what do l do

[Allie T]

:crying: Yeasterday l found out l lost one of the twins and now l feel like crap, in a way l should be happy that the other one is still alive but to be honest l dont really care that much which l am having a great deal having a problem with, l am so scared that l am going to loose this baby, the doc told me l have to carry the dead baby around untill l go into labour because it will harm the other baby if they try and take it out, how can l go and have aultrasound and and see my dead baby in there and another one with a heart beat and moving around, l feel like l am going to loose my mind at this point. this is my 3rd baby l have lost what am l doing wrong or arnt l meant to have babys, l lost full term twins last year and l still havent gotten over it and now l have to deal with this.:crying: :crying: :cry

[Ruby Slippers]

I'm so sorry for your loss :crying: I hope everything works out and you give life to a wonderful baby :fingerscrossed: i'm thinking of you :hugs: , from Kylie.

[MariaO]

you poor darling, you are not doing anything wrong - just rotten bad luck. Of course you are worried and grieving for your lost little one. just remember that there is a little heartbeat inside of you - take care of yourself and try and be positive for that little one. I know that must be so hard to do.

Sorry again - we will be thinking of you.

[My3kids]

:crying: Yeasterday l found out l lost one of the twins and now l feel like crap, in a way l should be happy that the other one is still alive but to be honest l dont really care that much which l am having a great deal having a problem with, l am so scared that l am going to loose this baby, the doc told me l have to carry the dead baby around untill l go into labour because it will harm the other baby if they try and take it out, how can l go and have aultrasound and and see my dead baby in there and another one with a heart beat and moving around, l feel like l am going to loose my mind at this point. this is my 3rd baby l have lost what am l doing wrong or arnt l meant to have babys, l lost full term twins last year and l still havent gotten over it and now l have to deal with this.:crying: :crying: :cry

Your not doing anything wrong hon, I'm so sorry this has happened again. I know it's hard, and there is the questions of why me, which no one can answer. Try not to stress it wont help with the baby you still have. (easy said than done). BIG HUGS, I'm so sad for you I know how you feel I have been there before, If you want to ever talk or chat up PM me or email me. It makes me upset even though I don't know you but I Remember the pain. It's very upsetting.BIG HUGS and thinking of you!

[Blessed Mum]

Oh Allie, Your thread brought tears to my eyes :crying: . I'm truly sorry to hear of your news. I think you are feeling perfectly natural at this point as I wouldn't know what to do either. Please, please don't blame yourself - there is absolutely nothing you are doing wrong. I don't know why these things happens. But stay strong & fight for your other little one in there,

I'm praying for you & thinking of you. Be strong.

Taraxx

[Vikki]

I'm So very very sorry for your lost - wish I could give you a big hug. Hope you have lots of support and someone to hug you there.
I know it is hard, but try to be positive for the lovelly baby you still have - It needs you.
Thinking of you xxxx

[nemosmum]

oh hun thats horrible:crying: very sad.

I think its great that your able to come on here and express how your feeling, know that there are people here (as Im sure there are in your real life) who care about you and are always here to listen.:hugs:

You have every right to feel the way you do and say "why me", you need to grieve for your beautiful baby but remember you also have to be strong for your other little angel who needs you!

Im sending you positive energy to help you through this tough time on your journey to motherhood:)

[LittleBoysRock]

I dont have any advice to give you as I am very fortunate and havent been in this position. I think it is perfectly normal to be feeling sad and anxious about your pregnancy. I dont think anybody can blame you for that.

I really hope that the remainder of your pregnancy is positive and healthy. I think it is important to grieve for your lost babies and to prepare for a healthy delivery of your baby.

It is so important to realise you havent done anything wrong and to stay strong for your little one. I realise all of this is a lot easier said than done. All of us are here to support you whenever you need it.

Take care of yourself and take the time you need to heal.:hugs:

[Doula Jane]

Allie

My heart goes out to you - this is such a hard thing to deal with......

Grief is a very individual thing, and there is no right or wrong way to deal with it. But time will heal - I know that you don't feel that way right now because you've suffered so much loss in such a short time, but when you're holding your precious newborn in your arms, you'll begin to heal.

The other ladies are right........you haven't done anything wrong. I believe that everything happens for a reason. Sometimes we find out what that reason is, and sometimes we don't. And if we don't, we need to accept that the babies that you lost were just not meant to be in this world. You're going to have to dig deep to find the strength to go on and take care of yourself and that beautiful new life inside you. Take comfort that your babies are still together....

I went through a similar situation a few years ago. As small as my baby was that I lost, I had a service for her with just my husband and I, and had a headstone in the Garden of Rememberance so that I had somewhere to go to talk to her, and take her siblings to.

As I say, people deal with grief very differently, and you'll find your way. Try to surround yourself with positive people, keep talking on bub-hub - this is a great place to find understanding and empathy.

This song helped me deal with my loss, I hope you find some comfort in it....


Fly, fly, little wing, fly beyond imagining,
The softest cloud, the whitest dove, upon the wind of heaven's love.
Past the planets and the stars, leave this lonely world of ours.
Escape the sorrow and the pain, and fly again....

Fly, fly, precious one, your endless journey has begun.
Take your gentle happiness; far too beautiful for this.
Cross over to the other shore, there is peace forever more.
But hold the memory bittersweet, until we meet.........

Fly, fly, do not fear, don't waste your breath, don't shed a tear.
Your heart is pure, your soul is free. be on your way, don't wait for me.
Above the universe you'll climb, on beyond the hands of time.
The moon will rise, the sun will set, but I won't forget..........

Fly, fly little wing, fly where only angels sing.
Fly away, the time is right; go now....find the light...........

Doula Jane xx

[stellaj]

I lost of of my twins as well, it is a really difficult thing to go through.
Happy for one/ sad about the other, ppl who say 'oh well lucky you have one' and the idea that the other baby is still inside you. Nothing anyone says will make you feel better but know that it is OK to grieve and rely on others (like us) for support. As i get close to meeting this baby i wonder what it would of been like to have twins coming, would they of looked similar and even if this baby is going to know it is missing something when it grows up. Pls PM me if you want to talk.:hugs:

[My Miracle Baby]

Allie T, I am so sorry to hear your bad news. Lots of hugs and kisses to you and all the blessings in the world xo