between midnight-1am for a feed, then again at 3. So I put in the dreamfeed, which meant I got to lay down in bed at 11pm, with him attached, and then I'd fall asleep, and not get woken until 3am, when I'd sleepily lift up my tshirt and attach him and go back to sleep.
:hugs: and sleepy vibes to you and your boy. You must sleep when he does during the day (I assume you do) and if you take lots of B vitamins (eg "Mega B Formula") you will sleep better when you're asleep, and feel more awake when you're awake. Keeping your vitamin C and Zinc levels up, as well as magnesium, will keep your immune system top-notch which will help you feel better in general. :hugs:
wannabemum
03-01-2008, 20:21
:hugs::hugs::hugs: No advice, but I am exactly where you are.. Bub wakes every hour.. Yes, every hour during the night. I am too tired to rock her or pat her or even to hear her cry, so, I feed her back to sleep.. She stays in bed with me and as soon as she whinges I just attach her to the nearest boob.. (She now tells me when it's empty and reaches for the other one.. So i just lie on my tummy and give her that one)..
Anyway, bub is 7 months. I am hoping it's just a separation anxiety thing (although we are NEVER separated!) And I am hoping it passes soon.. I too have not a decent nights sleep in forever and it's really getting to me.. Not to mention the fact that my husband now sleeps on the floor next to the bed :( Sigh..
If you find anything that helps.. please let us know!
I think you just exactly wrote our current situation. Bub slept with me in bed for 4 months and dp slept in the spare room, on the floor or in the lounge room (and still does some nights). I put Malik into his cot in his room for a week (I was the one with separation anxiety though :(). Anyways it was too hard to go into his room every time he woke and bring him back into my bed to feed him (bad back) etc etc. So set up the cot next to our bed now. He has one of my singlets (that I'm not allowed to wash) which is his little comforter (wont take a dummy either). But some nights its just so much easier to feed him to sleep, but he wakes an hour later anyway, whether I rock him to sleep or feed him. Feeding is just easier.....
wannabemum
03-01-2008, 20:25
The queen, I agree, its the changing from one sleep cycle to the next, its just strange that he wakes more often as he gets closer to morning :confused:. He's so tired too, he lays there whinging with his eyes closed, poor possum, he wants to sleep (and so do I!)
UmmInayah
03-01-2008, 20:32
I think you just exactly wrote our current situation. Bub slept with me in bed for 4 months and dp slept in the spare room, on the floor or in the lounge room (and still does some nights). I put Malik into his cot in his room for a week (I was the one with separation anxiety though :(). Anyways it was too hard to go into his room every time he woke and bring him back into my bed to feed him (bad back) etc etc. So set up the cot next to our bed now. He has one of my singlets (that I'm not allowed to wash) which is his little comforter (wont take a dummy either). But some nights its just so much easier to feed him to sleep, but he wakes an hour later anyway, whether I rock him to sleep or feed him. Feeding is just easier.....
:hugs: It sucks doesn't it? This might not be a permanent solution, but do you think you could go to bed when bub goes to bed? I have started doing that with DD on the odd occasion, and because I am so tired, I fall asleep pretty easily. Seeing as bub sleeps well for the first 3 hours, it would be great to see if you could get an unbroken 3 hour sleep too!
They're just babies, and this will pass. He needs your help for now, and eventually it will get better :fingerscrossed:
Malik is such a gorgeous name, btw :) Do you know what it means?
the_queen
03-01-2008, 20:41
The queen, I agree, its the changing from one sleep cycle to the next, its just strange that he wakes more often as he gets closer to morning :confused:. He's so tired too, he lays there whinging with his eyes closed, poor possum, he wants to sleep (and so do I!)
Poor little man :sleeping: Do you have any lavender essential oil? A tiny bit, dabbed on a tissue, then put on the bedhead or sidetable, so it's not right in his face but close enough that he can smell it. Lavender is very calming, and maybe when he wakes, a little bit of calming lavender scent may help him be relaxed enough to go back to sleep.
