should I buy myself a ring for my left hand?

[mumnbub]

I need some advice. Im a single mum (ever since I was 5 months pregnant) anyway sometimes I dont feel comfortable in being a single mummy sometimes ppl look at my left hand to see if there is a ring on there (which there is not) anyway when I was pregnant I spoke to a family psychologist who suggested to me that if I do feel self conscience about it then I should buy myself a ring to go on that finger? Sometimes I want to other times I dont depends on my mood (esp when feeling down and out in public) I know that a lot of you will say be comfortable and proud of who you are and there is a lot of us single parents out there (for whatever reason) but I just want some advice thats all thanks guys :)

[OneBabyBoy]

Seems like a bizarre thing for a psychologist to say - to pretend to be something you're not instead of helping you accept and embrace single parenthood.

As you can see I think it's probably not the best idea. Don't lie to yourself. You're a single parent - be proud of that - it's damn hard work.

[Mum2Bug]

Seems like a bizarre thing for a psychologist to say - to pretend to be something you're not instead of helping you accept and embrace single parenthood.

As you can see I think it's probably not the best idea. Don't lie to yourself. You're a single parent - be proud of that - it's damn hard work.

:iagree::iagree:

[Lollie86]

I agree too. If anything buy yourself a ring for your right hand to show that you are proud and dont need a ring on your left hand to be a better mother.

I am engaged and never wear my ring and get lots of looks but then again I know a lot of people who are married and dont wear their rings.

[benji's_mum]

:iagree:

I'm married and don't wear a wedding ring. People might look at my hand to see if I'm married, I haven't noticed. I'm a great mum and it makes no difference what other people think.

[SmileyBJ]

I think if it makes you feel comfortable then theres no harm...

As you said it is only in certain times or circumstances...

[mumfor2plus2]

Hey mumnbub

Dont waste the money on the ring.

Instead spend it on a day at the spa and treat yourself. Whether you be a married mum, single mum, working mum, or at any given time all three.

Be proud if you consider yourself a good mum and understand that you deserve the respect that goes with it.

Your raising an upstanding member of the next generation and nothing is more important than that. So who cares what anyone else thinks.

Be proud of yourself and feel comfort in the fact that your doing twice the job of a married mum.

PS I am a married mum and I live in awe of a woman that can do it on her own.

Well done

[LilShenanigans]

I do tend to agree with most people here about embracing being a single mother. It is quite a big thing to accomplish and anyone whose had a child will know that.

But I can also understand social awkwardness - not the ring thing for me, more so other situations.

If you were to buy yourself a ring, I'd recommend buying one that you symbolize as your connection to your child (instead of typical marriage connection). If you did it for that reason alone, and not to pretend for other peoples benefit, then I would say it's ok.

I did something similar when DD was born, I bought a new ring and it's "Lills Ring".. it's not mine, but I'll wear it until she's 16 and then she can have it.

Maybe a good idea for you would be to get a ring with your childs birth stone in it.

[Mamalicious]

To be honest, it will make very little difference to how people see you.

I got 16 when I got married, and when bump started showing, it didn't matter what I did, wore my ring, whatever, I was still a young "stupid" girl who went and got herself knocked up. :rolleyes:

Even now, when I say "my husband" the person I'm talking to will call him my boyfriend. Or I get the "you're too young to be married".

If people are going to judge, they will find something to judge you on whether you're wearing a ring or not.

And as Onebabyboy said, be proud! It is hard work, and you should never be made to feel ashamed for doing it on your own. :hugs:

[34me]

I think its bad luck to wear a ring on that finger if not engaged or married, but thats just me. Also, its a lie really isnt it? I know it might make you feel better but what happens when people ask you about your 'husband'? Are you going to make one up?
I just cant even bear the thought of wearing a ring on my wedding finger thats not meant to be there:no: Im so traditional, that finger is ONLY meant for your wedding/engagement ring to me.
Id be more inclined to put one on my middle finger and show people that one when they are rude or stare :laughing:

[Tam-I-Am]

I agree with the others - I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with wearing a ring on your left hand if it makes you feel more comfortable - but I wouldn't be doing it to make OTHER people feel more comfortable, iykwim.

TBH, I wonder if its something that you feel ultra-sensitive about? The reason I say that is because I'm married, and for a variety of reasons I don't always wear my wedding ring. In fact, I often go for a couple of weeks without wearing it - and I've never noticed anybody looking at me, or acting differently toward me because of the ring, yanno? I can understand how if you feel self-conscious about it, it must SEEM as though everyone is staring at you and judging you though. I guess I'm sort of comparing it to when I used to breastfeed in public. I would do it, but feel SO self-conscious about it that I would half-imagine everyone's judgmental stares, when my DH and friends assured me that nobody was actually looking at me, in more than a passing way, anyway.

Anyway, sorry for the long ramble, I guess what I'm trying to say is - I don't think that there's any harm in wearing such a ring, but I think a better idea would be trying to become more comfortable with yourself as a single mum :hugs:

[Freya]

I'm single and have only once or twice noticed someone look for a ring, but have had many occasions where people ask me if I am married so clearly not many people look for the ring anymore... I think it is a lie to be wearing that, and being a single mother is not something to be ashamed of, be proud you are doing one of the hardest jobs there is.