Access Visits the stupidity of some people

[punkbaby]

Sorry need to vent here :mad:

Firstly dd9 is staying about an hour away at her grandparents (the exs parents) why her dad is down from qld. This is fine i expected it but gee i wish they would realise how stupid they are at times :mad:

He told me on friday that he might have her over new years or he might bring her home the next day, i said fine just ring me sunday. (BTW there are no orders its all verbal) Anyhow its 40 degrees tommorow, so now he rings and yes his taking her, they are going out in the city for the night (the city is about 3 hours for them maybe more) then his flying back tuesday morning and his mum will drop her home on the way back. FYI we are in between melb and the grandparents so they drive past if heading to melbourne. Anyhow i said to him ohh its a bit hot i think that its best that you drop her home and i said i dont like the idea of a 9yo walking the streets of the city at midnight, i said if you were at a freinds thats fine but shes 9.

He hangs up.

I rang dd before on her mobile she was really upset i said whats wrong. Yesterday it was 39degrees here, she said that her dad and her nanny took her to the beach and shes sunburnt, i said oh didnt you use cream, yes she did but she said all she had was her bathers and a towel, no hat and no shade. I said how burnt are you? She said she was vomitting last night and shes very sore :(

Now i rang up the idiot again and asked what was going on, apparently shes extremely burnt and they took her to hospital last night without even damn well telling me, they were at the beach for about 5 hours :mad:

I am so easy going when it comes to access visits but this is just damn well stupid, i told him that he better bring her home on the way to melbourne tommorow as for one, shes to sick to be going out with them and 2 i dont like the idea of her going out. I am waiting for an answer now

I am furious about the whole burnt and not contacting me more than anything you would think if he didnt have sense his mother would!!

By the way i dont know where the grandparents live otherwisei would be in the car getting her

[Mum2Bug]

Aww Punkbaby:hugs::hugs::hugs:

Let rip and let rip good. There is no way that he should've kept that information from you. You are DD's mother and you have a right to know if she is sick, especially when she was bad enough to have to go to hospital.

Maybe next time you could get something that DD could take with her with your contact details, so that if anything ever happens again she can ask them to call you and let you know seeing as he doesnt seem inclined to.

I hope she is feeling better and is ok when she gets home to you.:hugs:

[grass is always greener]

PB i am so sorry i dont have any advice on this topic, but i just wanted to give you one of these :hugs:.
I too would be fuming at the thought of my child getting burnt to the point of vomitting and then not being told about it. :mad: I also agree with you about your DD not going to the city, especially if she is burnt and is sick.

[punkbaby]

Thats the thing that sh!ts me she has her mobile and they watch it for her so she apparently doesnt over use it its like its my damn phone bill she can use it as much as she likes the whole idea of a phone is so she can contact me :(

[Mum2Bug]

Thats the thing that sh!ts me she has her mobile and they watch it for her so she apparently doesnt over use it its like its my damn phone bill she can use it as much as she likes the whole idea of a phone is so she can contact me :(

Make sure they know that whilst it is good that she isnt building up the bill she is allowed to call YOU ANYTIME she wants.

[punkbaby]

Make sure they know that whilst it is good that she isnt building up the bill she is allowed to call YOU ANYTIME she wants.
she is responsible really plus i have a limit on her phone which i can check but she only ever texts me to say shes ok or shes arrived etc and she texts my mum as well. so far she hasnt abused it.

I think that its time for me to get nasty now and do things through the books :(

[Mum2Bug]

Unfortunately sometimes that is the only way to go. I know at the moment I am having similar feelings myself regarding a recent access situation but have tried not to go there yet.

Is there any chance you can sit down and talk and really try to get him to understand where you are coming from, or is that not likely??

I really hope it all works out for you whatever you have to do. Please keep us updated, I might have to take a leaf out of your book myself.

[Lollie86]

I think that its time for me to get nasty now and do things through the books :(

Unfortunately it sounds like your going to have to if he is being irresponsible.

Big :hugs:to you PB, I hope he brings her home to you and she is okay.

ETA: I just re read that yor in melb. The city is so dangerous on New Years. A few years ago DF and I went and there was a huge fight in front of us with bottles flying around everywhere. Its gonna be a scorcher on New Years so my fingers are crossed he brings her home to you tonight.

[punkbaby]

I will be getting the I told you so now from my side :(

Its always been smooth running but he never tells me where she is, where they are going etc, and always seem to mind her phone for her. She always comes back a little quiet and then tells me that dad sais that i dont love her as i have my other kids and coz shes got a different dad that i dont love her as much blah blah blah blah, seeing i keep it nice i would expect the same, i am pretty much doing it for dd only but once a year doesnt really cut it i guess.

I wish there was some way you could put on a medicare card to alert the mothers in cases like this thas what annoys me the most

[samken]

Can you contact her and ask to talk to the grandparents so you can pick her up? Also I would be really angry with them, she basically had sunstroke and as she only sees these people once a year she probably isn't going to be comfortable telling them the truth (ie I'm sick and want to go home NOW).

BTW try not to blow it all too much out of proportion. Sadly getting sunburnt is pretty common when people aren't used to kids and as you say she only sees them once a year. Him being a pr*ck is probably why you aren't together anymore.

[punkbaby]

She wont know i am angry she doesnt know what i think of her father, i wont let her know :) still its common sense that in the sun on 39 degree heat to cover up personally i wouldnt go to the beach on a day like that unless it was first thing in the morning or in the evening.
She sees the grandparents every 6 weeks for a weekend so shes pretty close to them just not him i guess.
Ihavent been with him since she was a month old and yeah well partly due to him being a pr*ck and other things :)

[Mum2Bug]

Might be time to get tough then. It sounds to me like he is being very irresponsible and to go around telling his own child **** like that is pathetic, insensitive to your dd's feelings, and generally immature and dishonest.

[punkbaby]

Might be time to get tough then. It sounds to me like he is being very irresponsible and to go around telling his own child **** like that is pathetic, insensitive to your dd's feelings, and generally immature and dishonest.
Thats what i dont like as well i mean she thinks we are good freinds we play the part in front of her, otherwise i couldnt give a damn but i do it for her, i would expect the same, he doesnt realise how much it hurts her i dont think shes quiet smart so shes not silly

[Mum2Bug]

Thats what i dont like as well i mean she thinks we are good freinds we play the part in front of her, otherwise i couldnt give a damn but i do it for her, i would expect the same, he doesnt realise how much it hurts her i dont think shes quiet smart so shes not silly

Where your dd is concerned, I think the only thing you can do is reiterate the fact that you love her more than anyone else in the world does and that it will never change, no matter what anyone says to try to make her think differently. She loves you, she trusts you, and to hear that from you will make it easier for her to not listen to what her father or anyone else says to her about you.

You are a wonderful, loving mummy and she knows that just as we all do.:hugs::hugs:

[punkbaby]

I am happy now despite the fact that its nearly midnight and he rings me shes coming home tommorow, he said shes quiet run down, i would be too after sitting in the sun like that!! She asked to come home, at least his got the decency to do what she wants, i can give him that! (thats about it though)

[GraceUnhearing]

is this the same grandparents that left her at maccas?

your poor DD

i hope she is ok


heaps of hugs to you :hugs:

[punkbaby]

Yep same ones, i wonder sometimes if they advise him on what to do with her sometimes with the ideas he comes up with!

[Mum2Bug]

Im glad to hear he is atleast listening to his own daughter and bringing her home.

As for those grandparents, not liking the sound of them.