Would he take a dummy if you put it in his mouth after he's asleep? I sound like I'm pushing the dummy issue, which I usually do not, but I guess what I'm saying is that if he stirs, starts automatically sucking, and has something in his mouth to suck on, he might go back to sleep.
What about a weighted blanket? This worked for me to get my boy sleeping longer than 45 minutes during the day. I just used a double-size pure wool blanket, folded up so it only just fitted on top of him. It was heavy, which means that when he stirred, he felt snug and cosy, and he would kinda raise his head up, turn it from side to side, maybe let out a bit of a "errrrr" noise, and then flop back down to sleep with his mouth going as if he was chewing on nothing :D so cute. And so great that he went back to sleep.
Do you sleep him on his back or his front? This is totally AGAINST the recommendations so feel free to ignore this advice and tell me off for suggesting it :cool: If he is able to lift his head up when on his tummy, then I would be putting him to sleep on his front. There is a reason that our mothers and grandmothers put their babies to sleep this way - because they sleep better this way. OBVIOUSLY it is more important to protect babies from SIDS than to get more sleep, and I categorically state that I advocate the SIDS for Kids recommendations. But, you weigh things up for yourself, perhaps try sleeping him on his tummy during the day and watch him like a hawk, see if he is OK, and then decide for yourself.
Another thing, and I'm sure you're taking care of this, but I just thought I'd mention - he's not cold or hot, is he? What kind of nappy does he wear overnight, do you think he stirs a little bit then feels wet on his bum which wakes him up more? Is he wearing one layer too many, so he stirs a little and feels a bit sweaty or hot-and-bothered, so wakes up more?
Hope you both look like this ---> :sleeping: ALL night tonight :hugs:
reAllytee
03-01-2008, 21:46
Do you sleep him on his back or his front? This is totally AGAINST the recommendations so feel free to ignore this advice and tell me off for suggesting it :cool: If he is able to lift his head up when on his tummy, then I would be putting him to sleep on his front. There is a reason that our mothers and grandmothers put their babies to sleep this way - because they sleep better this way. OBVIOUSLY it is more important to protect babies from SIDS than to get more sleep, and I categorically state that I advocate the SIDS for Kids recommendations. But, you weigh things up for yourself, perhaps try sleeping him on his tummy during the day and watch him like a hawk, see if he is OK, and then decide for yourself.
Hey we have missed you guys hope you come back to the July thread soon :wave:
Now like the Queen has suggested above its not something i normally recommend either BUT being that Malik had/has reflux this could really help him.
The hour waking is very very common for a reflux baby & it sucks. We have just gotten over this stage & honestly falling asleep on the loo was the least of my probs cause i would even do it playing with Boof :o
He may have learnt his behaviour of the waking cycle due to the reflux or he may still have it & this why he wakes. So its going to be hit & miss for awhile till you work it out.
For us i had to start swaddling Squeak again because we found that the pain was what was waking him & making him startle. So swaddling really helped & i only needed to do it until he learnt to sleep again & the meds really kicked in.
I know saying learning to sleep sounds like forcing it upon them etc thats not what i mean btw lol !
We found a routine was really something he needed also again not something every baby needs. So we would feed then cuddle & rock. I would then swaddle him while he was drowsy then pop him in his bed. Squeak also has a wrap that ive slept on that he uses as his comforter lol he rubs it over his face heh. So that always has to be near by & one of his fav toys. If i miss one of those things all hell breaks loose !
I was going to say something else but my mind has gone blank .... Awesome !!!! :rolleyes:
Will come back with more if i can think of it !
If a bub is going to have trouble sleeping it's at night time... Even though at this age they can differentiate nigt time today it is about the sleep cycles (as already posted) nightime cycles are different... their body clock knows night time is sleeping longer HOWEVER it's training them to transition from one cycle to another... this is about perserverance and sleep deprivation for you but i promise it does work in the end.... I never used controlled crying.... I co-slept for the first 2 months due to the same probs your bub has had (colic,reflux)...
