Questions for Doulas

[Fairyfloss]

Hi ladies, I have decided to get a trainee Doula :smiliedance: , and have two people showing interest and wanting to be my support. I think I will only need one and hence I have decided to have a face to face meeting and discuss my plans (very minimal at this stage, cause god I know so much:o ),so I can choose on eof them,

any how, I was wondering what do you think would be the main issues that needs to be discussed, and what questions should I ask them.

Any comments from mums/mums to be and Doulas is appreciated.:)

Parisa

[shed]

Hi Parisa!!

I am meeting my trainee doula on tuesday (very exciting). I am just going to get to know her and ask her what she envisions her role to be and why she wants to be my doula. Mainly though, I just want to get her "vibe" to see if I would be comfortable.

We sort of clicked on the phone so its quite exciting. She told me about her own children and their births and we seem to be quite in tune.

Let me know how you go okay? I am due three days before you but I haven't seen you post in awhile. :)

[Tracie]

Hi Parisa,

The DONA website has a great list of questions to ask your prospective doulas....

What training and education do you have?
What is your philosophy about childbirth and supporting women and their partners through labor?
When do you try to join women in labor - at their home or at the place of birth?
Will you discuss our birth plans and the role that you will play in supporting us through childbirth?
May we call you with questions or concerns before or after the birth?
Do you work with one or more backup doulas for times when you are not available? May we meet them?
What is your fee, what services does it include and what are your refund policies?
Will you provide references?

But probably THE most important thing is for you and your partner to meet both ladies face to face and decide if you feel comfortable with them because this will be way more important than the amount of experience they have.....

Are they kind, warm and enthusiastic? Are they knowledgeable? Do they communicate well? Are they good listeners? Are they comfortable with your choices or do they seem to have their own agenda? Do you feel at ease with them?

Hope that helps! So great to hear you are travelling this path! Wishing you all the best!

[JanetF]

http://www.maternitywise.org has GREAT lists of stuff to ask all kinds of careproviders as well as considerations and qns for people running all manner of birth places.

Once you ask all your qns and have the responses, go away and think about it some more. Really listen to your gut feeling. Remember, no one takes you on as a favour and you are the boss! And that goes for anyone in a hospital, hiring an OB, whatever. If your gut resonates with anything other than complete joy at finding this careprovider, walk away and look for another. Interview lots, and run a hard audition. The birth of a child is far too important to miss out on anything less than perfect support! These people are all professionals who won't be upset or offended by your questions or if you don't hire them, OR if you do hire them and then things happen that show they're not right for you. Too many women stick with careproviders they're unhappy with so don't make that mistake.

Get assertive, be a consumer! You and your baby are too precious to deserve anything less, right?

[dace101]

Well said JanetF!

(I have been meaning to reply to this thread, but we are all sick with the 'flu. *boohoo*)

[Baby Girl]

I completely agree with JanetF. You need to be happy with your support team!!

As far as I can tell Doulas are more interested in helping women to birth the way they want to so would be fairly understanding if you did not feel that they were THE ONE for you.

[Doula Jane]

Hi Parisa

I'm a certified Doula with DONA International, and at the momet I live in Texas, USA but will be moving to Perth around July of this year.

The questions listed on DONA that Tracy mentioned are a good guide for your initial "interview" with your Doula, and I agree that I think the main thing is that you feel absolutely 100% comfortable with her. Remember that she is going to be supporting you and you partner through an extremely intimate and often intense time and her presence should enhance that time and not cause any anxiety or strain. A professional Doula will always respect the wishes of the Mum, even if they go completely against her personal feelings. Her personal views do not enter into any conversations or decision making. Professional Doulas know that this is YOUR birth, YOUR body, and that the decisions made should be YOURS only.

Ultimately, the Doula's role is to help you have as positive a birth experience as she can, according to your wants and needs. She should help you with your birth plan, educating you along the way about risks and benefits of the various interventions and augmentations (so that you can make informed decisions about your care), pre-natal care and exercises, and following delivery, make post-partum visits to help you with anything that you feel you need help with, such as breastfeeding, care of the newborn, even down to taking care of the new baby while you catch up on some sleep or take a shower.

Another thing to ask is if she has a Back-Up Doula. All Doulas should really have a back-up in case for some reason they are unable to get to your birth. You may think that this wouldn't happen, but you never know, and if you're paying for a service, you really need to know that you're going to receive it! You would definitely need to meet the back-up also, to make sure you feel comfortable with her too.

Have a look at www.dona.org and www.childbirth.org (click on doulas). Also if you'd like to contact me privately, please feel free - I'd be glad to help and answer any questions you may have!

One last thing I would say is that if you get a good Doula, it's very worthwhile and can really help you have the birth that you want.

I hope this helps......:o

Doula Jane

[dace101]

All the suggestions and advice previous posters have given are wonderful, especially regarding feeling comfortable with your Doula (after all, who wants someone you feel incompatable with at your birth?).

I just wanted to add that, for trainee Doulas sometimes it can be extremely hard to find those first few qualifying births. Since you have two interested in helping you achieve a beautiful and positive birth experience, I wanted to point out that - provided you feel them both to be wonderfully educated individuals who will be able to comfort and support you in the way you desire - you can still invite both of them to assist you. Even though you may feel you only "need" one of them, having them work in tandem can have its benefits (although I can understand and appreciate some women's discomfort with an "extra body" at a private and emotional event).

Going on the assumption that you love both of them and would consider that option, here's a few things to contemplate...
Would you feel comfortable having two additional people attending your labour to support and comfort you?
Perhaps you would prefer one to take on the role of Doula while allowing the other to merely observe (for her experience - even though I'm not sure that would count toward one of her certification births, atleast the experience will be beneficial to her).
If they have two different styles, you may feel they compliment each other (for example, one may be more hands-on and the other more nurturing - sometimes women need varying degrees of support through labour when it comes to the type of personality you need in your Doula).
One could carry a 'lesser' role by taking photographs (if you want them) or getting icechips etc while the other remained 100% at your side (sometimes birth can be overwhelming for the father and he may be in need of his own Doula hehe).
If you will be their first birth ever to Doula at, they may feel more comfortable and at ease working with another Doula in the same position (helping each other as they support and comfort you).
Do they charge anything (it is my experience that trainee Doulas working toward certification charge nothing at all or atleast very reduced fees)? Paying for both of them may be costly if you chose to do so.

All of this is a theoretical suggestion, I'm in no way pressuring you to accept both Doulas, or to invite people to your birth merely for THEIR sake so please don't take it that way. This was all just something for you to consider (knowing how hard it can be sometimes for Doulas to find births to attend). Whatever you choose, I'm wishing you a beautiful and positive birth experience and warm loving vibes. Good luck! :)