Does he still suffer from reflux hun?
wannabemum
03-01-2008, 22:41
Malik is such a gorgeous name, btw :) Do you know what it means?
Thanks for your reply. Malik is Tahitian, it means King :), pronounced Mu-leek :bee:
luckymama
03-01-2008, 22:43
Do you co-sleep?
That helped our DS and he started sleeping through since a few weeks old, and had more recently been sleeping 8-10 hours.
Worth a shot i say.
wannabemum
03-01-2008, 23:05
Would he take a dummy if you put it in his mouth after he's asleep? I sound like I'm pushing the dummy issue, which I usually do not, but I guess what I'm saying is that if he stirs, starts automatically sucking, and has something in his mouth to suck on, he might go back to sleep.
Do you sleep him on his back or his front? This is totally AGAINST the recommendations so feel free to ignore this advice and tell me off for suggesting it :cool: If he is able to lift his head up when on his tummy, then I would be putting him to sleep on his front. There is a reason that our mothers and grandmothers put their babies to sleep this way - because they sleep better this way.
Another thing, and I'm sure you're taking care of this, but I just thought I'd mention - he's not cold or hot, is he? What kind of nappy does he wear overnight, do you think he stirs a little bit then feels wet on his bum which wakes him up more? Is he wearing one layer too many, so he stirs a little and feels a bit sweaty or hot-and-bothered, so wakes up more?
Thanks once again you are being sooo hopeful. Will try the dummy once he is asleep. Not sure about the nappy thing, but he does it just after we change it anyway, and pretty sure he's ok temp wise as sometimes when I am sure he has been too warm he has still slept as per usual routine :confused:. He did sleep on his tummy for about 2 months (wouldnt sleep on his back) cause of his reflux, now hes back to wanting to sleep on his back... very strange little man :)
wannabemum
03-01-2008, 23:12
Yes I did co -sleep from 2 weeks old up until 4 months old. I do believe that the sleep cycle is a habit which formed from when he had colic and reflux, he wakes and expects the boob to go back to sleep. Just a matter of breaking that cycle now I guess...
Thanks so much ladies, you are all so helpful.
Yes Allyoo, I am back on line, so Ill be popping into the July thread, missed you girls :flowerz:
Hey gorgeous!! :hugs:
My goodness 5 months old!!! :eek: hasn't that gone so fast!!! :( Hope you are all well otherwise!!! :goodvibes:
Tyler was much the same.... some things we tried lol.... we tipped the cot and bassinett up... literally put rolled up towels under the mattress in the bassinett and cot and books under the wheels... this helped with the flow of the reflux iykwim.
Tyler had a dummy.... much to my disgust... and it ended up being more trouble than it was worth... so I won't advise you on that one :laughing:
We tried the co-sleeping but it didn't work for us at all!!
I did the singing, and rocking and everything...
But the thing that worked the best for us was offering him a bit of water when he woke... as he realised that was all he was going to get and it wasn't worth waking for. (As horrible as that sounds) as he too was waking and not after a feed... and the wakes soon slowed down...
We also realised he loved sleeping with noise. So we got a little thing lol that made nature sounds and when we put him into his cot, or he woke we would just turn it on and he would more often than not settle with it.
Also.... you say he wakes more as it gets to morning.... What is the lighting like in his room... we had this too... and I clicked on I can only sleep in the dark dark.... so tried it with Tyler... by hanging up thick blankets over top of his curtains.... and he slept better in the morning... could outside light be a problem??...
not sure if you've tried any of this.... but I hope it eases for you hun!!! :hugs:
My friend had the same problem with her DS. Her Paed told her to put him on his tummy to sleep. She did so from 6 weeks and has never had a problem with him sleeping since. It did freak her out for a while, constantly watching him but she soon started to feel comfortable with the decision.
Is there anyone that can watch your bub for you during the day so you can catch up on some much needed zzzzz's???
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